If you had to name the single biggest change in Han-gyeom lately, it would be this, no more and no less.
“Han-gyeom, did you do well on the exam?”
“Kang Han-gyeom, are there any games you’ve been playing lately?”
That was it exactly: after coming to school, he’d started talking a lot more than before.
Originally, Han-gyeom’s daily routine went like this. He came to the classroom for lecture, took a seat, and read quietly until the professor walked in. Then he listened to the lecture and ate lunch by himself. After that, if he had more classes, he repeated the same steps.
In other words, unless it was a day he went to the club room, it wouldn’t be an exaggeration to say he almost never had a proper conversation with anyone at school. But these days—or more precisely, since he’d cut his hair and switched from glasses to contacts—his classmates had been approaching him quite warmly.
From what he’d heard, before the haircut, his gloomy impression had made it hard for people to approach him even if they wanted to.
“I-I don’t really play games.”
“Really? There’s nothing you’re interested in? We can tell you about some.”
“Yeah. It’s insanely fun if we all go to a PC bang together.”
As if they were treating a chick that had just broken out of its shell and stepped into the world, the attention of his classmates didn’t just gather around Han-gyeom, who had emerged through the barrier of shaggy hair and glasses—it had reached the point of being completely focused on him.
“Really?”
A PC bang, huh. Would Won-hyeok like games too? The only time Han-gyeom had ever gone to one was to do assignments, so it seemed like it might be fun to go there with Won-hyeok and try playing games together. As Han-gyeom once again lost himself in thoughts of Won-hyeok, he felt someone tap his forearm.
“Um, Han-gyeom.”
“Hm?”
A few of the girls in his class exchanged glances with each other, then slowly opened their mouths.
“Are you close with Do Won-hyeok sunbae from third year?”
“Huh?”
Maybe because he’d been thinking about Won-hyeok right up until that moment, Han-gyeom was so startled by Won-hyeok’s name suddenly coming up as a new topic that he nearly jumped.
“Wh-why… why?”
His Adam’s apple bobbed. Doing his best to stay calm, he steadied his voice and asked as casually as he could, pretending to be relaxed.
“What do you mean, why? Because that’s how it looks.”
That meant… did he look really close with Won-hyeok?
“Right. Just at a glance, you two seem close. How did you get close?”
“How close are you?”
Won-hyeok’s presence and popularity were so overwhelming no matter the year that it was honestly natural for them to be this interested. Well, if someone as unremarkable as me looked close to that English Department idol, I guess people would question it.
“Th-that is…”
Suddenly, something from not long ago came back to him. That day Han-ul had found out they were dating. He’d told Han-gyeom that he’d immediately sensed, just from his eyes and behavior, that he liked Won-hyeok.
His throat grew even drier. What if his classmates had noticed something too and were asking like this with hidden meaning? Had they somehow figured out they were dating? No. If that were the case, they’d be reacting far more strongly than this. This was Do Won-hyeok sunbae, after all.
When dating rumors break out about an idol, the internet and social media light up everywhere, and it was obvious countless people would be just as interested in Won-hyeok’s love life.
Most importantly, Won-hyeok didn’t want people to know that he was dating Han-gyeom right now. Han-gyeom understood that completely, so he had to follow the terms of their relationship all the more carefully.
“No. We’re not close.”
“Huh? You’re not close?”
“Yeah! N-not close at all. Maybe you saw wrong…?”
At that, the classmates who had asked the question exchanged glances again and laughed awkwardly. If they asked any more follow-up questions, Han-gyeom’s head was already spinning over what he should say then. He didn’t have even a speck of talent for lying smoothly or making excuses on the spot.
Fortunately, the professor appeared with perfect timing. The classmates all returned to their seats, silence settled over the classroom, and Han-gyeom felt relieved too.
Still, Han-ul had said he’d keep it secret, and Han-gyeom didn’t doubt his character, but what if people who noticed, like Han-ul had, started popping up one after another? Then if rumors spread that Won-hyeok was dating someone, and that someone was some completely unremarkable kid from second year, that would be a disaster.
The problem might be me…
Because the reason Han-ul had caught on was him too. Han-gyeom rubbed his eyes for no reason. It seemed like whenever he stood in front of Won-hyeok, hearts practically burst out of him without him even realizing it. How was he supposed to fix that? Unlike him, Won-hyeok seemed to hide it well while acting like an ordinary junior-senior pair.
Midterms had recently ended, and after studying hard, Han-gyeom had managed to get fairly good grades. He’d only just had a moment to feel relieved, thinking he’d overcome one major mountain on the way to a scholarship, when a new difficult problem came crashing down on him like a tidal wave.
“Han-gyeom, class is over.”
“Ah, right. It is.”
By the time he came to his senses, the lecture had already ended. Han-gyeom hurriedly gathered his bag and came out. Just as a few classmates who often talked to him were asking if he wanted to eat with them, a hand suddenly shot out from somewhere and caught his wrist.
“Han-gyeom.”
Won-hyeok, who had grabbed Han-gyeom’s slender wrist and pulled him in, wore a fresh smile today as well.
“Sunbae!”
Han-gyeom greeted Won-hyeok politely. Lately, they’d almost always eaten lunch together. Thanks to that, Han-gyeom had gotten to try a lot of restaurants near campus that were supposedly famous. And after he’d started wearing contacts, Won-hyeok kept taking him farther outside the school, so recently they’d also tried all kinds of places far from here.
“Want to go eat?”
Han-gyeom was about to nod happily, but suddenly he felt eyes on him from behind. When he turned his head, he saw the classmates who had asked before class whether he was close with Won-hyeok staring over here with curious eyes.
Sweat began to bead on Han-gyeom’s forehead. Earlier, he’d said they weren’t close at all…
“Uh, um, sunbae…”
“Hm?”
“I-I’m going to eat with my classmates today.”
“…What?”
Won-hyeok’s voice instantly dropped, and his face slowly stiffened, but Han-gyeom’s nerves were entirely fixed on those gazes directed this way.
“Then enjoy your meal too, sunbae!”
After shouting that, Han-gyeom ran over to the classmates who had suggested eating together earlier. He still hadn’t found a way to control his expression or calmly hide his feelings in front of Won-hyeok. Come to think of it, before this, his bangs and glasses had hidden all his expressions—but not anymore.
So until he found a new way through things and a new weapon to replace the shield he’d lost, it seemed best to be careful whenever he was near Won-hyeok.
And so, the method Han-gyeom chose, because he had no confidence in hiding his expression, was simply this: avoiding being with Won-hyeok.
“Guys, can I eat with you too?”
At that, his classmates nodded readily. Han-gyeom turned his head slightly, gave a timid wave to Won-hyeok, who was still standing stiffly where he’d been, and disappeared.
***
[You’re having lunch with me today, right?]
[Ah… I’m eating with my classmates again today!]
[I’m in the club room. Come here. The others are all here too.]
[Uh… my class ends late, so I don’t think I can go!]
These days, Han-gyeom was trying to reduce the amount of time he spent with Won-hyeok at school, even if only a little.
“So you’re avoiding him?”
Han-ul, sitting across from him and sipping his Americano through a straw, asked. Han-gyeom had come to a café with Han-ul during a break between classes.
“Yeah.”
Han-gyeom had been floundering in this newly arisen worry lately and had eventually sent out an SOS to Han-ul. He needed someone to give him an opinion, and there was only one person who knew he was dating Won-hyeok, could be trusted to keep it secret, and was easy to talk to: Han-ul, and only Han-ul.
“I really don’t know what to do. Even when I try to manage my expression, it doesn’t work well in front of sunbae.”
“Hm, but… do you really have to?”
“Huh? Of course I do. What if someone notices, like you did, Han-ul? Sunbae would hate that.”
Han-ul bit down on his lip.
“But somehow, it feels like you shouldn’t do that…”
“Hm? What did you say?”
Han-ul shook his head hard, saying it was nothing. To him, the relationship between those two was strange and funny, but he still didn’t know all the details or the whole story. Besides, if they’d decided to keep their dating a secret from other people, then Han-gyeom’s current concern was perfectly valid.
“Managing your expression… Well. I’ve never really thought about anything like that either…”
Han-ul stroked his chin and thought seriously.
“Right? It really does seem too hard…”
As Han-gyeom muttered with a gloomy face, Han-ul began to feel a little worried too. They hadn’t known each other for very long, but the Han-gyeom he’d seen from the first time they met until now was, well… clean. He didn’t seem burdened by worry, and Han-ul had thought of him as someone solid, with a strong core. That was why he’d wanted to get closer to him and look after him more.
There were people like that sometimes. The kind who drew others in not through anything external, but through something inside them like that.
“Han-gyeom, exams are over, so do you want to go blow off some steam?”
That was why Han-ul made the suggestion a little impulsively.
“Blow off some steam?”
“Yeah. Do you know how to play games?”
Han-gyeom tilted his head, and then a rrk sound came from the table. Looking now, it had come from the phone he’d set on top of it.
Han-gyeom’s expression brightened instantly as he checked the text that had just arrived.
[You’ve got time before your next class, right? Want to go to a café together?]
Watching his face light up as if a lightbulb had suddenly clicked on, Han-ul thought, So his thoughts really do all show on his face.
“I’m not very good at games…”
“I’ll teach you. It’s more fun than you’d think.”
Han-gyeom looked back and forth between the text on his phone and Han-ul.
“O-okay!”
And just like that, he accepted Han-ul’s suggestion. If he learned a little about games now, wouldn’t that give him another hobby he could enjoy with sunbae later?
Right now, Han-gyeom’s head was full of nothing but Won-hyeok. Watching Han-ul get up after gathering his things, Han-gyeom tapped at his screen.
[I made plans to hang out with Han-ul. Let’s go next time.]
“What the hell kind of new bullshit is this now?”
At that same moment, checking the text on his screen, Won-hyeok ground his teeth. The veins stood out over the back of the hand gripping his phone so tightly they looked ready to burst.
