#30
“What’s this, why aren’t you taking my side today?”
“…Huh? Ah, that PD is really a bad guy. Should I pluck all his hair out for you?”
“Pfft, he doesn’t have much hair to begin with, so if you pluck it all out, he might cry.”
“Haha…”
Even though Hajun didn’t want to show his emotions, things weren’t going as he wished. Even to his own ears, his voice couldn’t help but sound dejected. Perhaps sensing something different from usual, the speaker suddenly went quiet.
At this rate, everyone would notice. While he was belatedly fumbling for an excuse, Imun broke the silence.
“Hyung, I want to see your face. Can we video call?”
The sky was already dark enough to see stars. If he showed his face on screen now, he’d obviously look like a ghost. He looked around briefly for a light source. After spotting a street lamp and bench a short distance away, Hajun moved towards them.
He positioned the street lamp behind his phone to avoid backlighting. This should be okay. After checking his features bathed in orange light, he called Imun for a video chat.
Sure enough, as soon as the screen connected, Imun frowned. “See, the surroundings are too dark, I didn’t want to video call.” Hajun smiled awkwardly and made excuses, but Imun’s face, far from improving, gradually grew colder. The increasingly chilly atmosphere was quite disconcerting.
“What’s wrong… Did something happen?”
“Hyung… have you been crying? …Why?”
“Ah.” Hajun unconsciously confirmed it and scratched his cheek. He never dreamed his crying would be so easily discovered. What should he answer? While searching for appropriate words and rolling his eyes, Imun’s expression hardened and he scowled deeply.
“Did someone hit you… or bully you? Nothing like that, right?”
“No! With my height and size, how could I get beaten up?”
His tone was rough, almost like a growl. Startled, Hajun vehemently denied it and then zoomed in on himself on the screen. He wondered if his eyes were swollen enough to cause such a strange misunderstanding, but they weren’t particularly so.
He could be in a book of extraordinary people. Amazed at Imun’s exceptional perceptiveness that surpassed normalcy, Hajun burst into incredulous laughter. He wondered what kind of impression Imun usually had of him to make such a cute remark.
“It’s fine, so don’t frown. You’ll get wrinkles on that pretty face.”
“…Stop crying all over the place, Hyung. Who do you think I’m worried about right now?”
Imun, who had been constantly moving his lips, silently exhaled a long breath. As if he couldn’t easily dismiss his suspicions, his brow remained stubbornly furrowed.
“Why are you taking a walk?”
“What do you mean why? Does one need a special reason to take a walk? Just… felt stuffy.”
“I see. Aren’t you cold?”
“No, it’s just right. How about there?”
“Here too. If only I had time, it would be nice to go to Han River with you.”
The usual flirting that never failed to start was especially welcome today. “Right, I’d like to visit Han River sometime too.” Hajun went along with Imun’s words and acted naturally for quite a while. His efforts seemed to bear fruit as the corners of Imun’s mouth gradually lifted, but then another deep sigh escaped.
“What’s with the sigh?”
“…Nothing.”
“Why, what is it?”
“…I just feel suffocated too. My chest feels tight.”
As if giving up on smiling, Imun openly wore a distressed expression. Hajun could guess what he wanted to say, but couldn’t pretend to know.
They silently gazed at each other for several minutes. Just as Hajun was saying goodbye to head back home, Imun showed a strained smile and earnestly implored:
“I’ll contact you before you go to sleep. Don’t cry alone again.”
***
The house was filled with a savory aroma. Standing blankly at the entrance out of guilt, Hajun got smacked on the back by his grandmother.
“Hurry up and come eat!” As if urging him in, his grandmother grabbed his arm and pulled him into the house. Glancing at her composed face, Hajun unconsciously frowned as he sat at the table. It was because the doenjang jjigae (soybean paste stew) placed on the table greeted him as expected.
Whenever Hajun was in a bad mood or feeling unwell, his grandmother always prepared Korean food. He freshly felt how much she had worried about him during his brief time away from home. He hurriedly swallowed the welling tears along with his rice.
Despite its impressive appearance and aroma, the doenjang jjigae tasted bland, but her heart alone was enough. After emptying his rice bowl in no time, he stuck close to his grandmother.
“Is that the singer you like?” “Yes, the one you bought the album for.” After chatting with her for hours while watching TV, Hajun, overcome with fatigue, returned to his room.
Even though the only exercise he’d done today was a light walk, his entire body felt heavy like a sponge soaked in water. As he collapsed onto his bed and was on the verge of falling asleep, he suddenly remembered Imun’s words. Rubbing his repeatedly closing eyelids, he turned his gaze to the window.
The sky had darkened and was filled with twinkling stars. Somewhere beyond that sky, across the sea, Imun would be there.
Despite saying he was tired. As Hajun was recalling how Imun had been busy worrying about him throughout the video call without showing any sign of fatigue, his phone screen lit up with a familiar name, as if summoned.
[I tried to finish as quickly as possible]
[Sorry for contacting you late]
[Please let me know if you’re still awake]
[I want to hear your voice, Hyung]
How can you be so consistent? It was as if Imun’s gentle voice overlapped with the messages. His emotions welled up beyond description.
He had never shared his pain with anyone in the world. He thought that while it might be pain to him, to the listener, it would just be gossip to talk about behind his back, or a burdensome load.
But Imun felt different. He was certain Imun would comfort him kindly. It was a vague yet certain, unwavering belief.
After staring at his phone for a long time, Hajun, as if possessed, made the call.
“I’m glad I’m not too late. Did you get home safely?”
“Of course, I was right in front of my house. But, why don’t you ask?”
“Ask what?”
“Why I was crying, that sort of thing…”
“…Would you tell me if I asked? You’ll talk when you want to talk, Hyung.”
Yes, with you it would be okay. Smiling faintly, he adjusted his position. After reminding himself that the person listening would be Imun, he wasn’t so afraid anymore.
Closing his eyes, he pulled out a box that had been tightly wrapped deep in his memories. His hand holding the phone suddenly tightened.
“…I want to talk about it now. Do you have time?”
***
The sound of rain beat hard against the car window. Hajun placed his hand on the glass and looked outside with an anxious face. Due to the heavy raindrops, the already dark outside scenery felt even more gloomy.
His father slightly raised the volume of the radio. ‘Due to the localized heavy rain in 10 years…’ The announcer’s dry voice flowed through the speaker. “Honey, be careful,” his mother, also seemingly uneasy, had been examining the outside for quite some time.
[Landslide Warning]
One of the many passing signs particularly caught his eye. Hajun leaned forward and gently massaged his father’s shoulders, who had been driving for a long time.
“They say there are many landslides. Drive slowly.”
“Why are you both like this? Don’t worry, I’m already driving slowly even without you saying it. Look, can you see the speedometer?”
His father laughed heartily as if telling them not to worry. “You’re right.” Just as Hajun was grinning and agreeing with him—
BANG! With a deafening impact, the car violently crashed into something. His body momentarily floated as if in zero gravity.
“Huk!”
When he regained consciousness, he was still in the car. He instinctively turned his head away from the powerful light pouring in from the front. What happened? Hajun squinted and hurriedly looked around.
The unidentifiable light was coming from the headlights of a van half-buried in soil beyond the windshield. The road was a mess with various metal fragments and mud mixed with rainwater.
The suddenly changed environment was difficult to comprehend. It felt as if someone had forcibly cut and reattached his memory. While blankly spacing out, a hammer-like pain penetrated the back of his head.
An accident, there’s been an accident. When he finally came to his senses and checked the front seats, the blood drained from his face.
His parents were unconscious, trapped in the crushed car body. Dark red blood continuously flowed along the glass fragments embedded throughout their bodies.
“Ah… ah… Dad! Mom!”
Tears fell heavily at the unbelievable situation. Afraid of making things worse, he couldn’t bring himself to touch his parents. He repeatedly called them in a shrill voice, but there was no response.
Just before fainting from the nauseating smell of blood, his mother raised her eyelids while coughing heavily.
“Mom… Mom! Wake up…!”
“…Hajun… Quickly, call… 119.”
As soon as she finished speaking, he turned around. “Where is it… Where is it!” After frantically searching the back seat for a while, he finally found the phone that had fallen under the seat. With trembling hands, he dialed and stutteringly explained the situation to the rescue team.
“I don’t know much either, I know it’s a mountain road, ah, just a moment…!”
After barely managing to report their location, he checked on his mother again. As if she had heard the entire call, she smiled faintly and then weakly shifted her body.
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
