48.
“Do I… really have to eat this?”
Nod, nod.
The small head full of determination moved vigorously up and down. It was only two days ago that he had confidently believed he would always listen to him even if he couldn’t fully understand him, but already he was in crisis. Choi Jae-won asked one last time with slight reluctance, “Surely not, right?”
“Why do you think not? Pick up your fork and knife already.”
“…Yes, hyung.”
But what could he do? It was too obvious to even mention that the person who fell in love first, the one who loved more, would always give in.
Until they left their lodging this morning, Berlin had been nothing short of paradise for Choi Jae-won. Above all, it was rightfully so because he could finally experience what he had so earnestly wished for—one bed, one bedroom—if only as a tantalizing trial version for a month.
When they retrieved the luggage that the headquarters staff had left at the lobby floor and went up to their assigned room, there was a king-size bed right in the middle of the room provided to guests who were pairs. It was about the size of a deluxe room in a decent hotel, with no separate spaces except the bathroom. The room was so small that you could clearly see what the other person was doing no matter where you were.
He had wondered why Lee Han-seo didn’t want to use spacious accommodations either at the Central Branch or here at the International Association, thinking “why is that, isn’t it uncomfortable?” But Choi Jae-won was the foolish one.
He had needlessly searched the entire floor when first entering. Unnecessarily large accommodations were useless. Besides, would Ryu Ho-yeon, already accustomed to spacious places, even consider moving back to an averagely sized, cramped lodging?
This morning when he woke up, strangely, Ryu Ho-yeon was already awake. Unaware that Choi Jae-won was up, he had Bluetooth earphones in both ears, completely immersed in travel vlogs he had bookmarked in advance.
‘Hyung, when did you wake up? Aren’t you tired? You must still be adjusting to the time difference.’
‘You’re up? Hurry and change your clothes. We have somewhere to go.’
Yesterday, their first full day in Berlin, they had toured various parts of the headquarters guided by Lee Han-seo and Park Woo-jun, so today it was time to unfold the tourist itinerary Ryu Ho-yeon had been wanting. They had already planned to go out, but seeing him waiting eagerly since dawn like a child waiting for Santa was just so cute… it really was…
“Okay. When I count one, two, three, we eat together.”
“Ugh…”
With the raw meat’s fishy smell touching his nose, Choi Jae-won shuddered and moaned as if in pain. On the end of the fork dangled a food that some food-exploring streamer Ryu Ho-yeon subscribed to had recommended as a must-try German specialty. It was called Mett brötchen. An appalling dish of finely minced raw pork served on bread. For Choi Jae-won, who had a weak stomach and picky palate, barely nibbling a few pieces of beef tartare or sashimi, this was far too high a hurdle to start their tour with.
“Hyung. I… I really can’t do this. Can’t we just order something normal like Schweinshaxe? You like pork knuckles, don’t you? I heard it’s amazing with beer, right?”
“Don’t exaggerate so much. Don’t they say that good medicine is bitter to the taste?”
“Wow, such a boomer…”
“What?”
“…”
Loving him is one thing, but being a boomer is another. Half of him probably wanted to try it, and the other half was hesitant to eat it alone. Ryu Ho-yeon delivered the final blow to Choi Jae-won, who looked almost soulless.
“Are you going to sit there like you’re at a funeral? What are you doing, not eating? Don’t tell me you’re refusing something I’m asking you to eat together? You?”
Between “refusing” and “you” there seemed to be some implied word. “Dare to.” Two syllables. Ryu Ho-yeon poked a bite-sized piece of food with his fork and brought it to Choi Jae-won’s mouth as if challenging him to refuse. This should have been a situation that Choi Jae-won had longed for so desperately that he wouldn’t even dare to dream of it, so he should have been overcome with happiness. If only what was on the end of that fork wasn’t finely minced raw pork, it certainly would have been.
“That’s too much, hyung…”
“Why don’t you open your mouth before I show you what’s really too much.”
“Ughh…”
Choi Jae-won’s tightly closed eyes eventually began to tremble. Ryu Ho-yeon secretly buried the satisfaction he felt deep in his heart. It was worth the effort of carefully selecting a menu that would terrify Choi Jae-won and make him absolutely refuse to eat.
Quite unfortunate for Choi Jae-won… but this situation… was Ryu Ho-yeon’s way of repaying the gratitude he felt toward Choi Jae-won. In his mind, Choi Jae-won was a strange creature who seemed happier the more he was mistreated and pushed around, so he had mistakenly concluded that tormenting him until he was satisfied would be a proper way to repay him. He planned to feed him raw pork for brunch and surströmming, fermented herring, for dinner. He had struggled to find a place that sold it.
“Hurry up. Say ‘ah.’ My arm’s getting tired.”
“Ah, just a moment. Let me prepare myself mentally, just prepare…”
“You’re twenty-three and still being childish with your picky eating. I’m disappointed.”
“You don’t even touch things like perilla leaves, garlic, or ginger. You said you dislike strong flavors… What’s that if not picky eating?”
“Of course that’s picky eating.”
“See!”
“But I’m allowed to be.”
“Why? Is there some law that says no picky eating at twenty-three but it’s allowed at twenty-eight?”
“Of course not.”
“Then…!”
Hmm, seeing him catch and pull at words with such a lively, cheerful tone, he must be mistreating him enough. Ryu Ho-yeon built up his unsolicited delusion even more and delivered the final blow.
“Are you and I the same?”
“Huh…”
“Do you really think that? Hmm?”
“…”
Choi Jae-won was beyond dumbfounded. But when that incredibly pretty face looked up at him with bright, beautiful eyes and asked again… it didn’t seem like a wrong statement. How could Ryu Ho-yeon and Choi Jae-won be the same? If someone were to ask what’s different, there wasn’t a specific answer to point to, but they were definitely different. If Ryu Ho-yeon asked with those pretty lips whether they were really the same, then they weren’t. Choi Jae-won shook his head as if enchanted.
“That’s a relief. At least my Guide isn’t stupid enough not to know such an obvious fact.”
“Yes, of course…”
“Then stop changing the subject and eat now.”
“Is it really okay to eat pork raw? What if I catch some disease or something?”
“No way. I’d be the one who loses the most if you can’t provide guiding. Would I feed something inedible to my own Guide?”
“Ugh… yes…”
There was no more room to escape. Choi Jae-won held his breath as hard as he could, hoping it might make his stomach less queasy, and opened his mouth wide. For someone who wouldn’t even eat uncanned ham without cooking it, this was the greatest ordeal of his life, but Choi Jae-won didn’t know yet. This was just brunch. He still had… surströmming waiting for dinner.
* * *
I really need to find a way somehow. A way to make Choi Jae-won stop the experiments.
There’s usually quite a difference in physical strength, but it doesn’t seem this drastically extreme. Since coming to Berlin, Choi Jae-won, who no longer had to lie on Dr. An’s examination table, was draining him completely, claiming he needed to provide guiding for an Esper who wasn’t even going into combat. Clearly, he was the one receiving guiding, but strangely, he was also the one getting exhausted. Was it more a mental issue than physical?
Still, the fact that he could push someone this hard was evidence that Choi Jae-won had excess physical strength and was healthy, so it was a positive sign.
After being smothered with more than enough guiding all over his body and washing with hot water, he felt pleasantly drowsy. Ryu Ho-yeon was nodding off like a sick chicken. Even through his half-closed vision, he could hear Choi Jae-won’s voice laughing faintly.
“Still… he’s like a baby at times like this… so cute…”
Choi Jae-won, who couldn’t dare to call the five-years-older man “cute” when he was fully conscious—the punishment for loving a small but powerful boomer—was busy pouring out all the words he had held back whenever Ryu Ho-yeon fell asleep.
And it wasn’t just his mouth and tongue that were busy. His hands were busy too. He had to meticulously apply body lotion on the soft skin without missing a spot, and properly fix the pajamas that had been carelessly put on. Choi Jae-won fussed over every detail, even adjusting the angle of the pillow Ryu Ho-yeon’s head was resting on, all while repeating “cute, cute.”
Ryu Ho-yeon was about to reproach him for calling an Esper as lofty as himself “cute” when he was five years younger, but he couldn’t overcome his heavy eyelids and drifted off to sleep.
Whether some magic was cast while applying the body lotion, strangely, his chest fluttered and tingled even though it wasn’t the first or second time experiencing that touch. It was a trembling caused by fresh excitement, but sadly, his rusty perception, never having properly experienced such feelings before, failed to accurately identify the nature of the emotion he was experiencing.
