Chapter 182
“…What happens to me if you leave?”
“Let go. Let go, let go of this!”
When Eunseong pleaded tearfully to be released, the arms that seemed like they would never let go finally loosened. Eunseong hastily pushed him away and moved back to sit at a distance.
It was Eunseong who had embraced him first, who had liked him first despite his efforts to keep his distance, who had clung to him begging for emotion even when he said this wasn’t right, that they should stop.
Eunseong knew that asking Yoo Siwoon to let him go was unfair. As he moved back to maintain distance, his vision blurred with tears, and he flinched. The envelope that Director Nam had told him to hide well was sticking out halfway from under the pillow. It seemed to have been disturbed during their struggle.
The moment Eunseong spotted the envelope, he instinctively turned his head toward Yoo Siwoon. He was staring intently at Eunseong.
“…Why, why did you come in here? I never told you to come in. Why did you enter without permission?”
Eunseong scolded him with a trembling voice.
“Because I wanted to see you. Because I felt like I would die if I didn’t see you now.”
“Get out. I said get out!”
While distracting him with harsh words and actions, Eunseong hurriedly pushed the envelope that was sticking out back under the bedding.
“Just a little longer… I’ll leave after staying just a little longer.”
“…”
Worried that Yoo Siwoon might have seen the envelope, Eunseong couldn’t be more callous and only examined him with confused eyes. Yoo Siwoon simply stared back at Eunseong. The scratches Eunseong had left on his face stood out prominently in the dim light.
As Eunseong watched him warily, Yoo Siwoon reached out. He touched Eunseong’s disheveled hair with a delicate hand. Eunseong froze as if threatened by a gun, flinching every time Yoo Siwoon’s hand made contact.
Every time Eunseong moved to avoid him, Yoo Siwoon felt a pain like a sharpened razor blade cutting across his heart. His Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed with difficulty.
“I’m sorry for waking you.”
“…”
“…I’m sorry.”
Unable to touch his skin anymore, Yoo Siwoon stood up.
Only after his shadow had completely disappeared did Eunseong exhale the breath he had been holding and pull out the envelope hidden under the bedding. He checked the contents to see if anything was missing, but everything was intact. Fortunately, it seemed Yoo Siwoon hadn’t discovered it. While breathing a sigh of relief, a strange sense of disappointment simultaneously washed over him.
It was strange. The fact that he hadn’t discovered this… while Eunseong feared how he would react if he knew, the reality that Yoo Siwoon hadn’t noticed at all that he was planning to leave gave Eunseong a subtle feeling of disappointment.
“…”
Eunseong touched his cheek and hair. He traced them carefully, as if reenacting Yoo Siwoon’s feather-light touch. Then he touched his lips. Rubbing his lips, he recalled the sensation of kissing him. Eunseong bit his nail with a blank, thoughtful expression.
Late at night, Director Nam left the main building where Yoo Siwoon and Eunseong stayed and walked toward the staff building on the opposite side. Though his own home wasn’t far from here, Director Nam was using one of the security staff’s rooms, claiming it was bothersome to commute.
He took an ionic drink from the refrigerator stocked with snacks and beverages for the staff and went up to the second floor via the stairs.
“Why are the lights off?”
The edge of the stairway leading to the second floor and the corridor were shrouded in darkness. He fumbled along the wall to find the light switch, turned it on, and climbed the stairs to open the door of his temporary room.
Director Nam, entering without much thought, stopped abruptly.
“…CEO?”
“Ah, you’re here.”
It was Yoo Siwoon.
In the desolate room with only a desk, bed, table, and a single chair, Yoo Siwoon’s back turned to face him, looking out of place.
Yoo Siwoon was standing inexplicably in front of a clothes rack where a few suits and shirts were hanging.
“What are you doing here?”
“I stopped by because I had something to say, but it’s already been resolved.”
“…”
His awkward movement as he turned around gave the unmistakable impression that he had been rummaging through the clothes.
Director Nam grabbed Yoo Siwoon as he tried to leave the room after making an unconvincing excuse.
“What were you searching for?”
“What?”
“There’s nothing here. What were you looking for?”
“Why do you think that?”
“Because it seems like you were going through my clothes.”
“Why would I do that?”
“That’s what I’m asking. I don’t know why you would go through my clothes.”
“Do I have any reason to search through your clothes?”
“…”
“I’m only saying this because you suddenly accused me of going through your clothes.”
“…”
Despite clearly standing in a position that suggested he was searching through clothes, Yoo Siwoon questioned him with a straight face. Director Nam didn’t press further.
If he continued talking with Yoo Siwoon, he might carelessly make a statement hinting at Eunseong’s escape. Director Nam kept his mouth shut and just looked at him.
There was nothing here. Though he hadn’t specifically anticipated this situation, he couldn’t guarantee it wouldn’t happen, so he had delivered the ID and necessary documents to Eunseong as soon as he received them from Lee Joon-seung. In this house, Eunseong’s room was the only space Yoo Siwoon couldn’t freely intrude upon.
Bright, piercing eyes stared intently at Director Nam.
Director Nam had done nothing wrong. He had no reason to feel guilty. He couldn’t just stand by and watch Yoo Siwoon deteriorate, nor could he allow the innocent Eunseong to be harmed. For both their sakes, they could no longer remain together.
“I apologize. It’s just that finding you here was so unexpected.”
“I should check on how the staff are doing in their quarters.”
“What did you want to tell me?”
“Didn’t I say it’s been resolved?”
“I’m curious about why you came all the way here. Is it about Eunseong?”
When Director Nam stood his ground and questioned him, Yoo Siwoon confessed as if giving up.
“Actually, I came to ask if you could report to me morning and evening about how Eunseong is doing while I’m away.”
“…Ah, yes.”
“I was hesitating whether to ask because I might seem like a jealous spouse, but since you insisted on knowing.”
“…”
To Director Nam, who just stared back with an unconvinced silence, Yoo Siwoon casually asked.
“Would it be okay to ask this favor?”
“…Of course. That much… yes. I’ll send you updates morning and evening. Though I’m not sure if Eunseong will cooperate.”
“Eunseong seems to listen to you even if he doesn’t listen to me.”
“…”
“Makes me jealous.”
With an eerily ambiguous smile that didn’t distinguish between joke and sincerity, Yoo Siwoon left the room, passing by Director Nam as if that had been his only purpose.
Director Nam remained standing in place for a long time even after Yoo Siwoon had gone. Only after hearing the heavy main building door close in the distance did he move. He carefully placed the drink he had been holding on the desk.
With a sense of dread, he examined the clothes on the rack where Yoo Siwoon had been standing. He rummaged through various places for quite some time, expecting to find some kind of listening device, but nothing turned up. Shaking his head as if dismissing his paranoia, he stopped his compulsive search.
Though he hadn’t intentionally been careful, he hadn’t done anything in this room except sleep and wash. He hadn’t even made phone calls freely with Lee Joon-seung, exchanging only text messages disguised as advertising spam.
Was it just his imagination?
Only then did Director Nam shake off the tension that had frozen him and sat on the bed, gulping down his drink. He moistened his dry throat, parched from tension.
“…”
He stopped himself from voicing his thoughts aloud.
It couldn’t be. Surely not.
If Yoo Siwoon knew that Eunseong was planning to leave him, and if he knew that Director Nam was helping with that, he wouldn’t have reacted like this. This was the same Yoo Siwoon who had imprisoned him on the spot when he argued that Eunseong shouldn’t have a child. When it came to Eunseong, he had neither reason nor common sense. Moreover, as Eunseong continued to dislike and reject him, his agonizing obsession and blindness were growing worse.
Still, having learned to hide his true feelings and endure while living in enemy territory, he limited himself to just that much. Without such self-control, he might have done something terrible to Eunseong. Ironically, that personality was preventing the worst-case scenario.
Director Nam steeled himself, recalling Yoo Siwoon’s chilling eyes when he had said that if Eunseong became pregnant, the child would have to be terminated.
∞ ∞ ∞
Eunseong packed the envelope into his bag. There was almost nothing to take from this house. Just the half-photo of his birth mother that he had brought when he first came here, the original wedding photo of his birth parents, and a few changes of clothes for a day or two.
Despite knowing he was leaving Korea never to return, he felt no fear, no anticipation, not even worry.
No emotion concerning his own welfare remained. He didn’t care how his life would unfold, whether it went well or fell apart. All that remained in his heart were the remnants of unexpressed feelings toward Yoo Siwoon.
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
