“Don’t worry about what those people say. They’re just talking without knowing anything.”
Seunghyun spoke in a gentle tone, as if comforting him. There wasn’t the slightest hint of resentment toward Suhwan from him. While this was reassuring, Suhwan began to feel increasingly doubtful about Seunghyun not blaming him at all.
Perhaps this was something he had been thinking about since Seunghyun confessed to him. His wet face turned toward Seunghyun who was right in front of him.
“…Seunghyun.”
“Don’t cry, Suhwan hyung.”
Long, delicate fingers wiped around Suhwan’s eyes. He even seemed accustomed to wiping Suhwan’s crying face now. Feeling belated embarrassment, Suhwan squeezed his eyes shut, causing large teardrops to roll down his cheeks.
“I’m sorry. Because of me, you’re hearing such things too.”
“How is that your fault? It’s the people who speak carelessly without knowing anything who are wrong.”
“Do you… really think so?”
“What?”
“The fact is, I did some terrible things to you.”
Although these weren’t things that the manifested Suhwan had done, and he couldn’t even remember the events not mentioned in the novel, it would be different for Seunghyun. After all, to him, Suhwan would still appear to be the same Jin Suhwan as before.
While he was grateful and happy that Seunghyun said he liked him, there was a lingering doubt in the corner of his mind. How could he forgive so easily and feel affection? Could this be a sweet trap staged by Seunghyun to exact revenge on the former Jin Suhwan? The questions he had tried not to think about deeply flowed from Suhwan’s lips.
“But how… how can you like me? I… I don’t deserve…”
“Hyung, Suhwan hyung.”
As Suhwan poured out negative words, Seunghyun urgently grabbed his shoulders and called his name. Suhwan looked up at Seunghyun’s anxious face with blurry eyes.
“For me, it’s already in the past. I absolutely don’t resent you. Please believe me.”
“But.”
“…Ugh!”
“…!”
In his emotional state, Suhwan tightly gripped Seunghyun’s left wrist. A small groan escaped from Seunghyun’s lips.
As Suhwan let go in shock, Seunghyun quickly pulled down his sleeve to cover his wrist. But before he could conceal it, Suhwan saw the scar.
“That, could it be…”
He had hidden it well until now. Either covered by a watch or sleeve, or not visible at night, Suhwan hadn’t noticed. But now, of all times, it was painfully visible. Suhwan gasped for breath like someone being strangled.
“That scar… did I…”
Jin Suhwan’s karma was thrust before Suhwan once again. This time it wasn’t a mere assumption or dialogue recalled as if from someone else’s story. The scar on Seunghyun’s wrist was screaming in front of his eyes that it was an indelible past.
“Hyung!”
“Hic.”
Seunghyun tightly embraced Suhwan, who had burst into tears again. About to struggle to break free, Suhwan instead froze his body rigid, afraid he might hurt Seunghyun again.
Damn it, Seunghyun swallowed a curse as he frowned. It was a wound that now felt too old, one he couldn’t even remember how he got. It wasn’t worth Suhwan crying over such a scar.
But he also knew how emotionally fragile the current Suhwan was. Soon, pheromones that calmed Suhwan flowed from Seunghyun.
“Hyung, Suhwan hyung. It really doesn’t bother me anymore. Okay? Please believe me.”
“Hic, sniff.”
“It’s okay. It doesn’t hurt at all. So please don’t cry.”
Suhwan trembled at the caring touch that stroked his back. He didn’t want to cry, but tears kept flowing. His anxiety actually increased because of Seunghyun’s comforting.
What if… someday the manifested self disappears? What if Jin Suhwan returns and torments Seunghyun again? The thought that Seunghyun might be hurt even more made Suhwan fearful.
“What if I… what if I hurt you again?”
“You hurt me?”
“It could happen. What if I… like I did before…”
Unable to continue speaking, he gripped Seunghyun’s clothes tightly. It seemed ridiculous that while saying such things, he was strongly holding onto Seunghyun’s clothing, not wanting to be separated from him. Seunghyun, who had been stroking Suhwan’s back, asked in a small voice:
“Are you going to hurt me?”
“…!”
“You said you’d make me happy.”
The whispered voice reminded him of what he had said to Seunghyun not long ago. Just a rash statement made from an overwhelmed heart. But Seunghyun had been genuinely happy about it. Even now, his eyes were shining like a boy in love.
“I did… say that, but I don’t deserve…”
“It’s okay. I’m lacking a lot for you too.”
“No! No. You’re… too good for me.”
“It’s the same for me. You’re just too lovable.”
“Lovable…”
Slowly repeating Seunghyun’s words, Suhwan’s face reddened. Looking down at Suhwan’s flushed face, Seunghyun whispered with an amused voice:
“I’ll tell you how lovable you are. The way you get embarrassed every time I kiss you is lovable, the way you eat macarons looks lovable, and the way you pretend to resist while moving your hips at night is really lovable…”
“Stop, stop it!”
Covering Seunghyun’s mouth with his hand, Suhwan shouted with a face that looked about to explode. Even normally, Seunghyun would say nonsensical things like how cute he was, but this time he had gone too far.
“You’re lying, just trying to tease me again.”
“No, I really could talk all night about it.”
“Ugh.”
At the same time, Seunghyun’s pheromones washed over him. They were rich and hot pheromones, full of Seunghyun’s current emotions. The scent was impossible to dismiss as a lie.
“We can do well together. We got through the rut well, didn’t we? Don’t you remember?”
“…I remember.”
The dream he had then still comes to mind occasionally. Perhaps as long as he’s with Seunghyun, he’ll never be able to shake off his anxiety. The more he likes Seunghyun, the more he wants to protect him, the more he will inevitably distrust himself.
“I like you.”
“…”
“No matter what you do to me, I like you. I’m sincere.”
Yet he couldn’t reject Seunghyun. It seemed he had already come to like Seunghyun too much. Suhwan buried his wet face in Seunghyun’s shoulder and hugged him tightly.
“I like you too, I like you so much.”
“Suhwan hyung.”
“I’m sorry. For trying to give you up… For trying to leave you…”
“…”
From an angle Suhwan couldn’t see, a sharp light flashed momentarily in Seunghyun’s eyes. But it disappeared instantly, quickly returning to normal.
“Yes, don’t think that way again.”
“Yes… yes.”
“Stay by my side always.”
“Yes.”
When their eyes met, Suhwan closed his. The lips of his anxious lover were still sweet. Licking Suhwan’s lips, Seunghyun exhaled in relief.
“Ah, Suhwan hyung.”
“Mmm.”
He sucked hard on the plump lips, and gently ran his tongue inside his mouth as if soothing him. He also brought his lips down to various parts of Suhwan’s wet face. Soon, it was no longer cries but wet moans that began to flow from Suhwan’s mouth.
“From now on, I’ll work harder so you won’t feel anxious.”
“Work harder?”
“Yes.”
Seunghyun nodded and lowered his lips. Past the pointed chin tip, he nuzzled around the neck, and lifted the t-shirt to caress the smooth skin.
“Ahnn.”
“I thought I was expressing myself enough, but seeing you anxious, I guess I wasn’t.”
Murmuring as if regretful, Seunghyun quickly became excited and licked the now erect nipple with his tongue. Suhwan was surprised by the atmosphere that had suddenly turned sensual.
“By working harder, you mean this… ah.”
“I’ll love you more from now on.”
“I think it’s already enough… ngh.”
When he firmly bit the sensitive spot, a louder moan escaped from Suhwan’s mouth. It was because the area that had been thoroughly bitten and licked last night felt extremely sensitive. As Suhwan tried to suppress his moans, Seunghyun teasingly extended his tongue to the bitten area and licked it as if sucking on candy.
“It doesn’t seem enough to me. I’m hurt that you don’t acknowledge my sincerity.”
“That’s… ahh.”
“I’ll make sure you never say such things again.”
Seunghyun’s smiling face was still beautiful, but somehow looked frightening. Once again, Suhwan had no choice but to be helplessly drawn to him.
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
