#65
His movements were slow and careful. Even the air in the room seemed to change its flow to match his movements. Under the thin clothing that revealed his shoulder line, the shadow of his ribs faintly showed through, and his long fingers were gently pressing the sheet on his knees. His eyes that had been gazing out the window were blankly groping through empty space like someone who had returned from another world, then slowly returned to reality.
“Archduke?”
It was a brief address, but relief and worry were mixed within it. Gentle, but the waves within were clear. The air in the bedroom became quiet once again.
His face was still pale, but there was a strange vitality in his eyes.
Those eyes were different from usual. Eyes that seemed to hold some firm resolution, yet at the same time belonged to someone trying to distance themselves. An ambiguous light that could neither be called vitality nor the shadow of death dwelled within. It was something that couldn’t be explained by a simple cold or fatigue.
He looked fine, yet seeing those eyes made it feel somewhat like a final surge of energy before death, making things a bit awkward.
The last flame before death. Eyes that shone brightly one last time after organizing everything. Though it seemed too early to see it that way, Skyle felt an unsettling sensation that was suffocating for a moment. But it wasn’t an illusion.
“Yes, Your Highness. How are you feeling today?”
Skyle’s voice was quiet and low. Like etiquette ingrained in his body from long ago, it was polite but with emotions hidden away. However, he couldn’t hide the subtle tremor within.
“Not bad. I’m just worried because I need to start moving soon.”
Ersen’s answer was peaceful. Like someone who really didn’t have much to worry about. However, deep in his voice, remaining fatigue and resignation were thinly soaked in.
Skyle quietly smiled and walked in, placing the bottle he was holding onto the table.
His steps were covered in silence, and even the sound of the bottle touching the table was careful. The medicine bottle was dark glass colored, with a sealed stopper neatly fitted at the neck. The unique grassy scent of medicinal herbs wafted lightly.
“Then you need to recover from your injuries first. It’s medicine for internal injuries. I heard it also contains herbs that purify the blood.”
His tone was careful yet confident. Setting aside what the medicinal effects might be, Skyle thought bringing this was the minimum help he could provide.
“Purify blood? That’s all a scam.”
Ersen spoke without even a smile. However, those words contained weary acknowledgment rather than cynicism. The helplessness toward countless treatments and medications for survival, emotions like familiar despair.
“Even if it’s minimal, such effects do exist.”
Skyle answered that way while carefully opening the bottle. The click sound of the lid opening slightly broke the silence in the room.
“Sigh. Give it here.”
Skyle paused momentarily at the prince’s expression that flashed by for an instant.
A calmness containing no emotion whatsoever appeared on Ersen’s face. But that was exactly the expression of someone trying to hide their emotions. Skyle intuitively recognized the complex emotions contained within. Anxiety and fatigue were tangled together beneath the expression trying to act as if nothing was wrong.
Today’s Ersen was less gaunt than usual, and his expression was also calm. He seemed to be recovering, yet also seemed ominous.
He looked like he might endure longer than expected, while on the other hand, all of this also felt like a final arrangement. A quiet power that confused people. That was what Ersen had today.
“You’ve suffered major injuries consecutively, so please bear with it a little, Your Highness.”
Skyle’s words were light and soft like air, but the affection soaked within was clear. Whether Ersen felt that emotion was unknown.
“The Archduke is really…”
He paused mid-sentence.
Even though the words weren’t finished, Skyle already knew what would follow. The conversations, expressions, and silences repeated over the past several months had trained him.
Skyle could quickly anticipate what Ersen was trying to say.
Why do you keep acting so gentle, something like that probably.
It was a reaction he had grown accustomed to by now.
Yes. This pattern had already been repeated several times. Ersen distrusted himself and tried to push others away, while Skyle carefully watched over him and stayed by his side. But……
But today was somehow different.
The atmosphere was different, and the depth of his gaze was different too. A heavy tranquility as if he had put something down, or as if he had made a resolution. Skyle straightened his body.
Ersen, who had swallowed the medicine in one gulp and been looking at the medicine bottle for a moment, raised his head and met his eyes.
Those eyes were resolute and tired at the same time. The clear eyes of someone who had resigned themselves to something. A gaze containing the resolve to no longer hide anything.
And he spoke in a strangely calm tone.
“Archduke. You don’t need to come this often. I won’t do anything strange.”
“I’m not worried about that though.”
Skyle unconsciously smiled and denied it, but felt something inside his chest sink with a thud. Ersen’s words sounded not like simple reassurance, but like a hint of farewell.
“Liar. You’re afraid of me.”
“What? Me?”
“You afraid of Your Highness?” felt a bit much to say, so Skyle just smiled a little.
Various emotions were mixed in that smile. Surprise, sadness, denial, and even some helplessness. He ultimately couldn’t continue speaking and just remained there.
And he sat beside Ersen’s bed, gazing at Ersen intently.
That gaze was infinitely affectionate, an accumulation of long emotions arising from a heart that watched over him. Hoping that just silently staying by his side would be comforting.
Ersen was looking at the blanket again, not at him.
There was unknowable hesitation in Ersen’s movements as he slowly rubbed between the folds of the blanket with his fingertips.
‘He’s making less eye contact today.’
Skyle found himself thinking that without realizing it.
There was curiosity and suspicion, but to say he was afraid.
That was an unfamiliar and strange statement. Ersen believed that words about fearing himself could never come from Skyle’s mouth. He was someone who had never once made himself vulnerable, always calm and solid like a quiet river. A person who seemed like he wouldn’t even allow the emotion of fear into his embrace. Therefore, the combination of such a word with him was somehow incongruous. It was even interesting.
No one would be able to match Skyle with the word ‘fear,’ so it was even interesting.
So Ersen sometimes wanted to doubt whether he was really human. His appearance of dealing with people with smooth gentleness, perfect etiquette, and flawless reactions was like a statue predetermined from the beginning. While he understood intellectually that he knew how to hide himself and that there must be real emotions within, his heart was always confused.
“Why did you think that way?”
Skyle’s voice remained consistently low and calm. He maintained an affectionate expression while tilting his head slightly to look at Ersen. His tone, polite yet mixed with slight playfulness, sounded harmless. But the exploration hidden within was sharp. Shallow and long waves could be felt, as if trying to peer into his abyss.
“Well. The Archduke would know that, wouldn’t he?”
Ersen raised the corner of his mouth. There was sarcasm in his words, but it wasn’t a forced sharp thorn. Just like a lightly thrown ball, words thrown hoping the other would catch them. Even while saying that, his eyes were still watching Skyle’s face. As if trying to capture even the smallest change.
“It would be nice if you gave me a hint.”
Skyle lightly added those words as if joking. However, his eyes held sincerity. He was genuinely curious. Today’s Ersen was unusually transparent. He wasn’t sharpening his edges or keeping distance. That’s why he was more careful. Because he didn’t know when this tranquility might crumble.
Prince Ersen raised the corner of his mouth mysteriously.
That smile contained weary humor. To some extent self-deprecating, and to some extent showing intent to test the other’s reaction. He didn’t expect any particular answer. He just felt that this moment of making eye contact and having a conversation with someone was somewhat human.
And he slowly made eye contact.
That gaze was brief, but never superficial. At some point, Ersen had become accustomed to meeting Skyle’s eyes. Perhaps because he had come to know that he could see into his depths without saying anything. Perhaps that’s why this brief gaze felt like permitting himself, making him feel somehow melancholy.
“Why are you so honest today?”
“Did it seem that way?”
Skyle briefly asked back. His voice resonated slightly lower, and his eyes shook a little. He couldn’t explain the reason himself either. He just didn’t want to treat today’s Ersen with falsehood. Because he felt something unavoidable. Before that weight, even hiding emotions was meaningless.
“Yeah. Ah! Did you finally become interested in me? I was worried you’d become useless for a while there.”
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
