[59]
“Why… after saying such things, do you tell me not to take them to heart?”
A weak smile crossed his slightly pale face.
“You have White Night, and also…”
Yuri sighed deeply.
“That’s not mine to own.”
He had arranged things so White Night could function even when he was absent.
It was the same when deciding on this excursion. Yuri had already been moving with White Night’s independence in mind.
Right now, White Night was essentially rehearsing for when Yuri would be gone.
Naturally, he didn’t do this with the intention of immediately quitting everything and leaving.
As always, Yuri was simply preparing for contingencies.
“Hatred and revenge were my life. But that’s ended now, Chris.”
Sometimes Yuri felt like a streetcar that had lost its destination.
He had already arrived at his destination, but there was no depot to return to.
Yuri was just racing along an endless track.
Not knowing how to stop.
“When I’ve wiped away even the soot left behind by Rosenhauser. What will remain for me then?”
‘Everything.’
But before Chris could answer, his master strongly embraced his back.
The touch digging between his shoulder blades was more desperate than affectionate.
“Only you.”
Shallow breathing caressed Chris’s ear.
“Only you.”
The second statement was closer to something he was saying to himself rather than to Chris.
Recently, his attempt to stand alone again had failed miserably.
Yuri never doubted that Chris would always be by his side.
Not his head, but his instinct knew it.
The fact that his dog would always support him.
If one has lived leaning on another person their whole life, can that person still be considered separate?
Most unfortunately, that dog had already become part of Yuri.
He had no choice but to accept it now.
“Why… what’s wrong?”
Chris murmured.
He knew that Yuri had his own troubles.
But he didn’t expect him to reveal them to Chris.
So this was essentially the first conversation where they completely opened up to each other.
“I’m… not the kind of person you need.”
“Why?”
“Because I’m… an Esper.”
It was a kind of indelible original sin.
“Just by being near you, don’t I make you uncomfortable?”
“What does that matter?”
Yuri said calmly.
“…You dislike me… Espers.”
Chris replied.
“Just because you weren’t an Esper wouldn’t make me not a Guide.”
It was an incomprehensible answer.
Sensing Chris’s dubious gaze, Yuri let out a hollow laugh.
“Of course, it’s true that I hate Espers, but…”
Chris wasn’t hurt by those words.
It wasn’t surprising.
From the beginning, Yuri detested Espers.
Yuri took a deep breath at Chris’s face, which calmly waited for his next words.
His impulse was fueled by that face, so numbed it couldn’t even recognize its own pain.
To be a little more honest.
“What I find even more dreadful than that.”
As if unable to complete the sentence, Yuri bit his lip slightly.
“…What I truly find dreadful is the fact that I myself am a Guide.”
This was Yuri’s most intimate truth.
A disturbance like crashing waves spread in Chris’s blue eyes.
Yuri nervously brushed back his hair and squeezed his eyes shut.
He felt a headache when he leaned his body back slightly.
“I’m really saying all sorts of things.”
Hangovers were truly wretched.
When his body was weakened, just having Chris nearby made him increasingly honest.
Having already revealed this much, it seemed pointless to keep his mouth firmly shut.
“Because I perform guiding when I touch an Esper. I hate feeling the realization that I’m a Guide. After all, the reason Rosenhauser killed my parents was because I was a Guide.”
Yuri knew well that this was logically nonsensical.
But in his most vulnerable moments, Yuri couldn’t stop thinking this way.
So this is like a scar left on a healed wound.
“But…”
Chris wanted to somehow deny Yuri’s words.
His gaze wandered in the air as if trying to avoid eye contact.
Yuri reached out and firmly held Chris’s face, which was crumbling like a lost child.
“Espers? I dislike them. But I also hate humans.”
Yuri spat out.
His purple eyes slowly met Chris’s gaze.
“But dogs are fine.”
Yuri had never had any other purpose besides revenge.
If there was anything else Yuri had nurtured besides hatred and anger toward Rosenhauser, it would be Chris.
Having lived so much as one body, he hadn’t realized this fact until Chris was absent.
Chris had made Yuri weak. Made him lean on Chris, then disappeared without a care. His absence taught the once-flawless man something he hadn’t known.
It was clearly loneliness.
Meanwhile, Yuri had tamed Chris and made him kneel. His master whispered human emotions and life to a beast that had been untamed. A being that could have been a calamity became human and didn’t even hesitate to sacrifice.
This would clearly be a downfall.
“I don’t retract my words about not taking it to heart.”
Yuri moved his lips.
“Engrave it firmly in that stupid head of yours.”
This would probably be the first plea he ever uttered.
“Never leave me alone again.”
***
Chris spread his legs while covering his mouth.
Yuri, positioned between his thighs, had spread his buttocks with both hands and buried his face there.
What entered the moist place was not fingers but his tongue.
“P-please, Yuri.”
Being violated by Yuri’s tongue wasn’t a common occurrence.
Noticing his plea to stop, the man bit Chris’s firm buttock as if being mischievous.
“Ah…!”
Considering that even this was received as sexual stimulation, the fire ignited in his body was not ordinary.
Yuri, who easily subdued the rebellious beast, again devoted himself to moistening the lower area.
Knowing full well that he could take in much larger and firmer things, Chris kept making a fuss.
“You’re really trying to… rip my tongue out…”
Yuri, who had momentarily pulled his head back, murmured.
Chris noticed that those lips were wet.
His insides churned.
Like plunging red-hot iron into ice-cold water.
It made him think he’d rather skip all this troublesome activity and just be roughly embraced.
At the same time, he expected Yuri to push him to a level difficult to endure.
Seeing how his desires were tangled in contradictions, it seemed his brain had melted from Yuri’s words.
Otherwise, how could he explain the raw pleasure he was experiencing now?
“Yu-uh… ri…”
The beast floundered, unable to find footing.
Something not firm, but soft, persistently licked below.
A hot flesh mass that toyed with the soft, tender flesh as if tasting it was driving Chris.
The sensation of being probed below always brought both shame and intense pleasure.
His lower area was slick with Yuri’s saliva.
Chris’s eyes reddened at the sensation, quite different from bodily fluids.
“Tell me if you think you can’t handle it.”
Yuri, who slowly raised his body, gripped Chris’s jaw.
He could see that the dog’s eyes, which had lifted his head, were also wet.
This was why, even when resolving to be gentler, he ended up driving Chris when he came to his senses.
Chris, who usually wore an ascetic face, showed his crumbling appearance only to Yuri.
Only in front of him.
“…Then I can do guiding instead of sex.”
Yuri had been completely containing his guiding waves from earlier.
As if intending to satisfy Chris with just his body.
It was different from usual, when he would soak Chris in guiding until he collapsed, until he gasped from the burden.
The heaviness below was probably due to that.
Yuri, who had confessed his possessiveness, had rather withdrawn his mercy.
Chris bit his lower lip, feeling how such tender caresses could feel so cruel.
His thighs trembled.
“I’m… fine.”
Chris muttered between gasps.
He wanted to have Yuri as not a Guide too.
Would he realize something was different then?
“Nngh…!”
Chris moaned at the sensation touching the inside of his leg.
He couldn’t tell the difference right now.
Yuri still knew Chris’s body inside and out.
Chris helplessly crumbled under his caresses.
He thought that perhaps, apart from being a Guide or an Esper, he might simply be terribly lascivious.
In truth, for a very long time, Chris had welcomed anything Yuri gave him.
Whether it was joy or pain.
He had become blindly subordinate to the point where distinguishing between the two was meaningless.
“Ah!”
Chris jerked his waist at the sensation against his sensitive skin.
“Originally, I was thinking of sucking your dick, but you prefer this side, right?”
Yuri, who had removed his mouth, bit the upper thigh and then slowly licked it.
“If you want this side too.”
The man who had deliberately rubbed his cheek against Chris’s erect dick looked up.
Under the long eyelashes, a violet eye as beautiful as it was entrancing was directed at him.
With one hand, he gripped the tip of Chris’s glans while firmly pressing the urethra where pre-cum had been trickling out.
“Tell me even now.”
“Hnngh…!”
It felt dizzying, as if sparks were flashing before his eyes.
His body jerked.
“I’ll grant you anything.”
Yuri, who had mounted him, gently pressed Chris’s legs with his knees and whispered.
“But today, it’s better not to pretend to hold back half-heartedly.”
The man baring his teeth looked more ferocious, even barbaric, than ever before.
Chris, looking up at the conqueror who showed no hesitation in seizing his trophy, only blinked.
“Right now, I don’t have the luxury to indulge you when you act cute.”
