#108
Ha-min, wearing an employee vest, paused his mopping and rested his chin on the end of the long handle. His mood, which had become even more unsettled thanks to Hee-gyeom, wasn’t improving at all. He stared blankly through the convenience store window at the people bustling through Daehakro.
Standing there alone, seeing the seemingly happy people made him feel a bit lonely. He took a deep breath, looked away, and focused on mopping again. A bitter taste lingered in his mouth, making him mop more vigorously. Meanwhile, he kept glancing at the convenience store entrance, imagining Tae-rim coming in and calling out “Ha-min” affectionately. He had to distract himself from these thoughts.
Just then, the bell chimed. It was a signal that a customer had arrived.
“Welcome,” Ha-min greeted routinely, quickly putting the mop away in the storage room and hurrying to the counter. The customer approached the counter directly without browsing the shelves. Ha-min was too busy trying to hide his textbook on the counter to look at the customer.
When the customer’s shadow fell over him, Ha-min finally looked up, and the customer, who had been looking at his phone, also looked up at Ha-min.
“Ah…” Ha-min let out a small gasp, frozen in place. He couldn’t hide his surprise as he blinked his clear eyes and looked up at him. The other person seemed equally surprised, his usually indifferent eyes noticeably shaken.
“…”
“…”
A moment of silence passed. It was such a sudden encounter that they both lost their words.
“…Ah, sorry,” Tae-rim spoke first. He rubbed his forehead with a rather stiff expression. Ha-min looked at him with a perplexed face at his sudden apology.
“I didn’t know you worked here…” He trailed off uncharacteristically. Ha-min then realized that he was flustered. The first thing he said upon seeing him wasn’t a greeting or a casual “long time no see.” It was an apology that couldn’t hide his surprise.
At those words, Ha-min remembered Tae-rim’s promise not to appear before him until he contacted him. Instinctively understanding what he meant, Ha-min bit his lip, unable to respond. Why are you sorry for that…? Seeing him apologize and look flustered, so unlike his usual self, made Ha-min feel inexplicably uncomfortable, and he changed the subject.
“…Did you come to buy cigarettes?”
When Ha-min asked, forcing his voice to remain steady, Tae-rim nodded while staring at him with a hesitant gaze. Knowing what brand of cigarettes he smoked without asking, Ha-min took out the familiar pack from the display and scanned the barcode.
“…”
“…”
Ha-min glanced at the motionless Tae-rim again. When Ha-min stared blankly, Tae-rim met his gaze. He looked somewhat dazed, as if lost in thought, making Ha-min tilt his head curiously and carefully extend his hand.
“Your card…”
At Ha-min’s soft voice, Tae-rim seemed to realize that Ha-min was staring at him blankly. With a look of sudden realization, he took out his wallet from his coat, pulled out a card, and handed it to Ha-min. Ha-min deliberately looked only at Tae-rim’s hand offering the card, trying to casually hide his trembling.
“…”
“I’ve received your card…”
Ha-min muttered the habitual phrase as he tried to take the card, but the hand holding the other end of the card tightened its grip. Ha-min looked up at him again with a bewildered expression at the force resisting him. Huh… Ha-min tried to pull the card out again with more force, but he was overwhelmingly weak in comparison.
“Uh…”
You need to give me the card… Just as Ha-min was about to speak, Tae-rim opened his mouth first.
“…Have you…”
At the short phrase, Ha-min stared at him blankly, having missed the sound. Tae-rim continued.
“Have you eaten?”
The question, tinged with worry, made Ha-min feel overwhelmed again.
“Yes,” Ha-min nodded, unable to give a longer answer. He tried to pull the card out again, but the grip remained firm. Sensing that there might be more questions, Ha-min quietly waited for him to speak.
“…When do you finish?”
He seemed to have contemplated quite a bit before asking, his hesitation evident.
“Around twelve…”
Short questions continued, with moments of silence in between.
“That’s quite late.”
“…But it’s better than before…”
Although they exchanged brief, formal conversation, the uncomfortable atmosphere only grew and didn’t easily dissipate. Perhaps because of this, no more words were exchanged, and Tae-rim finally let go of the card, allowing Ha-min to complete the transaction. As Ha-min slid the card and cigarettes towards him, Tae-rim’s elegant hand covered Ha-min’s. The unfamiliar warmth of his touch made Ha-min flinch and his shoulders stiffen. Unable to even think of pulling his hand away, Ha-min looked at him with complex eyes. After hesitating again, Tae-rim met his gaze with his dark eyes.
“…How long should I wait?”
The question without a subject was tinged with an unfamiliar anxiety. At the same time, Ha-min’s eyes wavered aimlessly.
“Your call, how long should I wait for it?”
Tae-rim’s words felt like they were bursting out after being held back for a long time, his suppressed emotions clearly felt. Although he was trying to speak calmly, it didn’t seem easy for him to compose his emotions. The increasing pressure on Ha-min’s hand was evidence of this. Ha-min looked at his captured hand and then slowly shifted his gaze.
For some reason, Ha-min felt like he was truly seeing Tae-rim’s face for the first time. He looked thinner than before, his features sharper, and his slightly roughened skin clearly showed his fatigue. He really had been waiting for Ha-min, and Ha-min only now realized this fact. Before he could process this realization, Tae-rim’s restrained voice rang out again, stiff and tense.
“If I wait…”
“…”
“…Will you come?”
Ha-min’s eyes visibly wavered at the soft urging that meant more than just a call. Tae-rim’s prodding sought certainty, and at his words, Ha-min suddenly remembered seeing him in front of Tae-in’s studio.
He was certain he had seen Tae-rim watching from afar as he hugged Hee-gyeom, and perhaps because of that, an uncharacteristic anxiety flickered in Tae-rim’s dark pupils, as if he thought Ha-min’s heart might have already turned to someone else.
Ha-min didn’t even know what kind of face he was making. He was so flustered that he couldn’t speak, only managing strange, choked sounds. The gaze fixed on him was so intense, so persistent and affectionate, that it made his heart complicated.
“I…”
“I know you don’t want to see me.”
He interrupted Ha-min’s attempt to speak and continued softly.
“But I don’t really know.”
His hesitation was evident. His brow furrowed noticeably because of it.
“If I should just wait like you said…”
“…”
“Or…”
Just as he was about to utter the words he had been holding back, the bell at the entrance chimed, abruptly halting his increasingly agitated speech. It felt as if the space where only he and Ha-min had existed melted away, bringing them back to reality.
“…”
It seemed it wasn’t just Ha-min who felt this way, as the hand gripping his relaxed. Thanks to this, Ha-min’s hand, which had felt like it was about to sweat, also fell away. Tae-rim took his card and cigarette pack as if nothing had happened.
“…Hyung.”
Ha-min started to speak, feeling like he should say something to him, but a customer who had picked out a few bottles of milk stood behind Tae-rim. Realizing he had missed his chance, Ha-min lost his words again, and Tae-rim, noticing the customer’s presence, stepped aside with a polite, faint smile.
“…I’ll go.”
Even though it was just a formal farewell, Ha-min’s heart sank heavily as if a weight had been placed on it. Ha-min nodded in response instead of speaking.
He watched Tae-rim leave the convenience store, only coming back to his senses when the customer said, “Excuse me,” urging him to ring up the purchase. “I’m sorry…” Ha-min said in a hoarse voice and hurriedly completed the transaction.
**
Throughout the class, Ha-min fidgeted with his phone. Unlike his nickname as the “note-taking genius,” he was so distracted that he missed all the lecture content. When Woo-kyung, who had been dozing, asked to borrow Ha-min’s notes, Ha-min just opened and closed his mouth as if he hadn’t even thought about it.
Although all the class materials were supposedly uploaded to the school website, there were often differences from the actual lecture content, so Ha-min usually didn’t miss anything. But today, like a high school student secretly using their phone, he kept turning his screen on and off throughout the class. Even Chae-rin, unable to bear it anymore, told him, “Oppa, please stop.”
“Hyung, do you have a girlfriend?”
On the way to eat at the school cafeteria after class, Woo-kyung suddenly asked, his eyes sparkling, as he sipped his drink.
“Me…?”
Caught off guard by the sudden question, Ha-min pointed at himself with a dumbfounded expression.
“Ah, no. I don’t…”
He answered with an awkward laugh, as if feeling oddly guilty. Woo-kyung’s face brightened.
“Then, want to go on a group date?”
“A group date?”
“Yeah, I’ve got a 2:2 group date set up, but I don’t have anyone to go with. Tae-in hyung has a girlfriend, and Park Hee-gyeom said he won’t go.”
“…”
“To be honest, I didn’t want to go with you… It’s a bit unfair, you know, looks-wise.”
Woo-kyung said, twirling his finger around his face.
“It’s with girls from A Women’s University. They’re supposed to be super gorgeous. What do you think, hyung? Want to go together?”
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
