#88
Ha-min headed to the bathroom without further questions. He quickly washed his face with cold water and stared at his dazed reflection in the mirror. Yesterday, hyung had left without a word. He didn’t press about why Ha-min was crying or what he was saying, but just comforted him, told him to rest well, and left. He thought that was the end. He had assumed hyung didn’t ask anything because he noticed Ha-min’s true feelings and wanted to avoid them…
Ha-min finished brushing his teeth thoroughly and hastily wiped the water from his face with a towel. Though embarrassed by his swollen, unsightly face, he wanted to quickly understand the situation.
“If you’re done washing up, let’s eat first, my sons.”
His mother, who had been chatting pleasantly with Tae-rim, got up as soon as she saw Ha-min come out of the bathroom. As if she had been waiting, she grunted “ugh” as she got up, holding her knees, and headed to the kitchen.
“Let me help you,” Tae-rim said politely with a smile, but Ha-min’s mother hurriedly waved him off.
“Nonsense, you’re a guest. The preparation will be done quickly, so talk with Ha-min.”
His mother rolled up her sleeves more energetically than ever. Ha-min watched their friendly interaction with dazed eyes. Only when his mother went to the kitchen were they left alone. Tae-rim calmly sipped his tea.
“Why did you come here…?” Ha-min asked in a lowered voice, glancing at his mother’s back in the kitchen, worried their conversation might be overheard.
“Your mother just said, didn’t she? I came to get you.”
“…I don’t understand.”
Ha-min muttered with a somewhat confused face. His feelings had been exposed, and their relationship was already over and done with. There was no reason for him to barge in this early in the morning or chat amiably with his mother.
“You’re not going to keep missing school, are you?”
“…”
“The final exams are coming up soon, right? Or are you planning to stay here indefinitely?”
He asked calmly and methodically. It was the tone of a polite older brother scolding a rebellious younger sibling. As if entranced, Ha-min shook his head. Of course not. He had planned to return soon. But…
Before his thoughts could go further, Tae-rim spoke again. His charming voice rang sweetly in Ha-min’s ears.
“Did you sleep well?”
“…”
“Your face is very swollen. Like a carp.”
He smiled like a boy and playfully stroked the area around Ha-min’s eyes. Ha-min flinched at the sudden touch, causing Tae-rim’s smiling face to stiffen slightly. However, it soon softened again as he worriedly placed his hand on Ha-min’s forehead. A pleasantly cool sensation enveloped his skin.
“You don’t have a fever, do you?”
Ha-min looked at Tae-rim hesitantly and slowly shook his head.
“I was worried because you cried so much. Thought you might get sick.”
His previously harsh demeanor was nowhere to be seen, replaced by his usual kind self. Ha-min stared at him with eyes that couldn’t comprehend the situation at all.
“I’m, I’m fine… But more importantly-”
“Kids, come eat—!”
Just as he was about to speak in earnest, his mother’s call cut him off. As Ha-min turned his head in embarrassment, Tae-rim slightly lowered his head and brought his red lips to Ha-min’s ear.
“Let’s talk later.”
The beautiful curve drawn on his lips looked secretive. And the hand naturally brushing the nape of his neck was equally mysterious. The tip of Ha-min’s ear, which had flinched, turned red as if on cue. Ha-min fiddled with his heated ear as he watched Tae-rim’s back as he headed to the dining table first.
**
He couldn’t tell if the food was going down his nose or his throat. Ha-min stared at his chopsticks grasping at air while chewing his rice. It was a deliberate effort to avoid eye contact.
“Tae-rim said he was very worried about you.”
His mother, who had been smiling brightly at hyung’s compliments about looking young for her age and how delicious the food was, suddenly changed the subject. Ha-min, who had been trying to avoid joining the conversation, raised his head with round eyes, saying “Huh?” Tae-rim, sitting across from him, was smiling gently.
“He said he went looking everywhere in the neighborhood because you suddenly went off the grid and weren’t answering calls.”
His mother stroked Tae-rim’s shoulder with a grateful face, seemingly touched by this fact. Ha-min was struck dumb, like he had eaten honey.
“Come to think of it, didn’t you come yesterday too?”
His mother asked with wide eyes, as if suddenly remembering. Tae-rim, who had been eating elegantly even in this small, modest place, smiled faintly.
“It was too late yesterday, so I just saw his face and left. I planned to come back today. But I think I might have come too early. I’m sorry, mother.”
As he smiled charmingly while drawling his words good-naturedly, Ha-min’s mother fluttered, saying it was nonsense.
Ha-min quietly ate his rice, unable to ask about Tae-rim’s intentions in front of his mother. His head felt waterlogged, making it difficult to think.
“Pack your things after eating, Ha-min.”
Ha-min suddenly raised his head at the gentle voice. As he blinked as if to say ‘What do you mean?’, Ha-min’s mother answered as if she had been waiting.
“Didn’t you promise to go back with Tae-rim today?”
I did…?
As Ha-min looked at him bewilderedly with a face that said he had never heard of this, Tae-rim rested his chin on his hand and curved his lips. His red lips rose attractively.
“Ever since you were little, you’d be overjoyed just seeing Tae-rim. Look at you, ready to leave as soon as you see hyung.”
“Is that so?”
His eyes sparkled as if he had heard an interesting story. Ha-min’s mother, seemingly unaware of the glint in his eyes that only Ha-min had noticed, glanced at Ha-min with a sly smile and eagerly added:
“Of course~ He liked you so much. Always raiding the supermarket saying he’d give things to hyung, following you around even if he just saw your hair from afar.”
“Mo-mom…”
Of all times to bring this up.
Ha-min hurriedly tried to stop her words with a reddened face. These words were driving the final nail in the coffin, now that everything was already exposed.
“I see.”
He murmured quietly. His lips moved as if repeating the words to himself.
“Even when you went to America, Tae-rim, he cried alone in his room so much. He always wrote letters to send to you, but couldn’t because he didn’t know the address.”
Ha-min covered his face, squeezing his eyes shut. He felt as if he had been stripped naked, his face and neck completely red. He wanted to escape immediately, but even if he ran away, it would just be to his room. Ha… Ha-min let out a deep sigh and looked at his mother reproachfully with desperate eyes, silently begging her to stop.
Tae-rim listened intently to the mother’s somewhat sentimental words. His listening face looked so serious that it made Ha-min’s insides even more turbulent.
“I was a bad guy, wasn’t I?”
“Yes. You should have at least said goodbye before leaving. Even the neighborhood aunties were disappointed after you left.”
His mother laughed heartily and patted Tae-rim’s back. It was a friendly gesture, but Ha-min saw Tae-rim’s eyebrow twitch. Ha-min unnecessarily asked his mother for another bowl of rice, trying to separate her from Tae-rim.
Then, inadvertently, his eyes met Tae-rim’s in mid-air. Tae-rim stared at him intently with an unreadable gaze. Ha-min unconsciously turned his head away quickly from those eyes that seemed somehow persistent and penetrating. His heart rate seemed to quicken, making him feel queasy. Ha-min gulped down some cold water, trying to calm his insides.
**
Not understanding how the situation had turned out this way, Ha-min packed his things as if being chased. Although he had intended to return to the gosiwon soon, he had no intention whatsoever of going with Tae-rim.
His mother, who had come out to see them off in front of the villa, waved goodbye while pulling her thin cardigan closed. She seemed very grateful and pleased that Tae-rim was taking care of Ha-min. Tae-rim politely said goodbye, then put Ha-min in the passenger seat first before getting into the driver’s seat. He started the engine, shifted gears, and drove out of the narrow alley.
Although he had come along in a daze, Ha-min didn’t know what to say. Should he ask why Tae-rim had come? Or should he explain about yesterday? Ha-min kept pondering while staring straight ahead. As they left the neighborhood, the car was quiet to the point of being silent. Tae-rim rested his elbow on the window sill and his chin on his hand, steering with his other arm. Ha-min felt pathetic, thinking he was the only one feeling tense amid Tae-rim’s casual demeanor.
“Show me the letters.”
It was Tae-rim’s kind voice that broke the silence. At this sudden request, Ha-min replied with an embarrassed face, avoiding eye contact.
“I… I threw them away.”
He hadn’t expected Tae-rim to still be thinking about what his mother had said during mealtime.
“That’s a shame. I wanted to see them.”
His words sounded so sweet. His tone, as if he was really disappointed and had been looking forward to it, made Ha-min bite his lower lip hard. For some reason, he felt a little angry at Tae-rim’s nonchalant attitude. Ha-min quietly looked out the window, blinking as he asked in a low voice:
“Why did you come today?”
I thought I’d never see you again… I thought you’d avoid me.
“I told you. I came to get you.”
“…I never said I’d go back with you.”
“I know. Given your personality, I thought you’d avoid me again after what happened yesterday, so I came to find you.”
The words spoken in a casual tone were correct. He knew Ha-min too well now. Now that even his feelings had been exposed, there was nothing left to lie about. Remembering yesterday’s events that had suddenly come to mind, Ha-min fiddled with his fingertips. Unable to look at Tae-rim, he muttered softly:
“…I’m sorry for making a scene yesterday.”
He apologized, thinking of how he had cried while clinging to Tae-rim, who knew nothing. It must have been a nuisance, sobbing while in his arms.
“Why does Ha-min have so many things to be sorry for?”
As the car stopped briefly at a signal, he gazed at Ha-min with calm eyes. Thinking it might be a reproach for his inadequacy, Ha-min mumbled and let out a small sigh, but Tae-rim continued:
“Are you trying to make hyung look like a bastard?”
