I had no obligation to keep the promise I had made with him under near-duress, but watching him smile in front of me made my resolve waver. Whether in the past or now, I was always weak against that face.
Even after letting go of his intertwined fingers, I didn’t leave his room. I knew there was no reason to keep the promise, yet for some reason, my feet refused to move. Seeing me lingering in place, a lovely flush bloomed on his pale cheeks.
I walked past him, who was glowing with happiness, and headed toward the table by the window. He trailed right behind me and took a seat across from me.
Resting his arms on the table, he leaned forward deeply. Because of the sudden decrease in distance, I instinctively pressed my back firmly against the chair. His long eyelashes fluttered as he put on an adorably charming act, but I deliberately avoided looking at him and spoke in the bluntest tone possible.
“If you have something to say, say it quickly.”
“Yes, I should.”
He responded brightly but didn’t continue speaking. If this was how it was going to be, then why had he insisted on making me promise not to run away and have a conversation?
I was the only one growing anxious in the prolonged silence. Meanwhile, he kept smiling, thoroughly enjoying my discomfort. Moments like these made it obvious—he was undeniably a Shining.
“Are you going to talk or not?”
“I will.”
“That’s the third time you’ve said that—”
A hand gently touched my cheek. His body temperature was colder than most, and the chill made me shudder. His eyes, filled with mirth, curved into an enchanting crescent shape. It was that smile—Vin’s smile—the one he always gave me right before he asked for something.
“Come with me to District 1.”
“…….”
“I don’t want to be apart from you anymore, Seo-yul hyung. So come with me to District 1.”
I had no idea what the hell he was talking about. All of a sudden, he wanted me to go to District 1 with him? As I stared at him blankly, he pressed his thumb gently against my closed lips, urging me for an answer.
I pushed his hand away and took a deep breath to calm the emotions surging inside me. Once I had steadied myself, I looked at him—who seemed utterly convinced that I wouldn’t refuse—and spoke in a composed voice.
“No.”
“Why not?”
“No, I mean, why would I even—”
“You don’t want to be apart from me either, Seo-yul hyung.”
His voice was filled with certainty, leaving me momentarily speechless. Just yesterday, I had told him that I had never once missed him. And yet, here he was, acting as if that conversation had never happened. No, more than that—he was pushing forward as if it didn’t matter in the slightest.
He stood up from his seat and approached me. Leaning against the table at an angle, he reached out again. Startled, I instinctively moved back, rising from my chair in a hurry. The chair scraped violently against the floor before toppling over with a loud clatter.
His eyes wavered—just for a moment. But he quickly regained his composure, letting out a long sigh as he straightened his posture. With the increased height difference, the atmosphere between us shifted, becoming heavier, more oppressive.
“Was my proposal too sudden?”
He tilted his head slightly. I couldn’t tell if he was genuinely unaware or if he was testing me. As I hesitated to answer, he gently rubbed the back of his hand, where the veins were subtly raised, and continued speaking as if to himself.
“It might seem sudden to you, Seo-yul hyung, but I’ve been thinking about it for a long time. I’d love for us to stay here together like before, but things have changed. If we want to stay together, the only way is for me to take you to District 1.”
“……”
“So—”
Just as he was about to finish, he briefly loosened his fingers from mine—only to interlace them even more tightly. He bent down to meet my gaze, whispering in a voice sweeter than cocoa.
“There’s nothing to worry about. All you have to do is follow me, Seo-yul hyung.”
For a fleeting moment, my wavering eyes nearly betrayed the emotions I was trying to hide. A selfish part of me whispered not to let go of his hand, but the reality I couldn’t ignore held me back.
The guilt of sending him to District 1, the unresolved issue with pheromones—how could I possibly face him like this?
“No. I’m not going to District 1.”
His radiant smile instantly hardened at my firm refusal. He let go of my hand, his fingers slipping away lifelessly as he straightened his back.
“Why not?”
“Well—”
“You like me too, Seo-yul hyung.”
And just like that, the conversation reset to the very beginning. Trying to reason with him was more frustrating than teaching a child their first words. I took a deep breath, about to calmly reject him again, but he stepped forward, cutting off my retreat.
“Tell me why you can’t go. Not that it matters—I’m taking you with me no matter what. But I’ll at least listen.”
As I instinctively backed away from his overwhelming presence, my back suddenly hit the wall. With my escape route completely blocked, I met his eyes head-on. There was a flicker of something unsettling in his gaze.
“No matter what, I’m not going to District 1. I have no reason to, and where I belong is in District 5—”
“No, Seo-yul hyung. Where you belong is right next to me.”
“Don’t fucking start.”
I finally snapped, unable to hold back my anger any longer. I had been barely restraining myself from using harsh words, but his blatant disregard for everything I said sent my frustration skyrocketing.
I wanted to know—what exactly made him think that if he just demanded I go with him, I would agree? Not that I intended to ask.
I pushed him away as he blocked my path, biting my lip in frustration, but he didn’t budge an inch. He stood firm, as if he had no intention of stepping aside. When I glared at him, his only response was a bright smile—he was just happy that I was looking at him.
At this point, I wasn’t even angry anymore. I just felt wretched. What was I to him that made him so blindly devoted? In the end, I had saved him only because I needed to survive. And I had handed him over to District 1 for the same reason—to stay alive.
I was never someone worth loving. It was too pathetic. Too miserable.
“You don’t have to worry about anything, Seo-yul hyung. I’ll take care of everything. So once this investigation is over, let’s go to District 1 togeth—”
“You think Han Jae-hoon sold you out, don’t you? No, it wasn’t him. It was me. I’m the one who sold you to District 1 in exchange for electricity. Did you know that?”
I couldn’t hold it in any longer. If I wanted to push him away for good, I had to tell him the truth. That way, whatever feelings he had left for me would be completely shattered. So I finally spilled the truth I never wanted to say out loud.
“I don’t know what the District 1 leader told you, but I’m the one who handed you over. They promised to increase the power supply to our district if I gave you up. Why the hell would I refuse? Just one person—you—for the sake of an entire district!”
“……”
“So wake the fuck up already. Stop acting like a fool, obsessing over the bastard who sold you out, and don’t do something you’ll regret.”
Each word I spoke felt like it was tearing my chest apart. The pain was like being stabbed over and over again, but I forced myself to finish.
He stood there, silently listening to everything I said. Not a single flicker of emotion crossed his face—he just took it all in without any visible reaction.
“Just do your job and get the hell back to your district.”
This should be enough. Any lingering affection he had should be gone now. If he had any sense, he’d curse at me, push me away, call me a traitor.
I wanted him to do that. I desperately wished he would say he never wanted to see me again, that this filthy connection between us should end here.
That way, he’d finally break free from me. He wouldn’t foolishly cling to the past anymore.
But even after a long silence, he didn’t speak. I thought maybe he was too shocked to respond, but his face didn’t look particularly shaken.
Then, with an air of complete nonchalance, he finally spoke.
“Are you done?”
“…Didn’t you hear me? I told you—I’m the one who sold you out!”
“I know.”
“What?”
His unexpected answer left my mind completely blank. Maybe I had misheard him. Maybe I was in denial. But then, as if to make sure I understood, he repeated himself with more weight in his voice.
“I already knew.”
“…Then why…?”
“Because it didn’t matter.”
His clear ruby-red eyes didn’t waver in the slightest. He was telling the truth. It really didn’t matter to him—whether I had betrayed him or not meant absolutely nothing.
“If it was you, Seo-yul hyung, then there must’ve been a reason. But honestly, I didn’t even care about the reason. For the past eight years, the only thing that kept me going was the thought of seeing you again. That thought was the only thing that got me through that shitty time.”
“I—I…”
He took a step closer, his hand reaching out. His cold fingers brushed lightly against my cheek before pressing gently against my lips, as if to tell me to stop talking.
“From the moment you walked into that storage room, you were the only light in my life, Seo-yul hyung. And for the past eight years, I’ve been trapped in the dark again, waiting. It felt like I was locked away in that pitch-black room all over again.”
A memory flickered before my eyes—young Vin, waiting in the dark. The small child who had done nothing but wait for me to open that door. And now, that same child, all grown up, had been waiting for me again.
Waiting for me to look at him. To come back for him.
But I had been too much of a coward. I never had the courage to go to him.
So instead, he had come to find me—this time, armed with power and influence, ensuring that he would never lose me again.
“Tell me one more time.” His voice was soft, pleading. “Did you really never miss me?”
