“…”
“I know it wasn’t intentional, so it’s okay.”
Like hell it’s okay. Since there’s no gun that could be fired with just the twitch of a finger, if any strange signs appear, he plans to throw a punch with all his might. Such a shock would surely bring him back to his senses.
Jae-young overlapped his lips with Sa Gong-hyun’s again. This time it was a rather deep kiss. A hand that had traveled up his buttocks and spine now wrapped around the nape of his neck.
Straddling Sa Gong-hyun’s waist with his knees, Jae-young began to earnestly intertwine his tongue with him. Their sealed lips became a passage through which their breaths exchanged.
After sharing breaths for quite some time, their lips parted to regulate their breathing. With his eyes slightly open, Jae-young looked down at the lips glistening with his saliva.
“…I love you.”
He revealed his false heart. He didn’t feel any pangs of conscience. That was Jae-young’s job after all.
However, he admits that unlike other times, confessing a lie felt uncomfortable. But Jae-young thought it was the uneasiness that came from the fact that the recipient of his confession was a man.
He rolled his eyes upward and met Sa Gong-hyun’s gaze. Without a word of response, Sa Gong-hyun explored Jae-young’s lips.
Their positions were reversed in an instant. When Jae-young came to his senses, Sa Gong-hyun was dominating over him. He was pressed down randomly without even a chance to soothe his quickened breath.
As if that wasn’t enough, his lower abdomen quickly became stiff. Jae-young mentally clicked his tongue. He hadn’t known his sexual desire was this intense. It was a fact he was learning for the first time in 27 years.
***
In the end, they mixed their bodies once more in that spot. His body, loaded with fatigue, felt heavy. He was tired, but not to the point of fainting. If only he had fainted, he would have fallen asleep without knowing how uncomfortable it was.
Jae-young rubbed his eyes that were on the verge of falling asleep. It was already time for dawn. Sa Gong-hyun had his eyes closed. His straight eyelashes were neatly arranged.
Is he sleeping? Jae-young raised his hand and tidied Sa Gong-hyun’s hair. Rather than being filled with affection, he truly had no special thoughts. He just had a strong desire to arrange it.
As he was carefully caressing his hair, the quietly closed eyelids slowly lifted. For someone who had just woken up, his gaze was quite expressionless.
“Did you sleep a bit?”
Jae-young asked in a whisper. Sa Gong-hyun just stared blankly at Jae-young’s face. Jae-young withdrew his hand that had been hovering over Sa Gong-hyun’s head.
“I didn’t wake you, did I?”
There was no answer to his second question either. Jae-young slightly closed his eyelids, which felt as heavy as a thousand pounds. Setting aside the discomfort, he was really too tired.
If he had expended a little less energy, he wouldn’t have been this tired. Since his own body had also wanted it, he couldn’t entirely blame Sa Gong-hyun.
When he forced his eyes open, the handsome face filled his vision.
“Hyun-ssi looks handsome even when waking up from sleep.”
Since it wasn’t something particularly worth hiding, his thoughts burst out without going through any filter. Thinking about it, Sa Gong-hyun’s arbitrary behavior was all because of his handsome face.
“Either sleep or come to your senses, just pick one.”
“Huh…? You’re speaking informally again. What’s your standard?”
The funny thing was that even that ill-mannered temperament was somewhat bearable. It was a significant development. The thought crossed his mind that if only Sa Gong-hyun weren’t a man, he might have truly given his heart. But he quickly dismissed it.
Sa Gong-hyun closed his mouth again, but Jae-young didn’t mind.
“Since when did Hyun-ssi like men?”
“Why are you curious about that?”
He was just suddenly curious. Being gay doesn’t mean one realizes their sexual identity from birth. When did Sa Gong-hyun realize he was gay?
“I just became curious. How you felt when you first realized you liked men.”
“How was it for you?”
“…”
Jae-young momentarily lost his words at the question thrown back at him. How was it? Since he had never experienced such a thing, he couldn’t answer that question.
However, he urged his slowly moving thoughts as if pushing them. Though it would never happen, if I were to admit that I’m gay, what would I think?
The answer wasn’t special.
“…It was confusing. It’s an implicit rule that men should love women.”
“Who decided that?”
“…”
It was an endless counter-questioning. Suddenly, Sa Gong-hyun got up from his place and picked up the shirt that had fallen on the floor. Jae-young just raised his upper body and stared at him.
“Living by other people’s standards is what fools do. Or people with extremely tiresome personalities.”
After inserting his arms into the sleeves and buttoning the cuffs, Sa Gong-hyun turned to look at Jae-young.
“Are you still confused?”
“…No.”
Contrary to his answer, he was confused. It was natural. In an instant, he had become a fool.
Not once had he thought of himself as a fool. Nor had he ever thought that he lived according to the judgments of others.
Rather, he always thought he had avoided those answers. It was deeply confusing that this wasn’t entirely true.
Unaware of Jae-young’s feelings, Sa Gong-hyun pulled up the corners of his mouth lengthily.
“Congratulations. You’ve escaped being a fool.”
It was a smile full of composure.
***
A week passed faster than expected. Sometimes Sa Gong-hyun would visit Jae-young’s place, and sometimes Jae-young would go to his place. They also had trivial dates like sleeping together and having meals together.
The hand marks on his neck had already faded. Only the congestion around them made his skin appear reddish.
Now he no longer felt tense when he was with Sa Gong-hyun. Everything had become a bit more natural. Although sleeping in the same bed with someone else was still uncomfortable.
Jae-young smiled faintly as he scanned Sa Gong-hyun’s watch cabinet. He picked out a leather watch that would suit him.
Turning around, Jae-young put the watch on Sa Gong-hyun’s wrist. The watch, having found a good owner, shone brighter than when it was confined in the cabinet.
After all, the finishing touch to fashion comes from accessories. Of course, the clothes hanger looked perfectly fine even without the help of ornaments.
From the dress shirt to the choice of belt, everything was excellent. It was a satisfying doll play. Jae-young finally arranged Sa Gong-hyun’s collar. Sa Gong-hyun’s hand wrapped around Jae-young’s nape. He felt the touch of a hand caressing the area below his ear.
Now it was time for their lips to meet. As Jae-young gently raised his chin, the two lips immediately locked together.
“Haah…”
The slick tongue skillfully explored every corner of Jae-young’s mouth. Sa Gong-hyun lifted Jae-young up and seated him on the glass surface of the watch cabinet.
Jae-young wrapped his legs around Sa Gong-hyun’s waist as if accustomed to it. The hands inside his t-shirt, the touch caressing his skin—these were now all too familiar.
With his arms around Sa Gong-hyun’s neck, Jae-young raised his right hand and gently stroked the back of his head. Their pressed lips separated. He opened his eyes and witnessed saliva, indistinguishable as to whose it was, stretching like a thread.
“…We’ll be late at this rate.”
“There’s no one to say anything about it.”
“Having a high-ranking boyfriend has its perks. When are you getting off work today?”
“I’ll contact you before sunset. We have somewhere to go.”
“Is it a restaurant again?”
“We’re going to a villa in Gangwon Province. I’m thinking of staying overnight.”
The smile that had filled Jae-young’s face stiffened slightly. But soon he smiled even more brightly.
“Are we going on a trip?”
“I suppose so.”
“I’m excited. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen the sea. Let’s eat lots of delicious food while we’re there.”
His voice was innocent like a child’s, and affectionate. Sa Gong-hyun looked at Jae-young and smiled softly, and Jae-young embraced Sa Gong-hyun’s neck once more.
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
