“Just hang out for a bit.”
“Where are you going?”
Kessler, who I thought would be stuck to my side the whole game, left to handle his own business.
‘Did he feel threatened, thinking I’d get a job before him?’
Judging by the serious look on his face, he clearly had a reason.
As I watched his back disappearing from the hall, I grabbed a seat at a table and filled up on one of the safety-certified cupcakes.
It was free time until the first quest opened at Quest Time.
“No need to rush. Once the first quest starts, corpses will be showing up in droves.”
With some time to spare, I decided to roam the castle and see what had changed. Honestly, I was curious how the skeletons I used to hang out with were doing.
The skeletons I ran into during my walk around the castle hadn’t changed—though they didn’t recognize me anymore. The Byeonhogol Five Brothers were still haggling fiercely with customers, and the cleaning skeleton was sweeping the hallway with the same manic enthusiasm as ever.
Even the mischievous ghosts who used to stick out their tongues at me as they followed me around were still the same.
The third-floor hallway, where I used to frolic freely as a fox, was still impassable in human form, just like before. Some fox players had tried to cross the obstacles to get to the end, but they returned empty-handed.
After a quick sweep of everything, I settled down on a window ledge. A sandy wind mixed with a musty, slightly sour stench, a gloomy sky, the eerie atmosphere… It was strange how comforting these dreary things felt.
Back then, I’d worked so hard to return to reality. Maybe it became a cherished memory precisely because of all that effort. Facing that old time again felt nostalgic.
Looking out the window, I spotted users grinding at the flag-pulling task. Among them stood a single man who clearly stood out—his face smudged with soot, holding sand centipedes tied together like dried fish: Kessler.
Somehow, he noticed me and looked up, locking eyes. Flashing a sly grin, he casually dumped the centipedes onto the ground.
Suddenly, the space lit up in pulsing red.
[System]: (EMERGENCY) Flesh-eating Bloodsucker Centipedes have been spotted inside the castle. Everyone, remain alert.
[System]: (EMERGENCY) Repeating the alert—Bloodsucker Centipedes have appeared inside the castle. All players, be on guard…
I had no idea what the hell he was up to… but this was clearly the beginning of some kind of disruption. No, seriously—where the hell did he even get those things?
“Whoa, is this a speedrun or what?”
The centipedes spread like wildfire, taking over the entire castle. Users chatting in groups scattered instantly, but those too busy browsing the cash shop with their characters just standing there got taken out immediately.
To make things worse, the new players who’d just started the game had such pitiful stamina that they could die of a heart attack just from the sudden appearance of a ghost. Their equipment consisted only of the default newbie t-shirt and club.
They tried to fight back with their clubs, but it was no use. The centipedes had already started gnawing at their ankles, crawling up fast along their bones.
Player corpse discovered: 1/10
Player corpse discovered: 2/10
Player corpse discovered: 3/10
…
Player corpse discovered: 10/10
Thanks to that, my job quest finished in no time. It progressed so quickly that the quest window couldn’t even disappear before the next message popped up.
[!!! First Job Quest Complete!
Go to Undertaker JukGol and report your success.]
I was planning to take it easy since it was the first day, but why the hell did that guy have to stir up trouble?
I guess I wasn’t fated for rest. I was on my way to JukGol in the cremation chamber, trying to avoid the now well-fed, plump centipedes who’d gorged themselves on beginner players—
[System]: Player ‘Kessler’ has proposed to you. Do you accept?
…What the hell now?
In the middle of this apocalyptic chaos with bodies piling up everywhere, Kessler was standing there with a calm, sunny smile. Then he slowly started walking toward me.
With every step he took, there was a loud splat—the sound of centipedes being crushed under his feet. All around him, cries of “Help!” and screams of terror echoed.
“Will you marry me?”
[System]: Player ‘Kessler’ offers you a wedding ring.
It was a special ring with an option that boosted your defense by 5% when hunting or doing quests as a couple—part of the cash shop item set from the ‘Deluxe Wedding Package’ that only became available after completing a quest.
“A bloody wedding? When the hell did you even get the ring?”
“I did the prerequisite quests first.”
That was exactly what I was wondering. To buy that wedding ring, you had to complete a series of complicated prerequisite quests. How did he finish them so fast? Well, he did help develop the game, so of course he’d know all the tricks…
“…You already collected five rubies and the Vow of Love that fast?”
“I wanted to be your number one husband, baby fox.”
Seriously? I was speechless. But even thinking it over, his speed was bizarre.
“Wait—did you log in using your top-ranked account from the Alpha or Beta tests? Did you trade it in for a fox photo or something?”
“Nope. You wanted a fresh start, so I turned on fresh start mode too.”
“Then where did you get the rubies? They’re expensive, you know.”
At that, Kessler clamped his mouth shut. I didn’t press further, instead focusing on a system prompt that happened to pop up.
[System]: Hold on! Marriage is a serious commitment! Divorce takes a minimum of 4 weeks. To prevent marriage fraud, please check your partner’s financial status before proceeding.
[System]: Would you like to view your partner’s financial status? Yes / No
[System]: Your viewing history will be shared with your partner. For a smooth married life, please view with mutual consent.
“I’m taking a quick look, Kessler.”
They say a married couple becomes one. Without hesitation, I pressed the button to check.
Current Financial Status of Player Kessler
—Real Estate: None
—Job: None
—Bank Loan Collateral: 30 million won (Annual Interest Rate: 5%)
—Special Note: This player took out a loan using their own life as collateral.
Seriously? I know we’re playing in chill mode, but is this how you just throw your game away?
“I love you, even with my life on the line.”
Kessler, having seen that I checked his financial status, actually had the nerve to spew that line.
If we got married, we’d be responsible for repaying that 30 million won debt together. And he didn’t even have a job. So, basically, a marriage built on nothing but love and debt.
“Well, I guess we can pay it off together.”
[System]: You have accepted the proposal. The wedding will begin shortly in the plaza. Dress up nicely and welcome your guests.
Petals started fluttering across the battlefield littered with corpses, with centipedes still running wild.
[System]: Would you like to wear a dress?
“What dress?! Just put it on!”
Kessler was already dressed in a tux, so I hurried to get dressed as well. I still had no clue why he got the tux while I ended up in a dress, but anyway—skeleton musicians came rushing in from somewhere, hastily taking their spots and beginning to play elegant wedding music.
[System]: (Global) The wedding of ‘Kessler’ and ‘Yeo Woo-rim’ will begin shortly. All guests, please gather in the plaza!
“What the hell? A sudden wedding?!”
Parties in the middle of questing dropped everything and ran over after seeing the global announcement.
“Nice dress!”
“You look beautiful!”
In this game, it was sort of an unspoken rule that you’d get married if you had a partner, even if you weren’t romantically involved, just for the stat boost in defense. So the current situation wasn’t that shocking.
“Damn, but look at all the blood on the ground… and those centipedes are fat now.”
With Undertaker skeleton officiating, the ceremony began with the usual ritual lines.
—Does the groom promise to love the bride until the bones of skeletons wear out?
“Yep.”
“Yes.”
Both of us answered at the same time, each claiming to be the groom. Undertaker skeleton shook his head side to side in visible confusion. Then, after letting out a series of gravelly “gol-gol-gol” noises, he gave a firm nod and declared:
—Double the answers, double the love.
A philosophical conclusion, in his own way.
—Now, bride, do you love the groom?
“Yep.”
“Me too.”
Kessler answered again, so I just reflexively followed suit. A giant heart suddenly burst out of Undertaker Skeleton’s head.
—Wedding complete!
The exit music began to play.
Guests who had brought barely any money or just a piece of barley bread as wedding gifts had been waiting for this moment—the start of the festival.
“Hell yeah! Time for the after-party!”
A disco ball appeared from out of nowhere and began spinning, exciting music blaring through the area. Gift packages for the guests started popping out here and there.
Users wielding their basic clubs smashed open the gift boxes like party games. Expensive potions spilled out in heaps from the exploding boxes, and players lunged to grab them like a feeding frenzy.
“Ugh, fuck… Gimme that! I hit it the most!”
As greed piled up quickly, the wedding reception devolved into chaos in a blink.
Gift boxes bloomed on top of the corpses of users who had been killed by centipedes. Players smashed them for loot, which sparked disputes over ownership, which turned into physical fights. Stuffed and dozing flesh-eating centipedes got their tails stepped on and, waking in rage, bit and killed the players who had fallen over.
New corpses began piling atop the old ones. Because it was Squad Mode, the death of teammates only intensified everyone’s rage, expanding the disaster even further.
Amid the bloody brawl for rare items, one desperate guest—on the verge of dying—ripped open the most expensive potion and chugged it. The moment others noticed, fury exploded again.
“You crazy bastard! We’re splitting that! Why the hell is a lowbie like you drinking that elixir?!”
“Exactly! Should’ve just re-rolled! You could live a month off selling that! You know what? Screw it—kill this selfish fucker! Worthless, greedy idiot!”
While hell broke loose in hand-to-hand combat, Kessler—still focused only on me—held out a bright bouquet of desert flowers he must’ve prepared ahead of time.
“I love you. I’m clocking out now.”
Then he kissed me lightly on the forehead. The ceremony was over, and now he was heading home.
