A few days ago, I pleaded with him, and maybe it had some effect—because now, I was allowed to move a little more freely. My range had expanded from just the bedroom to the small garden right in front of it. Not that it made much of a difference. The eyes watching me remained as vigilant as ever, and stepping beyond the garden was impossible. But at least, being able to leave the bedroom gave me a small sense of relief. At the very least, I could take a short walk.
“You must not go too far.”
The garden was enclosed on all sides by walls. Without responding, I walked toward the farthest point from the guards. Under the large tree, I sat down on the soft grass and let my gaze sweep over the tiny garden.
‘It’s so small.’
Compared to the gardens in District 5, this one was minuscule. I could take in everything at a glance—a single large tree, a patch of grass, and yellow flowers in bloom. It reminded me of somewhere.
Yes, this place was a near replica of that secret garden in the woods—the one I had visited with Vin the first time I left the warehouse. That was when I realized he had deliberately designed this place to resemble that memory.
“What’s the point of all this?”
I muttered, plucking a flower nearby. No matter how much he tried to recreate it, this wasn’t District 5. If anything, it only made me long for it more. And for the small boy who had been there with me.
I brushed the crumbled petals from my hand and leaned against the tree. As I closed my eyes, a gentle breeze carried the faint scent of flowers toward me.
The entire garden was filled with evening primroses. Flowers that waited only for the moon. It was also the scent of his pheromones. That’s why, even though he wasn’t here, it felt like he was. No matter where I went, it felt like he was always there.
“…Vin.”
I whispered his name before I even realized it, then quickly covered my mouth. Had anyone heard me? Fortunately, there was no one nearby. The guards were still watching me, but my voice wouldn’t have reached them from here.
My thoughts were tangled. I despised him, and yet, at the same time, I missed the boy he used to be. How was I supposed to make sense of this? Even though these were my own emotions, I couldn’t understand them.
—I’m sorry.
That had been an apology meant for me, hadn’t it? But the man I knew—the one I had seen until now—wasn’t the type to regret turning District 5 into what it was, nor to mourn Se-yul’s death. He seemed to lack the basic morality that normal people possessed.
Was sending you to District 1 the mistake?
But if I hadn’t sent Vin away back then, Han Jae-hoon would never have let him be. Either way, it was true that my pheromones had been unstable, and it was also true that Vin’s pheromones had been the cause.
‘I feel powerless.’
Back then, and even now, I hadn’t changed at all. I was still the same powerless fool who couldn’t protect a single precious thing. Vin, District 5, Se-yul—I had lost everything. What the hell was even left for me now?
—I love you, Seo-yul hyung.
That kind of confession… now, just hearing it made me sick.
I pushed aside my tangled emotions and prepared to head back to my room. Sitting in a place that resembled District 5 was making me think about things I didn’t need to. No matter how similar it looked, it was still a fake.
As I brushed off my clothes and stood up, I saw him approaching from a distance. After dismissing the guards nearby, he walked toward me as if it were the most natural thing in the world and took my hand. His cold skin sent a small shiver through my body.
“Already heading back?”
“…That’s my decision.”
I turned away from him and tried to shake off his grip, but just as his hand seemed to let go, it grabbed my arm instead. He pulled me toward him, making me lose my balance, and before I knew it, I was sitting back down beneath the tree.
“Stay with me a little longer before going in.”
Without waiting for an answer, he laid his head on my lap. I glared at him for doing whatever he pleased, but he had already turned onto his side, showing no intention of moving. In the end, as always, I was the one to give in first.
Lying beside me, he stared off toward the far end of the garden. There was nothing there but flowers and grass, yet his eyes burned intensely, as if he were seeing something only he could.
“I wanted to recreate it as closely as possible to how you remembered it. What do you think? Did I do a good job?”
His words broke the silence. Just as I had thought, this place was his attempt at replicating District 5. That small, hidden garden in the forest—where our memories lay.
I wondered what had gone through his mind while building this place. Had he missed District 5 that much? No, if he had, he wouldn’t have done what he did. Shaking my head, I dismissed the unnecessary thoughts.
“No matter how much it looks like it… it’s still fake.”
“You’re right. No matter how similar, in the end, it’s still just a fake.”
He admitted it so easily, then shifted to face me. The moment I saw his full face, I froze. A dark bruise covered one side of his cheek.
“Your face—”
“Ah…”
He belatedly raised his hand to cover it, but I was faster. Before he left earlier, he had been perfectly fine—so where the hell did he get a bruise that bad?
‘He’s not the type to just get beaten up.’
As much as I hated to admit it, he was strong. If anything, he was the one who usually did the beating. Whoever had managed to do this to him… might not even be alive anymore.
I carefully examined the bruise, cautious even in touching it. That’s when I heard a soft chuckle.
Only then did I realize—despite his entire cheek being swollen and bruised, he was smiling. Brightly.
“…Are you worried about me?”
“……”
“Seo-yul hyung worrying about me… I love it.”
A large hand brushed lightly against my cheek. The cold touch jolted me back to my senses, and I shoved him off my lap with force. Thrown aside so suddenly, he looked up at me with an expression full of wounded indignation.
“What kind of person just pushes someone like that?”
“You—you were the one who lay down without permission!”
I clenched my trembling fingers into fists and shouted at him. Our eyes locked in a tense battle, neither willing to back down. But then, his face twisted slightly in pain as he brought his hand to his bruised cheek.
Did he hit it when I pushed him? For a moment, I almost reached out in concern, but I caught myself just in time. Holding myself back, I turned on my heel and walked straight back to my room, leaving him behind.
As soon as I slammed the door shut, I slid down against it. Opening my fists, I could see my fingertips still trembling. My body had moved before I could even think. It was only natural to worry about someone who was injured. That’s all it was—so then, why…
“Who am I to be worrying about him?”
***
Watching Seo-yul’s retreating back, he finally lowered the hand that had been holding his cheek. Bang! The sound of the door slamming shut echoed through the garden. He considered following Seo-yul to his room but decided against it. Right now, leaving him alone seemed like the better option.
Lying back down on the grass, he gazed up at the moon floating high above. As the cold light washed over him, a pleased smile spread across his lips.
‘Seo-yul hyung was worried about me.’
Truthfully, the bruise didn’t even hurt. He had only pretended it did because he liked seeing Seo-yul worry over him. Seo-yul might have snapped out of it and walked away, but for that brief moment, his touch had been as gentle as it used to be.
‘This trick worked before, too…’
When they had first reunited, Seo-yul had tried to push him away at all costs. That’s why he had resorted to self-harm back then—because only when he bled did Seo-yul finally come closer. If it had worked before, it would work again.
Seo-yul had always been weak against those he saw as pitiful. The only reason he had allowed him to stay by his side as a child—the only reason he had ever treated him as someone special—was because, in District 5, there had been no one more miserable than him.
So, all he had to do was become the most pitiful person here, too.
Seo-yul had already wavered over a single bruise. If he came back with something worse, he’d surely go back to treating him the way he used to.
‘Should I get hurt on purpose?’
The thought didn’t particularly appeal to him, but there was nothing he wouldn’t do to bring Seo-yul back to him. Maybe he could break an arm or a leg. Or stab out an eye. Of course, he’d have to make sure it didn’t look intentional.
—Han Se-yul is alive.
It had been quite some time since his aide had delivered that report. He had thought Se-yul was dead, yet the stubborn bastard had somehow survived. All that remained was to tell Seo-yul the truth. But for some reason, he kept holding back. Letting time pass without saying a word.
Seo-yul would be happy if he found out. He would probably even cry with relief. Maybe that’s why he didn’t want to tell him. He didn’t want to see Seo-yul’s face lighting up at the mention of another man’s name.
In Seo-yul’s world, there should only be him.
No District 5, no Han Se-yul, no one else—just an empty world where he was the only one left. Only then would Seo-yul finally see him. Only then would he have Seo-yul completely.
“Seo-yul hyung.”
Covering his cheek with his hand, he inhaled deeply, taking in the faint scent of cocoa still lingering on his skin. Damn. He had thought he was broken beyond repair, yet just the scent of Seo-yul was enough to make his body react.
It wasn’t as intense as when they had been touching, but he could feel the slow, aching tension building inside him. Letting out a deep sigh, he closed his tired eyes.
A breeze carrying the scent of flowers brushed past him.
It was suffocating.
