The Villain Wants to Change Genres

Chapter 135

‘Perhaps Luwen also…’

It might not be yet. But I could see the possibility. Luwen’s current behavior was evidence of that.

‘But I can’t confess first.’

Even if Luwen accepted me, on days when I heard unwelcome voices like yesterday, I would doubt him. I would be unable to believe he truly loved me and would want to verify it.

Would such incidents really happen just once or twice?

‘No. Hiding my feelings is the right choice.’

It would be a future where both of us became unhappy. However, if we continued like this, our relationship wouldn’t change.

While pondering if there was some solution, I realized I couldn’t even properly give up on Luwen for his happiness.

‘Selfish bastard.’

Perhaps I never intended to in the first place. I was just saying I should give up, while in truth I was only scheming to keep him by my side.

‘I would probably use any means necessary to hold onto Luwen if someone else tried to stand beside him.’

Even if it meant harming myself. Because if I got hurt, only I would suffer. I’d want to make him unable to take his eyes off me. I would feel reassured seeing Luwen worry about me, thinking I could stay by his side a little longer.

This was not a particularly welcome future either.

“Young master… you shouldn’t remove your clothes so carelessly.”

After seeming to contemplate, Luwen bent over as if he’d made a decision. Even as he draped my shirt over my shoulders, he couldn’t look at me directly. Because of this, the awkwardly placed shirt slipped down, but Luwen had already turned his back.

As I stared at his back, I remembered washing in the pond. Back then, it was just a joke so I had completely forgotten, but I wondered if Luwen had been conscious of me even then.

Curious, I repeated the words I had once said jokingly.

“Don’t you remember? I promised to undress only in front of Luwen.”

Luwen’s shoulders flinched.

“Th-that wasn’t what it meant.”

Wow. He’s completely flustered. I could clearly hear Luwen’s breathing as he hastily rubbed his face.

Suddenly I wanted to see his face. I felt the need to confirm if he would still look at me with straightforward eyes.

“I know. It was a joke.”

I laughed, raising my voice. Then, picking up the ointment from the desk, I said:

“By the way, Luwen, actually the rash on my back hasn’t gone down, could you apply some ointment for me?”

Luwen quickly turned around. What kind of look would he have in his eyes? It couldn’t be called slow, but time seemed to flow leisurely. And Luwen, when we finally faced each other…

“So you were in pain after all.”

He was so clear that I doubted whether he was really conscious of me. Worry. Sympathy. Anger. But not a hint of stickiness.

‘Was I mistaken? But he definitely showed a reaction, so it’s hard to dismiss it as just my imagination.’

Of course, Luwen has always been shy. Especially in front of me. So…

‘Wait a moment.’

I suddenly realized I had overlooked an important fact.

‘What if he gets embarrassed when in the same situation with other people too?’

That would mean I’d completely misread things.

But considering the stories circulating about Luwen in the academy, it’s known that he maintains a very cold and indifferent attitude toward others.

‘The problem is that these are just rumors. Having experienced him myself, it’s hard to fully believe them.’

Alteo is truly a bastard in many ways. If that guy hadn’t done something stupid to me out of jealousy, I could have observed Luwen from afar.

‘Then I wouldn’t be having these thoughts now.’

I wanted to hit the head of that guy who was probably relaxing with his legs stretched out right now.

“Young master?”

“…Huh?”

I must have been lost in thought, staring blankly. It’s troublesome to make mistakes like this in front of Luwen. Recalling his last question, I answered with an awkward smile.

“Ah. No, it’s not painful, but I can’t see well so I don’t think I applied it properly.”

Luwen’s brow furrowed. With a sigh mixed with guilt, he took the ointment from my hand.

“It’s my oversight. I’ll apply it for you, so please sit comfortably.”

“‘Oversight’ is too much. I didn’t tell you.”

I turned the chair so that the backrest was at my side. I removed the shirt that had been awkwardly draped over my shoulders and placed it roughly on my knees.

I felt bitter for having acted rashly and only making Luwen upset. He was just being his usual self, but I got angry, then hopeful, then disappointed, and I couldn’t shake the feeling that Luwen had been dragged into it.

‘Was I always this irrational…’

I worried Luwen because I couldn’t properly control even one emotion. If I had acted rationally, I wouldn’t have asked him to apply ointment to my back. Now Luwen would continue to worry until I was completely healed.

Even amid all this, I kept remembering how Luwen couldn’t look at me properly. The doubt about whether it was really my imagination wouldn’t disappear.

‘No, let’s stop. First, I need to confirm how he acts when he’s with other people.’

If he’s only shy in front of me. If bashful Luwen is exclusively mine. Then I can hope again and think about what’s next.

‘What should I do?’

Having become a famous figure at the academy, it would be hard to observe secretly since I would stand out wherever I went. Although Alteo was in the same space, Luwen disliked him more than I did, so he might show disgust but probably wouldn’t be embarrassed.

‘Should I ask people from the swordsmanship department?’

Drabis, who was said to be Luwen’s only friend, seemed like someone who could give me the answer I wanted. While I was contemplating how to call him separately, I realized that Luwen, who had said he would apply the ointment, wasn’t doing anything.

Without much thought, I turned my head slightly to look in the mirror and saw Luwen hesitating to touch me.

He would extend his fingers, then curl them back, exhaling a long breath without making a sound. Then, as if he had steeled his resolve, he would close his mouth firmly and reach out again. It came close enough that looking only in the mirror, one might mistake that he had touched me, but then he would withdraw his hand abruptly. He would look at my back, turn his head away, and even ruffle his own hair vigorously.

‘What is this…’

Just as I was confused about how to interpret this, Luwen looked at the mirror. Our eyes met directly through the mirror. He froze for a moment, then lowered his gaze.

“I’m sorry. It’s pathetic that I didn’t realize it had gotten this bad…”

“Ah.”

So it was just self-blame after all. Was I secretly expecting something? I felt so disappointed that the strength drained from my body. I hid my true feelings and smiled.

“It doesn’t hurt. You know that since you applied it to your face too.”

Contrary to my inner feelings, my reflection in the mirror showed a perfect smile. But being in the same space with Luwen was burdensome. I didn’t know when my expression might contort.

I put on my shirt and stood up from the chair.

“Young master?”

“I’ll ask Alteo to look at it. Don’t worry.”

Grab. My outstretched hand trying to take the ointment was caught. The grip strength firmly holding my wrist was considerable.

“No.”

“Alteo is fine. He won’t attack me anymore.”

Knowing why Luwen was worried, I patted the back of his hand and smiled with crinkled eyes. Yet the hand gripping my wrist didn’t loosen. It seems I might need to tell him that I had revealed my identity to Alteo. That would ease his worry.

Just as I was about to open my mouth—

“You promised not to undress in front of others. Are you saying you’ll take off your shirt in front of Alteo?”

…He’s confusing me again. Just earlier it seemed like it wasn’t the case, but now he’s holding me back as if jealous.

Constantly making me confused like this is making my emotions fluctuate.

If things continued this way, I feared my feelings would soon be exposed. I might slip up in my speech, or fail to manage my expressions in front of Luwen. Even now, just pretending to be composed was overwhelming.

“Alteo is the chairman of the medical department. It’s the same as showing an affected area to a doctor.”

“He’s still just a student. And I can apply ointment to your back too.”

My wrist was still held. It was behavior that seemed obsessive towards me, but now I knew I shouldn’t misunderstand.

Yes. I know, but still…

‘If this isn’t obsession, then what is it?’

Isn’t he acting like a lover making sure I don’t show my bare skin to others? It felt as if he was claiming ownership over me.

“Then will Luwen apply it for me?”

“Yes.”

“Alright. I’ll leave it to you.”

After contemplating what to do, I saw no need to go against him and so I retreated. Only then did Luwen release my wrist. His rigid expression also softened.

I observed him as I took off my shirt again. Even this time, I couldn’t read any special emotion. He was just the same as always.

‘He’s not even embarrassed now. Did he adapt in this short time?’

I sat on the chair with the backrest at my side, just like before.

“Please tell me if it hurts.”

“Okay.”

This time, I immediately felt a cold sensation on my shoulder. The slippery feeling lingered in one area before moving to the side.

Glance.

Luwen in the mirror was calmly performing his task. Very meticulously, too. As if proving that his earlier behavior was truly due to guilt.

It was the moment when my wavering heart, with its sliver of hope, came crashing down.

‘If he were conscious of me… if he had even slightly different feelings for me, he couldn’t act so nonchalantly while looking at my bare body.’

Just looking at how I became dazed when I saw Luwen’s bare upper body proves this. In the end, I could only swallow a sigh and turn my gaze away.

After that, as I was blankly staring at the wall in front of me—

“Hick!”

As soon as Luwen’s hand touched below my shoulder blade, my body tingled. I jerked up with a start and instinctively covered my mouth with my hand, startled by the strange sound that came out.