A sigh slipped out as I felt a warmth spreading through my chest. Mistaking it for pain, Cha Jungwoo flinched.
He rummaged through his bag, pulled out what looked like a new bandage, and—just like always—carefully tended to where I was hurt.
Instead of the sloppily attached strip from before, the back of my hand now looked considerably neater. My gaze drifted from the blood-stained damp towel to his face, focused and intent.
“How’s your condition?”
“I’m fine.”
“Well, if you weren’t, you wouldn’t have come. Oh, right.”
Hesitating, Cha Jungwoo pulled out a large plastic bag from his backpack. I’d wondered what he’d been rustling around with earlier—it seemed he’d had something for me.
“…What’s this?”
“…It’s nothing much. I was out buying a gift for Heemin, and while I was at it, I picked something out for you too. You’ve been looking so frail lately. If that’s the case, at least dress properly or something. Even if you don’t like it, just wear it. The stuff you usually wear is too expensive for me to afford….”
When I tore open the wrapping, my fingers brushed against a soft-textured summer cardigan.
I hadn’t expected something like this at all, so for a long moment, I could only stare between the cardigan and Cha Jungwoo’s face.
Once again, my patience was being tested.
You really… Do I have to keep holding back? Can’t I just push forward the way I am? An impatience so sharp it made everything I’d endured until now feel meaningless rose inside me.
The way he looked at me as if bracing for the possibility that I might not like the gift. The corners of his mouth twitching, unable to hide his embarrassment.
Even the tension plainly visible in his hands—Cha Jungwoo’s very existence drove me crazy.
“…How long do you think I can keep holding back?”
“Huh? What did you say?”
Even as I hoped he’d heard me, I also prayed he hadn’t. To suppress the crooked yearning swelling inside me, I let a faint smile curve my lips.
The deep dimple in my cheek was one of the things Cha Jungwoo liked. I smiled and smiled again, for a long while—so he could feel relieved, so he could trust me.
“It’s nothing. Thanks. I’ll wear it.”
Through my cool cheek, I felt the warmth of Cha Jungwoo’s hand. I liked the way he gently stroked me, so I subtly tilted my head into his touch.
It felt as though the area around my chest was burning. If one could suffocate from the emotion called love, I thought this might be what it felt like.
***
Did I approach him too hastily? I stared blankly at the seat beside me, now eerily empty.
I had endured that noisy crowd just to stay by Cha Jungwoo’s side. And now, there was no one next to me.
After glancing at the scattered drunks still lingering, my eyes caught the silhouette flickering beyond the door.
…Kang Taeyoon. Irritated at seeing Cha Jungwoo so adored, I’d acted a little petty—but he was the one who couldn’t stand to watch and ended up ruining the mood.
Well, and behind him, that guy must’ve been there too.
The one behind the suspicious behavior. In the space where Cha Jungwoo and Kang Taeyoon had been standing, the so-called main character of tonight’s gathering was seated.
Go Heemin—the infuriating bastard who, even while chatting surrounded by people, kept glancing this way.
Whether intentional or not, having something snatched from your grasp felt filthy. And if that something was Cha Jungwoo, there was no way I could let it slide.
I knew Kang Taeyoon was crazy about Go Heemin, but I hadn’t expected him to help in this way. It left a distinctly unpleasant taste.
And that posture earlier…. The scene of him bracing a hand above the door, half blocking Cha Jungwoo’s body, replayed in my mind over and over.
If there was even the slightest possibility, I had to shut it down. I was in no position to watch even the smallest sprout take root.
If Kang Taeyoon was someone with the potential to bloom….
“Still, isn’t confessing today a bit too fast? Why don’t you try flirting first?”
“Yeah, get his number first. That sunbae seems nice. Just ask him something casually and start talking—you’ll get close in no time.”
“Yeah, I was thinking that.”
Someone who’d already stepped into the light caught my eye. Lee Chae-won, was it? A first-year I’d looked into after running into her in the department club room.
She didn’t seem especially close to Go Heemin. But through a few well-connected classmates, she’d managed to attend this gathering.
“Then I’ll head over first.”
“Huh? Weren’t you going to wait and go together when sunbae comes?”
“It’s okay. If he looks for me, tell him I went ahead.”
From not far away, I watched Lee Chae-won speaking to her friends. Whatever had her so pleased, she fussed with her clothes and walked off in quick, eager steps.
By whose permission? I didn’t even bother hiding my smirk now. Arms crossed, head lowered, I laughed for a long moment before exhaling the breath I’d been holding.
“Ah.”
My expression hardened as I tracked where she’d disappeared around the corner.
I need to crush it before it grows. The thought echoed louder and louder in my mind.
Rising from the sofa I’d been leaning against, I started walking.
My destination was where Cha Jungwoo and Lee Chae-won were supposed to meet. I intended to ensure the two of them never met.
Coveting something you shouldn’t—that was her crime.
***
“Jungwoo sunba—…Oh?”
“Hi.”
Lee Chae-won stood in the space in front of the restroom beyond the corner. When she lifted her face at the sound of footsteps, I caught the flicker of expectation there—and it irritated me.
If it were up to me, I’d deal with this quickly and go back. But it felt necessary to leave a proper warning.
That way, she wouldn’t recklessly confess or whatever nonsense she was planning. The thought alone made my insides churn; I ground my teeth to endure it.
At my appearance, Lee Chae-won looked thoroughly flustered. Maybe she’d mistaken me for someone heading to the restroom. She took a step back and bowed slightly.
“Um, no.”
“…Excuse me?”
“I’m not here for the restroom.”
“…Oh.”
…Perfume. The distance between us had narrowed enough that her perfume reached me. Mixed with cosmetics and the alcohol she’d drunk earlier, the scent made my stomach lurch.
Had she seen the coldness in my eyes? Tension flashed across her face.
…Quick on the uptake. Then she should’ve realized from the start.
There are people you can touch—and people you absolutely can’t.
Smiling any further would be meaningless. My expression hardened instantly. I had only one reason for being here.
“If you want him, you’ll have to deal with me first.”
“…What?”
I was telling her she wasn’t the only one who wanted Cha Jungwoo.
“Didn’t you understand? Why pretend you don’t know?”
Seeing her flustered expression made a laugh spill out of me automatically.
Did she think I wouldn’t notice? Instinct or whatever it was—this girl had already roughly sensed how I felt.
The day we’d visited the department club room, Lee Chae-won had looked back at me. That wasn’t the look of someone glancing at her crush’s friend. It was the face of a rival—filled with unease and jealousy.
There was no way I wouldn’t know. It was an expression I often wore myself.
Whenever Cha Jungwoo was with someone else, or when someone showed interest in him—that was the face I’d make.
She must not have been conscious of it. At my explanation, Lee Chae-won’s eyes trembled.
She turned pale—almost bluish—and clutched the hem of her skirt. It didn’t seem necessary to say more.
You don’t want to share him either, right? Thinking that was enough, I turned to leave.
“…What are you going to do if I spread rumors?”
Interesting. From her quivering voice, it didn’t sound entirely sincere.
Since she was lashing out desperately, I slowly turned my head back, indulging her.
“Then I’d welcome it.”
To be isolated in a world of just Cha Jungwoo and me—that was exactly what I wanted.
Cha Jungwoo was too kind. If I were hurt, he wouldn’t be able to abandon me. He would stay by my side forever.
And this time, it wouldn’t even be by my will—it would be because of someone else.
Avoiding resentment while keeping Cha Jungwoo in my grasp? The most perfect scenario in the world.
I could’ve done it myself, but I hadn’t. If she was offering to do it first, I almost felt grateful.
It even sounded like she understood the restraint I’d been maintaining for Cha Jungwoo’s sake.
At that, Lee Chae-won’s complexion turned from pale to nearly blue. Her breathing grew ragged, as though she was struggling for air.
“…Does sunbae know about this too?”
Perhaps it hadn’t surfaced yet—but maybe, on some level, Cha Jungwoo sensed it too.
“Who knows.”
I answered vaguely, and her face twisted instantly.
Tilting my head as if to ask whether she had anything else to say, I watched as she stepped back.
“When Jungwoo comes, manage your expression. I want to stay the gentle, pretty one.”
That must’ve hit her hard. She hurried past me.
From her lowered head and trembling shoulders, it seemed I wouldn’t need to worry about any loose talk.
“…What a shame.”
I’d been prepared to accept anything. If it was with Cha Jungwoo, even a catastrophic ending would’ve been fine.
No—if I was honest, it might’ve been more appealing than this endless waiting.
A brutal patience, known only to me.
I hadn’t realized my endurance ran this deep—until Cha Jungwoo.
The truly cruel one wasn’t me. It was Cha Jungwoo.
***
Quite some time had passed since I’d warned Lee Chae-won. Cha Jungwoo remained just as oblivious—and just as kind.
As I checked the schedule and saw final exams looming, I wondered if this was how the semester would end.
It wasn’t like I intended to stay apart during break. I planned to claim the seat beside him by any excuse necessary.
Thinking it was time to start laying the groundwork, I went to find the classroom where Cha Jungwoo should be. There was less than a minute left before class started. Yet among the undergraduates rushing in, I didn’t see him.
Unease pricked at me as I peered inside the classroom. He wasn’t there either.
“Did something happen?”
Based on his usual behavior, it didn’t make sense. With his diligent nature, he wouldn’t skip class without reason.
The only times Cha Jungwoo acted like this were when something had happened around him—or when he was under psychological pressure.
Why? I didn’t know, but a chill crept down my spine. Even as I tried to soothe myself that it was just my oversensitive imagination, I couldn’t stop the pounding in my chest.
No. We were in contact just fine until last night. Turning my back on the students heading into the lecture hall, I left the building. I pulled my phone from my pocket and stood there, hesitating for a long time.
Oop! Is this when Jungwoo started avoiding him????