#66
“Are you really not coming in, oppa?”
Everyone who saw him asked the same question.
“No. You guys have fun. I’ll stay here.”
“Oh, why not? Come in with us.”
Woo-kyung suddenly grabbed Ha-min’s wrist and pulled. Caught off guard by the sudden force, Ha-min’s body was involuntarily dragged along.
“I know you’re good at avoiding things, but on a day like this, you should join in the fun.”
Woo-kyung smiled good-naturedly and pulled once more. Surprised by the sudden force, Ha-min couldn’t even speak.
“W-wait.”
“Hey, Ha Eun-soo, on the count of three, we’re throwing him in, okay?”
Woo-kyung giggled excitedly. Before he knew it, Ha-min’s feet were already touching the pool tiles.
“Don’t. I said I don’t want to.”
Noticing Ha-min’s uncomfortable face as he struggled, Eun-soo spoke up. Woo-kyung hesitated for a moment, then changed his mind.
“Then, hyung, come in with us. Diving, diving!”
Seemingly very excited, Woo-kyung grabbed Ha-min’s wrist and shook it vigorously. Ha-min stepped back with a flustered face. Although he usually had trouble refusing, this time he really didn’t want to. Just as Ha-min was shaking his head with difficulty and trying to back away, his body tilted forward. He felt a chilling sensation, as if he had broken free from gravity.
That feeling lasted only a moment before he plunged into the pool with a splash. Caught off guard by the unexpected situation, water rushed into his eyes, nose, and mouth. While he wasn’t truly afraid of water, the sudden situation was shocking enough to cause a momentary sense of panic.
Ha-min flailed desperately and pulled his face out of the water. As soon as he escaped the suffocating space, he burst into coughing. He rubbed his stinging eyes with his wet hands and gasped for breath. Then he immediately checked his now-soaked watch.
Ha-min bit his lip, trying to suppress the emotions welling up inside him. He had said he didn’t want to… I said I didn’t want to… Ha-min looked around with aggrieved eyes. He saw Woo-kyung emerging from the water with a pleased expression.
“I… I said I didn’t want to…!”
The emotions swirling in his throat burst out involuntarily. His resentful voice echoed loudly for a moment. Surprised by Ha-min’s uncharacteristically loud outburst, the nearby kids all stared at him in shock.
“Ah… no.”
Both Woo-kyung and Eun-soo were blinking with wide eyes. Ha-min, momentarily flustered, ran his hand down his face. Unable to compose himself, he hurriedly got out of the pool. His clothes, soaked through, sagged heavily. Everyone was staring at him with bewildered looks. Even Woo-kyung and Eun-soo, who usually acted so easygoing, were at a loss for words.
“…Sorry.”
Ha-min briefly apologized to the kids who were shocked because of him and moved away as if fleeing. His wet body felt heavy. Ha-min let out a deep sigh and hurried to leave the place. He too wanted to play with the others.
He wanted to enjoy water games or swim without any worries, but he was someone with many things to hide. A coward trembling at the thought of revealing even a single scar. It wasn’t just about a watch possibly breaking. That was just his only shield. It wasn’t just about hiding his scars, but also his emotional… Ha-min let out a small sigh as his pitiful emotions surged.
“Ha…”
As he escaped from the pool area, to make matters worse, the watch strap suddenly broke. Perhaps because it was already worn out, the broken strap fell limply. The exposed scar was hideously ugly. Although new skin had grown over the cut that had been made a couple of times, the scar remained undiminished. It was a disgusting and ugly scar just to look at.
Whenever he clearly faced this scar, the memories of that time automatically came back. Cutting his wrist with a box cutter, his mother finding him and wailing, his consciousness fading to the point where he really thought he was going to die – all the scenes from that time flashed through his mind without missing a single detail. They were terrible and miserable memories. Ha-min stared blankly at his wrist. That’s when it happened.
“Ha-min?”
At the gentle voice, Ha-min’s blank pupils suddenly widened. And immediately, without realizing it, he covered his wrist with his other hand. His heart pounded as if it was about to burst. A chill ran down his spine, making his hair stand on end.
“Why are you like this…?”
Tae-rim, who found Ha-min standing soaking wet in the middle of the lobby, approached with furrowed brows. His voice was full of puzzlement. And as he approached, Ha-min gripped his wrist even more tightly. He put so much force into his hand that it might cramp, while unconsciously stepping backward.
He was the last… the last person Ha-min wanted to see this. Even if everyone else found out, he didn’t want this person to know. His heart was beating so fast that it made him feel nauseous. At the same time, his breathing became rough. It felt like everything was going dark before his eyes.
“What happened to you?”
Just as Tae-rim reached out with a concerned voice to touch Ha-min’s body, which looked like a drowned rat…
Slap.
“……”
“……”
Ha-min, gasping for breath, pushed away Tae-rim’s approaching hand. He knocked away the hand that was about to touch his shoulder and stepped back.
And at that moment, for the first time in his life, he saw Tae-rim’s shocked eyes.
He saw Tae-rim hesitate as his hand was pushed away. The moment he caught a glimpse of Tae-rim’s surprised eyes, Ha-min was startled himself. He hadn’t meant to push him away so coldly, but he was desperate to hide his scar. It was an involuntary action because his mind had gone blank.
Ha-min exhaled a shaky breath and glanced at Tae-rim. Tae-rim had already composed his surprised expression and was now looking Ha-min up and down. It was a gaze as if he was trying to gauge what this situation was about. Ha-min hurriedly hid his wrist behind his back at the approaching gaze and smiled awkwardly as if nothing had happened.
“Where… are you going?”
Ha-min awkwardly changed the subject, noticing Tae-rim’s appearance as if he was about to go out. He felt embarrassed as water was dripping from his hair and clothes. He shrank back and took a step backward, worried that he might wet Tae-rim’s clothes.
“……”
Tae-rim was silent for a moment. His gaze, assessing the situation, was persistent.
“I was just going to my room…”
To quickly escape the awkward silence and uncomfortable gaze, Ha-min blurted out an awkward excuse. It wasn’t a perfect answer to Tae-rim’s question, but he had to say something. Ha-min maintained a forced smile while avoiding Tae-rim’s direct gaze. Seeing Ha-min like this, Tae-rim’s brow furrowed noticeably.
“In that state…”
“Hyung!”
Just as Tae-rim was about to speak again, a loud call came from behind. It was enough to make Ha-min’s shoulders jump in surprise. When Ha-min turned around with a startled face, he saw Hee-gyeom approaching with a large towel and a bathrobe. He must have rushed out, as the jersey he was wearing wasn’t even zipped up, revealing his upper body, and his hair was still wet.
“How could you just leave like that―”
It wasn’t a scolding tone, but a voice full of concern. Hee-gyeom ran up and draped the large bathrobe over Ha-min’s shoulders.
“You scared me. Water’s dripping everywhere… Oh, hello.”
Hee-gyeom, who was also flustered, was drying Ha-min’s hair with the towel when he noticed Tae-rim standing opposite them and bowed in greeting. Tae-rim, who usually at least casually returned greetings, had his mouth tightly shut for some reason. Unaware of the atmosphere, Hee-gyeom continued speaking casually.
“Tae-in hyung is really angry right now. Shin Woo-kyung is getting a real scolding.”
“Huh…? No, why?”
“Why? How can someone force someone who doesn’t want to into the pool? Anyway, let’s go up to the room first.”
Hee-gyeom said, grasping Ha-min’s shoulder tightly. Ha-min’s feet moved involuntarily under the force pushing him towards the elevator. Then, as if suddenly remembering something, Hee-gyeom stopped and looked at Tae-rim politely.
“Ah, as you can see, this hyung is in this state, so we’ll go up first.”
Hee-gyeom forcibly pulled the dazed Ha-min along. Ha-min didn’t resist because he wanted to leave this place quickly anyway. He spoke as naturally as possible to Tae-rim, who was just standing there.
“Um… I’ll go first, hyung.”
As Ha-min spoke with an still awkward smile, Tae-rim, who had been silent, quietly looked at him. Seeing Ha-min’s somewhat urgent appearance, Tae-rim nodded slowly, as if reluctantly.
“…Alright, go ahead.”
Then he answered quietly. Ha-min unconsciously felt relieved at the gentle voice that seemed to be worrying about his soaked state. It was because Tae-rim didn’t question his strange behavior from earlier. If it were the perceptive hyung, he would have immediately noticed that something was off with Ha-min.
Ha-min made eye contact as a goodbye and turned around. Then he approached Hee-gyeom, who had already called the elevator. Although he felt the gaze on the back of his head, Ha-min’s only thought was to quickly leave that place. Even though the scar was already hidden by the bathrobe, the hand holding his wrist didn’t let go. His fingertips kept trembling.
**
“Are you really okay?”
Hee-gyeom, who had followed Ha-min to his room, asked. He shook his own wet hair vigorously without hesitation. Then he glanced at Ha-min, who looked somewhat unstable.
“Ah, yes. Thank you…”
The thought occurred to him that if Hee-gyeom hadn’t intervened then, Tae-rim probably would have seen… As this thought crossed his mind, his heart started racing again. Feeling his heart pounding instinctively, Ha-min frowned and lightly tapped his solar plexus.
