#43
I blinked slowly as I looked at hyung. He had a concerned look on his face like a doctor and seemed serious. I suddenly hypothesized that Saheon hyung might have forgotten Korean after living in America for too long due to his flight training.
It seemed plausible. Saheon hyung had lived in the US during my high school years, and after getting hired, he would communicate in English with foreign captains, so he might get confused about some words.
“…Hyung, how can a man get pregnant?”
I tried to phrase it as gently as possible so as not to hurt hyung’s feelings. If he had momentarily confused the word, he would correct himself after hearing my response, and if he really misunderstood the meaning, I intended to explain it to him.
However, hyung said nothing. As Saheon hyung remained silent, I could only stand there blankly. Saheon hyung, holding the vacuum cleaner handle that looked small in his tall frame, stood like an advertisement model and whispered with a playful smile.
“I can’t teach you how to do it either.”
Though it was a lazy whisper, the house was so quiet that I could make out what he said. I looked at Saheon hyung with an even more bewildered expression.
There’s no way a man could get pregnant, so there’s no need for birth control pills. But Saheon hyung was talking as if it were possible for men to get pregnant. However, men can’t get pregnant…
No matter which thread of thought I followed, it kept circling back to the same point. I cut off my train of thought.
Then, did Saheon hyung say it on purpose, rather than mistaking the word or its meaning? Why? For what reason?
I stared blankly at Saheon hyung. Seeing him smile handsomely like an airline model, I felt like I was missing something. Just as I was wondering if birth control pills had some effect I didn’t know about, Saheon hyung’s smile had also faded somewhat.
Feeling unnecessarily anxious, I tried to quickly search for what I might have missed. However, due to the stomachache that had been faintly present since the end of class, my thoughts couldn’t progress far. Like the story of a dog meowing, it seemed even more impossible since it was an assumption that couldn’t be true from the start.
Suddenly, Saheon hyung let out a deep sigh. It was such a deep sigh that it made me even more anxious. Rubbing his face and slowly shaking his head, he returned to his usual gentle voice, tinged with a bit of fatigue.
“…It’s nothing.”
“Okay…”
I nodded, awkwardly agreeing. Saheon hyung, who had been roughly rubbing around his mouth, started the vacuum cleaner again without a word.
The loud humming noise spread through the house. I went to my room, still clutching my bag strap tightly. With hyung in that kind of mood, it seemed difficult to ask where the medicine was.
Fortunately, as I was changing into comfortable clothes, I remembered that I had brought a lot of over-the-counter medicines in my luggage. It was thanks to my father, who had given me a basketful of medicines to take when I got sick.
When I opened the front pocket of the carrier tucked away in the corner of the built-in closet, various medicines in plastic bags tumbled out. Among the numerous pills, there was, of course, medicine for upset stomachs. Although it was a bit ambiguous whether it was an upset stomach or abdominal pain, since both would have pain-relieving effects, I figured either one would do.
Whether it was because I had changed into comfortable clothes or because of the reassurance of finding medicine, the aching sensation in my stomach had almost disappeared. Still, it seemed best to take some just in case it hurt again later.
I left my room and headed to the kitchen. The vacuum cleaner cord was stretched long into hyung’s room, and from the humming sound, it seemed he had changed areas.
I filled a glass with water and swallowed the pill. The cool water scraped down my throat. Although a single small pill wouldn’t have an immediate effect, I had the illusion that everything was already better.
As I finished sipping the remaining water, the vacuum cleaner sound completely disappeared. Saheon hyung came out carrying the quite heavy vacuum cleaner, roughly stuffed it between the doors leading to the veranda, and then approached me.
“Does your stomach still hurt?”
“No, I think it’s okay now…”
“What medicine did you take?”
“The one for upset stomach.”
Hyung’s hand sneaked under my hoodie from behind me. I tensed my stomach as I suddenly felt the warmth of his hand. As he gently rubbed my lower abdomen with seemingly no intention, he whispered.
“What medicine did you say you took?”
I turned my head to glare at Saheon hyung. I could quickly guess what he wanted me to say. Once again, the question returned to square one. Men can’t get pregnant, so why was he bringing this up?
“Hyung, birth control pills…”
Finally, I opened my mouth in a teaching tone. Living with teacher parents for 20 years, sometimes an unintentional teacher-like habit of speaking comes out, and this seemed to be one of those times.
“They’re pills that prevent pregnancy by regulating ovulation. I think you’re confusing the words…”
“KU… No, you know our company’s chairman.”
Saheon hyung interrupted me and brought up a seemingly unrelated topic. His lips descended on my nape. Caught off guard by the sudden kiss, I forgot everything I was about to say.
Hyung pressed his lips a little harder, sucking around where the band-aid was as if biting my nape. It felt like an electric current was spreading throughout my body. As my resistance ceased, Saheon hyung continued speaking gently.
“He has a son who got married recently due to a speed violation. There’s a rumor among employees that Director Cha’s partner is a man.”
Once again, hot lips touched my nape. A shiver ran down my spine, and I gripped the cup tightly. Saheon hyung gently reached out to put the cup down, then joined his hand that was already caressing my stomach.
“They say they had a daughter.”
“…Huh?”
Dumbfounded, I stupidly asked back. With such a strong premise in my head, I couldn’t easily guess what Saheon hyung was trying to say. As I blinked my eyes, hyung whispered with his lips almost touching my ear.
“So, what medicine did Cheongmyeong say he took?”
While it was true that his low baritone voice, so low it gave me goosebumps, was attractive, regardless of how handsome hyung was, he kept saying incomprehensible things. Slowly chewing on the soft flesh inside my mouth, I could only carefully utter conventional words.
“…But hyung, men…”
Saheon hyung let out a deep sigh behind me, as if giving up. I thought I felt something hard briefly touch my lower back, but I wasn’t sure.
His hot breath touched my nape, weighted with complexity, and then his forehead rested on my shoulder. After rubbing his forehead on my clothes a few times, hyung carefully removed his hand that had been gently caressing me.
As the warm temperature disappeared, a sense of emptiness rushed in. Our bodies that had been tightly pressed together separated, and Saheon hyung leaned his hips against the island bar, childishly muttering.
“I’m going to change your saved name in my phone.”
“Huh?”
“I’m going to change it to ‘Mung-seon Daewongun.'”
Hyung started grumbling about isolationist policies and cultural exclusion. I watched in bewilderment as Saheon hyung suddenly turned into a child. Having known hyung for a long time, I knew that when he acted like a child, it meant he was sulking.
Why is he sulking? Stiff as a log, I glanced at Saheon hyung. When our eyes met, he suddenly made a “Wak!” sound and bit my shoulder, then went into the bedroom. It didn’t hurt, but the mark where his teeth had touched remained for a long time.
I massaged my shoulder where hyung’s teeth had touched and blankly watched him disappear. Seeing him immediately turn towards the bathroom, it seemed he was going to wash up. Supporting my assumption, the sound of water started.
My lips pouted in a sulky expression. I pushed my protruding lower lip in with the tip of my index finger. He had been saying nonsensical things and then suddenly sulked by himself. Such a baby.
Although I knew hyung was exaggeratedly pretending to sulk to tease me, I couldn’t help but feel a bit upset. I headed to my room, grumbling softly just as Saheon hyung had done.
Hearing hyung washing up reminded me that I hadn’t properly washed up this morning because I was in a rush to get to school. Suddenly, I felt grimy all over. Thinking it would be good to wash up while I remembered, I gathered my underwear and change of clothes and headed to the bathroom.
After undressing, I pressed the red marks visible in the mirror, and out of habit, also pressed my tired-looking eye area. The me in the mirror had his lips pursed.
Who was it that sulked first after insisting on an unreasonable stubbornness? I kept grumbling but paused momentarily, worried my voice might leak out over the shower sound. After calculating the distance between hyung’s bedroom and the bathroom in the living room, I realized it definitely wouldn’t be heard and started grumbling more freely.
But as my body relaxed under the warm water, another thought slowly began to surface.
If Saheon hyung was being so childishly stubborn, couldn’t I, as an adult, have been generous enough to go along with it once? If I had just pretended to give in, hyung wouldn’t have said such nonsensical things. Maybe this was an opportunity to show my maturity.
I rubbed my cheeks, which had turned red from the hot water, with my palms. The moisture was wiped away by my warm hands. Once I made a different resolution, my heart started pounding, perhaps due to nervousness.
Since I like to stay under the water for a long time when I shower, I didn’t know how much time had passed, but judging by how hot my whole body felt, it seemed I had been in the bathroom for quite a while.
The scent of shampoo and body wash wafted from my entire body. After rinsing off the remaining soap bubbles with warm water, I turned off the shower and quickly got dressed. Although my clothes got wet because I didn’t dry off properly, it was tolerable.
Perhaps because of the thought that I had to act on what had come to mind, I didn’t have the capacity to pay attention to anything else. Fortunately, as soon as I stepped out of the bathroom and felt the cool air, I fully realized how nonsensical what I was about to say was.
It was truly an absurd thing to say, but seeing Saheon hyung who wanted to hear those words, it seemed okay to say it once, but it was still strange. It was so strange that the question of whether Saheon hyung had some kind of unusual sexual desire briefly crossed my mind before being pushed back down.
I forced strength into my strangely twisting lips and observed the bedroom in the distance. The sound of water had stopped.
Would Saheon hyung still be sulking? In my mind, the desire to generously listen to him clashed with the opinion that it was still a strange sentence. It also seemed odd to suddenly go and say, “I think I misunderstood.” I unnecessarily hung the clothes to be washed over my arm and walked slowly.
As I came out to the living room through the hallway, I saw Saheon hyung’s bad habits. The clothes he had been wearing were strewn carelessly on the sofa. I decided to put hyung’s clothes in the laundry basket along with mine since I was going there anyway.
One shirt, one pair of training pants. After picking up all the clothes on the sofa, I slowly headed to hyung’s room. Scratching my suddenly itchy nape with my free hand, I carefully entered the room.
Saheon hyung was leaning against the headboard of the bed. He seemed to have only washed his body, as his hair was dry but his body still had moisture on it, and he was wearing only a pair of drawers.
Hyung was focused on the small screen as if looking something up on his phone. I glanced towards him, but he acted as if he hadn’t noticed me.
The sulky feeling I had momentarily forgotten welled up again, but this might be the time to show my mature side. I picked up hyung’s discarded clothes scattered on the floor. Soon, my arms were full of clothes.
After picking up all the visible clothes, I tiptoed towards Saheon hyung. But once I stood in front of him, I thought it would be too strange to suddenly bring up the topic of taking medicine.
In the end, I chose to start the conversation in a different direction, mumbling.
“Hyung.”
“Yes?”
When I spoke first, Saheon hyung exaggeratedly pretended to be surprised. Seeing his reaction, I could tell it was clearly meant to tease me, but a corner of my heart still felt anxious. Once again mumbling, I brought up the topic indirectly.
“Do you have anything that needs washing?”
“Yes. It’s right here.”
Saheon hyung pointed to the drawers he was wearing with his index finger.
