***
His body hurt so badly—fuck. Ever since meeting Ji Haesu, was there even a single day his body had been okay? Especially the parts that were hard to talk about; they burned and ached every single day, to the point where he was forcing himself to walk. Just like now.
“Fuck, pull it out.”
“Mm.”
You’re awake and pretending not to be—fuck! Choi Suho felt a surge of rage boiling up inside him.
“Pull it out!”
I clearly stabbed you with a knife yesterday, and now you’re stabbing me with your dick, you bastard piece of shit! I only stabbed you once with a knife, but didn’t you stab me several times with your dick? And it wasn’t just that. Every time something happened, you beat me with your fists, kicked me with your feet! You fed me drugs!
“What the fuck is this, shit!”
He struggled desperately to get away from Ji Haesu, but when he looked to see why his arms wouldn’t move, that bastard had tightly wrapped his wrists and tied them to the bedpost. The moment he saw his bound wrists, the image of himself tied up with cable ties yesterday overlapped—and over that, the memory of him being forced flat on the ground at the funeral, in front of everyone, repeatedly shouting in humiliation, I’m sorry for being born, I’m sorry for being born, came flooding back.
At that instant, he couldn’t breathe, and his body went rigid.
Everyone is laughing at me.
—Why was he even born?
—He should’ve just died together with Choi Juho.
—He should’ve died.
—He doesn’t even know why Chairman Jang Yuguk doted on him, yet look at him acting pleased.
—That child’s very birth is a sin.
—He shouldn’t have been born.
—All he did was cause trouble for everyone just by being born.
The murmured voices surrounding him wrapped around his ears.
Stop it, stop it! He wanted to clutch his ears and scream, but his stepmother pressed his head down with the sole of her shoe, and beneath her foot, he couldn’t do anything at all.
Then, at that moment, there was a hand that lifted him up. There was a large hand that wrapped around him from behind and covered his eyes.
“Forget people like that.”
“Hh…….”
“A reason for being born? Don’t assign meaning to that kind of bullshit. You were just born, that’s all.”
Ji Haesu’s gentle voice, for no reason at all, wrapped itself around Suho’s heart. The same guy who shoved his cock into Suho’s ass at will and fell asleep—yet at times like this, he somehow understood Suho’s heart so well……
“Don’t cry because of people like that, Suho.”
“Hhng.”
Choi Suho’s mouth twisted as tears fell in heavy drops. His lips parted, trembling, and a voice soaked in tears spilled out.
“Dad… I couldn’t go to your wake. I couldn’t even say goodbye to you one last time……”
“Then we can go to your grave together later.”
The guy who beat him so brutally at Do Si-in’s request, raped him to death, and colluded in killing his father—why did those words feel comforting? The sheer contradiction of it made a laugh slip out on its own.
“Fuck… you’re the one who made me like this……”
Ji Haesu pressed his mouth close to Suho’s ear and whispered.
“No, Suho.”
Choi Suho’s eyes snapped wide open.
“It’s because of you, Suho.”
If there were an escalator that could take you to hell and heaven at the same time, it would be Ji Haesu’s tongue.
“Your father died because of the trashy things you did—are you upset if I say it’s not my fault?”
“You fucking bastard! Did you really have to do it like that?”
When Choi Suho turned around and glared at him with eyes blazing red, Ji Haesu went, “Hmm.”
“You might not believe me, but it wasn’t what I intended. I had another method in mind—this was Jang Jihyeok’s intention. It’s true.”
Choi Suho’s body trembled violently with shame and humiliation, and with the sense of betrayal from being unable to believe the reality of his father’s death.
“I really didn’t know anything. I just do what the client tells me to do. This was something Jang Jihyeok and his brothers did in secret.”
“…Then tell me this too. The will—was that also?”
“Yes.”
Having decided to torment only him and love him in his own way, it became easier to be bold with what he revealed. Don’t let yourself be ruined because of bastards like that. If you’re going to be ruined, be ruined by me. And be saved by me. Only because of me. And forget about Do Si-in, too.
“Really? I can trust you……?”
“I follow only the client’s behavioral instructions when I do this work. The client asked for your father to be killed in the same way.”
Choi Suho squeezed his eyes shut. Mixing lies and truth just right, Ji Haesu stroked Suho’s cheek as he leaned into his words, whispering in a sweet tone.
“Suho, let’s……”
Now it’s us. Suho and Ji Haesu—no, Yoo XX.
I want to spend my whole life with you. Because you look pretty appealing to me.
As he drew a breath to say that, Choi Suho turned his head and muttered,
“If the only requests left are rape and miscarriage, then hurry up, do them, and get the fuck out.”
“……”
Si-in. Si-in was still there. Not because he had feelings left for him, but because, morally, he needed to apologize. How could he ever hope for Si-in’s love? Someone like him. Someone who deserved to die.
“Tell Si-in I was wrong and……”
Choi Suho buried his face into Ji Haesu’s solid arm like a man out of his mind and spoke in a powerless voice.
“No one wants me anyway…… Ah!”
At that moment, Ji Haesu grabbed Choi Suho’s waist and slammed upward.
“Get out? You want me to get out?”
“Agh!”
Because he thrust in like the first time he raped him, without any lubricant, the sensation of dry, parched inner walls grinding against his cock made Choi Suho kick his legs frantically.
“It hurts! I said it hurts! Hhng.”
Ji Haesu grabbed Choi Suho’s head tightly and pressed it down as he whispered.
“No. I’m not leaving—I’m giving up the request.”
“What? What do you mean……!”
Not understanding what was happening, Choi Suho tried to turn around, but Ji Haesu yanked his cock out violently. The pain of living flesh being torn open forced Suho’s mouth wide, saliva streaming down.
It hurt so much. The pain of his lower body being split open combined with the pain of his chest being gouged out, making his entire body feel like it was being trampled underfoot as he curled in on himself. Held tightly while his body was turned on its side, he couldn’t even escape as Ji Haesu slammed into that place again and again with loud, pounding sounds—he could only be fucked like that.
“Hahk! Ngh!”
“You can be cherished by me without even being gang-raped—so why are you giving that up?”
“Agh! Ah! I—I don’t want it……!”
“We could live a pretty good life together, Suho. Maybe even become good parents. So why! Why!”
Ji Haesu’s voice rose oppressively as his hip movements sped up and grew more forceful.
With each brutal thrust, Suho’s upper body jerked violently.
“Haah, ah!”
He hated this feeling—this sensation of being forced to feel pleasure by having his prostate pressed. It was rape, yet it made him feel as if it wasn’t rape, and he hated it so much that tears poured endlessly from Choi Suho’s bruised eyes.
But there was no one left in this world who would comfort him, empathize with him, or grieve for him.
That realization struck Choi Suho straight in the chest. It hurt so badly that tears flowed, like when he was a child sending his father away on a weekend.
“Hhng, ah, no, I don’t want it, I don’t……”
“Get pregnant.”
“Anyway—hah, Yoo……!”
“Yeah. And then have a miscarriage.”
As Ji Haesu wrapped an arm around Choi Suho’s shoulder and pulled him down, he plunged in deeply and whispered,
“And then get pregnant again. You’re an Omega anyway—what does it matter?”
At his words—that he’d chase him to the ends of the earth and get him pregnant—Suho thought, for the first time, that maybe only death would truly end this.
“Why? Thinking of dying? Go ahead and die. I’ll fuck your corpse and get you pregnant. Or I’ll chase you all the way into the afterlife, get you pregnant there, and make sure we become parents together. I really need to become a parent now.”
“You crazy bastard!”
As if he’d read Suho’s thoughts, Ji Haesu’s actions sent chills down his spine, and when Suho thrashed wildly, Ji Haesu bared his teeth and laughed.
“So just behave and submit, get pregnant, and let’s live together, have kids. Okay?”
“Weren’t you the one saying trash should be punished like trash, you son of a bitch!”
Far from feeling grateful for Ji Haesu’s changed attitude compared to the past, Choi Suho just wanted to escape from here immediately.
“You’ll get that punishment too—and get pregnant, and give birth to a child.”
“What kind of insane bastard is this—ah……! Hhng.”
Thrust.
Pressing the sensitive spot hard with the head of his cock made Suho’s cock stand straight up. The glans—only a trace left of when he’d been an Alpha—swelled slightly, leaking pre-cum that made it slick and shiny. When Ji Haesu reached out and stroked the tip, a sweet sound slipped out between Suho’s teeth.
“Hhng…….”
His eyelids flipped back, whites showing, lips trembling violently.
A pleasure he never wanted arrived. His mind rejected it, but his body accepted it—a bizarre phenomenon unfolding.
“Forget Si-in.”
He couldn’t stand hearing Do Si-in’s name anymore.Â
I’m cherishing you this much, indulging you like this—how dare you still not forget the client and say you’re going back to him? I’m giving up the request for you, and I’ve returned—or am about to return—all the money the client gave me, and yet you……!!
I’m the one trying to love you when everyone else has already abandoned you—so why are you……!
“Haah, ahhng. I—I forgot……!”
It was clearly different from before. Ji Haesu, who was sensitive to other people’s emotions, could tell instantly. If before it had been love and regret clinging to Do Si-in, now it was foolish emotions like atonement and obligation taking the lead.
Even so, there was absolutely no way Do Si-in would ever accept Choi Suho anyway.
