He tried to focus his mind. If he let his guard down, the guiding might be interrupted.
Of course, the guiding was going very well, just as he thought it would. Every time Cha Jae-woo moved his hands to the point of distraction, and every time he shivered, strangely enough, the mana became clearer, and Cha Jae-woo’s irregular waves grew fainter.
Now, he didn’t have to struggle to move the mana around; it seemed as if it was naturally unraveling the mass inside Cha Jae-woo on its own.
By the way, it had really shrunk. Now it wasn’t even a third of the size it was when he first saw it. He felt a quiet sense of pride—.
“Ugh….”
Perhaps as a punishment for letting his mind wander while he should have been focusing on guiding, he felt a chill run down his spine as a hand brushed down his back. Unsure of what to do, his body trembled, and his breath grew ragged.
Should he push the hand away, or just let it be? He couldn’t decide. Every hot breath he exhaled was embarrassing, but the more flustered he became, the smoother the guiding went, making his choice all the more difficult.
The mana, now beyond his control, flowed smoothly through Cha Jae-woo’s body. He ended up saying nothing. He had no excuse to stop Cha Jae-woo’s hand.
“Ha….”
Cha Jae-woo’s hot breath scattered over his head. He bit his lip, half-holding his breath.
“You’re an adult.”
Then, Cha Jae-woo muttered something incomprehensible, accompanied by a soft laugh.
He soon understood why. The hand that had moved downwards gently stirred, reminding him of the situation below. Embarrassed, he tensed his legs, but it didn’t help.
“This is, well, it’s just a physiological…!”
How high could his temperature rise? Was it okay for his heart to beat this fast? It felt like his heart was racing more than it would if he were running.
He felt his rapid heartbeat throughout his body as he tried to explain himself. But Cha Jae-woo, with a too-gentle voice, didn’t listen to his excuses.
“Keep going.”
Cha Jae-woo reacted as if it were no big deal. Instead, he felt foolish for raising his voice.
But was this really okay? He felt uneasy. They were dating, but suddenly getting excited while guiding seemed a bit inappropriate.
Eventually, he opened his eyes, which he had kept tightly shut. Usually, he kept his eyes closed to check the flow of mana, but right now, he needed to see Cha Jae-woo’s expression more urgently.
Besides, he felt like he didn’t need to keep watching. Even with his eyes open, he could still vividly feel the movement of the mana.
Soon, his eyes met Cha Jae-woo’s. Those usually sharp eyes were now softly curved, gazing at him. In that moment, his anxiety melted away. Cha Jae-woo’s eyes told him he was not strange.
“Ah… wait.”
But his relief was short-lived. As if waiting for their eyes to meet, Cha Jae-woo, who had been lightly pressing his hand against him, slowly slipped his hand beneath his bothersome clothes.
Caught off guard, he urgently called out to Cha Jae-woo, but he didn’t stop. The unfamiliar sensation of the hand exploring inside made him turn his head away, and he quickly shut his eyes again, unable to watch.
Ah, this wasn’t right.
Cha Jae-woo’s overwhelming touch made his mind go blank. The strange thing was, he didn’t want to refuse Cha Jae-woo’s touch.
Was it because he was guiding? Was that why he felt this urge to let it happen? Otherwise, he wouldn’t feel the impulse to beg for more.
A deep breath escaped through his clenched teeth. Unsure of what to do, he shook his head and then buried his face in Cha Jae-woo’s shoulder. His body swelled and subsided repeatedly. Cha Jae-woo moved slowly at times and quickly at others, stimulating him.
Was this what it felt like to lose his senses?
He clung to Cha Jae-woo as if encouraging him. It was as if another part of him was whispering to do so.
* * *
When the guiding finally ended.
He couldn’t move a finger. Although he hadn’t lost his strength, an overwhelming sense of exhaustion clouded his mind.
Cha Jae-woo washed his hands and returned to embrace him, gently patting his back. Cradled in his arms, he couldn’t think of anything. He just felt sleepy, wanting to drift off right away.
So, he tried to sleep. The question he had been determined to ask just moments ago had slipped his mind, overwhelmed by fatigue.
“You said you had a question.”
Fortunately, Cha Jae-woo’s words brought him back to his senses, allowing him to open his eyes. He wasn’t fully alert, but at least he wasn’t about to pass out.
He nodded slightly and looked at Cha Jae-woo, intending to speak to him face-to-face. But as soon as their eyes met, he looked away. Just moments ago, he had forgotten his embarrassment in his exhaustion, but seeing Cha Jae-woo’s face brought it all rushing back.
“I do have one…” he muttered, his voice barely above a whisper.
“What is it?” Cha Jae-woo asked, smiling. He seemed to have noticed why he had looked away and why his voice was so soft.
He sighed deeply. Earlier, he had been determined to ask about everything, but now he felt awkward. Just looking at Cha Jae-woo made him blush, let alone having a conversation.
He even wondered if Cha Jae-woo had planned the guiding to make him feel this way. He just wanted to hide. He wished Cha Jae-woo would go to his room and leave him alone. His heart raced just being near him!
At first, he had been too dazed to think, but as time passed, embarrassment washed over him. What had he just done with Cha Jae-woo? What had happened? It was too late to ask now.
“You did the guiding first on purpose, didn’t you…”
A question unrelated to Lee Ju-yeon slipped out first. It was what he was most curious about at the moment. Of course, he already knew the answer.
“No. The guiding was urgent.”
“…Your hands were moving quite a bit. You don’t usually do that when guiding is urgent.”
His words were sullen, but he knew they weren’t true.
Lately, Cha Jae-woo had been moving his hands a lot during guiding. Of course, they had never gone this far before. He had crossed a line he shouldn’t have!
“Did you hate it?”
He thought, Not this question. At least, not until Cha Jae-woo asked if he hated it. He flinched and moved his lips silently.
“It’s not that I hated it… it’s just, it felt like we were going too fast…”
If he had hated it, he wouldn’t have reacted that way in the first place. Asking if he hated it felt unfair. He just wanted to say it felt too rushed.
But on second thought, he decided not to say that. Truthfully, he didn’t hate it; he liked it. It was embarrassing, but if Cha Jae-woo reached out again, he would willingly accept his touch.
So, he couldn’t say he hated it. If he did, Cha Jae-woo might distance himself again, like last time. People never seemed to find a middle ground.
“…I liked it.”
After much internal debate, he admitted the truth. Honestly, it felt so good he thought he might go crazy. How could he resist the passionate touch of someone he liked?
Cha Jae-woo smiled, and he quickly looked away, hiding his gaze. Despite his enjoyment, he felt overwhelmingly embarrassed.
Why was Cha Jae-woo so calm?
He felt a pang of unfairness but kept it to himself. The reason was obvious, and he didn’t want to think about it.
Suddenly, Cha Jae-woo pulled him close. Before he could react—
“Check it out. See how the waves are now.”
Cha Jae-woo explained.
“Is it better than usual?”
He only insisted on checking when the guiding had gone exceptionally well or terribly wrong. Since he had seen the mana flowing properly, it was likely the former.
He quickly reached out and wrapped his arms around Cha Jae-woo’s waist. He was grateful that Cha Jae-woo had reminded him to check, as he hadn’t done so at the end.
“Uh…”
Cha Jae-woo’s condition was easy to confirm. What used to take time now took only seconds.
He saw that Cha Jae-woo’s condition had significantly improved, and a proud smile spread across his face.
“It went well, right?”
“Being closer helped.”
Cha Jae-woo replied immediately, as if that had been his point all along.
He was speechless for a moment. He cleared his throat and shook his head.
“Yeah, well…”
He couldn’t deny it. Did that mean they would do this every time from now on? Ugh, that would be so embarrassing. But maybe not entirely bad…
“Oh, right.”
A brief but intense period of contemplation followed, but it proved fruitless. However, it reminded him of a more pressing issue. He recalled Lee Ju-yeon’s words about each guide having unique characteristics.
“Cha Jae-woo.”
“Yeah?”
“Earlier, Lee Ju-yeon mentioned something.”
“What was it?”
“He said every guide has their own unique characteristics. He already suspected that I have the ability to guide you sufficiently, regardless of the amount of mana. He thinks that’s my special trait.”
“Is that so?”
Cha Jae-woo responded indifferently. He had been quite worried that Lee Ju-yeon might know everything, but Cha Jae-woo’s nonchalant reaction puzzled him. Cha Jae-woo spoke up.
“Did he say he thought that was the case?”
“No? I denied it.”
“Well, he said talking to you made him more certain.”
“What?!”
He was so shocked that his voice cracked. He shook his head vigorously in denial.
“No way. I told him I didn’t know anything! I said that was a huge leap!”
“Really? I thought you got caught because you can’t lie.”
“No! I didn’t give anything away!”
“Alright.”
His desperate denials seemed to convince Cha Jae-woo, who nodded. Cha Jae-woo had probably thought he had been found out.
He wondered if Lee Ju-yeon had been testing Cha Jae-woo as well. It seemed like a reasonable suspicion.
Or maybe not. Could he have slipped up during his conversation with Lee Ju-yeon? If he had fallen for Lee Ju-yeon’s probing, it would be his fault. He had vehemently denied it, but if he had given something away, what then?
A flurry of thoughts raced through his mind.
“If, um, if I did get found out… it wasn’t on purpose…”
He hesitated before cautiously speaking to Cha Jae-woo. He wanted to believe he hadn’t been caught, but he knew he wasn’t great at lying, so there was a chance. If so, he needed to lay some groundwork.
“Ha.”
He found himself amusing, so he understood why Cha Jae-woo chuckled.
Cha Jae-woo pressed the back of his head and said,
“It’s fine. It doesn’t matter if he knows or not.”
He said it casually, as if it truly didn’t matter. Did he really mean that? Or did he trust Lee Ju-yeon?
“If you suddenly died, no one would know. The association would just think you died from exhaustion, unable to control your powers.”
He quickly realized he was wrong. Cha Jae-woo was saying that if Lee Ju-yeon found out, he could just kill him, in a completely calm voice.
“Cha Jae-woo!”
He was so shocked that his voice rose sharply. He looked up, meeting Cha Jae-woo’s gaze. Cha Jae-woo raised an eyebrow.
“It was a joke.”
It didn’t sound like a joke at all. Cha Jae-woo was serious, and he knew it.
Would he also meet such an end if he ever displeased Cha Jae-woo?
It was a ridiculous thought, but it seemed plausible in the moment. He clenched his fists and said resolutely,
“I’ll do better. If there’s anything you don’t like, just tell me…”
Cha Jae-woo frowned immediately. Before he could explain, Cha Jae-woo spoke first.
“Be specific.”
“Huh?”
“What exactly are you going to do better?”
He hadn’t expected that question and was at a loss for words. The only thing he could do better was guiding. And doing his best at guiding should be enough, right?
“I’ll… work harder at guiding.”
Cha Jae-woo tilted his head. He thought that would be the end of it, but Cha Jae-woo shook his head.
“That’s a given. Anything else?”
“Uh… anything else?”
“Not as a guide, but as a partner. Anything you can do better in that role?”
His mind raced, and the phrase “as a partner” struck a chord. Partner. Cha Jae-woo had said it, and it made his heart flutter every time.
What could he do better as a partner? He had no experience to draw from.
“Ah.”
He thought long and hard. Then, a sudden realization made him sigh. He thought he knew what Cha Jae-woo would like.
“Then I’ll do this for you too…”
His hand slowly moved towards Cha Jae-woo’s lower body.
After all, Cha Jae-woo used to do this all the time, but now he couldn’t at all. And now, he couldn’t do it without him. So, he wanted to return the favor and make Cha Jae-woo feel good, just like Cha Jae-woo had done for him.
Honestly, it was a desperate thought, born out of the pressure to come up with something—anything. He would never have considered it if he were in his right mind.
“How bold.”
He only realized what he was doing when he heard Cha Jae-woo’s voice.
His hand, which had naturally moved downwards, jerked up in surprise. What was he thinking? Panic and embarrassment washed over him. Wow, I must be crazy. I’ve lost my mind!
“No, no, this isn’t right—”
“Why not? Do it. It hurts to hold back.”
But Cha Jae-woo grabbed his arm. He guided his hand downwards. He couldn’t say anything, just followed Cha Jae-woo’s lead.
His heart pounded wildly. As his hand made contact, he felt a rush of heat. The sensation of skin against his fingers made his mind go blank.
Eventually, he buried his face in Cha Jae-woo’s chest again. Cha Jae-woo didn’t complain about his clumsy movements.
