Chapter 189
“You must tell me if your physical condition worsens even slightly. Don’t hide it.”
“No, that’s not why I’m…”
“Not why?”
When I pressed him as he trailed off, Luwen cleared his throat and said:
“My heart naturally beats faster when I’m facing you, Young Master.”
“Huh? …Oh.”
So that’s why.
Somehow I felt shy and didn’t know what to say, so I just rolled my eyes around aimlessly. A slightly awkward atmosphere settled between us. The subtle air created by our mutual awareness of each other felt ticklish.
It seems we were more natural before becoming lovers. Now, I couldn’t remember how I acted before, or how I should behave to avoid awkwardness.
‘Ugh, what should I say…’
No thoughts came to mind, as if I’d never been good with words. The cause was entirely due to Luwen’s gaze upon me. Lovingly, tenderly, affectionately, gently. It was such a sweet gaze that any expression would fit. As if I might melt away… like that.
“Could you stop staring?”
In the end, I was the one who surrendered. I buried my face in my hands and bowed my head deeply.
“Even if I look, I still want to keep looking. Is that not allowed?”
“It’s not that it’s not allowed… but I might die of embarrassment…”
“Hahaha.”
His laughter was clear. I lifted my gaze slightly and peeked at him through my fingers. Dust particles floating in the long-streaming sunlight sparkled. As if they existed solely to illuminate him.
If I could preserve this moment forever, I would have done so. But since that was impossible, I filled my eyes with as much of Luwen as I could. To store it in my mind so I could remember today anytime.
“I love you too.”
“…Hmm?”
“You were looking at me with such eyes. Was I wrong?”
“You’re right. I… always love you.”
Overcoming my shyness, I expressed my feelings aloud. Just as I was happy to hear him say he loved me, I wanted him to be happy too.
But Luwen’s face seemed to darken for a moment. However, it was such a fleeting instant, and as he stood up with his back to the sun, I was confused whether I had mistaken the shadow for his expression.
“Since you need to recover quickly, Young Master, I’ll prepare breakfast.”
“Huh? But I’m not hungry yet.”
“If you wait until you’re hungry to eat, you’ll collapse.”
With that gentle admonishment, Luwen told me to wait and left the room. His attitude and tone were the same as usual.
Was that momentary dark expression just due to the shadow created by the sunlight?
‘Hmm. No, maybe it was because of what I said.’
Just as I worried about Luwen, he probably felt the same about me. And yet, after finally waking up before him, I had fallen back asleep as if I’d fainted.
‘I was happy to see Luwen when I woke up, but…’
I usually liked how Luwen and my sister worried about me. Whenever I was sick, they cared for me, stayed by my side. Each time they prepared medicine or meals for me, I felt their love.
But since both of them were so robust they never even caught common colds, I hadn’t properly understood what went through their minds when they cared for me.
When I saw Luwen lying down, I felt as if my heart had turned completely black, as if all the lights had gone out. The emotions experienced firsthand were different from just hearing about it. If I had felt sadness about his unfortunate fate when reading the original story, now it was closer to fear.
‘If Luwen felt this way too, I must have done many cruel things.’
He still hasn’t forgotten when I collapsed at the snowy training ground, so I think he probably felt a similar fear.
Thinking about this, feelings of guilt welled up in me. Though I can’t take back what’s already happened, I resolved to pay special attention to my health from now on.
As a first step, even though I had no appetite whatsoever, I ate as much of the soup Luwen brought as I could. For the first time since he started watching my meal portions, I wasn’t told to eat more.
“You ate a lot. Well done.”
And I realized that as much as I appreciated being cared for—no, even more than that—seeing someone else happy because of my actions was more joyful. It was a ticklish, happy feeling.
After finishing the meal, I fell asleep while leaning against Luwen and chatting. At least, I think that’s what happened. Perhaps it was because I used all my energy digesting, or because I felt at ease seeing Luwen awake and healthy.
‘I’m sure we were talking…’
It felt like I had just closed my eyes and opened them again, but I was lying in bed. Judging by the darkness around, it seemed night had fallen. Surprisingly, I had slept through being moved here, to my room.
‘Where’s Luwen?’
My back was stiff from lying down for too long, so I got out of bed. While patting my back and looking around, I discovered Luwen standing beyond the tightly closed balcony window.
He was looking up, perhaps at the moon, when he turned around after I took a few steps. Simultaneously, a smile spread across his face that had seemed devoid of emotion. It was like witnessing a warm bonfire ignite in a cold, dark cave.
“You’re awake.”
As the balcony door opened, cold wind poured in. The flames in the fireplace flickered in the breeze, creating shadows everywhere.
“Why were you out there? It’s cold.”
“I had something to think about.”
“Something to think about?”
Luwen brought the cold wind with him.
“Thoughts like how I could become stronger.”
He wants to become even stronger? After awakening his lost power? I wondered why he would desire more strength, when suddenly I realized that Luwen might not know about this yet.
“Luwen. Do you know about aura?”
“I’ve heard of it. The Vice Captain of Duke Cromwell’s Knight Order mentioned that the Honorary Duke was the person closest to achieving aura. I heard it briefly then, but I don’t know exactly what it is.”
It seems it’s been passed down like a legend among knights. However, no one seems to know precisely what aura is or what abilities it grants. It appears the only information available is that in ancient times, one had to master aura to reach the rank of Sword Master.
“I think you used that aura.”
“Me?”
Luwen tilted his head. He seemed puzzled, but his expression soon grew calm. As if he had some inkling.
Immediately after, blue energy swirled in his hand.
“Is this… aura?”
“It seems so.”
As if testing it, he moved the aura around. Soon, the blue light began to circle around me as if enveloping me. As the rotation speed gradually increased until my eyes could no longer follow it, it looked as if a blue barrier had formed.
‘What if I move and get cut?’
I was a bit tense, knowing that though it appeared stationary, it was actually rotating fiercely. At that moment, Luwen smiled slightly and inserted his finger to show it was safe. The aura didn’t inflict any wounds on him.
“You can move. This will never harm you, Young Master.”
Since I could trust Luwen’s words, I tried to do the same thing he did.
“It’s moving?”
The aura’s form changed to match my movements.
“I’m still inexperienced, so it’s a bit hard to control.”
…Inexperienced? Is this normal? Or is our Luwen a genius? It seems like the latter, right? There’s no other way to explain it.
‘Actually, I know nothing about aura, so I can’t say for sure.’
The mere fact that he can handle aura is evidence of his excellence, deserving more than just the label of “genius.” With such power, perhaps even if faced with an isolated situation like in the original story, Luwen might be able to escape safely—
‘No, that’s not right.’
I shouldn’t feel relieved. Didn’t Luwen remain unconscious longer than I did after we were rescued from the building? I don’t know what principles govern aura, but it certainly can’t be used without conditions.
Even sword energy has a limited time it can be used. If aura is more powerful, it would require a greater price. The duration would be shorter.
‘Still, since we can deal with the First Prince earlier than in the original story, perhaps war won’t break out?’
Even if war truly breaks out, the two of them won’t be surrounded by enemy forces like in the original story. Without a traitor providing detailed information about their own country, the two would surely be able to win.
‘Yes, it’s alright. Everything is going well.’
While I was lost in thought, Luwen withdrew his aura. Even that brief display made him look somewhat tired.
“Are you okay?”
“It seems I need a lot of practice to maintain it for long, but I think it will work well.”
Despite his fatigued complexion, his expression was bright. I caught a glimpse of his childhood self, delighted when granted permission to learn swordsmanship.
“By the way, your sister has come looking for you several times. Shall I bring her here?”
“Ah, no. I’ll go to her.”
It was hard to stay in bed any longer, and I was curious about the trial results today.
“Let’s eat after you see your sister.”
“…Eat again?”
Since I had eaten and gone straight to sleep, I wasn’t particularly hungry and reflexively asked, but then remembering my resolution to eat well, I changed my words.
“Oh, yes. I should eat.”
I was slightly worried about getting an upset stomach from eating so much, but hoping that it had digested sufficiently while I slept, I left the room.
My sister, who had said she was on extended leave and had free time, was in her office. It seemed better to share some of the domain’s affairs as before.
Knock, knock.
“Sister.”
Clunk!
First came the sound of a chair being pushed back, followed by hurried footsteps. My sister, who burst out flinging the door open, saw me and smiled brightly.
“Fei!”
“What is it? Did something good happen?”
“Yes. You came to see me.”
My sister, excited like a child, grabbed my arm and pulled me to the sofa in her office. After seating me, she examined my face from various angles.
“Mm. Good. Your complexion is finally improving a bit.”
“Was I that much of a mess?”
“You never even look in the mirror.”
Since I had no particular reason to, I smiled sheepishly.
“Luwen, sit down too. You’re not just a guard anymore, so why are you being so formal?”
“Lady, I would like to continue in my position as the Young Master’s guard.”
I reacted faster than my sister to his answer.
“What? Why?”
Luwen looked between me and my sister before speaking.
“…If not me, you would have to have someone else as your guard, wouldn’t you?”
“What’s wrong with that?”
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
