I don’t know how things came to this point.
My childhood friend’s hand tracing up my flesh. Two cocks rubbing against each other, spilling out obscene sounds…
None of this felt real.
I thought that if friends did this… especially male friends, there would definitely be physiological rejection, but the reality wasn’t like that.
“Hey, your cock is leaking so much. Can you hear it?”
“I don’t… know… Ah! Ugh…”
This shouldn’t be happening.
Not with him of all people.
“Eddie…”
My childhood friend, who was already out of his mind, seemed to have forgotten that the person in front of him was his close friend, continuously pressing his lips to my skin and burying his face in my nape, breathing in my scent. A tingling thrill ran down my spine.
My head was already a complete mess.
“Ah, shit… Hnngh.”
Really, how did I end up like this with him?
Only now…
‘I thought we had finally become real friends.’
We were… childhood friends in name only.
The change in that relationship started from that day.
Chapter 1
What kind of twist of fate was that? On my twentieth birthday, surrounded by family and friends celebrating, I remembered parts of my past life.
I realized that the world I’m in now was remarkably similar to the world of a novel I had read in my previous life.
The female protagonist of the novel, Riette de Rosman.
The male protagonist of the novel, Cedric de Soliwen.
And the sub male lead who was both their childhood friend and harbored unrequited love for Riette, engaging in rivalry with Cedric – Edgar de Lowell.
‘Edgar de Lowell.’
Right. That’s me.
Perhaps because I was reincarnated as a character from that novel, some scenes and emotions that ‘Edgar from the novel’ witnessed and experienced were incredibly vivid. There was no denying it.
If things continue to flow like in the novel, at the coming-of-age ball for nobles that would be held soon, I would lose Riette to Cedric.
After that, my relationship with Cedric would deteriorate completely due to anger and inferiority complex…
Eventually, I would realize that everything was futile and even give up on life.
That was my future.
‘I was really flustered right after recovering my memories.’
Thanks to that, my precious twentieth birthday party celebrating my transition into full adulthood ended terribly.
After that day, despite my parents’ persuasion, I refused to meet the friends who frequently visited out of concern for my condition and sent them away.
I needed time to organize my thoughts.
Today marked exactly the third day of holing up in my room like a sit-in protest, ignoring my friends’ visits.
“Haah.”
Really, that my long unrequited love would end like that.
How bitter.
‘In the end… I could never beat Cedric even once.’
But after accepting the end of that unrequited love… I actually felt somewhat relieved. Thanks to recalling my past life memories, I could now look at Edgar from the original work as if I were a third party.
Edgar from the original work… no, I…
I lived stubbornly thinking that only Riette was my true love, but looking back, that wasn’t really true love.
‘I actually just didn’t want to lose to Cedric.’
From the moment I met that guy, I was constantly being compared to him. That’s also why I was particularly prickly toward Cedric alone.
My parents, who love me, never showed it outwardly, so I didn’t suffer at home, but whenever I went outside, we were always gossip material and subjects of comparison.
He and I always did everything together under the pretext of being ‘the closest childhood friends.’
And the conclusion the world arbitrarily reached was that Cedric was better than me at everything.
…Actually, that was inevitable.
Cedric was better at things I was good at, and he was also good at things I couldn’t do.
Moreover, I was a beta and Cedric was an alpha.
I wasn’t lacking in appearance, family background, or abilities compared to others, but Cedric was from one of the empire’s finest families, had abilities, outstanding looks, and was chosen as the empire’s best marriage prospect every year.
That alone was infuriating enough, but when that very person tried to steal even Riette, twisted obsession and stubbornness arose.
Since I couldn’t give up on Riette, who already essentially belonged to someone else, and kept bothering her, social perception wasn’t very kind either.
The ugly stigma of being ‘a beta coveting an alpha’s omega’ was fatal.
“I shouldn’t have done that…”
To make the mistake of not maintaining appropriate dignity in noble society – I was truly young and foolish. That social death also played a part in quickly pulling the trigger on my lifeline…
Looking back now, there was nothing to feel inferior about, and it wasn’t something to be so obsessed with.
‘He’s him and I’m me.’
Hmm. It’s a bit funny that I’m thinking like this the moment I recovered my memories, when I had been acting exactly like the novel’s version of me until just before recovering them…
‘It was originally something from a novel and not something that happened to me now, yet here I am reflecting on it.’
I was just letting out a chuckle when—
“What shouldn’t have happened?”
Suddenly, a familiar voice came from the direction of the door, and I quickly sat up from lying on the bed.
The door was open at some point. I could see ‘that guy’ I had been internally cursing, standing with his arms crossed, leaning against the door frame.
Cedric de Soliwen.
The character from the novel who could be called the center of this world, and who would soon become Riette’s mate – the object of my inferiority complex.
I immediately frowned.
“Hey! Why did you come in on your own? I told you not to come.”
This is ridiculous.
I clearly begged my parents earnestly not to let him in even if he came to visit because I didn’t want to face him. Yet they broke their promise with me after just three days and let that guy in?
…For reference, my parents have always been particularly fond of him.
Damn it. Three days was quite a good effort for them.
“Did you eat?”
“Mind your own business.”
I replied irritably and sat with my feet hanging down from the bed, turning my back to him. I heard Cedric sigh through his nose after a moment of silence.
Soon I heard the sound of him striding in, and when I unconsciously turned my head, I was startled. The face of the guy who had plopped down right next to me was too close.
Flustered, I quickly pulled my head back.
That was almost an accident.
“Wh-what.”
“Why are you suddenly acting like this?”
“Like what.”
“You haven’t even shown your face to Ret either.”
‘Ret’ is our pet name for Riette.
I subtly averted my gaze.
“I needed some time alone to think.”
“…Think about what.”
“Just, this and that.”
“……”
Suddenly, something touched my fingertips. When I glanced over, I saw Cedric’s large palm covering my hand that was resting on the bed.
That hand slowly stroked down the back of my hand, making me feel strange and ticklish.
“What, why are you doing that?”
I tried to withdraw my hand but was caught instead. He even pulled my hand toward himself and began gently stroking the back of my hand with his thumb.
I had no idea why he was doing this.
“Ced…”
I was about to call out ‘Cedric’ but closed my mouth. I belatedly remembered that until now, just like how we called Riette by her pet name, Cedric and I also called each other by pet names.
I had been calling him by his pet name just fine until a few days ago, but my head got tangled up as the past life memories came in strongly, and I almost made a mistake.
“Cedy.”
But Cedric flinched as if he had heard something he shouldn’t have, making me panic as well. I stammered to continue what I was trying to say.
“Are… are you going to stare at the back of my hand until you bore a hole through it?”
Only then did Cedric’s gaze, which had been staring intently at me, change to look somewhat sulky. He glared at me once and then let go of my hand.
And then.
“Call me that one more time.”
He suddenly made a strange request.
“What?”
“I said call me by my pet name one more time.”
“……”
Hmm. I can’t even guess what his intention is. But it’s not a difficult request. I moved my lips with slightly clearer pronunciation than before.
“Cedy.”
“…One more time.”
“Ce-dy. There, that’s eno— ack, hey, wait!”
Cedric, who had been hanging his head down, suddenly pulled me into an embrace. I almost fell over from the weight pressing against me but managed to stop by placing my hands on the bed.
I tried to push him away, but the guy wouldn’t budge.
“Hey, why are you doing this!”
“…I’m happy to see you after three days.”
“What? Wait, what? Don’t tell me you’re crying right now?”
“No.”
How ridiculous. I can tell just from his voice.
“No, where does anyone cry from being happy to see someone? Huh?”
“…I’m not crying.”
“Let me see your face.”
“……”
I patted his back repeatedly, but he still had no intention of letting go. Eventually, unable to overcome the difference in strength with an alpha, I gave up and slumped with a groan.
“Anyone who saw this would think I said I’d never see you again.”
“……”
Cedric didn’t respond. I could only hear his breathing occasionally breaking and muffled sounds against my shoulder.
‘…Come to think of it.’
This guy persistently stayed by my side even though I treated him so callously and pushed him away.
After breaking away from being absorbed only in my own emotions following the memory recovery, I broadened my perspective and could newly notice Cedric’s consistent behavior.
‘Why does this guy… why does someone like me matter enough for him to try to remain friends?’
I always thought this guy was showing off his superior qualities beside me to tease me. But looking back, there seemed to be no such intention at all.
…He was just always there for me.
He always tried to do something for me.
He tried to help whenever he had the chance.
‘He’s an unnecessarily kind guy.’
Realizing this, I smiled bitterly.
“Sorry. I’ve finished organizing my thoughts, so I won’t act like this anymore.”
I plan to bury my love for Riette as a momentary emotion.
From the moment I realized the true nature of my unrequited love, I no longer had the right to continue this love.
The feelings I had for Riette had already been greatly diluted. It would be beneficial for everyone to give up early on my somewhat twisted unrequited love.
‘I’ll quietly support the two of them.’
Even if I step out of the original story’s flow, the two of them will find happiness on their own.
I should live differently from the novel’s story. I shouldn’t interfere with their love and should live my own life properly.
That’s surely the right direction.
I resolved to do that.
Pat pat, I gently tapped Cedric’s back like soothing a child. Only then did he slightly pull away and look at me quietly.
“I thought you said you weren’t crying?”
Cedric’s eyes were red.
When I chuckled, he changed his expression strangely.
“…Are you really the Eddie I know?”
“Why are you picking a fight again?”
“It’s weird because you’re suddenly being affectionate toward me.”
“…Even when I’m being nice, you complain.”
Feeling awkward for no reason, I got up first and dusted myself off.
“Since you’re here, have a meal before you go.”
Nicknames:
- “Eddie” – Pet name for Edgar
- “Cedy” – Pet name for Cedric
- “Ret” – Pet name for Riette
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
