When I arrived at the training grounds, the family’s regular knights who spotted me all stopped their training at once and greeted me. They were visibly tense, like new recruits who had been drilled into strict military discipline.
It made sense, considering that in the past, I had been the incarnation of jealousy. I envied the strength and stamina I couldn’t possess. Whenever I saw them confidently wielding their swords, training to their heart’s content, and looking satisfied, I wanted to crush them. No matter how much strength and stamina they overflowed with, they were all worthless beings who should prostrate themselves beneath my feet… something like that.
What a dark history. I’d rather just pass by quickly.
As I tried to walk past the training grounds, murmurs spread among the regular knights. I suppose they were amazed that I was disappearing quietly without causing any trouble.
If that’s what they’re expecting, I could give them what they want… but Luwen is watching, so I’ll let it slide. I need to show him my changed appearance, and I can’t waste time because of the regular knights. I moved forward, pretending not to hear as much as possible.
“Was it really true that he became gentle after nearly dying?”
“I bet my entire fortune on it being a false rumor…”
They even made bets? With my heart surging, I turned around to look back, and they all immediately assumed rigid postures and shut their mouths tight. Gulp. The surroundings became so quiet that I could hear someone swallowing their dry saliva.
“……”
I wanted to roar and demand who the hell made that bet. Wouldn’t it be normal to get angry this time?
But being conscious of those jewel-like black eyes, I couldn’t act according to my temper. Good guardians don’t get angry in front of children. Before opening my mouth, I only rolled my eyes to check on Luwen first. He was staring intently at the regular knights with sparkling eyes.
I spoke in a voice soft enough not to grate on Luwen’s ears.
“I suppose losing your entire fortune does cloud one’s judgment.”
Instead, I erased my expression and swept my gaze over the tense regular knights. None of them could meet my eyes and lowered their gazes. Words that can’t be said in front of someone shouldn’t be said behind their back either.
“We apologize, young master.”
The deputy knight commander stepped forward to take responsibility. I stared at him intently.
I can see his Adam’s apple bobbing. He’ll identify the culprit himself.
“Luwen.”
I turned my gaze to look at Luwen. Luwen, who had been blankly watching the regular knights, looked up at me. Being mindful of the angle of my lips, I spoke to him affectionately.
“Let’s go. Our business isn’t with them.”
“Yes.”
Even while following me, Luwen kept glancing back repeatedly.
He seems quite attached. I was planning to ask after meeting Dedric, but now might be better.
“Do you want to learn swordsmanship too, Luwen?”
When I asked, pretending not to know, Luwen’s head whipped toward me. It was so fast I worried he might get a crick in his neck.
He’ll say no, won’t he?
“…No.”
As expected. Luwen fidgeted with his fingers while still glancing at the regular knights who remained in rigid postures. He thinks that being greedy would damage Irene’s reputation.
No matter how I think about it, Luwen needs to be more childlike. If he wants something, he should wheedle for it, throw tantrums, and be greedy. The big carrot I had prepared was both a gift Luwen would love most and a means to teach the child that it’s okay to ask me for things.
“Really? You could learn if you wanted to.”
I casually let the words slip and leisurely walked toward the commander’s office. The footsteps that had been following directly behind took a bit more time to continue this time. Even without looking back, I could fully anticipate that Luwen was continuing to glance at the training grounds.
Eventually, when the commander’s office building came into view, the door burst open and Dedric came tumbling out.
That swaggering gait is still the same. That characteristic walk with toes pointing outward. I could tell it was Dedric even from a distance.
“Young master, it’s been a while since you came? I almost forgot your face.”
At his sarcastic tone, I let out an awkward laugh. Those powerful eyes looking at me felt somewhat burdensome.
Dedric was a commoner-born senior knight who had worked under father for a long time, and had been my swordsmanship instructor. It was unusual for most commoners talented with swords to remain as regular knights.
It was because his swordsmanship skills were outstanding, but I disliked this person. Three years ago, I thought he was the one who told father I had no talent for swords, causing him to lose interest in me.
After doing such a thing, how much must I have hated him for treating me so carelessly. He didn’t hesitate to pat my head as he pleased, put his arm around my shoulders, and even poke my cheeks. He looked at me as if I were his own nephew.
Even when I threw fits because I hated it, there was no change in Dedric’s attitude. Since father was on this person’s side too, there was no way to deal with it. Since I couldn’t win by force either, I eventually gave up at some point.
But now that I’ve somehow matured and think about it, I realize he was the only person who treated me like a normal child. He gave me quite affectionate advice too. Most importantly, even though he had realized my limitations early on, he even created a swordsmanship style for me who couldn’t give up on the sword despite knowing my limits. It wasn’t to my taste, but still.
And now that my past resentment has faded, objectively speaking, Dedric would be a good instructor for Luwen, which is why I came here with the child.
“Dedric, it’s been a long-“
Before I could even finish my greeting, Dedric suddenly began feeling and kneading my arms. Then he thoroughly examined my waist and legs before shaking his head with a sigh.
“Your muscles are still terrible, and you haven’t done any separate stamina training? It seems like you’ve lost even more muscle than the last time I saw you.”
Since I didn’t want to learn swordsmanship from Dedric and didn’t even come to the training grounds, he still thinks he’s my instructor. Oh, come to think of it, didn’t I notify him? Since he was staying at the mansion instead of going out, I thought he understood.
Well, if he still cares about me when I’ve come asking for a favor, that’s something to be grateful for. I calmly responded to his words. Shamelessly, as if nothing had happened.
“I was sick for a few days. I lost so much weight that my clothes became loose.”
“Again? I keep telling you to kill that temper of yours. That’s all from anger-induced illness. Because you have so much anger, you can’t sleep well either. Because you can’t sleep, your stamina drops. I’ve told you countless times it’s a vicious cycle.”
Anger-induced illness… that’s certainly not entirely wrong either, but what can I do about having a weak body? Insomnia is like a chronic condition that’s followed me from my previous life.
There’s no point in saying otherwise since he’ll just stubbornly argue, so I should just brush it off.
“That’s why I’m trying to let go of my greed now too. I’ve given up on gaining father’s recognition. It’s beyond what I can control anyway. I have no talent for swords.”
Dedric looked at me with pitying eyes as I spoke matter-of-factly. Requests from pitiful people are hard to refuse by nature.
“As I’ve said before, everyone has different areas they’re good at. Just because you have no talent for swords doesn’t mean you become a useless person, young master.”
Dedric spoke in a quite affectionate tone while patting my head.
“I wonder. Is that really so.”
I smiled bitterly and pushed away Dedric’s wrist. The knight who pitied me withdrew his hand obediently with a shallow sigh.
Actually, I knew Dedric’s intention in telling father that I had no talent for swordsmanship. Rather than dedicating myself to swordsmanship that was inferior to the family’s regular knights no matter how hard I tried, he advised that it would be better to find and nurture my talents. Because the Duke he knew was that kind of person.
However, what he didn’t know was the fact that father hated me. The news that I had no talent for swordsmanship became an excuse to ignore the son of a woman he detested terribly without feeling guilty. That’s why he feels indebted to me.
Now, Dedric. I’ll give you a chance to shake off that sense of debt.
“By the way, I’m cold. Are you going to keep me standing here?”
My body was getting cold from the harsh winter wind. If I’m this cold, how much colder must Luwen be? When I gave him an obvious hint, Dedric hurried.
“Oh my. Let’s go in quickly.”
Dedric immediately took me to the commander’s office. Then, as soon as I sat down, he handed me a rough cup with steam gently rising from it.
While I warmed my frozen hands on the heated cup, Dedric asked Luwen.
“Are you cold too, little one? Would you like some warm tea?”
“I’m fine.”
Luwen’s eyes were bright and curious as he stood beside me, looking around eagerly. Judging by how his shoulders were twitching, he seemed restless with wanting to explore.
Look at that, he likes it so much. I’m definitely going to make you say you want to learn swordsmanship with your own mouth.
In the original work, there was a description of Luwen as a swordsmanship genius who couldn’t fully bloom his talents. This was because he got severely injured while recklessly practicing swordsmanship alone, resulting in a disability where he couldn’t properly put strength into his left arm.
Even so, he reached a level where he could handle sword energy with just his right arm. If he learns properly step by step from now on, there’s no telling how strong he could become.
If he’s going to recklessly learn swordsmanship on his own anyway, I’d rather provide him with a good instructor with my own hands so he can learn proper swordsmanship. If his talents bloom, Luwen’s survival probability will increase.
Of course, I won’t just stand by and let anything similar to the scenes I saw in the original work be recreated, but you never know. Plans are just plans, after all. Variables can arise at any time, so it’s right to prepare for everything possible. That’s why winning over Dedric must succeed, and I was confident.
Hey, I just notice some typo in this chapter. When the Knight talking about MC someone say ‘she’ and not him. And when the Knight say sorry it say ‘young miss’ not ‘young master’ and dedric too say ‘young miss’ when he greet MC.
Fixed, thank you so much Cherry if you have seen any other mistakes throughout your reading please do so. Thankies!