“If all the Awakened are wiped out at once, how will we fight the creatures? How will we handle the gates? To compensate for the lack of manpower, the remaining ones will inevitably have to shoulder the burden, won’t they?”
Young Awakened who were still mere trainees might be thrown into the front lines. Ordinary civilians, no longer protected, would be plunged into utter chaos. Humanity… its future…
Even knowing the inevitable outcome, Seo Eui-woo couldn’t bring himself to agree.
“Then, what about you, Jae-jin? What happens to you?”
“What do you mean? You promised to keep me hidden and protected, didn’t you?”
“No. I mean, how do you endure this?”
Seo Eui-woo lowered his throbbing eyes. He hadn’t blinked once since earlier, leaving his eyes dry. Even the blood vessels in his eyeballs were standing on edge.
“I already feel so frustrated and resentful… How do you put up with it, Jae-jin?”
“……”
“They say you have to die just because you’re a mutant. Everyone’s out to kill you. How do you… how do you bear it? Before you returned…? You endured this for four whole years? How did you survive without going insane? If you were exposed, were you just planning to die? Is that why, whenever you had the chance, you tried to throw your life away so easily?”
How did he endure it…?
How did he live through it…?
His lips slowly closed. Kwon Jae-jin, at a loss for words, pressed his tongue against the roof of his mouth.
Seo Eui-woo’s clear, youthful face came into sharper focus. From the depths of desperation, Seo Eui-woo was trying to understand him.
But Kwon Jae-jin couldn’t give him an answer he would understand.
“Well… back then…”
Yeah.
How had he endured it? How had he survived?
“Because… you kept me alive.”
He had wanted to die, but Seo Eui-woo had stubbornly kept him alive. Acting as if the world would end without Kwon Jae-jin. And in reality, it would have. By any means necessary—committing crimes, erasing memories, tying him down, clinging to him, crying, begging, pestering him to be together, crashing into him over and over again with his body, with his emotions…
That extraordinary, unparalleled, and overwhelmingly powerful Seo Eui-woo—the hero revered by all—had, from beginning to end, wanted only Kwon Jae-jin.
That’s how it happened. Somehow, before he knew it…
That’s how he ended up broken.
To be honest, Kwon Jae-jin still didn’t fully understand it himself.
Maybe he had only vaguely realized that people don’t actually need something grand to keep on living.
He had been kidnapped in an instant, forced to take some bastard’s cock, trapped inside with a lunatic who didn’t even speak the same fucking language, while armed Awakened patrolled outside. And yet… despite all that… sometimes, things still caught his eye.
The crumpled bedsheets. The bright glow of a lit lamp. The foamy white spray of blue waves crashing against the shore. The rain streaking down the window.
Those things piled up.
The weight of a real gun in his hand. The way the air smelled subtly different with each passing season. The time he’d tried to make homemade food, only to burn the rolled omelet so badly it was god awful. The time he’d forced himself to do push-ups every day, even knowing he’d never be able to beat Seo Eui-woo. The time he managed to do two more push-ups than the day before. The moment when an ordinary kitchen knife somehow became his kitchen knife. The rare, satisfying mornings when he woke up feeling truly rested.
…Seo Eui-woo’s ear, when brushed against, was surprisingly soft. His round curls were softer than expected. His smile was cute. His tears were suffocating. His face lingered in Kwon Jae-jin’s mind. His gaze refused to be forgotten.
Little things. One by one. Stacking up.
Could this be a reason?
Could this explain it?
He wasn’t sure. Even now.
But somehow, Kwon Jae-jin felt like he could live this way.
And Seo Eui-woo always had a way of making him feel like that.
This was the same Seo Eui-woo who was willing to kill every Awakened he had fought alongside for twenty years—just because he wanted to date Kwon Jae-jin.
How was Kwon Jae-jin supposed to do anything about that?
How could he possibly win against that? He couldn’t.
Seo Eui-woo was always a step ahead of him.
He made Jae-jin’s chest tighten. Made his soul tremble.
How could anyone’s heart not move when faced with someone who shook them to their core like this?
Right?
Could anyone truly resist?
That’s why Kwon Jae-jin wanted to try living properly now. He didn’t want to take a wrong step again.
“…Seo Eui-woo, you saved me. You made sure I could endure, no matter what. So now… I’m fine.”
“Fine? You’re really… fine?”
“Well. More or less.”
“I used to think this was fine too… living like this.”
“You did?”
“If I could just keep you hidden, I thought there wouldn’t be any problems. As long as you weren’t discovered, that would be enough. I mean… my whole life is already full of lies. I figured adding one more secret wouldn’t make a difference.”
Seo Eui-woo ran the soft side of his palm down Kwon Jae-jin’s lower back. His touch held the feeling of someone who cherished every fleeting second spent together, unwilling to let even a single moment slip away.
“I was confident we wouldn’t get caught. Honestly, I even thought it would be easy. It used to be manageable. Everything was fine before. But today… how should I even describe this?”
“……”
“I feel disgusted.”
“……”
“Yeah. Disgusted. That’s exactly it.”
He pulled Jae-jin tightly against him, hooking an arm under his armpit and hauling him onto his body. With Jae-jin’s full weight pressed against him, their chests were flush together.
Only Seo Eui-woo could feel the resonance of the core, something Kwon Jae-jin himself couldn’t sense.
“I fucking hate this. Living like this.”
When he was ordered to retrieve Kwon Jae-jin’s corpse, he had no choice but to agree. He had to slaughter every creature the search unit found, even knowing they were only hunting for Jae-jin. And he would have to keep doing it. Again and again.
“Even if you say you’re fine, I’m not.”
On top of that, Seo Eui-woo had an inherent power. A force capable of crushing everything, if he wanted to. Before, he hadn’t been able to wield it properly. But now, he could. The more time he spent with Kwon Jae-jin, the more guidance he received, the stronger and freer he became.
“What am I supposed to do?”
Could he hold back? Could he endure this?
“Jae-jin, what am I supposed to do?”
Could he really stand by and do nothing?
He wanted Kwon Jae-jin. Wanted him so badly it drove him insane. He wanted everything—Jae-jin’s body, his heart, his past, his future. He wanted his entire existence. He wanted to have it all and cherish it, as if they were the only two people in the world. As if nothing else mattered.
And if he could just protect Kwon Jae-jin, nothing else did matter.
No matter how this world crumbled, no matter how brutal and wretched it became—Seo Eui-woo wouldn’t care. He wouldn’t even see it.
Everything was rotten, repulsive, and he wanted to tear it all apart. He wanted to rip it to shreds.
He just wanted to kill them all.
“…Should we just run away?”
The words slipped from Seo Eui-woo’s lips like a sudden realization. His voice was calm, almost casual, but the meaning behind it was nothing short of earth-shattering.
“Let’s run. I don’t want to be an Awakened anymore. I don’t want to be part of this.”
Kwon Jae-jin’s eyes snapped open.
Run away?
Seo Eui-woo—Seo Eui-woo—was saying this?
“What if we just leave everything behind? Go far away. Hm?”
“Where… Where would we even go…?”
“Anywhere. It doesn’t matter. Even the Sixth Residential District would be fine. The place where you used to live… I want to see it.”
“…What?”
“I want to know how you lived. And you wanted to know too, didn’t you? About your family.”
Seo Eui-woo swept in like a raging storm. Every word he spoke sent Kwon Jae-jin’s head spinning.
Again.
Again, that feeling of having his very soul shaken to its core.
“You asked me to help you get it back. Your childhood, Kwon Jae-jin. I might not be able to restore the memories lost in that hole in your mind, but if we go to the Sixth Residential District, maybe we can find something. Maybe we can learn something.”
“Wait… Seo Eui-woo, wait a second.”
“It doesn’t matter where we hide. Whether it’s here or somewhere else, we’ll still be in hiding. So let’s just go. Just the two of us. No one else has to know. And let’s really date, properly.”
“Ah…”
“You said that’s what you wanted, didn’t you? A normal relationship, like ordinary people have. Then let’s really live among them. Disappear into the crowd. Be just another couple. Let’s do that. Can’t we? If I ask you to do this… does it mean you want to leave me?”
“No… It’s just too sudden. Give me a second. Just—just wait.”
Jae-jin grabbed Seo Eui-woo’s wrist. But he couldn’t keep up with him.
Even after returning, even after starting a whole new life with a four-year head start, even after standing at a different starting line—somehow, all that advantage had vanished without a trace.
And now, Seo Eui-woo had effortlessly surpassed him again, taking hold of Jae-jin’s life and dragging it in a new direction.
This feeling was… truly…
Every time it happened, every time he found himself caught off guard like this—
It was impossible not to be drawn in.
