#101
Hee-jae was one of the few people who directly witnessed the incident. Of course, since it accurately pierced the shoulder, there was no danger to life, but it had effectively blown away one shoulder that used to always get hit.
The area was in an uproar due to the shooting incident, but as always, it soon quieted down again. There was nothing money couldn’t solve. It seemed they had silenced people with a huge settlement, but Hee-jae didn’t see Tae-rim for a while.
It seemed his family had imposed restrictions since he had caused such a huge accident, but not long after, he appeared as if nothing had happened and lived as usual. Enjoying light parties, meeting women, attending lectures, truly as if nothing had happened, nonchalantly.
After that incident, Tae-rim earned the nickname “crazy psycho.” Thanks to that, the number of white guys who stupidly picked fights decreased significantly. Son Hee-jae thought Lee Tae-rim was a madman, but on the other hand, it was thrilling. Being next to him gave her a sense of superiority, feeling that no one would dare disrespect her. Of course, this was a story from when they were much younger.
Hee-jae let out a faint smile at the old memories that came to mind and opened her mouth towards Tae-rim, who seemed lost in thought.
“Sa-hyun decided to close his Cheongdam shop and go to America with me.”
As she casually mentioned the recent news, Tae-rim responded indifferently.
“Are you getting married?”
“Well, he’s giving up his life in Korea too. We’ll see.”
“That’s good.”
“What about you?”
At the question, Tae-rim gave an indifferent look.
“Aren’t you going back?”
“Not yet.”
After a brief pause, Tae-rim continued.
“I’m planning to stay longer.”
“Weren’t you supposed to go back after graduation?”
“Plans changed.”
Sensing something unusual, Hee-jae narrowed her eyes and assessed the situation.
“Because of that kid?”
Tae-rim’s face visibly changed, as if she had hit the nail on the head.
“Looks like you decided to date.”
That boy Tae-rim had been showing all sorts of interest in, using the excuse of being like a younger brother. Seeing how Tae-rim took care of that boy, Hee-jae instinctively felt it. The atmosphere between them, and the changes in the usually indifferent Tae-rim’s emotions and gaze.
Tae-rim remained silent at Hee-jae’s presumptuous words. With a smile that seemed to say “I knew it,” Hee-jae stroked her chin with an amused expression.
“You said you’d never be with a man, the gay guys who used to chase after you would cry if they knew this.”
Hee-jae let out a sneer, as if teasing or mocking. She couldn’t help but feel a bit resentful towards Tae-rim, who had always insisted it would never happen.
Despite the satisfying mockery, he didn’t show much reaction and for some reason looked gloomy. He slowly finished wiping off his sweat and spoke.
“We’re not dating.”
Tae-rim’s face looked as if he had fallen into an abyss as he said those words. With the atmosphere much heavier than before, Hee-jae asked lightly with a puzzled expression.
“Why, did you get bored already?”
It would have been more than enough time for Lee Tae-rim to get bored. At the casual question, he turned his head with a somewhat displeased face and stared at Hee-jae for the first time.
“What are you so curious about?”
It was currently the most sensitive topic for him. Song Ha-min. It had been three days since Lee Tae-rim himself had declared he wouldn’t appear before that boy, and still three days without contact. He wondered if three days had ever felt this long before, but it was because of the waiting. Waiting was useless. He had never waited for anyone in the first place. He couldn’t describe this anxious and uneasy feeling, but he realized it this morning. Yes, he was yearning. Waiting for just one contact.
He hadn’t slept even ten hours in three days, so his condition couldn’t get any worse, and he was in a very confused state due to emotions he had never experienced before. That’s why he had to do something, and he had no choice but to push his body to exhaustion to stop thinking.
“Why wouldn’t I be curious? You haven’t been showing up to gatherings lately, and you even won the bid for that Cheongdam villa that came up for auction this time. The guys who were eyeing that are already spreading rumors among themselves. Saying you’re settling down.”
“Nothing better to do.”
Tae-rim clicked his tongue and let out a dry laugh.
“There are even rumors that you’re dead.”
“Tell them that. Say I got stabbed somewhere and died.”
“That’s not funny.”
The joke delivered with such a dry face was quite chilling. Hee-jae shook her head as if it was tasteless and returned to the main point.
“From the looks of it, it seems like you’re the one who’s desperate right now.”
“…”
Seeing Tae-rim’s silence, Hee-jae couldn’t hold back her laughter and let out a faint sneer. The fact that things weren’t going well meant that Lee Tae-rim’s love life wasn’t going well, which was funny in its own way. It was hard to imagine Tae-rim struggling with relationship issues, so it was interesting and at the same time, it felt like karma and was satisfying. He who had been nothing short of dominant in any relationship was now showing a subtly defeated response.
“Seems like you find it amusing.”
Tae-rim casually threw out the words at Hee-jae, who couldn’t hide her laughter. Despite it being annoying, Tae-rim’s face showed little interest. And with that, he got off the machine and turned towards the weight equipment. Following behind him, Hee-jae’s face was clearly full of mischief.
“Why, did he reject you?”
“…”
“Because you’re easy?”
Tae-rim’s eyebrow twitched at the words that hit a nerve. As he furrowed his brow and stared at Hee-jae, she shrugged with a nonchalant face.
“Why are you glaring? Did I say something wrong?”
As she blinked with a calm face, playing dumb, Tae-rim just snorted as if it was tiring to even talk to her and walked ahead.
“Everyone on the Upper East Side knew about your dick size.”
As Tae-rim, who had settled on the weight equipment, looked at her with furrowed brows, she met his gaze with a prim face. Seeing Hee-jae’s appearance, with no sign of backing down and her interest at its peak, Tae-rim let out a sound like a sigh.
“I’m not in the mood to joke around with you.”
“Since when did you become so humorless, Mr. Lee Tae-rim? Can’t even laugh at a joke.”
“…Leave.”
Tae-rim coldly rebuked and turned his gaze away, adjusting the weight. Tae-rim was so lost in thought that even conversations he would normally laugh off and retort to were troubling him, and he had no room for leisure. Even though the talk about his messy past was nothing worth mentioning, it irritated him and made him even more troubled, causing his head to throb. Above all, he was most troubled by the fact that, as Son Hee-jae said, he couldn’t even laugh at a joke. All, all… he had only one thought.
Tae-rim rubbed his face, which was clearly full of complicated emotions, and let out a long sigh. Noticing the unusual atmosphere, Hee-jae, who had been smirking, slightly observed his complexion.
“You look like you haven’t slept.”
Until they parted ways, Hee-jae was the one who had seen Tae-rim the most and for the longest time. It was no big deal for her to notice his haggard appearance. Certain that something must have happened to make him unable to sleep, Hee-jae leaned slightly against the machine and said in a voice that had completely shed its playfulness.
“Did you really get rejected?”
Seeing his reaction, Hee-jae couldn’t hide her surprise as the words she had jokingly said seemed to be proving true. Being rejected was one thing, but Lee Tae-rim unable to sleep because of it? The Lee Tae-rim she knew was someone who showed no particular emotion even on the day his grandfather passed away. On the day of his grandfather’s funeral, Tae-rim shamelessly pretended to be sad during the day and spent the night partying and playing poker.
Under Hee-jae’s gaze, which was looking at him as if he were a weirdo, Tae-rim looked at her with a tired face instead of his previously sharp demeanor. Seeing him hesitate without being able to answer, Hee-jae let out a small sigh.
“What on earth did you do to get rejected?”
Tae-rim rubbed his face and muttered in a low voice that sounded like thick smoke.
“…I don’t know if I was rejected.”
“…”
“Or if he just can’t stand the sight of me.”
Tae-rim really couldn’t understand. These current emotions, Ha-min’s thoughts, this stagnant relationship, Tae-rim couldn’t understand any of it.
The beginning was interest, and then it was a strange desire for exclusivity.
It was the emotion he felt towards Song Ha-min, who had suddenly become an adult.
That child who used to be so young was a pure and clear existence in his memory, whiter than a blank sheet of paper. It wasn’t the common innocence that children possess, but a transparency that only Song Ha-min had. Tae-rim found himself unconsciously following with his eyes that transparency, which seemed to exist in a different world from his own.
Perhaps that’s why, even after leaving Korea and living in New York, occasionally, once in a while, he would think of him. How is he doing? How has he grown…? Just such obvious and trivial greetings. So he asked Tae-in, who contacted him a couple of times a month, about Ha-min’s well-being a few times. At first, Tae-in would tell him everything in detail, but as he got busy with treatment and preoccupied with surgery and rehabilitation, there was no separate occasion to ask.
Just when he thought he too might be forgetting, Ha-min would suddenly come to mind once in a while. When he sometimes felt like his brain was rusting from living dissolutely, really occasionally, Ha-min would suddenly appear like a mirage. One day, Tae-rim realized something about this habit of regularly thinking of him. He realized that he wanted to see that boy.
He wanted to have a normal conversation, asking how he was doing and how he had been all this time. When he realized this, Tae-in had lost contact with Ha-min so he couldn’t get his contact information, and by the time he thought about looking into it personally, it was time for him to return to Korea, so he decided to find out directly when he got back.
The child he purely wanted to see, who was like a younger brother. That chubby, bright, and kind child. Thinking about this during the flight, he even felt a kind of excitement. Feeling this way about himself, he thought that child was definitely special to him. He wanted to treat him well and take care of him when he saw him again, as he made him do things he normally wouldn’t do.
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
