Chapter 187
“…I knew you’d come back, I knew you’d come back.”
“Yes… I knew you’d come back.”
“Eunseong.”
“…”
“Eunseong, snap out of it.”
Someone grabbed his shoulder and shook it. Eunseong’s vacant eyes returned to reality. Director Nam was examining him with a worried expression.
“It’ll be alright. The doctor said it will be alright.”
“…Yes.”
“They’re performing surgery, and they’re the best experts, so it’ll be fine.”
His voice was filled with determination, as if chanting a spell that everything must be fine regardless, but he couldn’t hide the faint trembling.
Director Nam sat in front of the surgery control area, anxiously rubbing his legs together, constantly checking the surgery status screen that showed no change.
Though he said everything would be fine, he couldn’t sit still for a moment.
Eunseong’s eyes also turned to the screen displaying the surgery status.
“…I knew you’d come back, I knew you’d come back.”
What did he mean by knowing I’d come back?
Did he know I was going to leave, that I was going to run away?
Did he… know I was going to abandon him?
Before losing consciousness, Yoo Siwoon had muttered faintly, gasping for breath that seemed about to be cut off.
That he believed Eunseong would return, that he knew he would come back.
With a dazed mind, Eunseong kept replaying what Yoo Siwoon had whispered as he exhaled his fading breath while leaning on Eunseong’s shoulder.
Knowing he’d come back… could only be interpreted as meaning he knew Eunseong was going to leave.
It seemed like something serious had happened, that some major event had occurred, but it didn’t feel real.
Bloodstains that couldn’t be washed away remained on Eunseong’s clothes and hands. It was Yoo Siwoon’s blood. He had lost a lot of blood. So much that it had flowed across the floor. His face without any trace of blood was not a rhetorical expression. His bloodless white face resembled that of a corpse.
His hands, stained with dried blood, were trembling slightly. Eunseong clenched his trembling hands into fists and mechanically stared at the screen showing the surgery status.
That confession—that he knew Eunseong would come back, that he would endure and live—meant that if Eunseong hadn’t returned, he would have simply died. It meant that without Eunseong, there was no reason to continue living.
Eunseong felt drained, as if all strength had left his body, leaving him without even the energy to think. He had no strength to feel anger toward the man who worried about him and would have given up his life if Eunseong hadn’t returned. His emotions, the knot that had been clogging his chest, seemed to have completely disappeared, leaving him feeling nothing.
He could only stare blankly at Director Nam, who alternated between sitting and standing, pressing his forehead against the wall, running his hands through his hair, and rubbing his face until it turned red.
It had already been three hours since Yoo Siwoon entered the operating room. Time passed both slowly and quickly.
Another meaningless hour passed.
Another hour went by.
Every hour that passed, Eunseong stared at the screen. Nothing had changed. Only Yoo Siwoon’s name and the indication “In Surgery” remained displayed.
“…This surgery shouldn’t take this long. I need to check. I need to meet with the doctor to find out what’s happening.”
Director Nam, who had been anxiously pacing due to worry, finally couldn’t stand it anymore and took out his phone from his pocket. Just as he was about to contact the hospital director or someone, the control area door opened, and medical staff walked out.
Director Nam hurriedly went after them.
“How’s the surgery? Is the CEO alright? He’s fine, right?”
Despite his pressing questions, the doctor showed no urgency. His face, as he removed his surgical cap, was full of exhaustion.
“There was arterial bleeding, which took a lot of time. We’re just finishing up the peritoneal suture, and he’ll soon be moved to the recovery room.”
“His life… there’s no danger to his life, right?”
“Fortunately, the major organs were spared. The liver laceration has been well sutured too. However, due to the severe bleeding, we need to observe him carefully for the next day.”
“Haah…”
Finally releasing the tension that had been constricting his entire body, Director Nam exhaled a pained breath. His legs gave way, and he collapsed into a chair.
After conveying the basic situation, the doctor went back inside. Only Eunseong and Director Nam remained in front of the surgery control area.
“Thank goodness. Thank goodness. Thank goodness.”
Director Nam muttered to himself endlessly. Despite hearing the doctor’s assurance that Yoo Siwoon’s life was intact, Eunseong remained dazed. No thoughts came to him. It felt like he was dreaming. It didn’t feel real.
Director Nam, who had been calming and reassuring himself, turned to look at the quiet Eunseong.
“You heard, right? The CEO is going to be fine. It’s truly fortunate that no organs were damaged.”
“…”
“Eunseong.”
“…”
“Are you listening to me?”
“…Yes. You said ahjussi is fine.”
Eunseong answered that he had heard everything.
“That’s right. The CEO is going to be fine. He’s alive. He didn’t die.”
“…Did you think ahjussi was going to die, Director?”
Director Nam, who had been stroking his chest in relief, flinched at Eunseong’s question.
“What do you mean?”
“Did you think ahjussi might die?”
Eunseong knew what the despair of someone wanting to let go of life looked like, having seen it since childhood.
Seo Jeong-gi would also say he wanted to die whenever he drank, making Eunseong tremble with anxiety. He had actually been rushed to the hospital gasping for breath before.
He drank to die, and when he regained consciousness, he cursed himself for not dying, for not being ruthless enough at the critical moment. Eventually, Eunseong stepped forward and criticized him for not dying, saying it would be better if he just died rather than continuing like this.
That’s why Eunseong had tried to leave first. Because he was sick of it. Sick of even trembling with anxiety over whether his father would die.
But Yoo Siwoon had truly tried to die. Believing Eunseong had left, he had decided to stop living. He had carried out with apparent ease the determination that Eunseong’s father had never been able to show. Eunseong saw such resolve to die for real for the first time.
“You saw the situation too. It’s a miracle he survived. He lost… he lost too much blood.”
Director Nam, who had calmly applied pressure to Yoo Siwoon’s wound with a towel to stop the bleeding just a few hours earlier, had to shudder as he recalled that moment. That was why he couldn’t erase the ominous assumption that Yoo Siwoon might die from his mind.
“…Are you alright?”
“What?”
“I’m asking if you’re alright, Eunseong. You must have been very shocked?”
As if finally having the mental space to check on Eunseong, Director Nam asked anew.
Eunseong nodded readily, admitting he had been very shocked. Director Nam only now noticed that something was wrong with Eunseong, who wasn’t showing much reaction.
“Are you really alright?”
“I’m fine.”
As he was trying to check on Eunseong’s condition, medical staff appeared. Saying there were matters to handle regarding the hospitalization, Director Nam got up to follow them.
Eunseong was left alone. On the screen showing the surgery status, the “In Surgery” indication had changed to “Recovery Room.” Eunseong, who had been waiting all this time, would soon be able to enter the recovery room.
Yoo Siwoon, who had completed surgery, was lying on the hospital bed.
“He should regain consciousness soon. We need to observe his progress a bit more. If there’s a problem, we may need to move him to the ICU.”
“…”
The trauma surgeon who had performed the operation appeared at some point and stood beside Eunseong, looking down at Yoo Siwoon as he spoke. The doctor glanced at Eunseong, who made no response, then checked Yoo Siwoon’s vitals before turning away.
Yoo Siwoon’s body was covered with a blanket. The monitor displaying his blood pressure and pulse emitted a steady sound.
His face was pale. There was no vitality at all. His expression showed neither pain nor sadness. It was a clear face with no attachment to life remaining. He was as quiet as someone sleeping peacefully, or rather, like someone about to leave this world.
Eunseong reached out his hand. He smoothed the disheveled hair on Yoo Siwoon’s forehead. Beneath the oxygen mask, he could feel Yoo Siwoon’s weak breathing. Suddenly, his vision became blurry. Tears instantly welled up, obscuring his sight. The moment he blinked, large teardrops fell one after another.
“…”
Yoo Siwoon had known. That Eunseong was planning to leave. He had known that Eunseong was going to abandon him.
If Eunseong hadn’t returned, he would have died. He had intended to die.
Because there was no reason to live. No need to live. Believing Eunseong had left, he had chosen to stop living.
Eunseong’s trembling fingertips touched Yoo Siwoon’s hair and caressed his cheek. Eunseong collapsed, burying his face in Yoo Siwoon’s chest.
“Wuugh…”
Yoo Siwoon’s chest was rising and falling with his labored breathing. The tears Eunseong had been holding back grew more intense, turning into sobs. His shoulders heaved with violent weeping, and Yoo Siwoon’s body, on which Eunseong leaned, shook with him. Yoo Siwoon’s chest became soaked with Eunseong’s tears.
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
