Sweet Shot

#133

However, he never dreamed that the labels from his past would stick to him like this. He thought that even if he accidentally ran into them, they wouldn’t recognize him and would just pass by, or maybe they’d pretend not to know him out of a shred of guilt.

The conclusion was neither. It meant that no matter how much you avoid or change, the past can always catch up to you.

That’s why he had decided. To stop running away.

Perhaps, he thought, this was something he needed to face at least once. The reason he had always been ashamed of the scars on his wrist was, more than anything, because he was embarrassed about running away from them. Whenever he saw those scars, he felt like he was facing his pathetic self.

He felt that he needed to face them at least once, to live without running away, so that he could quietly confront both the scars on his wrist and the past. This thought had started to become clear to him recently.

He had made friends, Tae-in was always there to support him, and above all, he was with someone who seemed like a dream. Because of them, the layers of fear that had been wrapped in fog began to peel away one by one, revealing themselves boldly. He wanted to properly face the fear and weakness that he had only wanted to keep hidden.

But it wasn’t easy. Just seeing the mocking messages made his heart race, and his palms became sweaty with tension. But he had made up his mind. He even created a social media account for this purpose. Running away again would only leave him with self-loathing.

[Hey, are you ignoring me? Do you want to die?]

Ha-min, snapping back to reality at the vibration in his hand, checked the message that had already resorted to cursing. Ha-min calmed his pounding heart and calmly pressed the keypad.

[Why did you contact me?]

[Why?]

[Your way of speaking is a bit rude?]

Ha-min let out a dry laugh at the nitpicking response. It was a laugh that came out involuntarily because it was so familiar.

[Anyway, we’re having a class reunion this weekend, so come.]

The word “class reunion” felt strange. Of course, he had never been to one since he didn’t have a single friend.

[Everyone’s saying you’ve become successful, so they’re curious.]

[Don’t think about ignoring us. If you don’t come, we’ll come find you.]

The tone was still condescending towards him. A tone that implied he dared not disobey their orders. Ha-min stared coldly at the screen and pondered for a moment. Just then, the cafe manager, who was taking promotional photos, quietly approached and asked.

“You don’t look well. What’s wrong?”

He seemed quite surprised by Ha-min’s unusually cold expression. There was also concern that he might be sick. Ha-min hesitated for a moment before carefully speaking.

“Um, manager.”

“Yes, what is it? Are you sick?”

“No, it’s not that… Could I take this weekend off?”

“This weekend? Just a moment.”

The manager checked the schedule on his phone. After thinking for a moment, he nodded.

“Well, alright. Since you sometimes work overtime, I’ll give you this weekend off.”

“Thank you, I’ll work extra next time.”

“Sure, and if we’re ever short-staffed, help out once, okay?”

The manager patted Ha-min’s shoulder gently and granted his request without further questions. As soon as the conversation ended, Ha-min immediately typed his reply in the DM input box.

[Okay, let me know the time and place.]

Ha-min’s fingertips were trembling slightly as he sent the reply, but his expression looked more determined than ever.

Ha-min stood in front of the class reunion venue, dressed neatly. He definitely wasn’t here to enjoy himself. Even until just before, he had debated hundreds of times whether to come or not, and his trembling fingertips from before he left still hadn’t stopped.

Before entering, he tried to call Tae-rim, but the call didn’t go through. Only the automated message saying the phone was turned off came through, making him feel even more uneasy.

Should I turn back now? Why am I doing this now? You’re good at running away, aren’t you? Why are you trying to face those bastards for nothing good? Countless thoughts wouldn’t leave his mind, but he felt he had to come. Another thing he realized from seeing the comments was that even if there were passing encounters, there would surely be a day when he would face them. Should he avoid them like a criminal then too?

“Hey, are you Song Ha-min?”

Three or four men smoking nearby approached Ha-min, who was standing in front of the building, acting like they recognized him. They looked him up and down as they approached, but Ha-min could only recognize one of them.

“Damn, they said you became a different person, but it’s true? Can’t even recognize you?”

It was one of the group that used to bully him. Ha-min couldn’t even force a smile as usual when the man casually put his arm on his shoulder as if meeting an old friend. With his swaggering attitude and rough way of speaking, nothing seemed to have changed, making the bullying feel like it had happened just yesterday.

“Wow, shit, you’ve been living well, huh?”

“…”

“Hey, let’s go in first. There are a lot of guys who want to see you, you know?”

He giggled as if finding Ha-min hilarious and pulled him in randomly. The strong smell of alcohol stung his nose, making him frown involuntarily. It made him wonder if this was really a wholesome class reunion, but it didn’t seem like it at all.

The place one of the group led him to was inside a club with loud, pounding music. As soon as they entered, the smell of stale cigarettes and the ear-splitting music made it hard to breathe, but they seemed used to it. They headed towards the inner corridor visible across the stage as if it was natural.

It seemed to be a place not just anyone could enter, with large, suited guards standing in front. The guards immediately made way when they saw the group. As they entered the corridor, there were numerous doors that seemed to lead to private rooms, and they headed for the innermost room.

“Hey, look who’s here!”

The one who had dragged Ha-min here roughly pulled him and pushed him towards the table. Ha-min stumbled, nearly falling, but managed to steady himself by grabbing the table.

“Do you guys remember? This is Song Ha-min, our little…”

The guy who brought him in happily waved his pinky finger in a vulgar gesture.

“I heard he was coming, but he really came?”

Looking inside the room, it indeed didn’t seem like a wholesome class reunion. It wasn’t the whole class, but only a small number of guys, and those few were only the ones known for being troublemakers at school.

Many of them already seemed quite drunk, with half-lidded eyes, and the smell wasn’t just cigarettes but a musty odor that was headache-inducing. It was an ugly scene of people steeped in drinking and debauchery. Except for their clothes and the venue, they looked exactly the same as back then.

“What, it really is him? Wow.”

Then one guy sitting at the head of the U-shaped table stood up abruptly.

“Wow, I really thought it couldn’t be, even as I was looking at you. I thought you were a ghost.”

“…”

“Why aren’t you dead?”

He knew intuitively. This was the one who left that comment. He had already expected it. He was the one who had bullied him most severely during their three years of school. On graduation day, he was the one who suggested burning him with cigarettes as a parting gift.

“Hey, hey, why are you saying such unpleasant things as soon as you see him? Hey, pig. Sit down first.”

The guy who had brought Ha-min here grabbed his wrist and forced him to sit. Ha-min hadn’t said a single word until then. Amidst the foul smell and nasty words being exchanged, his hands trembled several times, and his heart sank repeatedly. He desperately wanted to run away right then, but the more he listened to their vile conversations, the calmer he felt, paradoxically.

“You disappeared without any loyalty, you know. Do you know how much we missed you?”

Ha-min let out a faint laugh as they handed him a drink glass with a sly smile. Missed him… What an unfortunate choice of words. Then the guy who had been sitting at the head of the table sat across from Ha-min, placing his rear on the table.

“No, I really thought you were dead, you know?”

“Hey, hey, let’s get him drunk first before we start. Hey, don’t we have any of that good stuff? You know, the one that makes you go ‘poof’, didn’t you get some a few days ago?”

“I heard you even do internet broadcasts now that you’ve lost some weight?”

They all seemed eager to speak, as if they were truly glad to see him. Even though Ha-min hadn’t said a word, they were busy saying whatever they wanted.

Some looked him up and down as if finding his appearance curious, laughing as if they couldn’t believe it, while others poured brandy into his glass, insisting he should drink first. And the guy who had left the comment patted Ha-min’s chin, smiling as if he was truly glad to see him.

“Did you miss us?”

His grinning mouth looked chilling. Ha-min felt his mouth go dry, but he tried his best to stay alert.

“I really thought you were dead~.”

After graduation, there wasn’t a single person at that school who didn’t know about his suicide attempt. His mother had stormed into the school and turned it upside down. She barged into the teachers’ office, overturned desks, and slapped the homeroom teacher. She even grabbed the principal’s hair when he came to quell the disturbance.

Thanks to his mother making a big fuss, their misdeeds came to light, but the school had no punishment to give them. It was already after graduation. His mother prepared to file a formal lawsuit, but he was the one who stopped it. He didn’t have the strength for a long fight. Even then, he ran away.

“You made such a fuss about dying without actually dying, and because of you, I got on my dad’s bad side and was sent away to what’s that place, the Philippines for a while. Because of you.”