Chapter 3. Beauty (1)
Fear and the pit and the snare have come upon us, devastation and destruction.
Lamentations 3:47
***
In the early dawn tinged with bluish light, Eckart was just leaving the confessional.
He had confessed his sins, sought forgiveness, and received salvation through the priest. Having been instructed in penance befitting his sins, his heart felt considerably lighter.
“Even the Commander goes to confession. Do you actually commit sins?”
A group wearing the same clothes as Eckart approached. The words came from one whose fierce countenance made him look more like a mercenary than a holy knight based on appearance alone.
“Lef.”
“A commander confessing sins—I really can’t imagine it. What sins could someone as upright and honest as you possibly commit?”
With his mocking tone and sneering face, it seemed like he was picking a fight. However, those who had been with him for a long time knew this was just Lef’s basic manner of speaking and expression, so they didn’t think much of it. He was just naturally cynical and negative. So much so that one might wonder if he even doubted God.
Eckart didn’t answer, but the other knights nearby speculated among themselves.
“Well, it’s probably nothing major. Maybe he stepped on a bug while walking?”
“Or perhaps he saw fruit at a stall and imagined eating it… something like that?”
“That sounds about right.”
The knights laughed among themselves at their own suggestions. Lef also chuckled, saying “That would be just like the Commander.” Even that, due to the deep wrinkles between his eyebrows and the way only one corner of his mouth lifted, came across as a sneer.
“That’s enough, all of you.”
“…Yes, sir. Commander.”
He wasn’t petty enough to get angry over the knights’ teasing. He drew appropriate lines while accepting everything that didn’t cross them. Knowing this, the knights felt comfortable joking around and bantering with their commander. This wasn’t a battlefield, and in private settings, such familiarity was acceptable among comrades who had been together for so long.
“Oh, Commander. I knew you’d be here!”
It was Ardwino. Just when they’d noticed that he, who was always attached to Eckart’s side, was missing, he appeared right on cue. The other knights quietly slipped away. Ardwino, who had glanced at them briefly, continued speaking.
“Do you still come to confession every morning? What sins do you commit every night that you’re in and out of the confessional every other day?”
Eckart had no answer, but Ardwino seemed unsurprised, treating it as nothing unusual. It was a conversation they repeated every time.
“Since I’m here anyway, I should confess too. Just wait a moment. Don’t go anywhere. Okay? You absolutely must stay here!”
After earnestly requesting this, Ardwino headed to the confessional. Eckart let out a small sigh and sat on the wooden bench in front of the cathedral to wait for him. He’d follow and stick to him one way or another anyway, so staying here as requested would at least spare him some nagging.
Ardwino emerged from the confessional grumbling in a disgruntled voice.
“Fifty Hail Marys and one good deed—the penance is too harsh for the sin. What about you, Commander?”
“Didn’t you learn that such things shouldn’t be spoken of or asked about?”
“…I suppose I did.”
Looking sheepish, Ardwino quickly changed the subject.
“Anyway, you must have at least one good deed included, right? Let’s hurry and go make amends.”
Whether there really was a good deed mixed in as Ardwino suggested, Eckart obediently followed him. Ardwino’s face was bright red from trying to suppress his laughter. Others said Eckart was an inscrutable man, but to Ardwino, he wasn’t like that at all. What an easy-to-read man he was.
Since it was still early and the Papal territory was always a quiet and peaceful city, the two decided to ride to a more bustling city. Among the nearby territories, Antonello was definitely the noisiest and most incident-prone, so the decision didn’t take long.
As expected, the entire street was bustling from morning. The streets felt so cramped it seemed like every kind of goods imaginable was on display, and all sorts of animals hindered their passage. While there were groups arguing here and there, they were over trivial matters that didn’t warrant intervention, and it was difficult to lead horses through, so they decided to move to a somewhat more spacious area.
Ardwino guided them to the garden he had visited recently. He thought it would be spacious and less complicated, yet a place where various people gathered. And in that garden, they encountered someone unexpected.
“Oh? That person we saw at the banquet before…”
Even without Ardwino saying anything, Eckart’s gaze was already fixed on a woman walking leisurely in the distance as if taking a stroll. Just like the first day he saw her, he couldn’t look away.
Though she had draped multiple layers of fabric as if to hide her face, her presence didn’t diminish in the slightest, and anyone would recognize her.
Ardwino muttered with a subtle expression as if something had just occurred to him.
“What an incredible beauty she is. Don’t you think? Even with her face covered like that, her beauty can’t be concealed. I’ve never seen such a woman before.”
“…I suppose so.”
Ardwino had deliberately used the word “woman” to test Eckart, and he was making strange expressions trying not to laugh. At Eckart’s response, he finally couldn’t hold back and burst out laughing.
It was the moment it was revealed that Eckart truly mistook that person for a woman. He had suspected it, but it was actually true. How could someone mistake an obviously male person for a woman just because he was wearing women’s clothes!
“…Why are you laughing?”
“No, it’s nothing.”
Eckart couldn’t take his eyes off the woman. A few steps away, two familiar men appeared. While he had thought she wouldn’t be alone, seeing them actually appear made him feel strange. As if he had hoped she would be alone.
Hakan, who hadn’t yet noticed that the two knights were watching them, was yawning repeatedly with his mouth wide open. His eyes were brimming with tears from the continuous yawning, half-closed.
“I really hate mornings.”
It was quite a resolute tone. Since most banquets were held at night, Hakan naturally always woke up late and started his activities then, but the Grand Duke had barged in at the crack of dawn and dragged him out. He couldn’t help but be full of complaints.
“Suddenly wanting to take a walk, and at this hour too. If you’re going to walk, shouldn’t it properly be done under the languid afternoon sun?”
Hakan, who had been continuing his timid complaints, gestured with his chin toward Ronen walking ahead and added:
“And in such an outfit? Don’t tell me this is the Duke’s new hobby? Have you awakened to this kind of taste without my knowledge?”
Ronen was dressed like a lady again. Whether it was the previous dress that had been altered, it showed elegant splendor closer to a noble family’s young lady than a brothel prostitute. Moreover, he wore a flowing cape over the dress, so that anyone unfamiliar would mistake him for a very tall woman.
Instead of a mask, he wore a hat, and the mesh lace attached to the hat came down almost to his collarbone, covering his face. It was layered so many times that his face was barely visible.
At Hakan’s words, the Grand Duke was silent for a moment. He too had no particular interest in cross-dressing, and having Ronen wear women’s clothes didn’t make him look like a woman, and above all, he didn’t wish for him to be a woman either. However, when Ronen said this was the only way to hide the shackles on his face and ankles, and asked how about altering a dress since it wouldn’t suit men’s formal wear, what could he do? He had already made him wear it once—why not twice?
Besides, Ronen in a dress gave off a peculiar atmosphere in its own way. When he removed the cape, you could see his flat chest clearly under the dress, and strangely, this excited him. It wouldn’t be bad to keep the dress on and just lift the skirt to thrust into him.
Perhaps he really did have such tastes without realizing it.
However, feeling no need to answer, he ignored the question. Whether he listened or not, Hakan kept chattering away to the unresponsive Grand Duke.
“I’ve actually been losing sleep over worries lately. What kind of worries, you ask… Duke, I’ve had a rather special experience recently. It definitely wasn’t a dream, but it feels too much like a dream, and it might have been a hallucination from being drugged, but the sensations remain vivid. I have no idea what to make of it either. What should I do about this?”
Hakan looked at Grand Duke Canis while asking for his opinion, but seeing that he was still only looking ahead, he sighed.
“I was wrong to ask you. This is something you’d never understand… I think I’ve encountered a serpent. It’s tempting me and offering me dangerous fruit. I feel like I shouldn’t eat it, but I… I’m curious about the taste. How sweet it might be, how amazing the flavor could be. What should I do?”
While Hakan was lost in deep contemplation alone, the Grand Duke was slowly looking over Ronen walking ahead.
Whether the rare walk pleased him greatly, Ronen would lift his head to look at the sun, extend his hand to feel the wind, and enjoy the leisure by himself. Even when he showed interest in white flower buds that had bloomed cheerfully despite the chilly weather, bending at the waist to admire them, the Grand Duke thought, ‘Did he like flowers that much? I suppose it’s not only women who find charm in flowers,’ and reached his own conclusion that this must be why he had no interest in jewels.
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
