“My Jae-jin. Kwon Jae-jin, my… Even I hold back because I’m afraid I might do something wrong. But Jae-jin, you told me to wait… I was scared that if I acted rashly again, you’d resent me. Do you have any idea how much I held myself back…?”
Afraid you’d call it greed, obsession, childishness.
“I was really, really being careful! Until you could love me again without worry. Until our relationship could go back to the way it was, until you could trust me again… Sometimes, I was even careful just looking at you. And of course, I was careful when I touched you.”
“……”
“I was scared that I’d unknowingly hurt you again, that I’d end up tearing you apart without realizing it. So I endured everything that seemed even a little too much. But then—some fucking bastard… Some bastard who doesn’t even know how to cherish you just went around touching you however they pleased, and you expect me not to lose my mind?”
Seo Eui-woo’s smile, which had been lingering at the corner of his lips, faded slightly, as if he could no longer suppress the overwhelming emotions surging within him. With that smile gone, all that was left on his face was a terrible mix of fury and distress.
“I don’t want to ruin things with you, Jae-jin. I’m not mad at you. It’s just that today was… I just…”
His emotions swung violently.
The torment in his heart, the way he was utterly shaken—it was so painfully obvious that there was no need to even try to notice.
“…Eui-woo.”
With a sigh, Jae-jin called his name and wrapped his arms around Eui-woo’s neck.
He pulled that wretched face toward him and pressed their lips together.
He couldn’t bear listening to him anymore. It hurt. It was suffocating. He just… hated everything about this moment.
So he silenced Eui-woo’s lips with a kiss, then pulled away and gazed at him. There was no avoiding it now—Jae-jin had no choice but to be honest.
“Earlier today,” he began. “When I was exposed as a mutant, I thought I had to die, no matter what.”
“…What?”
“If I got caught like that, I’d die, and you wouldn’t be able to escape punishment either… So I figured it would be better if I just died alone. That’s what I decided. I really did try to kill myself.”
“……”
“Five creatures were on my heels. In front of me was a sheer cliff, and behind me was a pack of wolf-type creatures, swarming everywhere. Do you know what went through my mind at that moment?”
In the steaming hot water, their gazes locked, fierce and unwavering.
“All I felt… was regret.”
Both in my first life. And in my second. All I ever felt was regret.
There wouldn’t be a third chance. That thought hit me hard.
“To think… that all I ever did was push you away like that, Seo Eui-woo. That it would all end like this. That I would just die here. How could I not regret it?”
Honestly, this whole situation was an inescapable maze.
Just like Eui-woo said, they were in enemy territory. As long as Kwon Jae-jin was born a mutant, danger would always be lurking around him.
On top of that, no one could predict when another gate would suddenly open or when creatures would come bursting out. That meant there would never be a day when Seo Eui-woo could truly feel at ease.
The same went for Jae-jin. He wanted to feel safe now, to let himself breathe. But he knew he couldn’t afford that luxury.
He had to live on edge at all times. He had to get used to the feeling of being constantly on guard.
And in the midst of all this, if he and Eui-woo were each stuck in their own heads, each drowning in their own thoughts and emotions, what could they possibly accomplish?
They needed to understand each other. To move forward together.
“The last time… when I found out that all my childhood memories had been completely wiped out… You know as well as I do, Seo Eui-woo. I lost all sense of direction. The shock was overwhelming, I felt betrayed, and I had no way of fixing it. I was devastated, utterly hopeless. Even when I knew it was dangerous, I acted recklessly, I tried to use guiding as a threat… I admit, I lost control. But that’s just how confused and messed up I was inside.”
“…Yeah. I know. You were struggling.”
“It didn’t feel like me anymore. I couldn’t even feel comfortable around you, and I had no idea what to do. To be honest, even now, I still carry some of that resentment. Just thinking about the giant hole in my head, filled with things I’ll never remember… it pisses me off.”
“Yeah… I get that too.”
“But even so, I believe that in the end, it will just be the two of us. Like you said, like you wanted, I’ll trust you, and you’ll trust me. We’ll give each other everything. Like we’re the only two people in the world…”
Jae-jin kissed Eui-woo again.
Earlier, when Jae-jin had kissed him, Eui-woo had been frozen, stiff as ice. But this time, he parted his lips slightly and responded. His breath came out in a slow, languid sigh as he moved his tongue against Jae-jin’s for a moment before pulling away.
“I think… no, more than that… Seo Eui-woo, I think I…”
Jae-jin didn’t stop. He kissed him again and again, relentless. This time, Eui-woo kissed back even more eagerly. He sucked on Jae-jin’s tongue, teasing the tip, then bit down gently on his lower lip, letting a wet sound escape between them.
With their lips still pressed together, Jae-jin murmured against him,
“I think… I really like you.”
He gasped softly, exhaling a shallow breath.
Eui-woo panted harder, gripping Jae-jin’s body tightly. His arms locked around Jae-jin’s waist, holding him with so much force it was as if he was trying to crush him, keeping him completely caged within his embrace. He pressed Jae-jin’s body firmly against his own, making sure there was no space left between them.
“Ha… Is that so…?”
His voice trembled with breathless excitement, with raw, overwhelming joy spilling out uncontrollably.
Eui-woo, utterly dazed, muttered on.
“Tell me… What do you like about me, Jae-jin? Hm?”
“T-That…”
“Tell me. Come on? And don’t say my face or my body. I’ve already heard that.”
“Seo Eui-woo…”
Jae-jin lowered his gaze for a moment, his lips twitching slightly before he finally managed to answer.
“You… You seem like someone who will never change. Not until the day you die.”
“……”
“That consistency… That’s what I like about you.”
No matter what happened in the future, Eui-woo would still be Eui-woo.
Blindly, desperately, he would always want only Jae-jin.
Jae-jin knew this more deeply, more painfully, than anyone.
He never believed in things like absolute permanence or eternal, unchanging love. And yet, when it came to Seo Eui-woo… he couldn’t help but wonder, just maybe… if it was him, then perhaps… That expectation was bearable.
Even if the world became even more wretched than it already was, even if it was swallowed by plagues and war, even if centuries passed and the very mountains and seas transformed beyond recognition—he knew that Seo Eui-woo would always remain exactly as he was.
“…Haha.”
A quiet laugh, light and pleased, slipped past Eui-woo’s lips, sinking into Jae-jin’s ears.
Instinctively, Jae-jin lifted his gaze.
Eui-woo’s face was right there, so close.
His eyes curved in a gentle smile, his delicate, boyish beauty flushed with a soft pink.
Just moments ago, those gray eyes had been eerily cold, sharp enough to send shivers down one’s spine. But now, they were melted with warmth, gazing at Jae-jin as if nothing else in the world existed.
“All this time… I thought you didn’t know a damn thing about me and were just pretending like you did. But I was wrong. You know me really well, Jae-jin.”
The bloodthirsty Seo Eui-woo, the one who had wanted to hunt down Major Mateo and burn the hands that had touched Jae-jin, to tear him to shreds and kill him—he was gone.
All because of a single sentence.
Just a single sentence from Jae-jin…
“I won’t change. Even if I wanted to, I don’t think I ever could.”
“……”
“I’ll always be the same… Always, only for you, Jae-jin. Mm, that’s just how I am…”
At that moment, something inside Jae-jin lurched, as if the ground beneath him had suddenly dropped away.
That expression on Eui-woo’s face—so utterly enraptured, flushed like a ripened peach, gentle like a loyal, oversized dog, and yet unmistakably that of a young man lost in his first love—sent a sharp jolt up Jae-jin’s spine.
It was as if, out of nowhere, a vast canyon had appeared before his eyes.
The very same precipice he had once charged toward, surrounded by countless green-eyed wolves glowing like ghostly flames in the darkness. The sheer cliff where nine streams converged and where a seven-colored rainbow had arched in twin bands across the sky.
His first life had ended in regret.
And his second…
His second life…
Wasn’t over yet.
Kwon Jae-jin, warm and pliant, lifted his damp body and pressed even closer to Seo Eui-woo. He pushed him against the edge of the bathtub, covering him completely, as if surrendering his entire weight to him.
“Seo Eui-woo.”
The two, already close, melded together with no space left between them.
Like a single entity. As if they had always been one.
As if they would stay like this forever, never parting.
“…Should we just date?”
The words slipped from Jae-jin’s lips before he even had time to think.
As if there was no need to deliberate. As if his instincts had already given him the answer. The words simply tumbled out, unfiltered.
“…What?”
For a brief moment, Eui-woo’s gray eyes widened in stunned disbelief. Then, a light of overwhelming joy flooded his gaze, bright as if a soft, radiant glow was scattering around him.
But soon, that exhilaration slowly faded from his face.
