The Villain Wants to Change Genres

Chapter 128

“Young master, are you asleep?”

When I didn’t respond with my eyes closed, Luwen carefully wrapped his arm around my shoulder. He seemed to be supporting me so I wouldn’t fall backward while dozing.

“Luwen…”

“Yes.”

“I’m sleepy.”

I leaned my head against his chest, behaving like a child. I was so angry but couldn’t show it, so I wanted to be comforted like this at least.

“Sleep then. Would you like me to help you to bed?”

“That would be nice.”

Before I could even get up from the chair, Luwen lifted me up. He laid me on the bed and covered me with a blanket. Then he sat on a chair, holding my hand with one hand while patting my chest with the other.

‘He’s holding my hand tightly?’

Like that night when I was rescued from the valley, Luwen was gripping my hand firmly. I was excited by the natural skinship but suppressed that emotion, carefully asking while focusing on unpleasant memories.

“Luwen. Are you anxious right now?”

“…Did you notice?”

I wonder if he was very shocked when I disappeared. Probably tonight, Luwen wouldn’t return to his room. If I hadn’t known anything, I would have casually asked him to get in bed with me like that night. But now I couldn’t bring myself to say it.

“Young master, could I sleep with you like before?”

I never expected Luwen to suggest it first.

“Huh?”

“…Is that not alright?”

When I stupidly responded in surprise, Luwen immediately lowered his gaze, deflated.

“Why not? Of course it’s alright.”

Only after answering reflexively did I realize how frightening habits can be. Automatically saying yes and giving in to his requests had come back to bite me.

“Really?”

…Seeing him so happy, I couldn’t take back my words and say it was a joke. Afraid he would notice and be hurt if I acted differently than usual, I could only maintain a calm, benevolent smile.

“Yes. But are you sure it’s okay with me looking like this?”

I tried to make an excuse that occurred to me belatedly, but Luwen didn’t seem to mind.

“You’re as beautiful as ever.”

“…R-right. I’ll take the inside.”

My heart faithfully responded even to such flattery. Unlike me, it was very diligent.

Fortunately, the bed was larger than the one in the barracks. Although it was narrow for a single bed, it wasn’t so small that we would be cramped.

When I made room, Luwen promptly got in. Then he folded his arm to use as a pillow, lay on his side, and placed his hand on my chest.

The impact of having him lying right next to me was quite different from having him sit beside the bed.

‘Will I really be able to sleep? My heart is pounding so hard I might die!’

The morally upright me from just moments ago had disappeared somewhere, leaving only a fool tensely aware of Luwen’s proximity.

“You must be tired today. Sleep well.”

His voice was close. Despite taking the antidote, my whole body itched as if the rash symptoms had worsened.

“Mm-hmm. Good night to you too, Luwen.”

I… am smiling normally, right?

Worried that I might show something strange, I quickly closed my eyes. The itchiness continued, not even knowing which part was itchy.

Pat, pat—

Luwen patted my chest again. I was concerned that even this action might make me uncomfortable.

But I realized once again how terrifying long-established habits can be. Far from being tense, my body began to relax comfortably. The distracting thoughts filling my mind gradually drained away with each pat, and my consciousness grew hazy.

‘Ah… if it’s like this, I think we could sleep together every day.’

With the foolish thought that I’d just need to be careful in the mornings, I fell asleep.

* * *

I woke up to the dazzling morning sunlight. Bird songs and wind poured in through the wide-open window along with the sunshine. While enjoying this peaceful moment, I remembered sleeping with Luwen last night and looked around the room, but he wasn’t there.

‘When did he leave?’

The cold sheets told me that Luwen had been gone for quite some time. What nonsense is it to feel disappointed that he’s not here when a repeat of the previous morning would be troublesome?

‘I don’t even know what I want myself.’

To calm my unsettled feelings, I stood by the window frame and took a deep breath. The fresh forest scent carrying morning dew lifted my mood.

“Hoo.”

After slowly exhaling the deep breath, I looked in the mirror. Seeing my face so distorted was unfamiliar—this was the first time including my previous life.

‘I look ugly…’

Having to stay like this for days more. A sigh escaped me. Suddenly I wondered if he had left because my appearance looked terrible in the bright light. If I found it unsightly, wouldn’t others find it even more so?

‘It seems like it would work even without applying the herb extract today…’

But I should still apply it. The rash was subsiding thanks to the antidote I took yesterday. Since I couldn’t appear to be recovering, I planned to apply it generously again today.

“Are you awake?”

I didn’t hear the door opening, but the sudden voice startled me and I turned around.

“I’m sorry. I came in quietly in case you were still sleeping.”

Luwen belatedly made noise opening the door and walked in with firm steps.

Perhaps because I kept thinking about my face that I had just seen in the mirror, my head naturally lowered. I felt pathetic acting like someone without thoughts, even while knowing I couldn’t properly hide it and Luwen had already seen everything.

“You must be hungry. I’ve prepared a meal.”

Luwen extended his hand. Glancing down, I saw that the back of his hand and wrist were as messy as my face, so I pulled down my sleeve and got up by myself.

“Why are you avoiding my gaze? Did I do something wrong?”

“What? No, of course not.”

I turned my head reflexively, then hurriedly lowered it again, and immediately regretted it. I was being too obvious. I don’t know why putting on a mask is so difficult today.

“I look hideous right now. I’m embarrassed to show myself to others, I’m not avoiding you.”

Since there was nothing particularly to hide, I just honestly admitted it.

“Young master, look at me.”

“I said I’m embarrassed…”

I lowered my head so deeply that my chin almost touched my collarbone, then Luwen took my chin and slowly lifted my head. Luwen, shining brilliantly in the sunlight, was perfect as always, even in the morning. He presented such a stark contrast to me.

“I told you yesterday, but have you forgotten?”

Tender affection overflowed in the black eyes that gazed steadily at me. My chest felt itchy, and I unconsciously placed my hand on it.

“To me, you are still beautiful. This is true regardless of your appearance.”

“You wouldn’t say that if I were covered in scars.”

“I wonder about that. Since the reason you’re beautiful to me isn’t just because of your appearance, I don’t think that would change.”

Luwen’s smile was as deep as his confident voice. I laughed with a deflating sound at the sincerity delivered so directly that I couldn’t look away. I couldn’t help but laugh. No one would dislike hearing that the person they care for would find them beautiful in any appearance simply because it’s “them.”

“Conversely, if my face were ruined, would you dislike me?”

My mind went blank at the sudden counterquestion. It was because of a chilling thought that momentarily flashed through my mind.

‘I must really have gone crazy.’

I thought that it might actually be good if that happened. Then people who approached Luwen only for his appearance would disappear. I felt it would be better if I was the only one who knew his charm and kindness.

So that he would stay by my side forever.

…My true nature was clearly revealed. A selfish, terrible, self-centered person.

Contradictorily, the moment I realized this, I regained my senses. I firmly grasped myself, which had been loosely unraveling.

‘This is no time to worry about the rash.’

If I don’t want my true nature to be exposed, I need to handle this properly.

“Of course not. No matter what Luwen looks like, you’re my precious…”

I wanted to say “person.” I reluctantly swallowed words I couldn’t bring myself to say and changed the term. As they say, a thief is sensitive about their own footsteps—even an unrelated word bothered me.

“Brother, that won’t change.”

“It’s the same for me. Young master is always my first priority. You are the most precious person to me.”

…Don’t misunderstand. It’s not the same meaning as mine, so I need to keep my mind straight.

I had to desperately maintain my reason and common sense. But how could I calm my fluttering emotions in front of Luwen, who smiled as if dissolving sugar, matching his sweet words?

‘I might die like this.’

My emotions were jumping wildly, to a degree that even I thought I seemed insane. Assigning meaning to every little thing around me, being happy, sad, angry, excited. This is definitely not normal.

But the strangest thing is that I enjoy all those moments. I wonder if my love for calmness and composure of mind disappeared when I died in my previous life, because despite being in the middle of an uncontrollable whirlwind of complex and disturbing emotions, I wished for this moment to continue.

Because it’s Luwen who makes me like this.

Because I love that fact.

I understood intensely what it meant to like something so much it could kill you.

‘When it feels this good…’

I gazed steadily at Luwen’s dazzling smile.

‘How can I let him go?’