#Dating Novice (12)
“That’s not—”
“……”
“…It-it was nothing. When I was broadcasting with Tae-in, we suddenly disappeared… I felt like I owed him…”
“……”
“…I knew you didn’t like it much… It was just for a moment… just a moment…”
“Why don’t you have a boyfriend?”
It was a single phrase that cut through his rambling excuses. Ha-min was surprised not only that he already knew about today’s broadcast, but also that he was targeting that specific part, and suddenly fell silent.
“Then what am I to you, standing right in front of you?”
“……”
“Ha-min.”
“……”
“Do you really not have a boyfriend?”
A sigh rose to his throat at Tae-rim’s expressionless face, all traces of a smile now gone. He had planned to carefully explain about the broadcast when Tae-rim returned, just in case. But nothing was going as planned, making him feel not just troubled but frustrated.
“That was… I accidentally… it was a mistake. Without any other meaning…”
“It’s always like this.”
“……”
“I don’t know what goes on in that small head of yours, or which way you’ll jump next.”
“……”
“Have you grown tired of me?”
“W-what? No, that’s not it…!”
“I thought maybe you’d lost interest after I said that crap about marrying women and whatnot.”
“……”
“You still don’t trust me well.”
At his words, spoken casually as if discussing someone else, Ha-min again lost his ability to speak. He couldn’t easily respond to the feeling of being jabbed about the lingering effects of the past. In the deep silence that settled around them, a voice without inflection again divided the space between them.
“Maybe I should just lock you up.”
Though his appearance was calm, there was an increased coldness that made Ha-min instinctively know this wasn’t a joke.
“I think it was good to install that app.”
“……”
“What if you run away again because you’re overthinking things?”
“……”
“…Right?”
As his footsteps gradually approached, Ha-min unconsciously took a step back. Tae-rim’s gaze fell on his retreating foot. A predatory smile touched his lips.
“Do you still want me to tell you everything, even like this?”
At his question, asked with only his mouth smiling, Ha-min looked up at him with a somewhat dumbfounded expression. Meeting Tae-rim’s chilling smile that seemed to ask if this was okay, Ha-min exhaled briefly. It was a somewhat complicated sigh. He hadn’t known Tae-rim had such thoughts. They were full of things they didn’t know about each other. When he felt Tae-rim’s strange possessiveness like this, it was more difficult than frightening. Rather than disliking it, he felt an ache in his solar plexus.
“Running away… I won’t… do that anymore.”
“……”
“I’ve never thought… that I disliked you… or lost interest…”
It felt like his fault. Ha-min felt a bit sad, as if it was his fault that Tae-rim had such thoughts. He shook his head, denying it, frustrated with himself for making him think that way. But a self-deprecating voice came back.
“Then were you disappointed?”
“…Hyung.”
“So you made up a non-existent senior to avoid me.”
“……”
“And erased your boyfriend too.”
“…That was because I—”
Just as Ha-min urgently tried to speak at the chillingly low voice, Tae-rim roughly took off the shirt he was wearing and approached. Surprised by the suddenly reduced distance, Ha-min looked up at him with startled eyes, only for Tae-rim to grab his face and crash their lips together. Ha-min let out an urgent moan and grabbed Tae-rim’s arm at the kiss that seemed like it would devour him whole. But as if he had no intention of pulling away, Tae-rim more persistently invaded Ha-min’s parted lips and thoroughly dominated his mouth.
“Mmm…”
While tickling the roof of his mouth with the tip of his tongue, he stickily rubbed Ha-min’s earlobe with his finger. Just as Ha-min gasped for breath at the rough tongue movements that seemed intent on conquering him, Tae-rim opened his mouth wider and swallowed Ha-min’s tongue. He eagerly gulped down even his saliva and attacked him. Ha-min’s head bent far back under the force pushing against him. Tae-rim grabbed the back of his head to prevent strain and pressed closer. He rubbed their bodies together explicitly and increased the stimulation by inserting and removing his finger from Ha-min’s ear.
“Mmm… haah…”
Finding it difficult to breathe, Ha-min pushed against his shoulder and offered small resistance. But the massive body didn’t budge and stuck to him without any gap, thrusting his tongue in and deliberately pushing saliva into Ha-min’s throat. Under this coercive movement, Ha-min unconsciously swallowed the saliva Tae-rim pushed in with a gulp and trembled slightly. As if somewhat satisfied, Tae-rim’s kiss gradually softened, but it was still rough and vulgar. Only after sucking and swallowing until Ha-min’s lips were swollen did Tae-rim slowly pull away.
“Does Ha-min do this with someone who’s not his boyfriend?”
Even then, their lips didn’t separate. His voice, whispered with their lips still touching, felt base. Desperate for oxygen, Ha-min gasped for breath and looked at him with a harsh gaze.
Even though you know it’s not true. With his hurt feelings evident, he bit his lip while breathing heavily. Tae-rim’s gaze was still filled with coldness. He was continuously interrogating him.
“…I was afraid… everyone would find out…”
Even amid his distress, Ha-min struggled to continue speaking.
“I was afraid it would be discovered… afraid people would find out you’re dating a man…”
Only then, after backing away from the violent kiss, did Ha-min realize he was leaning against the wall. He leaned more comfortably and looked up at Tae-rim again directly. His will not to avoid him was evident.
“…Many people know you, and you’re famous…”
“Ha.”
A laugh as if in disbelief descended.
“Am I some kind of celebrity?”
“You know many people…”
“I don’t care about people who have no interest in me.”
“……”
“You’re the only one I care about.”
“……”
“Why you avoided me to the point of lying, why you went to such a place without saying anything and said you don’t have a boyfriend.”
“……”
“It makes me keep having such petty thoughts.”
Their gazes met, transparent without a hint of falsehood. It felt like his overflowing sincerity was pouring down on Ha-min. Having lost words, Ha-min blankly stared at Tae-rim. His heart began to beat more urgently than when they had shared that damp and obscene kiss.
“Even my parents know I’ve become a gay bastard.”
“……”
“What does it matter if people I don’t even know find out?”
He added nonchalantly, as if talking about someone else.
While Ha-min had been afraid only of an end he didn’t know when would come, Tae-rim had been pushing forward aggressively. Like someone who already knew the outcome. As if only the two of them existed at that end.
It felt like his worries and thoughts were suddenly being washed away. As if an absurd laugh might burst out.
“I’m holding back only because you’re uncomfortable.”
He spoke as if it were a grievance, exhaling a suppressed breath. Seeing him pour this out as if barely restraining himself, Ha-min murmured softly.
“I’m sorry…”
Ha-min approached him first and rested his forehead against Tae-rim’s chest. At the closer distance, at the contact he initiated, Tae-rim’s large body noticeably flinched.
Since Ha-min was usually sparing with physical affection, he rarely approached first and generally kept his body guarded. Tae-rim froze for a moment at the sudden skin contact. Then a small voice flowed into Tae-rim’s ear again.
“…I’m sorry.”
The small apologetic voice felt excessively tender.
“I won’t… do it again.”
As Ha-min apologized while gently rubbing his face near Tae-rim’s collarbone, Tae-rim’s heart surged roughly.
“…Ha.”
He paused for a moment, then embraced Ha-min breathlessly as if he had been waiting for this. Despite being angry, the small apologetic gesture tied his insides in knots, and he couldn’t help but embrace him. Moreover, the sight of him apologizing first made his heart ache with sympathy. Tae-rim crumpled Ha-min into his arms with all his might, kissed the top of his head several times, and exhaled hot breaths.
But as if the atonement wasn’t over yet, Ha-min’s arms tightened as he embraced Tae-rim back.
“I’ll… do better too.”
“……”
“So you won’t have such thoughts… bad thoughts…”
“……”
“I’ll try harder…”
His voice was resolute as he repented and pledged himself. Tae-rim almost wanted to laugh at how Ha-min referred to his malicious thoughts merely as “bad thoughts,” but at the same time found it lovable. Unable to control the sudden surge of affection, Tae-rim endlessly kissed Ha-min’s crown, forehead, and various parts of his face. As if he had been waiting only for this moment, he rubbed cheeks, skin, and pressed against him. He didn’t know how to fully express the emotions surging inside him.
“…It’s difficult.”
“……”
“I want to do well.”
“……”
“Why is it so difficult?”
He exhaled a rising sigh and rested his forehead on Ha-min’s nape. Like someone who had settled here after wandering for a long time, he breathed deeply with profound regret. Then he embraced Ha-min’s back roughly enough to take his breath away. Though somewhat forceful and rough, Ha-min showed no sign of avoidance and applied more force to the arms embracing his waist. Moreover, he surrendered himself completely and buried his face in Tae-rim’s embrace. At this sight, Tae-rim felt a strong impulse pressing his solar plexus. A distant and intense impulse and greed that he absolutely did not want to let go, could not let go, made it seem like no more words were necessary. He was newly realizing it. That these small collisions, this reconciliation, were evidence of passionate love. Tae-rim only now realized that in relationships, even trivial things can shake one’s life.
**
As soon as they ended their dispute, which was like cutting water with a knife, they eagerly explored each other’s mouths as if they had been waiting. Even Ha-min, usually passive, urgently parted his lips to welcome Tae-rim’s tongue. While awkwardly showing off his kissing skills that never improved no matter how much he practiced, he embraced Tae-rim and moved his mouth. In contrast, the skilled Tae-rim explored the open mouth while pushing his hands between Ha-min’s armpits. Just as Ha-min flinched at the sudden touch, his feet left the ground. Startled by the floating sensation, he instinctively wrapped his legs around Tae-rim’s waist.
“Ha… wa-wait…”
Though he dropped his lips in surprise at being lifted, his partner showed no mercy. As if not allowing any gap, Tae-rim playfully teased Ha-min’s lower lip with his tongue and obscenely sucked his wet tongue. Helplessly subjected to this, Ha-min could only hang onto him with his mouth open.
“Hold on tight…”
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
