95.
“Jae…”
It’s hard to understand how those two eyes, sparkling with anticipation, could look so innocent. Ryu Ho-yeon forced his uncooperative mouth to move and somehow managed to get out the rest of the words.
“Jae-won hyung…”
Wow. No matter how many times he said it, it never felt natural. Just saying “Mr. Choi Jae-won” was manageable, but calling someone five years younger than him “hyung”—calling him hyung!
But what could he do? No matter where this terrible “hyung sickness” came from, since the responsibility was his, all he could do was play along.
Ryu Ho-yeon decided to actively participate in Choi Jae-won’s inexplicable scam for at least six months to a year. Thinking of it as a way for Choi Jae-won to resolve whatever deep resentment he had.
His self-esteem had hit rock bottom, so paying this price for not trusting even Choi Jae-won shouldn’t feel too burdensome, but it was still awkward whenever he had to say it.
It had been about a month since they reunited at the airport, but Choi Jae-won still seemed to lack a sense of reality. You could tell by how he’d pinch his own cheek every so often.
Though he wasn’t sure how long it would take, Ryu Ho-yeon planned to pretend that his memory had suddenly returned only after Choi Jae-won’s psychological state had returned somewhat to normal.
He wanted to be an exemplary boyfriend from now on, one who accommodated all of Choi Jae-won’s wishes and didn’t get distracted by things like the world’s destruction or training results. But was this resolution too late?
“Haaa…”
Hmm. No. It didn’t seem too late after all.
Judging by how Choi Jae-won’s facial muscles melted into a dreamy flush at just the words “Jae-won hyung,” it was certain.
“Ho-yeon.”
This insolent young brat, how dare he call his elder, a full five years older, so casually by his name? The small but strong old-fashioned tendency living inside Ryu Ho-yeon momentarily flinched with indignation, but he managed to hold it in.
Don’t forget, Ryu Ho-yeon. This disrespectful scammer is Choi Jae-won. The very Choi Jae-won who waited for him as if every day was the same for ten years and combed through the entire world like searching for lice. No matter how disrespectful he was, Ryu Ho-yeon had to tolerate it.
“Don’t be too surprised when you hear this. So, um…”
Whatever grand story he was about to tell, Choi Jae-won gulped loudly while sending a pitifully moist gaze. Perhaps because the blush on his face was spread too widely, honestly… he looked like a complete pervert…
“Can I… k-kiss… give you just one kiss?”
Correction. He wasn’t just “like” a pervert; he was precisely a pervert in every sense.
To prevent any possible misunderstanding, let it be added that from Ryu Ho-yeon’s personal evaluation criteria, this wasn’t a flaw. Since he had to pretend to have lost his memory, he couldn’t freely express his affection as before or take the initiative to hold hands, so having a boyfriend who was a pervert actually made economic sense.
“Would you mind lowering your head a bit?”
“Huh?”
“I don’t think our lips will meet like this.”
“…”
After asking if he could give just one kiss, Choi Jae-won’s face turned so hot it seemed about to explode, as if he couldn’t bring himself to actually touch lips to lips and instead just fidgeted with the scarred cheek. It went beyond what could be generously called a blush.
Choi Jae-won quickly lowered his head. It was the perfect angle where their lips would meet if Ryu Ho-yeon raised his head.
A very long time ago, he had asked once. Before Ryu Ho-yeon left Choi Jae-won to save the world.
‘Jae-won. Why do you even like me?’
Choi Jae-won smiled softly with a somewhat shy expression, as if wondering why he would ask such a thing, and then gave his answer.
‘Because you’re special, hyung.’
‘Huh?’
‘You’re strong, beautiful… the most special person in this world. I was captivated at first sight. By the time I came to my senses, it was already beyond my control.’
Now Ryu Ho-yeon was no longer strong or beautiful.
“H-Ho-yeon… can I do it one more time?”
“…Go ahead.”
Choi Jae-won still loved Ryu Ho-yeon to the point of being unable to come to his senses. It might be a modest reward for lifting the Earth with its 7 billion humans from the brink of destruction, but for Ryu Ho-yeon, it was already miracle enough.
This kind of love was indeed worth saving the world for. This kind of love was indeed worth risking one’s life for.
“Say my name.”
“Mr. Choi Jae-won.”
“Mmm. Not like that.”
“…Jae-won hyung.”
Intoxicated by Ryu Ho-yeon calling his name, Choi Jae-won overlapped their breaths again without even asking. The sensation of lips touching his tongue tip was a little different from before. The upper lip, which had uneven marks as if stitches hadn’t been removed in time, was especially so.
Sensation seemed to have dulled a bit too. In the past, when he covered the lips like this and applied a little pressure, Ryu Ho-yeon’s shoulders would tremble automatically, but now he seemed to feel little excitement even when his lips were nibbled and sucked on.
Still, Choi Jae-won had no time to feel disappointed. Any hint of regret simply evaporated and disappeared in the dazzling presence of a living Ryu Ho-yeon.
Perhaps because he hadn’t grown accustomed to it yet, Ryu Ho-yeon seemed particularly awkward calling him hyung. Whenever he hesitantly stammered “Jae-won hyung,” it sent chills down Choi Jae-won’s spine.
It seemed that even with memory loss, his innate characteristics remained largely the same. Though he appeared somewhat more passive than before, his preference for being alone and his dislike of movement weren’t much different from before.
Choi Jae-won knew Ryu Ho-yeon well. Perhaps even better than Ryu Ho-yeon knew himself.
Having lived his entire life with a sense of belonging to a national institution, Ryu Ho-yeon was strangely weak to authoritative hierarchy. Of course, he himself actively contributed to the expanded reproduction of such traditional order.
(The above description was entirely Choi Jae-won’s tearful devotion trying to somehow positively express his loved one’s personality with academic and rhetorical embellishments. In simple terms, it just meant Ryu Ho-yeon was an old-fashioned traditionalist.)
Choi Jae-won wanted to thoroughly control Ryu Ho-yeon, who had lost his past memories and no longer loved him, from the subconscious level up.
Right now, he was going along with whatever Choi Jae-won said because the situation had developed so rapidly that he was still dazed, but what if later he started to wonder, “Why am I doing this?” What if he pushed Choi Jae-won away, saying, “I’m sorry, but you’re still a stranger to me. Unless my memory returns, I’d prefer to just be friends…”
“Ugh!”
“Ah! Sorry, I’m sorry. I accidentally put too much strength in my hand.”
“It’s fine.”
Even though Ryu Ho-yeon hadn’t said such things, just imagining it made Choi Jae-won feel frustrated and resentful enough to clench his fist. In this way, it wouldn’t be particularly difficult to forcibly confine Ryu Ho-yeon, whose physical strength had significantly decreased and who no longer had any usable abilities.
But that would be meaningless. Choi Jae-won wanted Ryu Ho-yeon to remain by his side voluntarily.
And to achieve that, he needed to correct Ryu Ho-yeon’s behavior from the subconscious level up, and the naturally occurring authority of being older by birth was quite an effective means of making Ryu Ho-yeon obey Choi Jae-won’s words.
“The sunshine is nice. Should we go for a walk?”
“…”
“You don’t feel like it?”
“…No.”
“Pfft, okay. Let’s just rest without going anywhere.”
Ryu Ho-yeon, who had been furtively gauging the situation with swollen lips, finally climbed back onto the bed with relief. Then, pulling the blanket up to his neck, he hesitated before blurting out:
“Um, hyung…”
“Yes?”
At this moment, all the various reasons Choi Jae-won had thought of seemed like mere excuses.
The fact that Ryu Ho-yeon, who had always been his superior, was directly calling him hyung with those lips, simply made his heart thrillingly flutter.
“Could you bring me the remote control…”
Although the formal speech was unfamiliar, even this was an errand they had done countless times before. It was clear that in the entire world, only Ryu Ho-yeon could ask the great Choi Jae-won to run such errands.
Choi Jae-won didn’t slack off and immediately brought the remote control from the table. Ryu Ho-yeon turned on the television right away and then muttered as if to himself, “…I can’t see.” Choi Jae-won immediately moved aside so as not to block his view. Only then did the furrowed brow unfold. Just like in those peaceful moments when they were twenty-nine and twenty-four.
‘Well, come to think of it, Ho-yeon hyung disappeared at twenty-nine and first appeared here three years ago, so he didn’t age during the period he was missing. So at most he’d be thirty-two? I’m thirty-three this year, so it’s fine to have him keep calling me hyung.’
It was a miraculous logic that could be called either ingenious or bizarre.
“Um, Jae-won hyung. Could you be a little quieter? It’s noisy and I can’t concentrate.”
“Yes, Ho-yeon. I’m sorry.”
What did it matter if their terms of address were reversed? Judging by the flow of conversation, the authority of being the elder had already lost all meaning, but the parties involved were still blind and deaf with abundant joy and love.
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
