The White Roses of Shima (1)

As soon as the holidays began, the angels all had free time. The streets bustled with activity, full of groups of friends and pairs of lovers. Yet no matter how crowded it became, Shima remained a mist-shrouded holy land, unlike the noise of Jerusalem or the radiant brilliance of Sancta Faylia.

The angels emerging from the cathedral hadn’t gone far and were still in white robes, so Lucifer and I went unnoticed.

All along the way, I couldn’t wrap my head around things. In all my previous relationships, whenever the girl showed even the slightest initiative, I would launch a fierce pursuit and win her over in no time. But ever since that kiss from Lucifer, I’d been so nervous I couldn’t even lift my head. And yet, the corners of my mouth kept twitching into a foolish grin. Perhaps I’d kept my head down too long, because Lucifer finally tilted his head and gently asked, “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing!”

To ask “Why did you kiss me?” at a moment like this would be too embarrassingly naïve. But in front of Lucifer, I really didn’t dare make any move, afraid that even the slightest misstep might make me lose him.

Except the longer we spent together, the harder it became to control my feelings. As we walked along the snowy-white, crystalline road, past white roses shimmering with faint starlight, I suddenly felt an overwhelming urge to hug him and kiss him. But I forced the feeling down.

He led me to the entrance of the Academy of the Seventh and pointed to the Tower of Luminescence: “Head there first—I’ll come in a moment.”

I nodded and reluctantly turned away, but I kept pausing after every few steps. Eventually, I couldn’t help myself. I turned back to look.

Lucifer was still standing there, waving at me. “Go on.”

“Don’t you have something to take care of?”

“Mhm. You go ahead first.”

I briskly walked three or four steps, then stopped again and turned back.

Seeing he still hadn’t moved, my legs acted on their own—I ran straight back to him. Before Lucifer could ask, “What is it?” I had already cupped his face and pecked him quickly. When I saw him blink in surprise, I grew even more flustered. And, after a moment’s hesitation, did it again.

This time, it lasted longer, at least three full seconds against his lips. But no matter how flustered I was, no matter how strong the feelings of affection, the fear that I might be overstepping and get rejected never left my mind. So once those three seconds passed, I couldn’t hold on any longer and let go. Then, I met his gaze. It was intensely serious.

…Did I go too far?

I hesitated, unsure whether I should back off, apologize for being presumptuous, or boldly demand, “Why is it okay for you to kiss me, but not the other way around?”—when suddenly, he pulled me in by the waist.

I looked down in alarm to see where his hand had grabbed me, but then his fingers tilted my chin up, and his kiss came down hard.

In that instant, it was like I had been electrocuted, numbness shooting down from my nerves to both legs. For a moment I froze, stunned, until he pressed me up against the column at the entrance to the Academy and began hungrily nibbling and teasing my lips, as if trying to break through. I gasped sharply, my lips parting, and he slipped inside for a deeper kiss. The moment our tongues touched, every shred of rationality finally shattered. I clung to his neck and began to kiss him back, just as fervently.

Like two wild beasts starved through an entire winter, we clung to each other with desperate hunger, our breath ragged and tangled between our lips.

It was something so strange, so consuming. Only when I kissed him could I forget who we were. Only then did all the towering walls between us seem to disappear… To adore someone this much. It felt as though I had loved him for a very, very long time.

…

The lingering warmth from kissing Lucifer hadn’t faded even by the time I entered the Academy of the Seventh. Passing by several ornate and extravagant mirrors, I unintentionally caught my reflection, only to see what looked like a steamed shrimp. While trying to cool my face with the back of my hand, I kept replaying what Lucifer had said to me right before the kiss ended:

“Come to the Hall of Splendor tonight. We’ll continue.”

Did I want to go to the Hall of Splendor? Of course I did.

What did I want to do there? Naturally, whatever Lucifer meant by “continue.”

And what did “continue” mean? Obviously…

At that thought, my heart started pounding so wildly it felt like it might interfere with my breathing. Even rubbing my hands together left them slick with sweat. Could what I saw in the Mirror of Thunder actually happen? Was that truly my future? …The angel with dazed eyes and foggy mind beneath Lucifer wasn’t Isar, but me?

That thought only made my heart race faster. I briskly walked a few laps around the corridor, only to come face-to-face again with Reynor’s statue, his left hand holding scales, his right a sword, gazing far into the distance. The deep-set hollows of his eyes seemed especially solemn, as if they carried the full weight of a hero’s glorious and sorrowful past.

My head was no longer clear. Absentmindedly, I poked at the scales in his hand to see if they would move. But the moment my fingertip touched the balance, a thin layer of golden dust suddenly spread across it.

Curious, I touched it again.

Layer upon layer of gold dust spilled down, growing thicker with each passing second. The portrait-covered walls lit up, and waves of dazzling gold light surged outward like a golden tide, bursting forth in brilliant flares.

It was magical. I had no idea anything here could glow. It must be worth a lot. Surprised no one’s ever tried to steal it.

I reached out to touch the sword in his hand.

With a soft bang, a flame ignited in his palm. Vivid crimson blazed through the great hall, casting shimmering red ripples along the walls like molten crystal waves. I quickly extended my hand, then drew it back, but felt no heat. Tentatively, I placed my hand directly in the fire. Still, nothing.

I gripped the hilt and drew the sword.

In an instant, the entire hall was lit with piercing radiance. The vividly colored walls seemed ablaze, fire spirits dancing in their glow. The heavy silver-gray sword now shone a deep scarlet. I flicked my wrist. The sword carved a blazing arc through the air, leaving behind a trail of fiery patterns, finally halting mid-swing.

I couldn’t help but move with it, as if I were wielding a pillar of flame.

When I finally returned the sword to Reynor’s hand and turned around, I saw Lucifer standing behind me.

The calm I’d barely managed to regain began to boil again. Under his gaze, I walked over a bit awkwardly and stuck out my tongue, muttering, “Sorry, I probably shouldn’t have gone around —”

“It’s all right.” Before I could even finish, he took out a scroll and placed it in my hand.

“Once school starts, present this for admission. You can choose any class under the seventh-tier Battle Angel division. Sword, Bow, Command, and Leadership. On the battlefield, the first two are typically frontline roles. Most Powers choose one of those. The latter two stay at the rear: one handles defense, the other command.”

“I’ll go with Sword,” I said.

“Why?”

“I heard from others that although many choose the sword, it’s also the quickest route to earning merits and promotion. I want to live in Sancta Faylia and gain the right to enter the Sanctum.”

“…Why?”

“I’m not particularly aiming to be some Favored Angel.” I smiled. “I want to stand beside you.”

Lucifer let out a silent sigh, reaching out to gently stroke my hair. “Silly child.”

“I’m not a child. Haven’t you heard? I unleashed enough power at Divine Law to destroy an entire citadel. Hey, if that’s true, I should be able to become a six-winged angel in no time…”

“That’s enough.” His hand paused mid-motion, then slowly lowered. “I’m a little tired. I’ll head back first.”

……

Ruthfel wasn’t home.

After I got back, I rolled around on the bed dozens of times, completely preoccupied with the matter of Lucifer asking me to go to the Hall of Splendor. I knew that when it came to love, one had to master the art of playing hard to get. Even that scoundrel Azazel had said as much.

But after washing up and climbing into bed, switching the lights on and off over and over again, I simply couldn’t sleep. My head kept replaying that French kiss with Lucifer.

I grabbed the scroll from the table and started reading. I couldn’t make out a single word, but just knowing it was written by Lucifer made me want to hug the scroll to my chest.

I read through it word by word.

His handwriting was elegant and flowing, like that of an artist. It looked strangely familiar.

Soon, I started spacing out again.

Lucifer… must have some feelings for me, right?

After countless rounds of bed-rolling, I finally got up, got dressed, clipped on the silver chain, turned off the lights, locked the door, and flew out from the balcony.

By now, the sun had already left Shima. On the lower levels of Heaven, it must be night.

I bought a fatigue relief potion at the largest apothecary in Shima. Remembering that Lucifer had mentioned earlier in the day that he was feeling a bit tired, I figured I’d bring him the medicine—just to check in on him. That wouldn’t seem too forward… right?

The wind rushed past as I followed the steps toward the Seventh Heaven, the sound of my footsteps over golden bricks and rose petals as crisp as crushing snowflakes.

Shima gradually shrank and blurred in the distance. I spread my wings, pierced through the clouds, and entered the Seventh Heaven—the Celestial Capital, Sancta Faylia. Since the Seventh Heaven housed only this one city, Sancta Faylia’s scale was beyond comparison. And within such a colossal city, the Seraphic Palace still stood out, commanding attention without exception.

I drew a breath, bathed in swirling petals and beams of light, and flew toward it.

Passing towering columns that seemed to reach beyond the heavens, cascades of water, glittering pearl blossoms brushing against my face, and golden light streaming through the clouds in shifting waves—all of it filled my vision. The outer perimeter of the Sanctum required walking, so I landed and picked up my pace. The structure before me soared into the sky, and the stairway leading up to the Seraphic Palace stretched endlessly.

Step by step, I climbed, growing more aware of how small and insignificant I was.

Lucifer was the Right Hand of God, second only to the Creator Himself. The place he lived was already the highest point in the universe.

Had I… overestimated myself?

I shook my head. No. I couldn’t let my thoughts run wild.

There were strict hierarchies in Heaven, a rigid structure riddled with injustices. The nobility often oppressed the common angels… but those people were fools. Lucifer was beautiful, confident, noble, yet he never looked down on anyone.

He wasn’t far from me.

Standing at the entrance of the Hall of Splendor, dwarfed by a door hundreds of times my height, I took a deep breath and stepped inside.

A few angels tried to stop me, but the moment I showed them the silver chain Ruthfel had given me, they let me through.

In the vast hall filled with priceless, ornate statues and lavish, dazzling chandeliers, I walked for a long time before finally reaching the entrance to the bedchamber. Just then, several angels stopped me. I showed them the silver chain again. One of them, however, looked awkward. “Please wait,” he said. “His Highness is… currently occupied.”

I had almost forgotten how busy Lucifer was—this really wasn’t the best time to come. Just as I was about to turn and leave, intermittent moans drifted out from within the bedchamber. It was a woman’s voice—tender, seductive, almost boneless in its sweetness. She seemed to be trying her best to stifle her cries, but even the slightest pause was quickly filled by even more arousing sounds.

The angel guarding the door looked even more uncomfortable. After a pause, he said, “How about this. Please wait a moment.”

From where I stood, I could see him slowly approach the door, kneel on the smooth, gleaming floor, head slightly bowed, and say, “Your Highness, a Virtue has come to see you.”

There was no answer for a long time—only the woman’s trembling, fragile voice. She teetered between agony and ecstasy, repeatedly calling out the same thing: “Lord Lucifer… Your Highness…”

I silently stared at my own shadow on the floor, no longer able to lift my gaze toward the lofty ceilings.

Then suddenly, at some point, the woman’s moans turned into a near-hysterical cry: “Your Highness, I’m going mad… Please… save me… save me…” A scream followed, and then only ragged, dying breaths remained.

Lucifer said something in a low voice, too soft for me to catch, but it was gentle.

Like how he had spoken to me.

The bottle of potion I had prepared slipped from my hand and hit the floor, almost cracking the milky-white stone beneath it.

I kept my head down, hardly daring to breathe. Several long minutes passed before Lucifer finally emerged, his clothes half-draped over him, and stopped in front of me.

“Something the matter?”

I nodded, then shook my head, and finally nodded again. I picked up the medicine bottle from the ground, forced myself to step forward, and knelt on one knee before him, both hands offering it up.

“Your Highness mentioned being tired earlier today,” I said. “I specially bought this and brought it here. You must be exhausted from your endless responsibilities… Please take care of your health.”

This speech was made up on the spot, gentler and more deferential than what I’d originally planned. Lucifer would surely like it.

Time seemed to stretch indefinitely. He reached out, took the bottle, and remained motionless. I looked up with a soft smile, “Thank you, Your Highness.”

Lucifer leaned against the doorframe, head lowered, staring at the bottle, clearly distracted.

“Then I’ll take my leave,” I said.

“Mhm.”

I stood up and took a few steps back. After a moment’s hesitation, I said, “Your Highness, I have a question.”

“Go ahead.”

“If I had arrived earlier today… would the one inside have been me?”

Lucifer didn’t respond.

I swallowed hard, telling myself that the best thing to do was to turn around and walk away. Just leave. Leave… But in the end, I couldn’t help asking, “So… anyone could do, right?”

Lucifer stepped forward. The nearby angels instinctively took a step back.

At the Tower of Luminescence, I’d said so many foolish things. I even dreamed of becoming a Seraph, just to be worthy of him.

How utterly stupid I’d been.

I let out a short laugh. “Back when Lord Metatron approached me, he only said one thing—‘for fun’… And Your Highness truly is refined. Even for something like a plaything… you still take the time to cultivate a mood. I’m really sorry for not arriving on time today.”

Suddenly, Lucifer grabbed my wrist and yanked me a step closer. But before I could react, he shoved me back—hard.

“I don’t know what you’re trying to say,” he said coldly. “But Isar, you must be terribly mistaken. I never once intended to cultivate a mood with you. When I said ‘continue’ earlier, it meant exactly what you think. I wanted you as a plaything.”

I could imagine just how pale my face must have looked.

“Is that so? Then this isn’t a misunderstanding on my part at all. A plaything… is it really necessary to kiss like that?”

“Only women think of sex and kissing as separate acts. I’ve kissed every plaything I’ve had before. There’s really no need for you to overthink it.”

Those words didn’t just make me feel foolish—they humiliated me to the core.

“Alright, I get it.” I shrugged, though my mind was in complete chaos. I don’t even know what I said.

“If that’s how Your Highness sees it, then so be it. Nothing more to say. It’s better this way. Now I won’t read too much into it, and I can give up early.”

When I stepped out of the Hall of Splendor, the sunlight struck me so sharply I couldn’t keep my eyes open. I looked down at the long staircase beneath my feet, a dazzling golden slope that seemed endless, and felt a wave of dizziness wash over me.

I descended with caution, pausing for a long time after each step, afraid that one misstep would send me plunging straight into hell.

My nose began to sting. I sniffed, lifted my head, and forced myself to smile.

It’s nothing. Really. Just a heartbreak. I’ve been through far too many of those already. This time is……no different from the others.

This golden world of a golden age was never mine to begin with.

Beautiful Sancta Faylia, I won’t be coming back.

……

Looking back on everything with Lucifer, I later realized that he had hurt me far more times than he’d made me happy. I don’t know why, but each time he wounded me, the despair felt absolute. I’d swear to myself I’d never see him again in this lifetime. And yet, given time, the only thing I could remember was his gentleness.

It was precisely that fleeting tenderness in our moments together that made it impossible for me to let go.

People often asked me, confused, why I loved him so deeply. After all, we weren’t even together for very long. They couldn’t understand, and I was never good at explaining myself.

Everyone, at some point in their life, will fall in love with many people. You win some, lose some.

But there is always that one person, just one, who will make you give up your principles, your pride, and endure the mockery of others. And after that one person, every other affair becomes something you can laugh about and dust off.

Perhaps, this is a kind of love that borders on a curse.

Because once Lucifer loves you, you’ll never truly be able to walk away.