Sweet Shot

#135

Ha-min looked back several times, worried they might follow, but each time he turned, there was no sign of them. After passing through the corridor and the chaotic stage, Ha-min finally caught his breath. It felt like his blocked airways were finally clearing up.

As soon as he left the building, Ha-min felt an intense thirst and headed to a nearby convenience store to buy water. Only after downing the entire 500ml bottle did he quench his thirst. After relieving his thirst and getting some fresh air, his mind and vision cleared as if returning to reality.

Ha-min slumped onto a chair in front of the convenience store, took a deep breath, and covered his eyes with his arm. He didn’t want to cry over this. Even if it was regret from the past few years, he absolutely didn’t want to shed tears.

After barely holding back the sighs that were welling up, he suddenly felt an overwhelming desire to see him. Feeling a piercing longing, as if it would be too hard if he didn’t see him now, Ha-min took out the phone from his jacket’s inner pocket.

He swiped away the photos of scars that were open and called him. But the call didn’t go through. Just like before he went in, only the automated message saying the phone was turned off could be heard. Ha-min turned off the screen with a dejected face. He must be busy… Ha-min couldn’t hide his disappointment as he slowly got up.

Instead of going straight home, Ha-min felt like getting a bit drunk for some reason and had a light drink alone at a restaurant in front of his house. He felt both relieved and complicated, and thought he might need a drink to fall asleep.

He didn’t think they would tremble just because of that. But he wanted to show them that if they messed with him, they would be the ones making trouble for themselves. It wasn’t for grand revenge or to pour out resentment. It was really just to tell them never, ever to interfere with his life again. He wanted them to be strangers to each other, people who didn’t know each other. That was his only purpose.

Not knowing what might happen, he had contacted Tae-in beforehand before going in. When he checked his phone after coming out, there were dozens of calls and messages from Tae-in. They were blaming him, saying he should have gone together. Ha-min only sent one reply saying he was fine. It was nothing. He wanted to dismiss it as nothing now.

After emptying about a bottle of soju on an empty stomach, Ha-min left and slowly walked to the front of the villa. He had conflicting feelings of wanting to get home quickly to rest, but also not wanting to go. He felt lonely knowing that hyung wouldn’t be there anyway.

“Should I not go…”

Ha-min looked up at the building and muttered softly. Just as he was considering going to his mother’s place due to his unsettled feelings, he felt a presence right behind him.

“You should go home.”

The familiar voice and scent felt overwhelming. Ha-min turned around without hesitation.

“Hyung…?”

“I’m back.”

He was supposed to arrive four days later. It was supposed to be four days later…

“Why so early…”

“I said I’d come back early, didn’t I?”

At that soft voice, Ha-min just blinked as if in a trance. Thinking he might be drunk, he tapped his own face, but Tae-rim stopped his hand as if telling him not to.

“Did you drink?”

“Huh? …Yeah.”

“Alone?”

“Ah… yes.”

“You don’t seem to like it much.”

“…”

“Didn’t you miss me?”

He said playfully with a mischievous smile. Ha-min finally snapped out of his daze and hurried to speak.

“No, I like it.”

“Really?”

“…Yeah. Really.”

Especially today.

“Then give me a hug.”

Tae-rim spread his arms, acting childishly in a way that didn’t suit him. Normally, this would be out of the question outside. Being the type to care a lot about people’s eyes, Ha-min would be terrified of physical affection in public. But this time was different. Regardless of others’ gazes or anything else, he was the one who wanted to see him more than anyone, and wanted to embrace him.

Ha-min hugged Tae-rim without hesitation. Due to their height difference, even when hugging, his head only reached around Tae-rim’s shoulder, but it didn’t matter how it looked. Ha-min was grateful for everything just by having hyung in front of him now.

“You really must have missed me.”

“…Yeah.”

“It was worth finishing work early and coming back.”

Tae-rim smiled gently as he embraced Ha-min. Ha-min just stayed in Tae-rim’s arms without saying anything, hiding his face in his chest. He took a deep breath, like someone regaining their composure. As if comforting Ha-min, Tae-rim gently stroked his back and briefly kissed the top of his round head. Tae-rim, hugging Ha-min tightly as he remained motionless in his arms, swallowed a bitter sigh and spoke again.

“Hyung.”

Ha-min, nestled in his arms, called him softly. He answered without letting Ha-min out of his embrace.

“Yes.”

At that calm voice, Ha-min unconsciously tightened his arms around Tae-rim’s waist.

“Do you have something to say?”

“…”

Tae-rim asked gently as Ha-min remained silent after calling him. Ha-min, who had been burying his face in Tae-rim’s chest without speaking, shook his head.

“Don’t want to talk about it?”

At the coaxing question, Ha-min nodded slightly in his arms.

“Alright, then.”

Tae-rim accepted Ha-min’s decision without pressing further and hugged him more tightly. He pulled him closer and playfully rubbed his cheek against Ha-min’s face while bowing his head. Ha-min chuckled softly at the ticklish sensation. Feeling as if Tae-rim was trying to comfort him, Ha-min burrowed deeper into his arms, unlike his usual self.

After staying in that position for a while, Ha-min carefully pulled his face away. Then he looked up at Tae-rim, who was waiting patiently. With the person he had been longing for right in front of him, he felt his bitter and depressed mood gradually fading away.

“…It’s nothing.”

“…”

“It’s not a big deal.”

Yes, now it really wasn’t a big deal. Feeling like he had finally accomplished something he had been wishing for, he felt his heart becoming lighter. Ha-min showed a faint smile.

“There was something I had been putting off.”

“…”

“…So I feel a bit relieved now.”

Though his words lacked context, Tae-rim didn’t press for more details.

He met Ha-min’s gaze while stroking his hair as Ha-min looked up at him. He could see Ha-min’s dark eyes. Those dark eyes that didn’t question or judge seemed to become even deeper than usual. Though he couldn’t read what was inside, he could feel the warmth. They were calm eyes, different from usual, as if comforting him. It felt like there was only the two of them in the world.

After silently looking at him for a while, he softly spoke.

“…I see.”

“…”

“You’ve been through a lot.”

That was the single remark Tae-rim made after silently gazing at him. Ha-min couldn’t tell if he spoke knowing the situation or not, but he felt his heart growing even lighter. Perhaps it was what he had wanted to hear.

It felt like he was acknowledging all the years Ha-min had struggled and endured to become a new person. It felt like he was comforting the useless and pathetic self who had only received help from others while trying to do better. Ha-min felt his eyes growing hot and hid his face in Tae-rim’s chest again.

Soon after, he felt Tae-rim’s hand patting his back. Lightly, very slowly.

“…You did well.”

It felt like everything was finally coming to a close.

The past that remained as scars, the years spent running away, the feelings he had ignored – all of it, here, by his side.

Ha-min just hugged him tightly without a word. Today, he realized it acutely.

Ah, he was glad to be alive. He deeply understood that all the things he had dreamed of and wished for were things that could only be experienced by being alive.

Smack, smack.

The sound of kissing could be heard even before the front door closed. Tae-rim held Ha-min’s embarrassed-looking face and kissed various parts of it. He naturally pushed Ha-min against the wall and briefly kissed his cheeks, the bridge of his nose, chin, and lips.

Ha-min shyly lowered his head and tried to avoid it slightly. But Tae-rim followed and kissed Ha-min’s jawline again with little pecks. Under the constant shower of kisses, Ha-min pushed him away slightly, looking embarrassed as if he didn’t know what to do with himself.

“Should I stop?”

Tae-rim whispered to Ha-min, who kept avoiding. Ha-min hesitated, then slowly shook his head.

“Let me do it today.”

“…”

“I’ve been dying all this time.”

At his uncharacteristic whining, Ha-min nodded with a small laugh. He was just shy, not really wanting to avoid it. Ha-min nodded and wrapped his arms around Tae-rim’s neck.

There was a time when he couldn’t even look at Tae-rim, but lately he would boldly initiate kisses and embrace him like this. Tae-rim smiled happily as he slowly unbuttoned Ha-min’s shirt. The kisses didn’t stop. As he kissed Ha-min’s temple, cheek, philtrum, and corner of his mouth, he spoke.

“Did you eat well while I was gone?”

Even as he asked, he kept pecking, so Ha-min couldn’t answer and just nodded.

“Did you sleep well?”

With each question, another button came undone. These were everyday questions that he asked out of habit. Ha-min smiled faintly and nodded again.

“What about you, hyung?”

Ha-min felt his breathing quicken as the atmosphere heated up. As he looked at him intently while slightly panting, Tae-rim stopped his actions and met his gaze. Those eyes like the deep sea, which he had always found unreadable, came into view. But not anymore. Even if he couldn’t read them, at least he could feel them. He no longer doubted that those eyes were looking at him with desire.