Actually, it wasn’t just the classes. Since the vacation started, Woo Tae-seon and I ended up meeting almost every day. As my work hours had been shortened, the time I had to go to Woo Tae-seon’s house had been moved up, and the excuses I could make had diminished.
It happened yesterday too. Because I couldn’t think of a good reason to escape, I had to stay with him until the early hours of the morning.
‘I can’t take any more! Hnnngh… I can’t do any more…’
My last memory was collapsing on the bed without the strength to even move a finger, seeing four white digits blinking steadily in a sans-serif font: 04:56.
I blinked several times, but my mind was still foggy. Part of it was because I had used up all my energy writhing in agony all night, but the fact that I had come to work with less than three hours of sleep was also a major factor.
I kept rubbing my blurry eyes as I climbed the stairs. Standing in front of the classroom door, I pressed my tight chest firmly, but of course, it had no effect. I tried punching it a few times, but that didn’t help either.
I opened the front door with a long sigh like ashes that remained after burning all the tightness in my chest.
“Everyone, take your seats.”
If there was a silver lining, it was that Woo Tae-seon didn’t always make things difficult for me. Except for that class time when it felt like we were alone despite being four people, he greeted me wearing a mask of normalcy. That meant in supplementary classes like this one, where many students were present, he quietly attended like any ordinary student.
“We’ll start from problem 146, page 67.”
Of course, even so, I couldn’t completely let my guard down. You never knew when a spark might ignite the long wick of his capriciousness.
Even if Woo Tae-seon didn’t do anything, just being in the same space with him drained a tremendous amount of energy from me. Despite there being no difference from my other classes, I always felt particularly exhausted after finishing this one.
Especially on days like today, following a physically draining night, I occasionally had to lean against the wall for support while returning to the teachers’ office. So, thinking it would be best to finish the class quickly today, I opened the textbook.
“So, if we substitute 4 for x, it should work, right?”
Today’s class also proceeded smoothly. Standing slightly askew while supporting myself on the desk with both hands, I recited the problems and their solutions a bit faster than usual, like a machine.
The classroom grew even quieter as I moved from one problem to the next without pause. Perhaps that’s why I could hear the small whispers more clearly amidst the sound of pencils scratching on paper.
When I looked up slightly while still facing the podium, I saw two heads popping up from behind two books propped up obliquely.
The laughter that almost escaped was cut short when I saw the face resting on his chin, gazing out the window beyond them.
The air conditioner’s vanes moved slowly. Woo Tae-seon’s neat forehead appeared and disappeared fleetingly through his gently swaying light-colored bangs. I felt a refreshing sensation as if a summer breeze had blown in from outside the window rather than the artificially created cold air.
While the scene itself, stripped of emotion, might have appeared that way, even as I looked at what resembled a masterpiece painting, I was overwhelmed by simmering emotions rather than pure admiration.
Woo Tae-seon remained motionless as if carved into a plaster statue. In his languidly downcast eyes, I saw the gaze that had looked down at me indifferently the night before. It was like observing from a different angle the eyes that had shone in the dark bedroom.
‘Hnngh, now, haah, please stop…’
‘Don’t you remember what I told you earlier about not coming? Don’t you remember?’
‘Tae, Tae-seon, hic, please, hnng…’
‘Why is our teacher not listening today?’
As always, yesterday’s pretext was trivial. He had told me to hold my dick tightly and not leak, but I couldn’t hold back. That was the reason. But expecting me not to release anything while he was thrusting so violently was almost unreasonable. Especially since by then, I had already been tormented by Woo Tae-seon for hours, so it was only natural.
Of course, Woo Tae-seon must have known this fact perfectly well. Because after blaming me, his previously rigid mouth corners had lifted slightly.
‘Tae-seon, please stop. Hic, I was wrong. I won’t, haah, do it again.’
Before that, there was also the reason that I had quietly gone home while he was asleep.
‘Why, why are you doing this? Hnngh! Ah, ahh! Tell, tell me, haahh…’
And there was a time when he threw a tantrum just because I arrived at his house at 5:13. Only when I was about to lose consciousness did I learn why Woo Tae-seon had thrown a tantrum that day.
So Woo Tae-seon always found excuses from places I never expected and tormented me.
At his place, I needed permission even to breathe, but not now. Even knowing that this was an artificially ignited and cultivated excess, a rebellious spirit that had been hiding deep inside began to creep up.
I unnecessarily took out chalk and quickly wrote on the blackboard what I had been reading aloud. Then I tapped the chalk on the board hard enough to make a clear sound. Perhaps I gained some confidence from the students filling the classroom, apart from Woo Tae-seon and me.
“Jin-ho, Sang-chul. Stop talking and concentrate.”
“Yes, sir.”
“Who looks at a math book like that?”
With an embarrassed laugh, the math book that had been at almost a 90-degree angle was immediately lowered. I pretended not to notice the awkward attempt to hold a mechanical pencil.
And…
After making my decision, my heart beat slightly faster, but this time it wasn’t anxiety but a pleasant tempo.
“Tae-seon, you should look forward too.”
Woo Tae-seon, who had been looking out the window, slowly turned his gaze to me. I unconsciously gulped.
“…Yes.”
But Woo Tae-seon obediently lowered his head. He looked as if this much didn’t matter to him. He continued writing something for a long time without raising his head. Even slightly biting his lip, his habit when concentrating.
Only then did a small joy spread from the depths where rebelliousness had spread. It was even a bit thrilling. You might have been able to spank me last night, but now I’m the teacher who can discipline you. That fact seemed to give me pleasure.
* * *
As summer approached, the hot weather became increasingly oppressive. When I was in the teachers’ office, I didn’t want to leave, and when I was in the classroom, I didn’t want to leave either. Perhaps because of this, more than half of the students who used to make the corridors noisy during breaks, even as exam students, had diminished.
As always, people said this summer was the hottest, but today felt like the hottest day among them all. It wasn’t just because the news I had turned on while preparing for work advised against going outside today.
During the class period of less than an hour, I had to suppress the urge to tug at the front of my shirt several times without realizing it.
I wanted to flap the front of my shirt to release the hot air trapped inside, and I wanted to peel off the shirt that stuck increasingly as beads of sweat began to form and run down my spine.
I could feel my cheeks flushing red even without looking in a mirror. I tried pressing both cheeks firmly with the back of my hand as if to stamp out the burning heat, but it didn’t help much. In the end, I had to cool my flushed face with a makeshift fan made of printed paper.
Still, I was one of the few sitting with a straight back.
“Sir, can we stop the lesson? It’s too hot.”
“No, let’s focus.”
Everyone was drooping like limp taffy because the classroom’s air conditioner was broken. The fortunate thing was that this was the last period; the unfortunate thing was that only the classroom I entered was acting up.
Even the light jeering that followed my firm refusal lacked energy today. Despite having all the lids of the steam pot wide open, no wind came into the classroom, and little heat escaped.
Was it because it was the time when the sun was most intense, seeming almost to make a sizzling sound? The intense sunlight seemed to have dried up even the wind.
Faces exhaling hot breaths twisted into frowns, but there was nothing to be done. There were still more than 20 minutes of class left.
My words became longer than usual. It was partly because I had to coax each student who had collapsed on their desks using summer vacation as an excuse, but also because I was rambling due to my own lack of focus.
The bottled water I had bought from the vending machine on the way to the classroom had already been emptied long ago. A cool water dispenser danced before my eyes. Should I quickly go get some? No. If I left my spot even for a moment, everyone would definitely close their books, put their heads down, and start a protest. I shook my head.
Having decided to endure, it felt like my mouth was getting even drier. Even temporarily moistening my dry lips by licking them with my tongue couldn’t provide a fundamental solution. This made me more thirsty.
“Teacher.”
The classroom, which had not quieted despite my repeated attempts to calm it, suddenly became silent as if cold water had been poured. I slowly moved my trembling eyes toward Woo Tae-seon, who was slightly raising one hand.
“May I go to the bathroom?”
It was slightly different from his usual neat appearance of always buttoning his shirt all the way up. My eyes were drawn to the last undone button, as if a single thread had popped out.
Compared to the other boys who had thrown off their shirts long ago saying it didn’t matter among guys, it was a modest appearance, but somehow I felt like I had discovered a weakness in him, and the tension that had been tightly wound seemed to loosen a bit.
When I nodded, he also gave a slight nod and then I watched Woo Tae-seon slip out through the back door. I thought: even someone who looks like they wouldn’t flinch if pricked with a needle is human after all.
A little time passed, and with a small knock, the front door opened. I was startled that Woo Tae-seon returned through the front door, not the back. Any situation involving Woo Tae-seon that differed from the usual made me rigid.
But Woo Tae-seon, who walked briskly toward me while I stood frozen, placed a cold-looking water bottle on the desk and returned to his seat.
Two water bottles with the same label. Although it was what I had so desperately wanted, I barely managed to swallow one sip down my throat. The coldness quickly dispersed through my hot throat. Wiping the water remaining on my lips with the back of my hand, I glanced at the seat I had been concerned about, but it was only my one-sided gaze. Only then could I finally feel at ease.
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
