#99
Hee-gyeom pouted and handed over the small shopping bag he was holding.
“Here. It’s important, yet you didn’t come to get it.”
Ha-min slowly took the shopping bag and checked its contents. The watch he had worn to the point of boredom was sitting there. Oddly enough, he had completely forgotten about it. At the same time, he felt a bit sorrowful. It felt like the root cause of all the incidents, making his feelings complicated.
“…Thanks.”
“If you’re thankful, buy me dinner. You haven’t eaten yet, have you, hyung?”
“Ah… yeah. But I’m currently…”
“There’s a really delicious place right in front— Oh…?”
Hee-gyeom, who had been speaking casually as usual, inadvertently glanced at Ha-min’s arm holding the shopping bag, and a drop of blood fell from beyond the sleeve. Startled, Hee-gyeom grabbed Ha-min’s arm and rolled up the sleeve. Ha-min let out a small groan and stepped back from the rough grip.
“Hyung, you’re bleeding…”
Feeling uncomfortable under Hee-gyeom’s wide-eyed stare, Ha-min quickly twisted his hand to free his arm. He then quickly covered his wrist with his sleeve.
“It’s fine.”
“How can it be fine! You’re bleeding, what kind of wound…”
“It’s really fine.”
Hee-gyeom was struck speechless by the rather firm tone. Looking closely, Ha-min’s complexion and overall condition didn’t seem good. Above all, seeing how tired he looked, Hee-gyeom awkwardly rubbed his nape and lowered his voice.
“Still, you should treat it.”
“I’ll do it when I get home.”
“Did something happen?”
Is it that obvious…? Both Eun-soo and Hee-gyeom asked the same thing. It meant he couldn’t hide anything.
Sensing something was off, Hee-gyeom couldn’t shake off his worry and grasped Ha-min’s slightly trembling shoulders. The wound he saw earlier was not ordinary. It wasn’t from falling or bumping into something. Anyone could see it was a self-inflicted wound, deeply carved. Hee-gyeom continued speaking to the silent Ha-min with a worried face.
“I’ll walk you home.”
“…There’s no need. It’s right in front.”
“That’s why. Because it’s right in front, I’ll walk you there.”
“Hee-gyeom.”
“I know. It’s burdensome, right?”
“It’s not that…”
“Just for today. Only for today, I’ll do this. Looking at you now, no one would just walk by.”
Even though he wanted to firmly refuse, saying it wasn’t necessary, Ha-min didn’t have the strength left to insist. He quietly turned to walk, without the energy to reply. Hee-gyeom walked beside him, holding onto Ha-min’s shoulder. Feeling an oddly warm heat from the hand on his shoulder, Hee-gyeom glanced at Ha-min’s profile. His ears were bright red.
“You seem to have a fever too. Is it a cold?”
“…Yeah, I guess so.”
“Have you taken medicine?”
“Yeah.”
“Good. Get home, treat yourself, and get some good rest.”
“…Okay.”
“You’re not going to tell me what happened, are you?”
“…Sorry.”
“There’s no need to be sorry. But if you ever want to talk about it, let me know.”
Hee-gyeom responded with a playful smile, worried it might be burdensome. While thinking he had become quite close to Ha-min, he was well aware that Ha-min pushed away excessive interest and concern. In short, Ha-min was not the type to open up easily, and Hee-gyeom, sensing the reason, was trying not to cross that line.
“It’s nothing. You really don’t need to worry about it.”
Ha-min met Hee-gyeom’s eyes with clear eyes.
Although he felt sorry towards Hee-gyeom, Ha-min wasn’t in a good state of mind to face him right now. Ever since unintentionally discovering Ha-min’s hidden secret, he had been subtly clashing with Tae-rim. Moreover, due to a few innocent messages, even Tae-rim had noticed everything… Knowing it wasn’t Hee-gyeom’s fault, Ha-min couldn’t say a word of blame. Even if he felt burdened by unwanted kindness, he couldn’t fault a person’s good intentions.
Because he had wished for such small kindness countless times when he was in high school. If just one person had been by his side, if someone had shown even a little kindness, he probably wouldn’t have done such foolish things.
“At least let me treat your wound.”
Ha-min shook his head, smiling awkwardly while clutching his wrist. He disliked showing his vulnerabilities to this boy.
“Go now, I’m really fine. I’m not a kid.”
As soon as they arrived in front of the gosiwon, Ha-min forced a smile and pushed Hee-gyeom’s back.
“Should I buy you some porridge?”
“I’m going to sleep as soon as I get in. If I’m hungry, I’ll buy something myself.”
Ha-min smiled with a clear face. Seeing the expression that seemed to pat him and say it’s really okay, Hee-gyeom pressed his lips together, nodded, and conceded.
“I don’t know what’s going on, but… don’t be in pain, hyung.”
Hee-gyeom didn’t insist further and spoke calmly. Although he couldn’t know what was happening, he couldn’t help but feel concerned seeing Ha-min struggling.
Ha-min smiled gently at Hee-gyeom’s persistent worry. Warm kindness was always appreciated.
“…Thank you. For caring.”
“It’s not that much…”
“For the watch too.”
Ha-min said with a faint smile, waving the shopping bag he was holding. Only then did Hee-gyeom seem to let go of his lingering concerns, chuckling and waving his hand lightly.
“Go inside.”
“Yeah, you take care too.”
Ha-min stayed in place, watching Hee-gyeom’s retreating figure until it disappeared, waving back at Hee-gyeom who kept turning back to wave even from afar. Seeing such kind behavior sometimes made him think it would have been nice to have a younger brother like that.
Only after Hee-gyeom’s figure was out of sight did Ha-min finally turn to leave. Now all he wanted was to go and get a good rest. Just as he was about to force his exhausted body up the stairs, a familiar car caught his eye. A foreign car that didn’t fit the shabby gosiwon was parked in the parking lot next to the stairs. And he suddenly locked eyes with the owner sitting in the driver’s seat, staring straight ahead. Ha-min felt his heart plummet as he sensed the gaze that seemed to have been staring at him for a while.
Tak. As their eyes met, Tae-rim, who had been sitting in the driver’s seat, got out of the car and walked over. The sound of his footsteps echoed quietly in the deserted street.
“……”
“…I heard you were sick.”
At the deliberately casual question, Ha-min lost his words and lowered his head. He kept feeling instinctively scared. He felt embarrassed, ashamed, and increasingly small, making it hard to breathe.
“……”
“……”
Without realizing it, Ha-min took a step back. Hearing the sound of careful steps approaching in response to his retreat, Ha-min’s body visibly trembled. Seeing this, Tae-rim stopped his approach and stayed in place. Faced with Ha-min’s extremely avoidant behavior and refusal to make eye contact, Tae-rim let out a deep sigh and rubbed his mouth.
“…You don’t want to talk to hyung?”
At his question, Ha-min bit his lip nervously. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to talk. He just hadn’t sorted out what to say. That’s partly why he had been avoiding it. He wanted to organize his thoughts and speak calmly. As Ha-min hesitated, the heavy silence continued.
“……”
“……”
What should I say…? Meanwhile, Ha-min staggered as his vision blurred momentarily from the rising fever.
“Ha-min….”
Tak.
At that moment, Ha-min flinched away from Tae-rim’s hand that urgently tried to catch him, as if startled. Tae-rim, whose reaching hand and calling voice had been abruptly cut off, slowly clenched his fist. It seemed Tae-rim was just as at a loss, appearing to put a lot of thought into every word and gesture. The atmosphere was completely different from usual, scary and awkward.
“……”
Tae-rim took a deep breath to compose himself, and spoke slowly as if trying to soothe Ha-min, whose eyes were wandering like a lost herbivore.
“…Let’s go home.”
“……”
“Let’s take some medicine and rest there. You don’t look well.”
After Ha-min had fled like that yesterday, Tae-rim stood there for a while, unable to leave. Aside from being surprised, he was overcome with a deep sense of self-doubt about what he was doing. Not only had he been unaware of those wounds until now, but Lee Tae-rim himself knew nothing about the story behind Song Ha-min’s choice to do such a thing.
And after thousands of thoughts, what came to mind was the fact that Ha-min might not have been here now. With that thought, Tae-rim couldn’t sleep all night, and his mind went blank with the unfamiliar emotion, making it difficult to organize his thoughts. Perhaps that’s why Tae-rim himself was different from usual.
He hesitated, wavered, and faltered. And after all that, all he could manage to say was to go home.
“…You don’t want to?”
Tae-rim asked in a low voice to Ha-min, who gave no answer. Ha-min nodded slightly, still with his head down, at the somewhat cautious question.
“…You don’t want to talk either?”
“……”
Ha-min steadied his breathing.
“…Later… can I contact you?”
“……”
“After some time… can we talk again then?”
He put strength into each syllable to avoid stumbling over his words. Although it was difficult to speak, there was no response from the other person. Only then did Ha-min slowly raise his head, and Tae-rim’s face gradually came into focus. The streetlight’s backlight cast a shadow over his face, making him look even more troubled. After pondering for a moment, he let out a deep sigh and rubbed his mouth.
“Okay.”
“……”
His calm voice contrasted with his confused face. Nodding as if to respect Ha-min’s opinion, Tae-rim’s dark eyes, which had been wandering in the air, settled back on Ha-min.
“…How long.”
And when Ha-min responded with a questioning “Hm?” to the subject-less question, Tae-rim continued.
“How long… do I have to wait, I mean.”
“…Oh.”
Ha-min let out a small gasp, unable to hide his surprise at the unexpected question. It was a question he couldn’t give an exact answer to.
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
