Chi Zhan hadn’t even finished his sentence when Chu Xingxiao shut the door behind them. The light from the hallway vanished in an instant, and the apartment was still cloaked in darkness. Just as Chi Zhan reached out to turn on the light, Chu Xingxiao braced one hand against the cabinet, boxing him in completely. His eyes were rimmed red, and his voice trembled as he asked, almost choking on the words—
“Gege… don’t you want me anymore?”
***
Something was off about Chu Xingxiao.
From the very start, he’d looked utterly devastated—like a soul whose world had just been torn apart. Had something happened to him on the way here?
But Chu Xingxiao just stared at Chi Zhan, his eyes mirroring those of a stray dog abandoned on the street. For a fleeting moment, Chi Zhan had the strange illusion that Chu Xingxiao might actually start crying.
Chi Zhan had always had a soft spot for people crying.
His tone unconsciously gentled as he tried to soothe him.
“Didn’t we agree this morning to go watch the match together? We can still be friends,” he said patiently. “Like before.”
Chu Xingxiao’s knuckles had gone white from clenching his fists. He’d sat outside Chi Zhan’s apartment door for hours, but Chi Zhan never came back. That long wait had conjured all sorts of torturous images in his mind.
Maybe by now, Chi Zhan and Qi Song were already in a relationship. Maybe they’d gone out for dinner. Maybe Chi Zhan had smiled at him, kissed him. Maybe they’d even booked a hotel room together…
Just the thought of it made his chest throb painfully.
Those hours of waiting had been nothing short of torment—pure, self-inflicted hell. His heart had sunk deeper and deeper, like it was being dragged into a bottomless ocean.
Chi Zhan still hadn’t forgiven him.
And aside from Qi Song, there was that scumbag doctor, not to mention Zhou Yanxing, who was never a decent person to begin with. Meanwhile, he himself had been shut out, left with no hope of return.
If Chi Zhan hadn’t come home that night, Chu Xingxiao didn’t know what he might’ve done.
“Let me go first, I’ll get you some—”
Chi Zhan tried to push him away, intending to pour a cup of hot water or something else. After sitting outside in the cold for so long, he was worried Chu Xingxiao might come down with a fever.
Lately, Chu Xingxiao had been walking on eggshells around him, terrified of saying anything that might piss him off. And truthfully, Chi Zhan hadn’t felt great about that either.
But Chu Xingxiao didn’t let go.
His breathing was heavy and icy, his eyes dark and intense like a predator zeroing in on its prey.
“I don’t want to be just friends,” Chu Xingxiao said, enunciating each word slowly and clearly. “I love you, Chi Zhan. I love you. I’m not giving up.” His voice was low and hoarse, with a dangerous glint in his eyes. “Even if you don’t love me now, I’ll wait until you do.”
His grip around Chi Zhan tightened to the point of pain. The look in his eyes was almost unhinged, a whirlwind of emotions teetering on the edge of madness. For the first time, Chi Zhan instinctively wanted to escape.
But before he could react, Chu Xingxiao suddenly leaned against him, his full weight collapsing onto Chi Zhan’s shoulder. The momentum nearly sent both of them toppling to the floor, and Chi Zhan barely managed to stay upright.
Startled, Chi Zhan blurted, “What’s wrong with you?”
“Dizzy…”
Chu Xingxiao murmured weakly, eyes shut.
“…Seriously?”
Chi Zhan was caught between exasperation and amusement.
One second he was a feral wolf, baring his fangs. The next, he’d turned into a sickly, clingy pup. Chi Zhan grumbled under his breath as he half-carried, half-dragged him over to the couch.
Low blood sugar, by the looks of it.
Chi Zhan was just about to fetch something sweet when his sleeve was tugged. Chu Xingxiao’s face was pale and drawn, the beauty mark beneath his eye adding a touch of fragile vulnerability. The veins on the back of his hand were stark and blue, and still, he refused to let go.
Chu Xingxiao always looked like he couldn’t care less about the world, his eyelids perpetually lowered. His health wasn’t the best either—worse than Chi Zhan’s, even.
But even sick, he wasn’t about to give up.
“Lie still,” Chi Zhan snapped. “Stop moving.”
Chu Xingxiao pressed his lips into a stubborn line. Even dizzy and out of it, he refused to back down. “If I let go, you’ll leave.”
“This is my apartment.” Chi Zhan stared at him, baffled. “Where would I even go? Next door? To the room you deliberately flooded?”
Chu Xingxiao’s eyelashes trembled. He slowly let go and turned his back, curling up on the couch like he was emotionally shutting down.
Chi Zhan ignored him and went to boil some water. He rummaged through the fridge and managed to find an apple and some chocolate.
The apples were leftover from Christmas—a gift from someone. There were too many, and Chi Zhan hadn’t bothered finishing them.
He also had some unopened honey from a previous supermarket run. He knew how miserable low blood sugar could be.
While waiting for the water to boil, the living room remained quiet. Chi Zhan glanced over a few times, still a little uneasy. Finally, he brought the chocolate over.
“Eat something first. How long has it been since you last ate?”
Chu Xingxiao lay motionless on the couch, his bangs messy and drooping over his brows. He was wearing a deep black windbreaker, unbuttoned at the top. Underneath was just a thin T-shirt, his collarbones stark and prominent.
He cracked an eye open at the sound of Chi Zhan’s voice, then looked away, his tone curt.
“Didn’t eat.”
Which meant he hadn’t eaten anything all day.
Chi Zhan hadn’t expected that answer. A mix of emotions crossed his face as he held the chocolate to Chu Xingxiao’s lips.
“Whatever the situation, eat something first.”
That was Chi Zhan—always like this.
Treating him with warmth one moment, only to shove him away without hesitation the next.
“When you’re done, you better explain why you didn’t show up or answer your phone. I was this close to calling the cops.”
Chu Xingxiao stared up at him with those pitch-black eyes. After a moment, he lazily took the chocolate into his mouth—then, out of nowhere, bit down lightly on Chi Zhan’s fingertip… and gave it a slow, deliberate lick.
Chi Zhan froze. A warm, damp sensation spread from the tip of his finger. But Chu Xingxiao wore a perfectly innocent expression as he mumbled—
“Had some on your hand.”
The chocolate had gotten on his finger—so he licked it off.
