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He tilted his head to the side and added.
“Eddie. I have no intention of letting you go. You’re the one who walked into my arms first. So now, where are you trying to leave to?”
“……”
“You told me you liked me. You also said let’s get married. I’ve taken custody of all those words. They’re mine. I absolutely have no intention of returning them, so know that while you’re at it.”
“……”
Right. I had momentarily forgotten that Cedric was this kind of person.
Whether I was anxious, hesitant, or whatever I did, he was someone who looked only at me stubbornly beyond simply liking me. He wasn’t someone who would meekly agree if I said let’s break up.
This guy was always like this. Whether it was because of my problems or decisions for his sake, even when I pushed him away persistently, he would approach without bending.
Suddenly, all the things I had been worrying about felt pointless. And there was me unconsciously feeling relieved about that.
I also realized anew… that I couldn’t do without Cedric either.
“Even if this whole world disappeared, I’d be fine as long as you’re here, Eddie. I know these aren’t words that will solve your anxiety. But I… can’t even imagine losing you.”
“……”
“So I’d like you to be a little more greedy for me too. I wish you’d be more obsessive and selfish with me.”
Cedric, who had come close, took my hand and placed it against his cheek. Then he pressed his lips to my forehead with a kiss.
“You think too much, Eddie.”
“…Sorry about that.”
“You think a lot, but why does the proportion of thinking about me seem so small? I’d be happy if you thought about me more instead of worrying.”
“I think about you a lot too, you know?”
“Then do it even more from now on.”
I ended up laughing.
‘Right. Whatever happens, I have to see it through to the end.’
I definitely had that resolve, so why was I trying to give up? My mind, which had seemed hazy, was clearing up. My spirit, which had become weak, felt like it was standing straight again.
I gradually burrowed into his embrace and hugged him.
The embrace that held me back was still warm.
“Yesterday… sorry for saying those things.”
“Yeah. I knew you didn’t mean it. Still, don’t do that anymore. I get hurt.”
“You got hurt?”
“Of course. I couldn’t sleep properly yesterday.”
“…Sorry.”
I felt Cedric, who hugged me tight with a light sigh, rubbing his cheek against the top of my head. A mischievous playfulness was subtly evident in the voice that followed.
“If you’re sorry, spend all day with me today.”
Naturally, there was no way I could refuse that request. I glared at Cedric, who thoroughly utilized any weakness once he caught it, then put strength into my embracing arms.
“Yes, sir. A sinner must follow orders.”
“Hmm, if you’re a sinner, am I the guard?”
“Huh? What are you trying to say now…”
“Where does our sinner feel it when touched?”
“Pervert.”
My face heated up when Cedric’s hand touched my buttocks. I pushed him away and pointlessly looked around. Fortunately, there were no watching eyes.
“You chose this lover, so you have to handle it.”
“Sigh. Maybe breaking up would be better after all.”
“Don’t do that. I’ll do better from now on.”
When I turned my body first, Cedric hugged me from behind again while whining. I smirked and reached back to pat Cedric’s waist while replying.
“I’m joking.”
Like that, we reunited less than two days after the breakup declaration. Since I had unilaterally declared it in the first place, there was hardly any time to be sad.
Later, when Riette found out belatedly that we had almost broken up, she was dumbfounded but chattered that we were perhaps destined for each other. She said relationships where people cling together persistently even while fighting tend to last long.
Hearing that, it seemed like it might be true.
‘Whatever happens…’
I resolved to see it through to the end. Whatever conclusion that result might lead to.
“I plan to visit Montail for a while.”
One day Father called me over to talk.
“Whew, Count Montail is shamelessly holding out, saying he’ll raise the toll to an unreasonable level. That place is no different from the empire’s only passage for trade with the Eastern countries… it’s a headache when he acts like that.”
And I watched Father, who was shaking his head gently. I could feel a vagueness from him, as if the main point hadn’t come out yet.
“Yes. So?”
“Yeah. But there’s also some overdue settlement work in Berdion that I need to visit. Our trading company delivered ten carriages of cotton goods last month, but the receipt confirmation seems to be delayed.”
“Ah.”
“I only have one body, you see. I’m thinking of entrusting you with organizing the ledgers and statements there. It would also be good for you to see and hear about the local branch situation directly.”
So this was also a kind of successor training.
Father added.
“Don’t worry too much. Lionel will handle most of the important matters, and you just need to go as someone learning beside him.”
“Yes…”
“And one more thing.”
I was feeling glum about having to take on burdensome work when I focused on Father’s continuing words.
“Cedy will also accompany you.”
“…What?”
My eyes lit up.
Perhaps I showed my happiness too obviously, as Father chuckled meaningfully.
“A trading company is all public business anyway, isn’t it? The prior agreement with the Grand Duke is already finished, and it’ll be good observation for Cedy in many ways too. I can send you with peace of mind. It’s not bad for anyone.”
Right. It was also good for me.
It would be less boring being with him.
Has Cedric heard this news by now too? Until just now I didn’t want to go, but suddenly I wanted to pack quickly.
“Of course, be careful not to let our trading company’s confidential information leak out. Well, Lionel will handle that well…”
“Yes. I’ll be careful.”
“Good. It’s in four days, so prepare from now.”
“I will!”
I answered energetically and then went up to pack. I was excited and even hummed while checking the simple things to bring.
Recently, Cedric and I have been consciously not mentioning anything related to traits. As a result, we’ve been getting along well without any particular troubles.
The anxiety hadn’t disappeared, but since pondering over it was useless, I had changed my thinking to enjoying the present.
‘I need to think positively. Positively.’
Either way, it’s not like I won’t like Cedric. Cedric also surely feels the same as me. This much was as meaningless as pondering over it.
Four days later, I first joined up with Cedric and then met Lionel, who had come to pick us up.
“Oh, young master! Have you been well?”
When Lionel smiled brightly with joy and grabbed both my hands to shake them, Cedric’s sharp glare flew over as if it would pierce through my hands. Lionel, who startled a beat late, quietly let go of my hands and smiled awkwardly.
“Young Master Cedric too! It’s been a while.”
I pretended not to notice and received Lionel’s greeting.
“Have you been well, Lionel?”
“Haha! I’m always doing well.”
“That’s good. Please take good care of us for a while.”
“Yes! Just leave it to me.”
After Lionel answered so reliably, he moved to talk with Father. I watched his retreating figure and then elbowed Cedric in the ribs.
“Don’t be so hard on Lionel. You know he just treats me like a nephew.”
“No. Tell him not to look at you like that. You’ll wear out.”
Cedric stubbornly insisted with illogical words. Wearing out – that was something Cedric shouldn’t say.
“If I were to wear out like an object from being looked at and touched a little, I should have already worn away completely because of you.”
Since no one bites, sucks, and licks me all over with their whole body like this guy does.
Indeed, perhaps he had no words to refute, as he made a sulky expression. I stared at that face that only looked cute and poked his cheek with my finger.
“I love you.”
When I lowered my voice and whispered as if telling a secret, Cedric silently looked around briefly, then soon bent his head toward me. A shadow fell over my head and a soft sensation overlapped my lips.
With the intentionally audible sound of lips meeting and parting, my heart seemed to become soft as well.
“Me too.”
Cedric, who answered in a subtle tone, clasps my hand. Soon, when my parents and Lionel, who had come out to see us off, were about to return to us, we let go of hands.
“Are you all ready?”
“Yes.”
“Have a good trip, Eddie.”
I hugged Mother, who came to embrace me, with all my strength and said goodbye.
Both Cedric and I were pretending nothing had happened in front of them, but our hearts were hanging on cloud nine.
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
