***
After the rut, Ji Haesu seemed to have lost his mind for a while. The promise that he’d take off the dog collar if Suho got pregnant was something he’d made to himself, so that much was expected, but……
“Suho, did you sleep well?”
Choi Suho hadn’t expected him to get this deeply absorbed in playing house. When he woke up and realized he’d been sleeping while hugging Ji Haesu’s pillow, he jolted in shock and flung it toward the side where Haesu was grinning.
“F-fuck! That’s disgusting!”
“Haha, cute. Today it’s the pillow?”
“Fuck, I told you not to leave your pheromones on things! It makes my skin crawl!”
Some days it was a short-sleeved T-shirt, some days pants, some days underwear, some days…… The item Ji Haesu smeared his pheromones on changed every single day, but the reaction he got in return was always the same. Watching Suho was like watching a scarred stray cat that stubbornly denied being tamed by human hands, and Ji Haesu’s smile melted away softly every time.
“Did you eat something wrong? You sick or something?”
That fond, indulgent smile made his skin crawl so badly he felt like he’d lose his mind. In the past, Suho would’ve snarled, Who the fuck are you saying ate something wrong in front of their hyung? and beaten him with the pillow he’d thrown…… This wasn’t a smile that lunatic should be making……
Thinking more and more that Ji Haesu’s behavior was downright creepy, Choi Suho hugged his own arms—then noticed the clothes he was wearing were Haesu’s and tore them off as if he might rip them apart.
“I told you not to put me in your clothes!”
“But if I don’t, you won’t sleep deeply while you’re pregnant. It’s all for you—”
Thud!
When Suho hurled the clothes away, Ji Haesu let out a pleased hngh like he enjoyed even that. Seeing it, Choi Suho’s face went pale.
“You’ve really lost it. You’re insane! What the hell is wrong with you? I’m doing everything the client asked!”
“Oh, the client?”
Ji Haesu abruptly latched onto the word client and rested a hand on his chin. He hummed thoughtfully, then crossed his arms and stared intently at Choi Suho, who was sitting stark naked on the bed, blotched and bruised all over.
“What are you looking at?” Suho snapped irritably.
God, his personality’s so fucking awful. That’s what makes him cute, though. Smiling fondly at the thought, Ji Haesu pulled a pregnancy test out of his pocket.
“Come to think of it, I haven’t checked whether the baby dropped after the rut.”
“I was bleeding. It’s probably dead.”
Choi Suho said it flatly, without emotion. At that, Ji Haesu’s face stiffened instantly.
“Bleeding?”
“Yeah.”
Looking straight at Ji Haesu, Choi Suho lowered his gaze and smiled.
“Everything’s turning out the way Si-in wants, one step at a time, so don’t worry. Ngh!”
Ji Haesu strode over and grabbed Choi Suho’s wrist, yanking him up. He wasn’t as strong as before the rut, but it still hurt—enough that it felt like his shoulder might pop out. One wrist broken, one ankle broken—was it going to be his shoulder this time?
Bracing himself for the pain and squeezing his eyes shut, Suho felt Ji Haesu seize his chin, forcing him to look up as he stood awkwardly on his casted leg, and heard him speak in a chilling voice.
“Why do you keep calling the client ‘Si-in, Si-in’ in front of me?”
“What the fuck! That’s their name—what do you want me to do?!”
“Call them ‘the client.’ I get pissed when you call them Si-in.”
Choi Suho sneered.
“Jealous because I’m calling them by name?”
He asked half-disbelievingly. Ji Haesu answered with a dead-serious face.
“You’re only figuring that out now? I’m extremely jealous. I love you. Enough to get you pregnant.”
“……”
Choi Suho’s face slowly hardened instead. Ji Haesu stood squarely in front of him, casting a shadow over his body. Suho flinched.
“Don’t call them Si-in. Call them the client.”
If he said Si-in one more time, it felt like he’d get strangled. His instincts were screaming at him to run—this was someone who really would choke him until he died just to teach him properly.
“Then… after the job’s over, can I go to the client—”
“No.”
“Offer the client a sincere apology—”
“A sincere apology? They don’t need that.”
Ji Haesu replied coolly. Choi Suho blinked slowly.
“The client is living happily now with their true lover. Even if they can’t have kids because of you, even if they don’t have as much money as you, they’re with a real Alpha who truly loves them.”
“What?”
Living happily without me? That was a future he’d never once considered. This was someone who’d loved him so deeply they’d gone as far as sucking other Alphas’ cocks for him, loving him to the point of ruining themselves—Do Si-in. They’d almost broken up once when things went wrong between them, but Si-in had come back. Had loved him again.
This time wouldn’t be any different—he’d believed that. Somewhere deep down, he’d assumed that if he went back and apologized again, Si-in would accept him. If there was anyone left who might love him, he was certain it would be Si-in.
“The way to make a client who’s already happy even happier is for you to become unhappy exactly the way they wished, Suho. And then I pick you up when you’re completely ruined and love you.”
“……”
Ji Haesu caressed Choi Suho’s cheek and whispered.
“The person who loves you at the very end will be me. Not the client. When that time comes, you’ll know my name.”
“Fuck you—why would I ever need to know your name?!”
Choi Suho slapped his hand away and shouted, thrashing.
“What use would your name ever be to me?!”
Ji Haesu widened his eyes.
“Shouldn’t you teach it to our child?”
“I already miscarried! So what’s left—gang rape? Gang rape me and throw me away! Lock me in a psych ward or something! Then get lost!”
“No. I won’t do that.”
Ji Haesu smiled shyly.
“If you want gang rape as atonement, I could give you that. But I don’t want to. Getting gang-raped to reduce your guilt? That’s just running away. You’d go through it, then go back to the client and say, I suffered the same thing you did, so please look at me again, wouldn’t you?”
“……!”
“It’s obvious without even seeing it. You don’t love the client, Suho.”
Leaning his arm against Choi Suho’s shoulder, Ji Haesu tilted his head and spoke in a languid voice.
“You’re like an abandoned dog or stray cat, desperately wandering around looking for someone to love you. First your father, then a nanny, then the client, then…… You just kept replacing them one after another.”
“What the hell do you know about me to talk like that?”
“I’ve seen countless people like you and carried out revenge for them—and watched revenge happen. People flailing around, convinced they’re in love. In reality, they’re just struggling because they’re lonely. And honestly, loneliness and love are separated by only a hair’s breadth. You love because you’re lonely, and you’re lonely because you love.”
Thump, thump.
Choi Suho’s heart pounded. Don’t get swayed by his words.
“I think humans fundamentally have children to soothe that loneliness—to create a double of themselves. Someone who’ll never betray them. My child. The family I create.”
Choi Suho’s eyes wavered. Ji Haesu’s hand rested on his lower abdomen.
“Think about it carefully. You said it yourself. That if you had a child, you’d treat them well, unlike your fathers. That you’d give them nothing but love.”
“Yeah. I would. But don’t get it twisted, Ji Haesu. I told you—there’s no you in that picture.”
It wasn’t some decisive tug-of-war—every time he thought he’d won, it felt like he was about to lose, and every time he thought he’d lose, it felt like he might win…… Even as this back-and-forth lovers’ quarrel began to irritate him, Ji Haesu found himself smiling.
Yeah. This was romance. Even while annoyed, he smiled at the sight of Choi Suho heading to the bathroom with the pregnancy test in hand. He felt giddy at the thought of getting him pregnant again. He felt happy watching Suho get angry at him for it.
That’s why humans can never live alone. He didn’t completely fail to understand Choi Suho’s heart. He couldn’t fully grasp that soul-deep loneliness—but he did understand wanting to be a better parent than one’s own.
Unlike the parents who gave birth to him for criminal purposes, Ji Haesu would be very good to his child—if that was what it took to capture Choi Suho’s heart and keep him bound. Or maybe there was no need to give birth at all—keeping him trapped in the hope of having a child wouldn’t be bad either. Choi Suho staying pregnant wouldn’t be so bad. And then, at the crucial moment—
—a miscarriage.
“AAAH!”
At the scream coming from the bathroom, Ji Haesu showed no surprise as he walked into the en-suite. There, collapsed in front of the toilet, was Choi Suho.
In his trembling hand was the pregnancy test.
