Chapter 198
Swoooosh—
Wind whirled from somewhere. Flying hair obscured my vision. Books piled on the floor were blown and scattered by the wind. Like accumulated ash being swept away.
“It was Miss’s and my wish. A world where Fei Vinter was alive, a world where we could… live together with him, a world where you could smile happily.”
The man reached out his hand to me. His cheeks were damp with moisture. I don’t know why those quietly flowing tears hurt so much.
“However, Young Master always loved us. That’s why we wrote it that way. That we are your enemies. That we are the ones who kill you. So… don’t love us, and live on. Know the future and prepare for your safety, live safely and peacefully, that’s what we wanted.”
At the sorrowful touch caressing my cheek, I stepped back. This isn’t my Luwen. I mustn’t give my heart to this person. If I did, I felt I would become sad every time I looked at Luwen. Because it would be a love I had lost.
“But what if you love again?”
He lowered the hand he had extended toward me with a bitter smile. I desperately tried to look away, not wanting to be swept up in emotions, but it wasn’t easy. My gaze kept going to him. My heart reacted contrary to my will. It seemed like the me from a life I couldn’t remember was telling me that he too was Luwen.
“As if that’s up to me…”
My mumbling voice sounded so pathetic.
I wanted to return quickly. I wanted to be held in my Luwen’s arms and confirm who was real. I didn’t want to think about whether I could distinguish between real and fake, or whether that was meaningful.
Suddenly, Luwen stared blankly somewhere. I turned my gaze following him, but only darkness was visible to my eyes. After a moment, he turned his head back toward me and opened his mouth.
“Young Master’s…”
After hesitating briefly, he continued with a forlorn smile as if giving up on something.
“…what was shown to Luwen was a virtual world repeatedly run to obtain the desired result. It was only conveyed so that experience could be accumulated to maximize the power of aura, it’s not something for you to reference.”
It was an out-of-the-blue statement, but I soon realized it was the answer to my question. However, that was something I had asked Luwen, not this man. Had they been watching everything?
“Isn’t it something that could actually happen? If I knew that, I could prepare for it.”
“Well, I don’t think it’s meaningful now.”
“Why?”
Luwen gazed at me intently. I could read a strange emotion in that gaze.
‘…He’s looking at me as if this meeting is the last.’
My heart churned. A suffocating frustration built up.
“Those records are a virtual world based on the personality of Fei Vinter that I knew. But you now are different from the Young Master I knew.”
“That’s because I remember my past life…”
Different. The me he knew and the current me are different. So naturally our choices would also be different. They had to be different. As I had told him, if the lives lived and memories were different, then that would be a different person.
“You seem to have realized.”
“…Will I never be able to find my memories of living with you?”
“That was the price. I couldn’t understand it at the time, but now I know the reason. Only that way could the wish be fulfilled.”
“You didn’t want this kind of result, did you?”
You said you wanted to live with me. That’s why you used the treasure. If it were me, I think I’d want to enjoy it myself rather than wish for another me’s happiness.
“As a result, Miss and I lost Young Master forever, but the wish was certainly fulfilled. Because you’re alive. You smile happily. That’s enough.”
I couldn’t say anything and lowered my head. I thought you didn’t love me. But that wasn’t it. Luwen loved me. Not only the Luwen before my eyes, but also the Luwen I met after reincarnation loves me.
‘I absolutely cannot think of them as different people.’
I tried to separate them, but in the end, the man was Luwen. That’s how I felt.
“Among the information in the book I gave you, what I arbitrarily changed was your death. Some content is wrong because the information Miss and I experienced and learned differs from reality. The death of the former Duke is like that.”
“Are you talking about the time Father drank the poison?”
Certainly in the book, it was written that he drank the poisoned wine after entering the palace that day. But when I went to warn him, Father had already consumed the poison.
“Yes. We didn’t hear the former Duke’s last words. Since there was no evidence that the First Prince handed him the poisoned liquor, we had inferred it. It was inaccurate information from the beginning.”
“…What’s the reason for telling me this now?”
Last time, you chased me away saying it would be better not to remember. But now you don’t seem to intend to erase my memory.
“Because you’ve now accepted my existence, Young Master. If you didn’t trust me, you wouldn’t have been able to trust the book’s contents either, and I judged that would be dangerous as it would cause confusion for you.”
Rummmmmble—
Just then, I was startled by a loud sound from somewhere and reflexively turned my head. However, there was nothing to see in the space filled entirely with darkness. But Luwen seemed to see something different from me.
“The world is collapsing. This space will disappear now.”
Was this the reason the atmosphere changed right after Luwen stared into empty space a little while ago?
“Why?”
“Because the wish has been fulfilled.”
“You said war would break out. We don’t know what will happen yet, so why is it trying to disappear?”
“The judgment isn’t mine to make. The source of magic that can cross dimensions. The mana dwelling in the heart of the dragon that founded the Empire is the source of magic.”
Luwen reached out his hand to me again. Thinking it was the last time, I absolutely couldn’t avoid it. He carefully touched me, and when I didn’t refuse, he pulled me into his embrace. It was such a familiar warmth.
“Be happy. I loved you. I will continue to love you. Forever until the moment I die.”
The confession delivered in a calm voice was heartfelt. I firmly grasped Luwen’s waist. What words should I say… I had to choose each word carefully.
Kuuuung! Kuung!
Meanwhile, the sound of the world collapsing could be heard loudly. The intervals shortened, and the sound grew louder. Urgency arose, and I couldn’t calmly organize my thoughts. But the answer that could reciprocate his feelings was practically decided.
“I’ll be happy. It’s the happiness Luwen gave me, isn’t it? So I will enjoy my happiness. I’ll protect it. I’ll live that way. Together with you and sister.”
Though I poured it out without order in my urgent heart, my will to protect my current life was certain.
“Yes. That’s how it will be. Do as you’ve prepared. Do as you think. That’s the answer. That’s why this space is disappearing.”
Luwen released me from his embrace. He was smiling. It was exactly the same as Luwen’s smile when he asked if I slept well every morning. Ending with the smile that signaled the start of an ordinary day. I don’t know whether to laugh or cry.
“Fei.”
As he whispered, I suddenly remembered the me in dreams who had pleaded to be called by name.
“I love you.”
Kwaaaaaaang—!
A huge noise sounded as if the ceiling right above my head had collapsed. I reflexively covered my ears, but I could hear his voice clearly.
That’s why it had to be Luwen. Because his voice was always clear at any time.
“Be happy.”
Luwen pushed me away. I felt nauseous from dizziness. Now I know what this is. I’m returning to my original world. When I open my eyes, Luwen will be waiting for me.
* * *
“Everyone withdraw.”
At Irene’s voice, the attendants who had been assisting her all withdrew. One who had been thinking that Her Majesty the Empress’s smile, which always seemed sad, appeared a bit brighter, was startled to see an unfamiliar man waiting in the corridor.
He looked extremely gaunt, as if he might collapse at any moment. His hair, which seemed to have been neglected rather than properly groomed, had grown to his back and was disheveled, and although he still looked young, the roots of his hair were pure white.
Nevertheless, unable to hide his handsomeness, the person stared blankly for a moment before being pulled by a colleague’s hand, coming to their senses and hurrying away.
Looking back before turning the corner of the corridor, they could see the man entering the reception room.
“Miss.”
“…You’re awake.”
Irene was momentarily surprised to see Luwen’s appearance and expression, which had changed to an unfamiliar degree, but spoke calmly. Though she couldn’t know in detail what hardships he had endured or what he had experienced, since the younger brother they had waited for so earnestly was nowhere to be seen, she intuitively knew their wish had been fulfilled in a different form than they had hoped.
“I had a dream. That you and Fei became lovers… I saw that child smiling shyly but joyfully. Did that actually happen?”
“Yes.”
Irene was silent for a long time. She closed her eyes and recalled the dream that remained vividly in her mind. How long had it been since she had seen Fei smile so brightly? It made her both happy and sad.
“I’m sorry, Luwen. Because I… opposed it…”
It was Irene who first noticed Luwen’s feelings. Even before Fei became aware of his own emotions, Luwen had held him in his heart. So she had called Luwen to give him a warning.
“You only gave us a reprieve. When the enemies threatening us were eliminated… then, you said to love freely, so strictly speaking, you didn’t oppose it.”
It was all for Fei’s sake. She deliberately kept distance, fearing they would be persistently targeted if the fact that they were each other’s weakness was exposed. She had vowed that when everything was over, when Fei became safe, she would love him dearly.
But such time never came. Even with regret, time could not be turned back.
When the Emperor brought her before the Empire’s treasure for her who couldn’t forget her younger brother and grieved, the power activated by desperation responded to Irene and Luwen. The golden mana swirled around the two people before finally gathering around Luwen like a clump.
She thought they would be saved by the magic dwelling in the Empire’s treasure like that. But it wasn’t the way Irene had thought. There was no way to reverse what had passed from the beginning. They had to make different choices in new time.
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
