The Original Work Got Ruined After I Quit Being the Sub Male 69

Ah. I ended up honestly confessing everything.

While I groaned with mild shame and embarrassment, Cedric let out a short sigh and asked as if he couldn’t believe it.

“What’s that? A new seduction method?”

“No!”

“If you want to do it with me, we can just do it. When have I ever said no? I wouldn’t mind even if you fucked my cock until it turned black so I couldn’t show it to anyone else.”

“…That’s exactly why I didn’t want to tell you!”

Of course he’d say yes if I suggested it. This guy would never refuse. He has the stamina and virility for it.

“What exactly is the problem that’s making you act like this?”

So the problem was with me.

“I can’t handle it. I don’t have confidence in my stamina…”

Of course I want to do it too, which is why I’m reacting down there, but if I suggested doing it one more time, I was scared of the aftermath that would follow.

Isn’t this the age when sexual desire is most vigorous? I was reacting like an addict who doesn’t know moderation after tasting pleasure for the first time, but my body couldn’t handle it myself.

That’s why I tried to take time to calm down, and I tried to restrain myself so I wouldn’t just get their hopes up and then back out.

The romance I had imagined was definitely innocent and sweet… something like that, but I also felt self-loathing about acting like this when it hadn’t been long since I admitted my feelings of liking him.

‘Ugh, embarrassing.’

It would have been better if I had confessed first and then honestly opened up. This way, doesn’t it look like I’m someone who’s just crazy about that and only wants his body?

I hope he doesn’t misunderstand.

‘No, but wait, I thought I wasn’t showing it, so how did he notice so quickly?’

I was going to resolve this without giving him time to worry, then confess magnificently.

“…As I thought, I pushed you too hard that day?”

Cedric asked in a voice lower than before.

“No, don’t think like that. Really, it’s not that.”

I quickly shook my head. I had been worried he might think that, and sure enough.

“Sorry. I’ll try to hold back to once instead of twice.”

“I don’t blame you. I’m the one who’s sorry.”

Lack of stamina… for not being able to handle it all.

‘I really need to build up my stamina when I get back.’

The atmosphere became awkward. It’s somewhat embarrassing to be having a serious conversation about this. Eventually Cedric was the first to break the silence.

“Why are you sorry? No. So ultimately, the fact that you keep thinking about it means you enjoyed doing it with me. Right?”

“…Yeah.”

“Right, that’s enough. If it’s hard for you, I won’t push. I won’t go all the way until you say it’s okay. I won’t get disappointed or sulky about it on my own, so don’t feel burdened about talking to me.”

“…”

I felt somehow at ease and looked at him steadily.

Cedric didn’t get dejected asking if doing it with me was that difficult, or watch my reactions thinking I was rejecting a relationship with him.

I had many worries… but actually opening up and resolving it through conversation was disappointingly easy.

‘Burden…’

Right. I had the burden of not wanting to disappoint or hurt him.

Because I came to know the depth of his feelings for me, the weight of that time.

So I became careful even about small things…

But now I think these kinds of things can be resolved by just bumping into them and working through them. Eventually they’ll naturally mesh together.

“…I understand.”

“You’re going to rest alone until today, right?”

“Mm, yeah.”

“Is a goodnight kiss okay?”

My hesitation was brief. When I nodded, Cedric slowly approached and lowered his head toward me.

As if not wanting to startle me, he made eye contact with slow, quiet movements and pressed our lips together.

It was a light kiss, brief as if stealing it in case someone might see.

My heart raced and a tickling heat rose, but I could definitely accept it more calmly than yesterday.

Perhaps because the various mental burdens had disappeared, my hypersensitive senses seemed to be slowly, gradually relaxing.

I felt good that being by his side and expressing love was becoming a natural thing.

“…So your body is okay?”

“Hm? Ah.”

“I asked before but you ran away.”

The voice whispering small enough for only me to hear tickles. Heat rose to my face again. Avoiding my gaze downward, I grabbed his collar for no reason and shook it.

“It was… a bit stiff.”

“Sorry for overdoing it. I couldn’t control myself well.”

“No. It’s much better now.”

And if we’re talking about lack of self-control, wasn’t I the same? Soon his lips pressed against my forehead with a sound and then separated.

“Go in and rest now. Sleep well, Eddie.”

I could clearly feel him trying to be considerate of me.

“Yeah, you too.”

“I love you.”

…’Yeah, me too.’

Thinking about telling him this directly soon, I smiled bashfully and made eye contact with Cedric. He also smiled back with a much softer face than before, as if he had shaken off his anxiety.

* * *

After regaining some composure, I stuck to Cedric again as if I had never distanced myself. Since only I had been keeping distance and it was just a minor trouble that got resolved, we quickly played together sweetly as usual.

A few days later like that.

We finally arrived in the east.

After finishing the arduous schedule and returning to the mansion, I couldn’t be more comfortable. Lionel ultimately never said what he had wanted to say, and left only saying it wasn’t urgent so he’d visit again later.

Having returned to daily life, I decided to execute the plan I had been thinking about – confessing to Cedric.

So I was pondering when to secretly arrange a private meeting with Cedric.

“Eddie.”

During dinner with my parents, Father called me. When our eyes met, he smiled kindly.

“How about holding a salon gathering after a long time?”

“A gathering?”

“Right. Don’t you need to start seriously engaging in social activities now?”

Come to think of it, while Father and Mother occasionally invited acquaintances to the mansion, I had never once hosted guests and entertained them myself.

Receiving invitations is one kind of social activity, but hosting invitations is also necessary for maintaining connections and gathering information…

“We’ll help you.”

“Since it’s your first time hosting a gathering, it should be big.”

Mother also chimed in agreement with Father’s words while eating. Since my connections were limited, they seemed to plan on inviting more people my age through their connections.

Unless you’re from a humble noble family, everyone tries to make the most of their parents’ connections, so I nodded without complaint.

“That sounds good.”

“Is this week okay for the date?”

“Ah, yes.”

Then I can meet with Cedric on the day of the salon gathering.

‘I should prepare a bouquet separately for the confession.’

Just like he sent me a Maynerib bouquet, I’ll also give him flowers with meaning and tell him all the words I’ve kept in my heart.

Will I be able to do well without stumbling?

I want to speak skillfully – will that be possible?

While harboring such worries and expectations and cutting meat halfheartedly, I suddenly heard Father’s voice mixed with laughter.

“What is our son thinking so deeply about?”

Mother also asked with feigned interest.

“Eddie, is there something good happening?”

Looking at both of them in bewilderment, I brushed it off saying it was nothing. Did my emotions show too much on my face? Feeling embarrassed for no reason, I quickly continued eating.

Not many days later, the salon gathering was held. From those I only vaguely knew by face to nobles I had almost no acquaintance with came to the mansion.

Viola also replied that she would come, so she should arrive soon. Riette and Cedric, well, I naturally invited them.

“Eddie!”

While greeting the visitors one by one, Riette spotted me and approached.

She was wearing a calm-feeling dress today. It was a sky-blue dress, and seeing that even her gloves were the same color, it seemed to be a set.

“Ah, Ret, welcome. Is that a dress I haven’t seen before?”

“Pretty, right? It’s a dress Gareth gave me as a gift last time. Since it’s attending your first gathering and it’s been a while, I wore it out.”

Riette shyly held her flushed cheeks, embarrassed. To receive Riette’s love – I always think about it, but Gareth is truly a blessed guy.

If the day ever comes when he makes her cry, I’ll rush over and give him a beating.

“Yeah, it’s pretty. It suits you well.”

“Who’s pretty?”

Suddenly I heard Cedric’s voice from behind her, and when I turned around, I could see him striding over from the entrance as if he had just entered the salon. As soon as he arrived, he glared at Riette with a completely sulky face.

“Ugh! Eddie was just giving a compliment.”

“He’s my Eddie. Don’t steal compliments.”

Riette glares at him with a fed-up expression. Nevertheless, Cedric paid no attention and pestered me while only looking at me.

“Tell me I’m pretty too, Eddie.”