Chapter 16
The densely embedded white traces resembled a stone path. But they weren’t as friendly as a stone path; they had sharp, protruding edges. Moreover, one side was white while the other was a gloomy gray.
I rubbed the traces embedded in the ground with my toes and looked ahead. A half-broken chair, a car hood that had become the final trace of a vehicle, a floral patterned cloth fluttering hidden among the dirt. And concrete fragments filled everywhere like graves.
During our journey, I had seen traces of buildings sunk beneath trees, but none as vivid as this. At a loss for words, I picked up a piece of concrete and rubbed it between my fingers. The cold, bumpy surface clung to my fingertips.
“There aren’t many trees here.”
At Kim Doyun’s words, I brushed off the concrete and looked around. The trees weren’t exactly few, but compared to other places, there weren’t as many. That’s probably why the traces of buildings were relatively intact. But I couldn’t decide whether to feel relieved or saddened by this sight. Seeing my ambiguous expression, Kim Doyun approached.
“Are you hurt?”
“Ah. No, I’m fine.”
I hurriedly dusted myself off. After struggling and rolling around so much, I thought I might look quite dirty. Surely I didn’t look injured just because I was too dirty? After a moment of consideration, I spoke up.
“By the way, Doyun… you often ask if I’m hurt or in pain. Do I look that weak to you?”
I had injured my leg when we first met, and compared to Kim Doyun, I was quite clumsy, so I could understand the question. But being asked so repeatedly made me feel like a sick stray dog in need of attention.
Do I really look that pitiful? I rubbed my still sturdy limbs and looked at Kim Doyun. He seemed a bit taken aback as he brushed his hair back.
“…You don’t look weak. It’s just that when you’re standing like this, you seem a bit strained.”
My contemplation must have appeared that way to Kim Doyun. I smiled awkwardly and rubbed the corner of my mouth. Concrete powder and dirt covered my face, which I quickly brushed off.
“I’m fine. I’m perfectly okay. I was just thinking… this doesn’t seem like the place where I used to live.”
I kicked at the concrete by my feet.
“I can see the fragments, but no people, only monsters… So I was thinking. Maybe, like Alice in Wonderland, the entire hospital dropped into another world. If that’s true, then we’ve fallen into a truly terrible world. How could we end up in such a place, I wondered… But look at this.”
I pointed to a spot a bit farther from where we were. There, despite their smaller number, many trees stood intact. Though they cast deep shadows, there was less worry about the creatures compared to other places, as the shadows didn’t connect due to the scattered placement of the trees. And beneath the branches that hung like canopies, concrete was piled up like mountains.
“The traces are becoming more apparent. If this were another world, there wouldn’t be such concrete. Or broken teacups. Surely, there wouldn’t be a Starbucks logo in another world, right?”
Under the concrete I had kicked, a mug with a logo was visible. The logo of a coffee shop that used to catch my eye everywhere I went now felt both welcome and bitter. And I also felt a slight regret.
If even one intact building remained, we could have retrieved something. How could trees grow to make everything like this? Couldn’t they have left even a convenience store? As I thought this far, I knocked my forehead with my fist. Even though it was sad, the fact that such greed welled up made me feel very strange.
I wish it were another world. Then I could long for a home to return to and believe that my friends and family were still alive. The conversation with my friend in the dream kept circling in my head. ‘You won’t see them.’
Seeing me unable to continue speaking and just breathing heavily, Kim Doyun came over and patted my shoulder.
“It’ll be alright. People would have evacuated to safe places. It’s just that the situation is difficult, slowing down the rescue efforts. If we hold on a little longer, we could be rescued soon.”
“I suppose so?”
“Yes.”
As always, Kim Doyun gave me a reassuring smile and held my hand firmly.
But I couldn’t continue to enjoy holding his hand. After being comforted by Kim Doyun, uncomfortable thoughts arose. Memories I had temporarily forgotten appeared, waving. Ordinary incidents might be easily forgotten, but how could that incident be easily forgotten?
I slowly pulled my hand away and pretended to look around. I could feel Kim Doyun’s gaze on the back of my head. It felt like being stabbed with an awl. Just in case, I turned my head slightly and met Kim Doyun’s eyes directly. I smiled awkwardly.
“…The weather is nice, isn’t it?”
“Yes. It is.”
Kim Doyun answered my question cheerfully. But I couldn’t find the next words to say, so I stammered, and Kim Doyun watched me without erasing his smile. Instead of his usual pleasant smile, his slightly narrowed eyes were filled with amused laughter.
I rubbed my forehead and sighed.
“I’m sorry. I wasn’t trying to avoid you…”
“Is it because of yesterday?”
Kim Doyun threw a direct question. I closed my mouth tight, and Kim Doyun waited for my response. I fiddled with the tips of my fingers that had held Kim Doyun’s hand and smiled awkwardly.
“Well, I mean… yes.”
I wasn’t good with words and lacked the cunning to deceive others. So I admitted honestly. That it was because of yesterday. Kim Doyun rubbed his chin after hearing my words.
“As I said yesterday, I don’t like men.”
“…”
“All the people I’ve met so far have been women, and even if the world returns to normal, I have no intention of dating men.”
“…Yes.”
“But it might be hard to believe just by words. And there’s no way to reassure you…”
Saying that, he tilted his head slightly. His gaze, scanning me up and down, made me feel somewhat uneasy. As I was just swallowing repeatedly, Kim Doyun slowly approached. His towering height felt somewhat threatening as he came close. I had never felt this way about our size difference when with Kim Doyun…
A deep shadow formed over me. Although I’m not short, Kim Doyun was much taller and bigger than me, so it became quite dark when he blocked the sunlight. I slowly raised my head to look at Kim Doyun’s face.
With the sun behind him, he was squinting his eyes.
“Maybe we should try it once.”
“What???”
Seeing my alarmed reaction, Kim Doyun covered his mouth. Though his large hand made his mouth disappear, I could clearly see his eyes. Kim Doyun was genuinely amused.
“I’m joking.”
I thought he was a kind and dependable person… I didn’t know Kim Doyun had this side to him. The aspects that were being added as time passed were new, but I couldn’t receive this particular aspect with joy right now.
Our relationship wasn’t comfortable enough yet for such high-level jokes. So his sudden pranks seemed like mischief, or displeasure expressed over an unpleasant situation. Could it be because I was avoiding him? Of course, Kim Doyun didn’t seem like that kind of person, but…
I reconsidered Kim Doyun’s situation. Getting… erect in front of another man was really uncomfortable, but thinking about it, it wasn’t entirely impossible. At that time, I had clung to Kim Doyun for a while, saying I was scared. That might have caused friction on Kim Doyun’s lower part… I bowed my head and shook it.
“…I’m sorry. I won’t avoid you.”
Kim Doyun made a strange expression as he watched me bow my head apologetically. He removed the hand covering his mouth and stood with his arms crossed. Despite our hardships, our appearances were quite shabby, but Kim Doyun was relatively clean. So… the sight of a handsome man standing with his arms crossed was quite pleasing to the eye. Without realizing it, I started to copy Kim Doyun but then stealthily moved my arms away.
“That wasn’t my intention…”
As I was imagining what I would look like standing next to Kim Doyun with my arms crossed, I heard his voice. Kim Doyun looked at me and then smiled brightly.
“Will you really not avoid me? Even in the future?”
“What? Yes…”
“I understand.”
Then he moved on with big strides. I couldn’t understand Kim Doyun’s question, so my steps slowed down in confusion. After hurriedly catching up, I asked him what he meant, but Kim Doyun only gave vague answers like “well” and “later,” without providing a proper explanation. I was anxious with an inexplicable foreboding, but Kim Doyun just kept smiling.
After passing through the concrete graveyard and walking back and forth, we were greeted by another large concrete structure. Only the outer shell of a large building remained, using trees as supports to stand. It looked dangerously precarious, as if it would collapse along with the trees if lightly touched.
I carefully stepped back and looked around elsewhere. Trees stood one by one in front of traces of buildings. Some were straight, others were bent. The trees, standing as if looking down, mocking, or pitying, seemed like gravestones for the vanished buildings.
The sight was distressing. I didn’t believe that all people had safely escaped in such a chaotic situation. Some would have been crushed under buildings, and others would be quietly wrapped beneath trees. I wish these trees were memorials for the deceased.
“Seongho.”
Kim Doyun called me and pointed to a place. Looking where he indicated, I could see the edge of a building beyond the branches.
I assumed, as usual, that it would be a collapsed building. But as I lowered my gaze, I was surprised to see a relatively intact structure, and I looked at Kim Doyun in astonishment.
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
