Epilogue
Daily life with Woo Tae-seon was peaceful but still an awkward companionship. That means that, like now, whenever I unexpectedly encountered him in places I hadn’t anticipated, I would freeze up.
“What about lunch?”
I was on my way back from Professor Park’s research lab. I ran into Woo Tae-seon as he was coming out of the dean’s office. As soon as he spotted me, he approached directly as if it were the most natural thing. His straight, long legs that reduced the gap between us in just a few steps stopped in front of me.
Unlike me, who was hesitantly backing away, he seemed natural, as if he had known in advance that I would be walking this way. So I also slightly broadened my shoulders that had been hunched and slightly lifted my chin while firmly gripping the research materials I was holding.
“Not yet. …What about you?”
“Want to eat together? I have a break until 2 p.m.”
There were still about 30 minutes left until lunchtime, and above all, there was no one waiting for me with their neck stretched out.
‘Professor Park again? Always calling people only at mealtimes is a sickness, a real sickness.’
‘Then we’ll go ahead. Work hard, teacher. When you’re done, take your time eating and come back. Don’t eat hastily, even if you’re a bit late.’
My plan to make do with a sandwich was quietly withdrawing. Well, proper food would be better than an egg sandwich from the humanities building cafeteria… While closing my eyes to the stealthily emerging feelings, I gently nodded.
Woo Tae-seon slightly jerked his chin, pointing at my chest.
“Will you carry that for me?”
Only then did I realize he had been waiting for me acquiescently. Feeling unnecessarily embarrassed, I avoided his gaze.
“No, I’ll stop by the department office…”
“Then let’s go right away. We’ll be taking the car anyway.”
Fortunately, without catching onto my half-formed excuse, he took the first step, and I followed a little behind him.
Since he had said he had a break and not that he had finished his last lecture, I thought we would probably eat somewhere near the school. But Woo Tae-seon’s car, which departed from the underground parking lot, had been driving for quite a while after passing the school gate.
“…”
“…”
And very quietly at that.
It seemed like even the faintest breath could be heard. For some spiteful reason, with neither radio nor music playing, the car was filled with terrible silence.
Perhaps I wouldn’t have been able to properly hear the music even if it had been playing, I thought. The sound of my heart fluttering was so loud it felt like it would burst through my ears.
As the smoothly driving vehicle gradually stopped at the stop line, even the engine sound that had been faintly audible disappeared. Following Woo Tae-seon, who was watching the road ahead, I also looked straight ahead while just rolling my eyes slightly. The straight, neat fingers extending from his firm forearm under his slightly rolled-up shirt tapped the steering wheel like a pendulum.
I was still not accustomed to the peaceful silence with him. I couldn’t tell whether the subtle tension that spread when I was with Woo Tae-seon was sprouting from familiarity or from something newly mixed in. But what was certain was that when my heart beat rapidly for no reason, it didn’t feel bad.
“I can hear it all.”
“W-what? What?”
I looked at the passenger seat in shock. Woo Tae-seon, who had been staring at my face at some point, slightly shrugged his shoulders and pretended not to know.
What had he heard when I hadn’t said anything? While knowing it didn’t make sense, I felt concerned, perhaps because what I was thinking at that moment had struck a nerve. No, it’s probably just a meaningless joke. Pretending to look out the passenger window, I secretly glanced at Woo Tae-seon’s profile reflected in the glass.
The car moved as the red light disappeared from the brake lights of the car in front. Only a faint laugh remained in the car that had regained its tranquility.
Entering a quiet street, only when the car stopped in the parking lot of a building with a modern design prominent from its exterior did I think that there must have already been a reservation.
And why even ask? Since he hadn’t made a reservation call on the way, he must have asked with everything already prepared, but as if suggesting I could choose without burden. The memory of Woo Tae-seon’s face casually asking like that made me laugh wryly.
Of course, such an audacious Woo Tae-seon was no longer that surprising.
I sat across from Woo Tae-seon with a table large enough for ten people to comfortably sit around between us. It was a high-end Korean restaurant where it seemed every small detail of the interior might contain some sensory intention.
“How is it? Does it suit your taste?”
Despite the neatly presented traditional Korean meal on a clean plate displaying five colors that stimulated my appetite, my hands didn’t reach out as much as my heart wanted.
“Yes, it’s fine. Delicious.”
It was because of the gaze watching my awkwardly clattering chopsticks. Woo Tae-seon hadn’t even picked up his utensils and was looking at me with his chin propped on his hand.
Is he telling me to eat more? Or should I encourage him to eat too? While anxiously tormenting the innocent sea bass, a low murmuring voice tickled my ear.
“It’s nice to see you eating well.”
Only then did I hear the clattering sound of utensils being picked up from across the table.
True to the manager’s words about helping us dine without disturbance, there wasn’t even the faintest noise that might be heard through door cracks or from beyond walls. Here, it was just Woo Tae-seon and me, only us two.
Even though I no longer had to be mindful of him, I shrank my body as if hiding my face in the awkward peace. It was because I was still not adapted to the extremely gentle Woo Tae-seon.
It was around the time when the meal was almost finished. As if remembering something, Woo Tae-seon raised his head.
“Ah. I think I’ll have to go home alone later.”
“Then…”
I swallowed the single syllable “you?” It wasn’t as if we had promised to return together every day, so, well, it could happen. So I just nodded. Alright.
“The MT departure got moved to this evening.”
“…Oh, not tomorrow?”
His neatly extended eyebrows trembled and furrowed at my thoughtlessly blurted question. Even as he clearly showed his displeasure, the leisurely composure having disappeared, I thought to myself how truly handsome his good-looking face was.
“…Yes. Today.”
Actually, Woo Tae-seon had seemed quite unhappy for several days. This became more apparent as the weekend approached with the entire education department’s MT scheduled. Moreover, since Woo Tae-seon was the center of everyone’s attention, it would probably be impossible for him to sneak away unnoticed.
“Once you’re actually there, it might be fun.”
“That’s not likely.”
Of course, such feeble consolation wouldn’t work. Since I too had always avoided department gatherings while being mindful of others’ reactions, it was no easy task to come up with suitable advantages. Still, I was in the midst of racking my brain.
Something touched my toes under the table. No, it slowly stroked from my toes, over the top of my foot, and up to my calf.
When I looked up in surprise, I was caught by the persistent gaze that had been staring at me intently for who knows how long. Woo Tae-seon with a mischievous face nodded slightly under the table.
“I find playing with senior more fun.”
Woo Tae-seon sometimes called me “senior.” His excuse was that we were from the same school, but no matter how you looked at it, the more fitting reason seemed to be that he simply wanted to call me that way.
Some days he’d call me senior, other days teacher, and occasionally he’d even impudently call me by name.
‘Jae-yun, how is it? Feel good?’
‘Hnngh! D-don’t. Don’t do thaaat.’
‘Whyyy. You like it when I call your name. You like it but you’re acting like this? While sucking me down there? Ah, is it because it feels too good?’
‘Nngh, mhmm, ahhng!’
‘But you know, you get more excited every time I talk down to you? Phew, see this? You’re clenching again while saying no.’
But that only happened in bed. So it was a bit awkward to bring it up. It was absolutely, absolutely not because I liked it as Woo Tae-seon claimed, but just because the timing to mention it was a bit ambiguous. Yes, that was all.
“So, so you’re coming back Sunday? Be careful on your trip.”
I abruptly stood up and hung the cardigan I had removed on my arm. Woo Tae-seon followed me out of the private room, laughing lightly as if it had been a joke.
Because of the sensation that had briefly but quite deeply entered between my legs, I had to pull down the hem of my shirt a little more. My face felt like it would explode.
That weekend, which I faced alone after a long time, I went to the mart. It was because I could no longer ignore the empty refrigerator that laid a burden of guilt on me every time I opened it, feeling like I really needed to fill it with something.
Of course, that’s how it started, but somehow I was rapidly hit with regret, thinking maybe it wasn’t such a good idea after all.
“…What should I do.”
Although the parking lines were drawn quite generously compared to standard, I got out of the car with the intuition that I had parked it neatly, right in the center without leaning in any direction.
But before my satisfied lips could even twitch into a smile, I had already discovered the sleek, long scratch cleanly drawn on what should have been a smooth car door. That was the cause of this situation.
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
