Watching me, Go Heemin set his empty glass down on the table and asked in a low voice.
I was about to stand up, thinking it wasn’t worth listening to, but the sharper-than-expected words made me turn my head toward him.
“Min Siheon, what exactly are you trying to do right now?”
What am I trying to do? A scoff slipped out at the ridiculous question.
Since Cha Jungwoo had already left, there was no reason to hide anything, so I threw a mocking smile at Go Heemin.
There was no need to lie here. More than anything, I didn’t want to deny even a fragment of my feelings for him.
With an indifferent face, I stared toward the door Cha Jungwoo had exited through and answered Go Heemin’s question. It was also a way of saying: just hear the answer and be satisfied, because I didn’t have time.
“I’m waiting for him.”
Waiting for him to be ready.
Go Heemin’s expression turned strange after hearing my words.
“…You’re surprisingly romantic.”
“Honestly, if this were the usual Min Siheon temper, you wouldn’t have gotten any mercy. Should I call this good luck? Or bad luck? Well, that’s probably why I like the guy too. …Hey, not ‘like’ in the same way you do.”
It seemed Go Heemin had been wary, thinking I was just messing with Cha Jungwoo as a joke.
Even now that he knew I was serious, the caution didn’t vanish completely—but his attitude was better than before.
If we were done talking, I wanted to get up and go. Thanks to Go Heemin practically digging his own grave with his words, an opportunity opened up for me to head to Cha Jungwoo.
Sorry, but I’m in a hurry. The memory of grabbing his shoulder—and of clutching his wrist—kept replaying before my eyes.
And when I saw the side of his body revealed by the shirt I’d tugged…. I clenched my teeth as impatience surged.
It didn’t seem like the best idea to meet him right now, but I had no intention of changing my mind this late.
Please let the others be with him. There was nothing more frightening—or more thrilling—than the thought of Cha Jungwoo standing alone in a dark alley.
Kang Taeyoon… that bastard and I were both hopelessly obsessed with someone.
***
Somehow, things had felt quieter this year. A dry laugh escaped me at the gossip I overheard through the wall.
Where did the rumor even start? Various faces crossed my mind.
Maybe upperclassmen I’d clashed with. In my hazy memories, there was at least one person who’d been desperate to tear me down. I’d long since given up trying to narrow down suspects.
Standing in the smoking booth outside the bar where I’d come looking for Cha Jungwoo, I found myself wondering how he would react.
“Hope he doesn’t get influenced.”
The thought of soft-hearted Cha Jungwoo listening to rumors about me bothered me.
Judging by his usual behavior, he didn’t seem like the type to believe strangers easily—but I still worried this incident might become a fuse that set off something bigger.
There were people like Go Heemin who wanted to separate me from Cha Jungwoo, so even the smallest speck felt like a threat.
After everything I’d endured, everything I’d held back—I couldn’t let some random vermin ruin it all.
Just as I decided I should step out at the right moment and block Cha Jungwoo’s eyes and ears—
His footsteps, which had paused beyond the dim alleyway, began moving again.
“You three were having quite an interesting conversation.”
The scene that unfolded left me completely speechless.
That gentle guy who rarely showed anger was openly furious.
Cha Jungwoo even slung an arm over the shoulder of the person he’d been swearing at, pressing the mocking group back.
“Was it Gwak Hyun-cheol…? Hyun-cheol, I get that you’re excited about campus life now that you’re an adult, but maybe fix that habit of trash-talking people without knowing the facts. This is a university, not a middle school classroom.”
Thump—thump—my pulse pounded, heat rushing through my entire body.
“Oh, and I’m actually pretty close with Min Siheon. So if you’re gonna spread rumors, how about this one instead: Business major Cha Jungwoo calls out and rips into anyone spreading bullshit.”
Seeing Cha Jungwoo criticize them in his usual gentle tone made my heart race wildly.
I looked at my fingertips, flushed red with rushing blood, and the corners of my mouth lifted.
Was this what people meant by exhilaration? Cha Jungwoo was standing on my side.
Even though the rumors were more than suspicious enough, there wasn’t a trace of doubt in his expression.
He worried about me even when I wasn’t there, finished dealing with the aftermath himself, and even said they should talk about him instead if they wanted to gossip—words I’d never imagined hearing.
Just how far are you willing to go? I was amazed that one person could shake another this completely.
It felt absurd, like the entire world I’d lived in until now was being denied.
“I’ll let it slide today. Head back in. And fix your expressions before you go inside. Hyung doesn’t want his drink ruined.”
Now I didn’t even feel like hiding my presence anymore.
Listening to Cha Jungwoo’s final words as he drove the troublemakers away, I waited for the right moment to approach him.
With rough shoves to their backs, the guys stumbled out of the alley.
Maybe they were going back to grab their things; I watched them head into the bar. One of them felt my gaze and met my eyes.
“……!”
Shh, stay quiet. Jungwoo let you go, so I’ll let it slide this time too.
I raised a finger to my lips, and with a horrified look, he pushed his group away and vanished from sight.
Maybe because of the small commotion, Cha Jungwoo, still in the alley, noticed me and called out.
Unlike earlier when he’d looked cold and emotionless, he’d returned to his usual gentle expression, already worrying about someone he didn’t even recognize.
“Excuse me.”
As I stepped forward into view, a short gasp escaped Cha Jungwoo.
The concern radiating from him—even in the darkness—felt overwhelming enough to bring me to my knees.
“Ah.”
The headlights of a passing car dimly illuminated his face from behind.
“You… heard everything, didn’t you?”
At his question, I nodded carefully, as if collapsing.
“Yeah.”
I wasn’t the type to miss an opportunity, and after everything that had happened these past few days, I wanted Cha Jungwoo desperately.
Would it be okay to be just a little greedy? In my impatience, I made a pathetic excuse to myself that the careful planning could start tomorrow instead of today.
Anyone in my position, seeing a scene like that, would find it impossible to hold back.
I stepped into the filthy alleyway I normally wouldn’t even glance at.
The dirt and cigarette butts crunching under my shoes didn’t matter at all.
I was consumed by the desire to get closer to the person standing in front of me. Maybe he sensed it, because Cha Jungwoo hesitated and took a step back.
Seriously—no sense at all, yet sharp instincts. Maybe that was why Cha Jungwoo hadn’t belonged to anyone yet, but I couldn’t help feeling dissatisfied.
That should only apply to strangers. I had no intention of being lumped in with them.
Wearing a faint smile he’d once looked at me with pity for, I approached slowly so he wouldn’t notice.
Don’t reject me. Right now, I need you.
I kept moving toward him, silently begging for his sympathy with my whole body.
In the end, soft-hearted Cha Jungwoo stopped trying to avoid me when he saw my face. In the brief moment he let out a sigh, I closed the distance between us in one swift move.
“Jungwoo….”
“Yeah? What is it?”
The emotion I showed him now was the finale of this plan—the blow that would make it impossible for Cha Jungwoo to reject me.
I withdrew the hand I’d been reaching out with, lowered my head, and rested it against his shoulder.
The hunched posture was uncomfortable, but if it let me touch this warm body, I could repeat it as many times as needed.
Watching his neck tremble faintly with tension, I curled my lips into a smile. At the same time, taking advantage of his gentle nature that couldn’t refuse me, I lifted my hand and gripped his shoulder.
Tight— as if compensating for the wrist I’d lost earlier, I clung to Cha Jungwoo with desperate intent. The coolness of his body through the fabric felt intoxicating right now.
“I’m just… exhausted. Let me borrow your arms for a moment.”
Just how kind and warm a person he was. At my words, Cha Jungwoo raised his hand and gently patted my upper arm.
He must’ve been flustered, but he tried not to show it, doing his best to comfort me—and that alone moved me deeply.
Right then, I realized how to approach Cha Jungwoo.
Slowly, subtly—so much that even he wouldn’t notice—I had to seep into him.
If I did that, this beautiful guy would eventually step into my arms on his own. I’d felt it for a while now: even unconsciously, Cha Jungwoo already held some feelings toward me.
So if I nudged him gently without giving him space to deny it, there would be a chance to make him mine.
But today, I didn’t seem to have the patience for that. Holding my breath as impatience surged, I buried my head deeper.
Our chests pressed fully together.
My left arm wrapped around his waist, my right around his arm, pulling him into a tight embrace without a single gap between us.
“…Huh? Hey, hey.”
“Sorry. Just let this one slide.”
Hearing Cha Jungwoo’s trembling voice, I pleaded sincerely for him to let it go just this once.
“…I’m glad you’re here.”
I’ll move slower starting tomorrow, so just let me have things my way today.
As I buried my face into his neck and let out a shallow breath, Cha Jungwoo hesitated and slowly lifted his hands.
Then, gently, he placed his arms around my back.
…You really are.
It felt like the last of my patience had reached its limit.
That night, my feelings for Cha Jungwoo reached their peak.
***
What might’ve been ordinary days for others felt like fierce battles to me. Every day was an exercise in restraint, enduring the unbearable desire for something I wanted too desperately.
Cha Jungwoo didn’t seem uncomfortable with the idea of being with a man, yet he also didn’t seem to view it as something that could involve him personally. Dealing with him felt more difficult than handling a highly cautious animal.
How could I make him believe that his life wouldn’t be complete without me?
After long deliberation, I decided to try touching Cha Jungwoo’s awareness.
I’m loving this pov omg really can’t wait to read his pov during the drunken confession *U*