#71
Good things come for Boy who wait
A nine-year age gap. A girlfriend whose photo he keeps in his wallet, smiling happily whenever he looks at it. Someone he even brags about to his flight attendant colleagues. Saheon hyung’s usual affectionate demeanor, to the point of being called a hopeless romantic.
“The thief lives well. Oh my, oh my.”
“I didn’t think the co-pilot was like that… Did you leave your conscience in the Middle East?”
“Didn’t you know? He left it in Abu Dhabi last time we went.”
Laughter erupted at hyung’s silly joke. Saheon hyung’s voice sounded incredibly unrealistic. I turned my blank gaze to look at the area around hyung’s jawline. Perhaps because my eyes had become hot, hyung’s laughing face also seemed to ripple, lacking reality.
My distorted vision met Saheon hyung’s eyes. I tried to force a smile with my trembling lips, but it was more like a defensive action than a smile.
CHAPTER 07.
Good things come for Boy who wait
: Good things come to boys who wait
The gathering naturally dispersed as a flight attendant’s boyfriend approached. Saheon hyung, who had been smiling with a friendly face and saying “Take care on your way home” to everyone, let out a tired sigh once everyone had left, as if it had never happened.
“Ah, I’m tired.”
The hand that had been around my shoulder fell away. Only an empty feeling remained in its place. I fiddled with the area where hyung’s warmth had lingered for no reason. But as if to interrupt my actions, Saheon hyung took off the hat he was wearing, placed it on top of the carrier handle, and linked his arm with mine as if escorting me.
Normally, I should have been thrilled by such a small, couple-like gesture, but not now. My mind was filled only with the fact that Saheon hyung had a girlfriend.
Suddenly, I felt ashamed for looking for evidence that it might be okay to confess this time. Evidence? It was a wrong premise from the start.
Even as we got into the parked car and I fastened the driver’s seat belt, the confusion continued. I was making assumptions about why hyung had made such a choice.
The Saheon hyung I had known and seen until now wasn’t that kind of person. Although he wasn’t serious about dating, I never thought he would sleep with two people at once. Moreover, if one partner was his girlfriend, what was I to hyung?
Saheon hyung, who got into the passenger seat after putting his carrier in the back seat, looked the same as usual. As I warmed up the cooled car interior with the heater, I cleared my throat unnecessarily to swallow the hot surge of emotion.
“But how did you know which flight I was on? You didn’t wait the whole time, did you?”
“You mentioned it before. That you were going to Atlanta.”
“Did I? Oh, right. Kwon Chaehun is coming this Friday. He kept saying he’d come, and he really is.”
Saheon hyung, vaguely recalling the memory, grumbled Chaehun hyung’s name. I silently adjusted the gear and turned the steering wheel. A minor disappointment that I would have normally overlooked now held me back.
If he didn’t say he was going to Atlanta, who did he confuse me with? Once sprouted, suspicion kept catching only suspicious points. I glanced sideways at Saheon hyung using his phone. Even the act of him contacting someone looked suspicious. Seeing hyung’s uniform, even the group of flight attendants we had talked with earlier seemed suspicious.
Since when did hyung have a girlfriend? I never had the impression that hyung was going to meet someone. Surprisingly, hyung tended to always be at home on his days off.
It seems I wasn’t as perceptive about things related to Saheon hyung as I thought I was. With a gloomy face, I paid the parking fee with the money hyung handed me.
As I rolled up the window, the car interior became warm again. Hyung’s lips suddenly touched my cheek. When I raised my eyebrows and looked at him, Saheon hyung whispered with a mischievous smile.
“I missed you.”
While I was momentarily dazed, a honking sound came from behind. I hastily came to my senses and stepped on the accelerator. Saheon hyung, who had been leaning towards the driver’s seat, straightened up again.
An action that would normally have made me blush now looked like the behavior of a complete playboy once the filter of suspicion was applied. But that didn’t last long. I felt deflated, finding myself ridiculous for being jealous when I was just unrequitedly in love with Saheon hyung and had no real relationship with him.
Suddenly, I became aware of the heat that had gathered around my eyes. I narrowed my eyes and blinked rapidly. I even rubbed the corner of my eyes painfully for no reason, then let out a long sigh. I had thought there might be hope this time, but maybe it was fortunate to be rejected before even speaking.
I knew that if I cried while driving, something irreversible would happen. Perhaps because I managed to endure it, I was able to give at least short answers to Saheon hyung’s chattering on the way home. Even to me, my responses seemed mechanical. There was no way the perceptive Saheon hyung wouldn’t notice.
Saheon hyung gradually became quieter, but I couldn’t bring myself to speak. In the end, only an awkward silence remained between us.
When the apartment came into view in the distance, and we were looking for a parking spot in the underground parking lot, Saheon hyung, who had been quiet for a while, asked:
“Are you really sick? Or did something bad happen?”
It was a question that hit the mark. I dragged out an “Uh” sound, then tried to smile as usual and answered:
“No. I’m just sleepy because I ate too much.”
“I see…”
Saheon hyung’s dubious response showed he didn’t believe me. But I felt relieved that he seemed to let it go and finished parking. After turning off the engine, the walk from the cold outside to our home with Saheon hyung was utterly quiet. It would have been even more silent if not for the rolling sound of the carrier’s wheels.
Saheon hyung, who had left the carrier in the entryway, displayed his bad habit of taking off his clothes and throwing them anywhere. After hanging his hat on the carrier handle, he took off his jacket and put it on the sofa, saying:
“I’m going to wash up. I was going to suggest we eat together, but if you’re full, I’ll just go to sleep.”
“No, let’s eat together.”
When hyung said he would go hungry because of my lie, I hastily denied it, following behind him as he headed to the bedroom. However, hyung just smiled slightly, opened the closet door, and grabbed some comfortable clothes he had put away.
“I’ll wash up first.”
Hyung responded as if making an announcement and went into the bathroom. His brow was clearly a bit furrowed as he headed to the bathroom.
After blankly staring at his back, I buried my face in my hands when I heard the bathroom door close. After rubbing my face dry a few times, I looked at the bathroom attached to hyung’s room through the gaps between my fingers.
Left alone, my overflowing emotions became uncontrollable. I rubbed my eyes, which were getting hot for no reason, but a few tears still came out.
Thanks to my efforts to dry them quickly, the tears disappeared leaving only a slight dampness. I sat on hyung’s bed with a gloomy face. The sound of running water was loud, presumably from the shower being turned on.
I let out a deep sigh that was drowned out by the sound of water. Making a strange groan, I rubbed my face roughly and glared at the bathroom door.
More foolish than being shocked by the fact that Saheon hyung had a girlfriend was that I still liked him too much. Even though I knew I shouldn’t, I still liked hyung.
In the familiar space, a calm analysis took place. This time, I had decided to look for evidence that it would be okay to confess to Saheon hyung, and although I couldn’t be certain, I thought it might be right based on my own judgment.
Yet, the fact that Saheon hyung had thought about getting a lover brought up two main thoughts. First: I had misunderstood hyung’s kindness. Second…
By now, my blank gaze was fixed on the bedside table. More precisely, the drawer attached to the table. As I stared vacantly at the table, I reached out and opened the drawer. Inside were the items I had expected.
With slightly trembling hands, I picked up the tube. The second thought, “Because I’m not good enough,” floated around.
During high school, I used to secretly frown at my friends’ tasteless jokes like “It’s no fun if you’re just passive” or “People who are active in bed are better,” but for some reason, at this moment, those words seemed right.
I didn’t like the conclusion that I had misunderstood. Looking at the bathroom where the sound of water could be heard, I chewed on my lower lip and put my hand on my top. Despite being alone, it took great courage to take off my clothes.
I took off my top and my black pants as well. The air felt cold on my skin as I stood in my underwear. Vaguely rubbing my arms that had gotten goosebumps, I glanced at the bathroom where the sound of water could still be heard.
Since I had already washed once, the scent of body wash lingered on my skin. Summoning the last of my courage, I took off my underwear. Even though no one was watching, my face turned bright red.
When I opened the now-familiar gel cap and squeezed some onto my palm, my face, which I didn’t think could get any hotter, turned crimson. Applying it to my backside was easier than expected. I thought I might make strange noises, but I was able to accept it without much difficulty, as if I were used to it.
As I did this intimate act in Saheon hyung’s bedroom, I knew my face must be flushed even without looking in a mirror. The heat rising from my cheeks was intense.
The shower sound continued. I slowly moved my feet, mentally calculating how long hyung had been in there. The moist feeling from behind was strange.
Standing in front of the bathroom door, I raised my hand to knock. But then, changing my mind, my hand chose to grab and turn the doorknob instead of knocking. The door opened smoothly.
As the bathroom door suddenly opened, Saheon hyung seemed startled, taking a deep breath and turning around, then opening his eyes wide. An erotic and strange silence flowed between hyung and me.
Although I had opened the door, I couldn’t figure out what to say. From Saheon hyung’s appearance, it seemed he was almost done washing, and I had also washed before going to the airport.
“H-hyung…”
An awkward call came out. My Adam’s apple moved up and down greatly. Worried that my passive behavior might not be interesting, unrefined words came out on their own in my urgent state of mind.
“Do you… want to… do it together?”
