At the end of his nineteenth year, as Li Shanqing was writing his checklist of must-do items for a relationship, his body was enduring the pain brought on by the dry cabin environment.
His throat was very itchy, and he could not stop coughing with a suppressed voice. He was constantly using the oxygen and drinking water, so he could not fall asleep at all. In the dark, enclosed space, he groggily planned his future life with Zhuang Xu, word by word, with a seriousness no less than designing each experiment, carefully selecting, repeatedly revising, and confirming that every item could be realized.
At that time, he did not quite understand the specific meaning of love, but because he still unconditionally and naively trusted in his own luck, Li Shanqing never thought that his own feelings would have the possibility of failure.
He got off the plane in the evening. When he returned home, Li Shanqing did not know how many hours he had gone without sleep. He was so uncomfortable that he was almost in a daze. After eating a few bites of the food Mary had prepared for him, he had originally planned to call Zhuang Xu to report his safe arrival after his shower, but he passed out before he could make the call.
He slept for a long time. When he woke up, it was already early morning in Fancheng. Li Shanqing felt top-heavy, his body sinking into the soft bedding. His limbs were not quite under his control, he could not even lift them. Fortunately, experience showed that he probably was not sick.
His head was still dull, and he had no idea what he was going to do today. He turned over to get his phone. The screen lit up, and he saw that Zhuang Xu had called him once and sent him two messages.
Zhuang Xu asked, “Already asleep?”, “Let me know when you wake up.”
Li Shanqing thought in a daze, so Zhuang Xu gets into character so quickly in a relationship, he’s so proactive and caring. So being in a relationship means I don’t have to endure Zhuang Xu’s fluctuating between cold and colder, and the situation where no matter how I beg Zhuang Xu, he refuses to come to Fancheng won’t happen. If I had known, I would have started asking Zhuang Xu to be in a relationship with me sooner.
Li Shanqing called back. Zhuang Xu answered quickly. Li Shanqing told him: “CEO Li is awake. I fell asleep before calling yesterday.”
“I know,” Zhuang Xu asked, “Are you uncomfortable anywhere after waking up?”
“No, but I’m very tired,” Li Shanqing complained in a delicate and unsubstantial way, “I don’t have class today, but I have to go to the project team office. I can’t sleep now, but I don’t want to get up either.”
He rustled and turned over in his blanket. Zhuang Xu suddenly initiated a video call. Li Shanqing accepted, but turned his phone a little to the side, only revealing one eye. Zhuang Xu was still in his office, with a wall of books behind him.
This was the first time Li Shanqing had a video call with Zhuang Xu, and it was Zhuang Xu who initiated it. Zhuang Xu always dressed formally during work hours, giving people a strong sense of distance. He did not seem like someone who would have a private video call with others.
“Good morning.” Zhuang Xu was holding his phone, the camera moving closer and further away. His gaze also seemed different from before, as if he looked at Li Shanqing more gently than he looked at everyone else.
Li Shanqing’s mind was not even clear yet, but his heart was already racing. He thought chaotically, why has Zhuang Xu become like this, but he was also very satisfied; he hoped that this Zhuang Xu could stay a little longer, and never change.
Amidst the novelty and bewilderment, Li Shanqing suddenly felt like he had become the only child in a Christmas mall to receive candy from Santa Claus. A strange secret joy and pride spread through his limbs and blood vessels.
“Why did you start a video call? I haven’t washed my face yet,” he said, unable to explain why he was so happy. He slowly asked Zhuang Xu, “You don’t miss me, do you?”
Zhuang Xu lowered his phone a bit, looked down at the camera, and did not answer Li Shanqing’s question. After a few seconds, he seemed to ask unskillfully: “Then do you miss me?”
His voice was low and deep,飄飄忽忽, as if he himself was not sure whether he should say it.
They had only been apart for a day, to what extent could he miss him? The person who is missed will only be spoiled and proud, how could they understand what it means to miss someone. However, Li Shanqing was a person who only spoke as he pleased and was not responsible for being honest. He did not need to figure out whether he missed Zhuang Xu or not to be able to say frankly: “Of course I miss you.”
He had originally wanted to habitually say “When are you coming to keep me company,” but thinking of Zhuang Xu’s mother, he was rarely so sensible and did not say it. He asked Zhuang Xu: “When does Auntie start chemotherapy?”
“Next week,” Zhuang Xu told him, paused, and then said, “So recently, Zhou Kaiqi will have to take more responsibility on the Licheng side. I’ll be going there less frequently.”
Li Shanqing was very understanding of this situation.
And in fact, it was normal for him not to see Zhuang Xu for several months. He had been in Fancheng for so long, and they barely saw each other a few times a year. He said so much usually because Zhuang Xu was too hard to persuade, which made him unable to resist pestering him relentlessly. To be honest, Li Shanqing was not that insistent on meeting.
And he was a little afraid of Zhuang Xu getting so close to him, it would make him so nervous that he would not be himself, although he also inexplicably wanted to do it again, as exciting as riding a roller coaster.
The two of them had only spoken a few sentences on the video call when Zhuang Xu’s assistant knocked on the door with something, so they hung up. Li Shanqing got up, tidied himself up, and went to the project team office.
He had to go to the project team because he had to meet an important new consultant brought by Lu Zhengming. The consultant’s name was Harold, a data science expert. Lu Zhengming had called Li Shanqing and told him that Harold had made great achievements in psychological data science and would be a great help when the project was launched on the market in the future.
At that time, after reading Harold’s resume, Li Shanqing had a feeling that something was not right. After meeting him today, his suspicion deepened.
Harold was in his forties and had worked for two large pharmaceutical companies, but the projects he had participated in had all produced drugs that Li Shanqing did not particularly approve of—they had outstanding short-term efficacy, but were too addictive.
He only learned about the progress of the project and did not give much market advice, but his way of talking to the team members and even Li Shanqing also had an unconcealable arrogance and slickness. And when he spoke to Lu Zhengming, there was an unknown secret and tacit understanding that made Li Shanqing’s intuition start to flash red warning lights.
After Harold left, perhaps Li Shanqing’s expression was too serious and was noticed by Lu Zhengming. Lu Zhengming asked him: “Shanqing, what’s wrong? Do you have any opinions about Harold?”
Li Shanqing had always been smart and had long understood the principle of not alerting the enemy and revealing suspicion before figuring out the situation. So he shook his head and played dumb: “I learned a lot from Harold, I’m still digesting it.”
Lu Zhengming nodded with satisfaction and did not ask any more questions.
For more than a month after returning to Fancheng from Binhai, Zhuang Xu had not come to Licheng. He had no time to rest, either working or accompanying his mother. Li Shanqing was also busy, not only with his studies and the project, but also discussing the future business model of the project with Fang Tinghan and Zhao Zixi several times.
Because the progress of Noalume was much faster than expected and was expected to enter animal testing in the coming year, after researching the projects Harold had participated in, Zhao Zixi became extremely vigilant.
When Li Shanqing went out to socialize with Lu Zhengming, he no longer played cards everywhere. He stuck close to Lu Zhengming and began to carefully treat every word he said, searching for his intentions.
As for Li Shanqing and Zhuang Xu’s relationship, looking at it from the perspective of distance and time difference, it seemed that not much had changed. It was almost the same as when their relationship was at its closest, with daily messages or phone calls, but they never met.
However, in reality, Zhuang Xu was already very different. Li Shanqing was constantly discovering this every day.
It was no longer Li Shanqing’s one-sided harassment. Although Zhuang Xu would not say any cheesy words, he would already proactively make video calls to Li Shanqing and send messages.
One morning in early December, at around five o’clock, Li Shanqing even suddenly received a report from Zhuang Xu, saying that an elder had invited him to dinner, and he only found out after he went that it was to introduce a girl to him. He had already politely refused, had just paid the bill and left, and such a thing would not happen again next time.
Li Shanqing was woken up by the vibration. He picked up his phone in a half-asleep state, read the message twice to understand it, and had never encountered such a situation before. He was a little unhappy in his heart, feeling that his emotions were out of control. He immediately called Zhuang Xu and asked angrily: “So what did you say?”
“You’re awake so early?” Zhuang Xu was a little surprised and told Li Shanqing, “I said I’m already in a relationship.”
His voice was as flat as if he were reading a report, but Li Shanqing, who was perfectly fine, suddenly became as awake as if he had jumped straight from night to day. The hand holding the phone became limp, and after a while, he instructed majestically: “Then you must find out in advance next time.”
Zhuang Xu said “I know,” but Li Shanqing felt that his attitude was not serious enough. He thought for a moment and called his name: “Zhuang Xu.” Then he emphasized very seriously: “You are mine.”
“Okay.” Zhuang Xu agreed, seeming to have a hint of a smile, although it was not very obvious.
Li Shanqing asked him why he was smiling, but Zhuang Xu neither admitted nor answered, only saying: “I should be able to come over to celebrate your birthday with you.”
“What about Auntie?” Li Shanqing asked him.
“The course of treatment will be over by then, it’s the interval period,” Zhuang Xu told him, “I also have to go to Licheng for two days for work.”
“So you’re not coming specially to celebrate my birthday, just on the way?” Li Shanqing had a big temper, liked to mock people and take things to the extreme. He habitually found fault with Zhuang Xu, but immediately felt that it was a bit impolite to say that, and said乖乖: “Forget it, forget it, it’s fine as long as you can come, it doesn’t have to be on my birthday.”
“I’m coming specially to be with you, Licheng is on the way.” Zhuang Xu explained.
Originally, Li Shanqing had planned to take a nap to recuperate after being woken up so early that day. And he had never been nervous when seeing Zhuang Xu before, only anticipation, or only the bad intention of provoking him. But Zhuang Xu had actually said such strange things to him, which made him unable to fall asleep again.
For the next half a month, Li Shanqing was anxious and uneasy every day because Zhuang Xu was coming to celebrate his birthday with him. He was a little afraid that Zhuang Xu would have strange physical contact with him, making his heart pound severely, but he was also a little curious.
He also increasingly did not understand why Zhuang Xu was in a relationship with him, because he had never heard Zhuang Xu say he liked him. The more Li Shanqing thought about it, the more he researched it, the more he felt that their relationship had a feeling that he could not understand.
Finally, it was the night before Li Shanqing’s birthday. Zhuang Xu’s plane was originally supposed to arrive in Fancheng in the evening, but due to heavy rain in Binhai, it was delayed for six hours before taking off, so the estimated arrival time became close to twelve o’clock.
After Zhuang Xu boarded the plane, he told Li Shanqing to go to bed early, and he would take a taxi to the hotel himself.
Li Shanqing actually cherished his body very much and originally planned to follow Zhuang Xu’s advice. He lay down on the bed after taking a shower. But at eleven thirty, he found that he was thinking about Zhuang Xu so much that he could not fall asleep at all, so he still got up, changed his clothes, went downstairs quietly without being discovered by Mary, opened the garage door, and drove towards the airport.
Li Shanqing had picked up Zhuang Xu from the airport before, but this time his mood seemed completely different. He even felt a strange nervousness when sending a message to inform Zhuang Xu “I’m going to the airport,” so he did not say a word, planning to give Zhuang Xu a surprise.
After parking the car and walking to the exit, Zhuang Xu’s plane had also landed for a while. There were already many people waiting at the exit. Some were holding signs, and some were looking around.
Li Shanqing tightened his mask. The phone in his pocket vibrated. He took it out and saw that Zhuang Xu had sent him “Happy Birthday,” only then did he realize it was exactly twelve o’clock. This was the first time he had celebrated his birthday at an airport, all thanks to Zhuang Xu.
Then, he received several more birthday wishes in a row, from his parents, grandparents, and maternal grandparents, as well as classmates and friends. On his birthday this year, his whole family was a little busy, so they had arranged to go to Fancheng to celebrate his lunar birthday with him.
Li Shanqing wanted to reply to Zhuang Xu first with “The big birthday boy is waiting for you at the exit,” but unexpectedly, after typing only one letter, he received a call from Mary.
He was very startled. He looked at Mary’s big face on the phone screen, hesitated for a few seconds, and answered with a stiff upper lip. Mary was extremely angry on the other end: “Shanqing, where did you go? How did you drive out?”
“…I, um…” Li Shanqing stuttered for the first time, and before he could come up with a reason, someone hugged him from behind.
Zhuang Xu’s hug was very light. His right hand rested on Li Shanqing’s upper arm, and his left hand wrapped around his chest. His warm breath was against the back of Li Shanqing’s ear.
Li Shanqing’s brain seemed to have turned into a piece of lava, burning away all his intelligence and cleverness. His phone was about to fall from his hand. Zhuang Xu raised his hand and pressed on the back of his hand, helping him hold it. He moved his hand away from his ear a little, probably having seen the caller’s name.
Li Shanqing did not look back. Zhuang Xu took his phone and explained to Mary: “Mary, he’s here with me. I was in a hurry, and he was afraid of waking you up, so he didn’t tell you. I’m sorry.”
Mary seemed to have instructed Zhuang Xu about something. Zhuang Xu said: “Okay, I’ll bring him back for breakfast tomorrow morning.”
After hanging up the phone, Li Shanqing felt that he still could not move, as if he had been immobilized by some demon. Zhuang Xu, however, was very natural, asking Li Shanqing: “Why did you still come?”
“The birthday boy can come if he wants to.” Li Shanqing said in a very low voice.
Zhuang Xu said “Thank you, birthday boy, for picking me up.” Li Shanqing turned around and saw Zhuang Xu’s coat, but did not look up at his face. In the moment his face flushed and his heart pounded, he decided to add one more thing to his unfinished relationship checklist: Zhuang Xu must celebrate his birthday with him forever.
Because every birthday should be counted as an unfinished project, the checklist immediately had N more items, where N = Li Shanqing’s lifespan – 20.
