Chapter 34
“You… you didn’t push her, did you?”
Sorta’s question went unanswered. The heavy silence made Asher turn away, unable to listen any longer. He hurried back to his room, slamming the door shut. His heart pounded wildly, and tears welled in his eyes. Overwhelmed, he slid down against the door, silently sobbing.
Jan’s betrayal was bad enough, but the fear of his surroundings crashed over him. His safety was more fragile than he’d thought. He had assumed he’d be fine until the real Asher appeared, but this blind trust had led to a brutal betrayal. The thought that Jan, whom he had trusted, had been planning to kill him all along sent chills down his spine.
“Hic…”
Even as he covered his mouth, sobs slipped through his fingers. The tea they had mentioned—the one he’d been drinking whenever he felt unwell—must have been poisoned. He didn’t know what was in it, but it was clearly threatening his life. His recent poor health suddenly made sense. He had assumed it was just the heat, but now, realizing it might have been poison all along, nausea rose in his throat.
Asher had always known that, as a troublemaker, there were people in the ducal household who disliked him. But he had never sensed any hatred from Jan during all the time they’d spent together. Ironically, he had never once tried to read Jan’s emotions.
“You already knew… that I can’t read emotions.”
That was why he had never questioned what Jan was thinking, never doubted him. Jan had always been ordinary, so Asher had never suspected a thing. Now, he realized Jan had avoided physical contact with him, always protecting Asher’s bare skin with gloves or the edges of his sleeves. The naivety of his blind trust made tears stream down his face.
“Hngh… hngh…”
He couldn’t trust anyone here. His past actions were unforgivable, and perhaps he should be grateful just to be alive. The thought made him bury his face in his arms. After crying for what felt like hours, Asher flinched at the knock behind him. Just hearing it sent shivers down his spine.
“It’s time for tea.”
“……Go away.”
“Young Master?”
“I want to rest. Don’t come back until I call for you.”
He forced himself to suppress his sobs, but his raw emotions still seeped through. Asher firmly told him to leave and stood up, walking toward the bed.
Memories of Jan flashed through his mind. The first thing that came to mind was the pure smile Jan had once given him. The betrayal stung all the more because he had genuinely cared for Jan. Asher hugged his knees, curling into a ball.
Now that he knew Jan wanted to kill him, he couldn’t keep him close. But he couldn’t just cut Jan off without reason, and he hesitated to tell the Duke’s people—what if they were all in on it? Even Toms, his guard, seemed suspicious. Asher closed his eyes against the burning sensation and sighed quietly.
***
Asher called all the servants except Jan as soon as dawn broke. Before, he had found it burdensome to have so many attendants, but now, he felt safer with more people around. Unfamiliar hands fussed over him, and Asher dismissed the servants, heading toward the railing on the right side—the place where the original Asher had fallen and lost his memory.
Not far from the second-floor dining room, the railing was near a large tree. Given the original Asher’s athleticism, he had likely tried to climb down using the tree. But perhaps he had sat to rest, and Jan had pushed him.
The thought that Jan was the culprit sent chills down Asher’s spine.
“I never suspected Jan…”
Asher squeezed his eyes shut, horrified by the idea. Then, a voice made his eyelids flutter open.
“Young Master.”
He didn’t need to turn around to know it was Jan. They had spent months together. Asher kept his gaze on the window as he replied.
“Speak.”
His voice was noticeably colder. Jan knelt.
“If I’ve done something wrong…!”
“Jan.”
“Yes?”
“There are too many eyes here. Let’s talk inside.”
Asher walked past the kneeling Jan and entered the room. Jan, surprised, blinked before following him inside.
“……Young Master.”
“Go on.”
“If I’ve made a mistake… I’ll accept any punishment! Just give me one more chance! Please… Young Master.”
Jan knelt, pressing his forehead to the floor, his voice desperate. Before, Asher would have told him to get up, but now, his heart wasn’t as forgiving. He looked at Jan with dry eyes and slowly spoke.
“I’ve never been angry at you, nor have I asked you to apologize. So get up, Jan.”
Jan’s eyes trembled violently at Asher’s gentle but firm tone.
“Come to think of it, I’ve never given you a break. You’ve been working hard alone in this heat, carrying all my burdens. Why don’t you take some time off to visit your family and rest?”
Jan’s face paled. He looked desperate, as if leaving was the last thing he wanted.
“I have no family. Serving you hasn’t been hard at all. So… can you take back the leave?”
Asher remained silent, his face as calm as a peaceful morning, a faint smile on his lips.
“I know you care for me. And I know how hard you’ve worked. So take this time to rest. Don’t worry about me.”
His smiling yet resolute words made Jan’s head drop. He clenched his fists, his lips trembling as if he were furious at the situation.
“If it’s your command, I’ll obey.”
“Good. Take your time and rest well. I hope you come back refreshed.”
“…….”
“I’ll make sure you have plenty of severance pay for your break.”
Asher cut the conversation short, not wanting to say more. Jan’s eyes flickered with frustration, but he quickly composed himself, bowing politely before slowly standing.
“Understood. Please… take care of yourself until then.”
It almost sounded like, Don’t die before I return. A chill ran down Asher’s neck, and he stared blankly at the spot where Jan had stood.
“Toms.”
At Asher’s call, Toms, who had been waiting outside, entered. Honestly, Asher suspected everyone, but he couldn’t afford to waste time in suspicion. He needed to find out who this “Mari” was and what Asher had done to her.
“I trust you, Toms.”
“I am always your man, Young Master. I swear my loyalty to you until my dying breath.”
The unwavering resolve in his eyes made Asher smile faintly.
“Investigate a girl named Mari who used to work here.”
Perhaps that would naturally reveal more about Jan as well.
“Of course, this must not leak to anyone. No one should know I’m looking into their backgrounds.”
“I’ll handle it perfectly, without a single mistake.”
Reassured, Toms gave a firm bow. Asher nodded for him to leave, watching him go.
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
