Mañjusaka (1)

Lucifer used some kind of magic to airlift Caro downstairs and restrain him, then carried me back to Sancta Faylia.

“That was absolutely revolting. If you had come any later, I probably wouldn’t have been able to eat for days,” I said.

Truth be told, the aftermath of nearly being assaulted wasn’t what left me the most shaken. It was those three words Lucifer had said to me that sent me spiraling. I didn’t remember Ruthfel until we were nearly at the Hall of Splendor.

“Oh no, Farthead…”

“No more thinking about others. You’re the one who matters most.” He directly turned to someone nearby and ordered, “Go run a bath.”

“You can put me down, you know.”

“If I do, it’ll hurt.”

And with that, I had no choice but to let him carry me into the bathroom.

As we stepped inside, I couldn’t help but gasp. The bathroom was filled with misty steam. Shimmering bubbles drifted above a floor of gleaming gold. The platinum faucet was inlaid with cat’s eye gems while the bathtub was nearly the size of a small swimming pool, its surface scattered with red rose petals.

The atmosphere was undeniably dreamy… but also strangely familiar.

Lucifer set me down gently, reached out to test the water temperature, then started to untie the robe wrapped around me. I instinctively covered myself.

He glanced down. “Don’t be shy. Sooner or later, I’ll see everything.”

“N-no, I wasn’t—” I fumbled out, quickly stripping and jumping into the water. A sharp yelp escaped me as the pain from my wounds flared up. Even so, I blushed furiously and said, “You should go. Let me bathe alone.”

“Let’s do it together.”

I shook my head vigorously, splashing water everywhere.

That’s when it hit me.

This place is the one from the Mirror of Thunder…

Lucifer pulled out a slim cord and tied his hair back over one shoulder, then slowly began to undress. I had feel nauseated at the sight of those lecherous men, even if they were angels—but watching Lucifer undress, I nearly sprayed blood from my nose.

He swam toward me, brushing his damp hair back to reveal that perfectly sculpted face. I had to fight the impulse to throw myself at him, instead sinking slowly beneath the surface of the water. He slipped one hand around my waist, lifting me slightly, and I panicked.

“I really like you and I really want to but I don’t want to rush! We can take our time and let things happen naturally, when we’re both ready and healthy and strong enough, okay?!”

Lucifer paused for a moment, then gently drew me toward him through the water. “I’m just helping you get cleaned up,” he said.

Caught off guard, I smiled awkwardly. I hadn’t expected him to be so sincere. His cheek brushed lightly against mine, and he placed a soft, fleeting kiss on my lips. Gentle, with no hidden meaning. I looked at him and murmured, “Your Highness, I…”

“Call me again,” he interrupted.

“Lord Lucifer… no, Lucifer.”

“Mhm.” He cast a quiet spell, tending carefully to my wounds.

“After we return… when will I see you again?”

“When do you want to see me again?”

I wanted to say: All the time. Every minute, every second. But that felt too bare. After thinking for what felt like half a day, I settled on: “You’re busier than I am, so… it depends on your schedule. When do you have time?”

Then I drew a shallow breath—Lucifer’s fingers had slipped beneath me, gently grazing. I instinctively tightened my arms around his neck. “That part’s not injured. Don’t touch so casually.”

“Eventually,” he said quietly, “I’ll be touching it anyway.”

I was so flustered my face nearly turned one hundred percent red. Even after thinking it over for another half day, I still couldn’t bring myself to bring back up the question he had asked earlier.

After a long while, Lucifer spoke again.

“How about not going back tonight? Stay here with me.”

I looked up at him, not even aware of how happy I looked. I clenched my fists tightly and said, “Okay.”

Though I had agreed, what followed was Lucifer’s rather thorough “cleansing” of certain parts of my body, which made me so embarrassed I had to shut my eyes and bite down on my wrist just to stay distracted. My heart was pounding against my ribs, and I could feel the blood rushing downward, heat pooling in one place. It became almost unbearable. My nose alone wasn’t enough, I had to part my lips slightly just to breathe, deeply in and out.

“Don’t tense up so much.”

I loosened my grip a little, panting, and muttered, “Let’s just hurry and finish. I can’t take it anymore.”

“It’s already done.”

I blinked. Done?

I jumped off him at once—splash!—water flew everywhere. Just as I was about to climb out, Lucifer poured something cool over my head. He scooped up some water and began massaging it into my hair. Silky bubbles spread out, slipping down my neck and shoulders before dissolving into the bathwater.

“Don’t lift your head just yet.”

He said it too late. Foam had already gotten in my eyes, stinging sharply. I immediately shut them and rubbed at them with my hands. He gently pushed my bangs back, poured some clean water over my head, and wiped my eyes with the back of his hand.

I relaxed into his touch, enjoying the massage and leaning lazily against his shoulder. He cupped water in his hands to rinse my hair. My curls, once wet and straightened, drooped all over my face like a soaked rag. I gathered the hair to one side and shook it out forcefully, like a wet dog, sending strands exploding in all directions.

Lucifer chuckled indulgently and patted my head. “I haven’t finished yet. You can get out first?”

“No. You bathe, I watch.” I only realized how shameless it sounded after I said it.

He nodded and clapped his hands.

“What was that for?”

“Getting someone to help.”

“Hey, you’re willing to wash me yourself, but you need help washing yourself?”

“You don’t like that?”

I glanced at the angel who entered. “I’ll help you.”

“Okay.” He waved the angel away again.

I paddled over and opened a jewel-trimmed box, pouring out the same crystal-clear liquid into my hands and lathering it into his hair. “Ruthfel would probably be thrilled.”

Lucifer’s golden hair floated on the surface. “Why’s that?”

“When I was heartbroken, he stayed with me for a long time. If he knew that you… well, anyway, I think he’d be happy.”

“What happened today was my mistake. I’m sorry.”

I stretched out my arm behind his head, rinsing his hair while murmuring, “You’re not allowed to see anyone else from now on, got it?”

Lucifer smiled with his eyes closed, but said nothing.

Once I finished rinsing him off, I wiped his eyes and cupped his face. “Answer me, or I’ll drown you right here.”

Droplets still clung to his face, glittering under the light. When he smiled, his lashes looked even thicker.

I pounced on him, sending another wave of water splashing over the edge. He suddenly held me tight. The part of our bodies that changed pressed together, and his voice turned low and heated:

“I’ve indulged in lust for its own sake before, but I’ve never done it because I loved someone… You’ll have to teach me.”

I hugged him back tight and kissed him like crazy.

The kiss lasted a long time, until we were both breathless. Eventually, he pushed me back, panting slightly.

“No more kissing. Let’s go up.”

……

After our bath, we returned to the palace chambers.

One of the most frustrating things about being an angel is how easily feathers fall out. If you’re even slightly sleep-deprived, they shed like hair. By the time we reached the chambers, I had left a trail behind us. A few angels along the way side-eyed me hard.

When we reached the door, Lucifer told me to wait inside first and stepped away from a bit.

As I entered the room, the sight before me was like a still, mirror-like lake, flawlessly clean and serene. I walked to the grand rectangular window. Outside, a wide avenue stretched far below, perfectly paved and symmetrical. Neatly spaced buildings lined the horizon, and above them, carriages drifted through the sky like clouds chasing the wind… In an instant, the vast, dreamlike splendor of the Celestial Capital was laid out beneath my feet.

Someone behind me spoke softly. “Do you like it here?”

I nodded, then shook my head. It was beautiful—so beautiful it felt unreal.

Something suddenly felt off.

I turned and saw the little angel flying behind me. I instantly leapt forward and hugged him. “Farthead!” Then I gave his head a good pounding.

A nearby four-wings stepped out angrily, but another held him back, looking uneasy.

Ruthfel: “There’s something I want to tell you.”

Me, excited: “I have something to tell you too!”

“You first.”

I glanced around, then whispered, “Lord Lucifer—no, Lucifer said he likes me. I know you probably think he’s not trustworthy, but I’m just so happy…” Seeing Ruthfel smiling so brightly, I spun him around in my arms a few times.

That sudden feeling of something being wrong again.

“Wait, why are you here? What did you want to tell me? And why are your feathers that color…”

Am I seeing things?

Ruthfel’s wings suddenly popped into a bite-sized version of Lucifer’s, glowing and shining in a full 360-degree light show.

I touched his tiny feathers, and he immediately stopped flapping that wing. I pinched, kneaded, and rubbed. Though small and soft, there was no mistake.

“You… could it be that you’re…”

“Yes,” Ruthfel said quietly.

I took a step back and bumped into the window railing. “Impossible! Don’t scare me like that!”

Ruthfel slowly floated over to me. “I told you a long time ago, but you kept misunderstanding.”

I shook my head vigorously. After a long while, I finally frowned and said, “Fine… I can accept that.”

“Don’t be mad at me.” Ruthfel fluttered and flew over to hug me.

“Tell me first. Is your mom still with him? Or did he give birth to you?”

“What do you mean?”

“Aren’t you his son? Then your mom and him are not together anymore, right?”

“You…” Ruthfel’s blue eyes widened. “Isar, you really, really… are so dumb.”

Being dumb is one thing. But was it really necessary to use two adverbs?

Ruthfel covered my eyes with his small hands. The dazzling radiance was instantly shut out. Through the gaps between his fingers, I saw those bright, glistening blue eyes slowly close as he leaned in. Then his soft lips pressed gently against mine. The familiar sensation sent a sudden jolt through my mind, and my heartbeat faltered into disarray. Then he lowered his hand, one arm wrapping around my waist, the other bracing against the windowsill behind me.

Something felt increasingly off.

How could Farthead wrap his arm around my waist with just one hand? His arms are so short.

I opened my eyes and looked up.

The person in front of me was now a head taller. Golden bangs fell across his forehead, brushing against my skin. His nose was more pronounced now, lightly pressing against my cheek.

He let go of me.

Standing before me was the fully grown, devastatingly handsome version of Ruthfel.

My mind was in complete chaos.

“F-Farthead, y-you grew up into someone not just good-looking, but… noble, elegant, refined, just like… just like… Lord Lucifer…”

God help me, I’d turned into another Sandalphon. Someone please tell me what the hell is going on.

There were only four possible explanations for this phenomenon:

One, Ruthfel would grow up to look exactly like Lucifer.

Two, Lucifer had disguised himself as Ruthfel to trick me.

Three, Ruthfel had disguised himself as Lucifer to trick me.

Four… I didn’t even dare to think about it.

He cupped my face and kissed me again.

“Silly Isar, you really are so dumb.”

The same words, the same tone, from the same mouth, but the feeling was completely different. The first, childlike and clear. The second, brimming with sensual indulgence.

I stammered. “Are you Farthead… or my wife?”

He pinched my cheeks and shook them. “I’m your husband.”

“Wife.”

“Husband.”

“Wife.”

“Husband.”

“Wife.”

“Husband.”

He chuckled and kissed me again. “My cute wife.”

After being brainwashed back and forth like that, I suddenly remembered the first time I sawthe Mirror of Thunder with Ruthfel. If Ruthfel hadn’t been reflected in the mirror, the image should have only shown Lucifer. The mirror only revealed reflections to the people present, and only those who had the greatest influence on one another, so the reflection of both Lucifer and me materialized because we were both there, each the greatest presence to the other.

…How did I not realize at the time? And because I didn’t…

I had hoped the almighty Lord Lucifer might have forgotten all the stupid things I said, but instead, he chuckled softly and recited:

“Lucifer. He likes Lilith. He likes Lilith. I’m a fireball, I’m gonna explode—ah, he likes Lilith. Argh, I’m already exploding, can’t you see? I’m on fire…”

Hallucinations. I’m hearing hallucinations.

“Farthead, get out of here. I don’t want to see you. I fell for Lord Lucifer in just one day. Laugh if you want.”

I turned around and shook my head, trying to shake his words out of my ears.

Lucifer hugged me from behind and swayed gently. “I really want to punch him. Tell him that I, Isar, can live just fine without him. But I don’t have the right to. He never once told me he loved me. I was just the one who couldn’t handle it.”

Outside the window, the sky was bright.

I pressed my lips together. The sunlight stung so much that it was tear-inducing.

“I love you.” Lucifer tightened his embrace. “From now on, I’ll say it to you every day… until you’re sick of it.”

I sniffled, then slapped his face—not hard, but dramatically enough that the angels nearby gasped. Lucifer held his cheek and sighed softly, “I knew this would happen.”

“You were eavesdropping and still have the nerve to act all smug. Don’t forget I’ve dangled you upside down, smacked the sense out of you and ridden you like a pony!” With that, I bolted.

……

I was used to sleeping in complete darkness, but there was no night in Sancta Faylia. So Lucifer had the curtains drawn and changed into his childlike form, lying next to me while holding his cup of milk. Maybe when someone becomes small, their habits become childish too because Ruthfel was far cuter and more innocent than his adult self. He lay in the soft misty clouds, his little feet kicking up, a thick stack of papers beside him. He sipped milk as he read.

I leaned over. “What’s that?”

“Haven’t looked at a single document submitted these past few days.”

I nodded and lay down to sleep.

“Isar, what do you think of demons?”

“Scary on the outside, a little violent, but simple on the inside.”

Honestly, I still felt they didn’t have much to do with us and posed no real threat. I didn’t understand why angels kept persecuting them.

Lucifer was silent, then sat up and took a sip of milk. “I’ll need to stay like this for a few days.”

I shook my head, picked him up, and licked the milk from the corner of his mouth. “Why?”

“From the creation of mankind to the stabilization of Eden, it all drains large amounts energy. So for few days at a time, I revert to a child’s form.”

“A few days?”

“Mm, getting sleepy.” He rolled over to sleep.

I flipped him back toward me. “Explain properly or you’re not sleeping!”

“It’s like this. You’ve probably noticed that there are very few children or elders in Heaven. ”

I nodded.

“An angel’s lifespan is proportional to their rank, so childhood and old age are both very short. When we age, our hair simply turns silver and we become expressionless.”

I nodded again.

“Most Seraphim were created directly by God, and so was I. But my path has never been as smooth as the others’. They say that when I was born, I smiled at God with contempt. Most of the angels born around the same time bore hostility toward me.”

I nodded.

“Angels who remain in childhood too long are either short-lived or born with congenital flaws. Unfortunately, while everyone else matured, I remained in a child’s form. And with wings of such an unusual color, rumors naturally spread among the higher angels.”

I reached out to pat his head. Lucifer smiled faintly. “A child’s power is only a thousandth of what it becomes after maturing. Just as you once said to that one group of four-winged angels, back then, I really was incapable of anything. I stayed at Divine Law for a long time without graduating.”

The thought of Farthead being bullied by a group of angels sent my heart plunging like a roller coaster. “So the Seraphic Wings of Light weren’t originally a high rank?”

“That’s right. They were a supreme honor granted to me by God. Not only that, He placed great trust in me and built the Ruthfel Cathedral for me just one Berduth after my birth.”

I said thoughtfully, “And those who used to look down on you, I bet you’ve cast them all down the ranks by now.”

“No. They’re all dead.”

I gasped. “Don’t tell me you killed them.”

Lucifer smiled but didn’t answer me directly. “Later, I became the strongest angel. But many still hated me. Their favorite topic of conversation was my wings.”

I said angrily, “That’s just jealousy, grasping at straws. Your wings are beautiful. So beautiful. Absolutely stunning.”

Lucifer’s large blue eyes blinked, visibly moved. “There’s no one else in Heaven who surpasses me, right?”

I scoffed. “Your self-esteem really isn’t just a little inflated.”

He pushed me down and leaned over me, starry eyes gleaming.

“So I’ll always be the only one in your eyes, won’t I?”

I looked at him seriously. “That’s open to interpretation.”

Lucifer chuckled. “You don’t need to answer. I already know. Because you were born to love me.”

That last line was so over-the-top that I shivered. I didn’t realize then that it held a deeper meaning.

He pressed a gentle kiss to my cheek. “A child’s body has no desire. So tonight, this is for the best. It wouldn’t do your injuries any good otherwise.”

He wrapped us both in something, neither quite cloth nor silk, neither gauze nor veil, and turned over, settling in to sleep.

A long time passed before I suddenly remembered something. I nudged him. “Wait. You never answered my question from earlier.”

Without a word, Ruthfel draped one small arm over my waist and burrowed into my chest, sleeping as peacefully as can be.