Chapter 158
Gasping breaths heating the lower abdomen intensely—he would slip his hand under the clothes, unable to resist. This is what happens when you carelessly leave buttons undone. Like a warning, he could even lick away flowing tears while murmuring this.
If he savored the trembling reactions, he’d surely want to touch more.
He felt thirsty. Already, disheveled Fei had been appearing in his dreams every night. Hadn’t he made a mistake once because of that? These thoughts needed to stop.
Luwen consciously redirected his thoughts while caressing his own nape.
‘If I follow my desires, he’ll be frightened. He’ll fear me.’
If he wanted to keep holding the defenseless Fei who leaned against him, he had to stop himself.
He had decided to serve him as his master, to be loyal to him. He’d chosen to protect him as his guard. So he shouldn’t have these thoughts. This would betray Fei who trusted him.
But… the sinful fantasies occupying his mind betrayed his will and kept emerging. Sometimes during meals, sometimes when facing him half-awake, sometimes when catching sight of his exposed nape, and sometimes when he brightly smiled and wished him goodnight.
Though he knew he should stop, he couldn’t cease his beastly fantasies of violating him. Afterward, he’d become unbearable and would have to lock himself in his room to relieve himself or dispel his urges through intense training.
‘At this rate, he’ll eventually find out. Be rational.’
What servant dares harbor desires for their master? One step forward and everything could collapse. If there was even the slightest risk of that, Luwen would never take that step.
“That’s impossible. Young master, you don’t know me.”
“People’s hearts are bound to change.”
Fei muttered, turning his head.
“…I won’t change.”
His delayed answer came because he knew himself to be already changed by different emotions. This too could be called change.
* * *
Completely restored to normal, peaceful days flowed by quietly. I reopened the clinic, and Luwen came to work with me, ate lunch, and went to train. Then he would return around closing time and we’d go back to the mansion—exactly the same as before he entered the academy.
Actually, things shouldn’t be peaceful. Two days ago, Cromwell officially “escorted”—no, officially “guarded”—the First Prince into the palace.
I wasn’t sure how things were unfolding in the palace, but I hadn’t received any word yet. I could find out if I wanted to, but this was now the Second Prince’s battle. There was no need for me to step in.
Figuring they would call for me when needed, I was maintaining my daily routine when an unexpected visitor came looking for me. When I called for the next patient, Alteo entered awkwardly.
“H-hello.”
He looked sheepish, scratching the back of his head while watching my reaction. I narrowed my eyes at the unwelcome face.
“We’re not exactly on meeting terms, are we?”
“There’s been an issue with our contract, so I came to find you.”
He spoke hurriedly, perhaps anticipating I might chase him away. My contract with Alteo was merely like an insurance policy—useful if available, but not significant enough to change the game if absent.
“I need your help…”
So I had no reason to grant his request.
Perhaps knowing he was at a disadvantage, despite my cold gaze, Alteo hesitantly approached.
“H-honestly, I helped things go well between you and Luwen, didn’t I?”
What’s going well? As I frowned, Alteo’s eyes darted around. Then, as if realizing something shocking, his eyes widened.
“Don’t tell me you’re still not together?”
“That’s my private life, so mind your own business.”
“W-wait. Why haven’t you made progress yet?”
Why is he so interested in other people’s relationships? I was adapting and doing fine, and now he’s stirring things up.
“I’ll help you.”
“With what?”
“I told you before. If you need counseling, I’ll help you anytime.”
I gave Alteo a disapproving look. I didn’t like how transparent his scheming was.
Mentioning Luwen was his tactic. If things had gone well, I’d be in a good mood and might acknowledge his contribution when we were quarantined together in the dormitory. Conversely, if there was no progress, he planned to win my favor by offering help, as he was doing now. Then in return, he’d ask for what he wanted.
‘He calculated everything before barging in.’
Otherwise, knowing it wouldn’t benefit him to fall out of my favor, he wouldn’t have come so forcefully.
Honestly, the timing wasn’t bad. It was true that our relationship was stagnating.
I still lacked courage, and Luwen remained simply straightforward. So time was passing without me properly seducing him.
I’d considered physical contact, but we already touched each other more than enough. From holding hands to leaning on shoulders or chests—these were ordinary for us. Luwen had always picked me up and carried me in his arms, so nothing would feel new.
‘Plus, I asked him to forget that time we crossed the line, considering it just nursing… How could that work?’
Dates were the same. Since we’d spent so much time together since childhood, this wasn’t special either. Occasionally my sister joined us, but those instances were rare enough to be considered “special.”
Yet I couldn’t just charge at him with my lower half excited. I’m not a pervert. And even if I did, I doubted it would work. I’d be lucky if the pure and innocent Luwen didn’t recoil in disgust.
So Alteo’s offer was tempting.
‘Back then I didn’t want outsiders involved, but…’
Now the situation was different.
Still, I didn’t want to play into his obvious scheme. I’m a bit twisted and didn’t want to lose the upper hand.
‘Let’s change the venue first.’
I sent Alteo to my office. Seeming to sense I wasn’t completely dismissing him, he must have decided it was beneficial to follow my instructions. He left the examination room saying I must come.
‘I was planning to let Taran handle patients anyway.’
Most of the remaining patients were follow-ups, and Taran’s skills were sufficient to handle them alone.
“If you find anything difficult or confusing while treating patients, come ask me in the office anytime.”
“Yes! Leave it to me!”
Still concerned, I emphasized this, and Taran smiled brightly, showing his gums. He seemed pleased to be entrusted with patients. His confidence was admirable.
“If you do well today, I’ll let you handle a full day next time. The important thing is never to guess at treatments when you’re unsure.”
“Of course. I can do this well.”
Despite his reassuring answer, I was still anxious about leaving him alone, so I watched as he treated the first patient. He was competent and neat. Not even nervous, he displayed his usual skills.
I observed him with two more patients until I was confident he could manage alone, then leisurely made my way to the office.
Alteo, who had been standing in the corner of the office, noticeably relaxed when he saw me and greeted me.
“You’re here.”
“Yes.”
He didn’t even ask why I was late. He followed me with his eyes, and only after I sat in my chair and nodded in permission did he sit across from me.
“Convince me.”
Swallowing hard, Alteo took a deep breath as if organizing his thoughts, then began.
“If what you’ve tried so far hasn’t worked, wouldn’t it be the same going forward? To change direction, nothing is as effective as another person’s advice.”
“Are you suggesting I couldn’t come up with ideas that would occur to you?”
“Of course not. Your wisdom far exceeds my dull mind. However, the emotion of love sometimes clouds rational thinking. Often what’s obvious to an observer remains imperceptible to the person involved.”
His shameless flattery reminded me how obsessed Alteo was with success. To think he would use such blatant flattery on me of all people. He did so without hesitation, knowing it wouldn’t work.
But I did agree with some of his points. I couldn’t view Luwen from a distance, so I lacked objectivity.
“I’m offering to help with that. Of course, with time, you would find the answers yourself, but I can accelerate that process.”
Something must have gone wrong for Alteo to appear so desperate. I could sense his urgency as he tried to connect his thoughts and persuade me.
“Let me hear what you want in return before I decide.”
“Please obtain past exam materials from the imperial palace selection tests for me.”
I tilted my head in confusion. His attitude was too serious for this to be a joke. So his real purpose in seeking me out was for these exam materials?
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
