This is not acceptable! Even so, staying out overnight is a bit much! I can understand if he didn’t know it was my birthday, but staying out on Christmas Eve is just unacceptable! Even if work is busy, why does it have to be today of all days?
Lately, I’ve been leaving everything up to Cha Jae-woo, and as soon as I received his message, I was furious. He said he would come home early! He should come home today, of all days!
Anyway, I called him right after receiving the message. I was biting my lip in frustration!
─Yeah.
But as soon as Cha Jae-woo answered the phone, my fiery combativeness vanished instantly. He sounded a bit tired, and the noise around him made it seem like he was genuinely busy.
At that moment, I thought that Cha Jae-woo might have completely forgotten about Christmas. Or maybe he just doesn’t care about such days.
If that’s the case, is it right for me to complain about him staying out on a day like today? Definitely not. I lost my confidence in an instant.
“Ah, I’m sorry. You must be busy right now…….”
─It’s fine. Go ahead.
The noise around him was so loud that I wanted to hold the phone away from my ear. I could hear sounds of something breaking and things clashing.
I felt the urgent need to end the call quickly. I didn’t know what Cha Jae-woo was doing, but it was clear that it wasn’t something I should be involved in.
“I was just wondering if you absolutely couldn’t come home.”
I awkwardly laughed and made an excuse to Cha Jae-woo. He didn’t laugh. Instead, the noise seemed to fade as he moved somewhere else.
─Can’t you sleep alone now?
A strange question came back. Simultaneously, I felt a rush of heat all over my body.
“Ah, that’s not what I meant……!”
I tried to explain immediately. But Cha Jae-woo, or rather someone on the other end of the line, shouted and interrupted me.
─Esper Cha Jae-woo! What is this─!
─I have to go. See you tomorrow.
The call ended abruptly.
I stared blankly at the phone, feeling a mix of emotions. The embarrassment from his teasing remark quickly faded, replaced by a sense of unease. Something felt off.
The voice that called Cha Jae-woo sounded familiar. If my hunch was right, it was definitely… Jang Gijun, the Association President.
‘It can’t be…….’
Jang Gijun’s voice, still fresh in my mind, sounded strangely terrified.
But I must have been mistaken. It couldn’t have been Jang Gijun, and even if it was, he had no reason to be afraid. They must have had some disagreement.
I put down the phone, trying to make sense of it all. Either way, Cha Jae-woo was busy, and it was clear he wouldn’t be coming home tonight.
As I accepted this, I felt a pang of disappointment. It was only around 6 PM, and the thought of spending the evening alone felt unbearable. The anticipation made the loneliness even more pronounced.
“Hey, Tto-yul. Did you get stood up on your date tonight?”
That’s how I ended up here. I wasn’t sure if I should be grateful or not to have friends who were also free on a night like this.
I bit my lip, stung by Jo Ha-eon’s thoughtless remark. I couldn’t admit that I was in a relationship, so I had no comeback.
“You’re one to talk. Didn’t you have another blind date? Did you get rejected? Is that why you’re here?”
So, I turned the tables on Jo Ha-eon. As expected, he reacted strongly, just as I had hoped.
“Hey, that’s not true! I always keep my schedule open on Christmas Eve to celebrate your birthday, you know!”
“Yeah, right. You ditched me last year because you had a girlfriend, remember?”
“……Uh, did I?”
“Hey, who stretched out Jo Ha-eon’s lips with a clothespin? Why is he pouting like that?”
“Tell me about it.”
“How can you say that to Haeyul?”
“Did they cut your tongue too?”
“Ugh.”
Kim Geon-ung and Park Yeon-ho simultaneously threw the snacks they were eating at Jo Ha-eon. However, Jo Ha-eon proved his eccentricity by catching and eating every snack that flew his way. The others shook their heads in disbelief.
“But really, why does our Tto-yul look so down? Huh? It’s your birthday, cheer up!”
Ignoring the commotion, Jo Ha-eon, who was feeling proud of himself for catching all the snacks, started pestering me again. For some reason, he was particularly interested in me today. I pushed his forehead away, not hiding my annoyance at his sudden intrusion.
“I’m fine. Don’t exaggerate.”
“Really? I don’t think so. Tto-yul, you look like you have no energy at all.”
Jo Ha-eon started playing around, lifting my arm and then dropping it.
Since I wasn’t resisting, my arm fell limply, making him laugh even more. He looked like he was out of his mind, even though he hadn’t drunk much. Anyone could see that Jo Ha-eon was the most intoxicated among us.
“Do you want to get beaten up until you pass out?”
I finally gave in and decided to play along with his antics. At least his nonsense was keeping my mind off other things, so I figured I’d humor him as a form of compensation.
“Huh? You think you can take me down, Tto-yul?”
“…….”
“Fine! Since it’s your birthday, I’ll pretend to die for you! Come on, kill me!”
For a moment, I wondered if I should actually do it. Without hesitation, I clenched my fist and aimed straight for Jo Ha-eon’s solar plexus.
“Hey! Aren’t you going to stop him? Tto-yul is trying to kill me!”
But the cunning Jo Ha-eon had no intention of letting me hit him. He quickly shielded himself and hid behind Park Yeon-ho.
It was a ridiculous sight. Jo Ha-eon was the tallest among us, and hiding behind the smallest, Park Yeon-ho, made him look even more foolish. He was exaggeratedly shaking and grinning at me.
“Ugh, you’re so annoying.”
“I totally get it, man.”
Park Yeon-ho agreed with my genuine outburst. He then pushed Jo Ha-eon away and smacked him hard on the back. It was a satisfying sight.
I laughed as Jo Ha-eon winced with each hit. Although I kept glancing at my phone, at least I wasn’t as preoccupied with thoughts of Cha Jae-woo as I would have been if I were home alone.
* * *
The gathering didn’t last long. Usually, these things would go on until dawn, and we’d wake up late the next afternoon. But tonight, it was almost midnight, which wasn’t particularly early.
At first, I thought about crashing at Kim Geon-ung’s place. Since Cha Jae-woo wasn’t coming home, I figured there was no point in going back to an empty house.
But as the night wore on, I found myself increasingly eager to go home. Whether Cha Jae-woo was there or not, I just wanted to be in his space.
So, I left the others to their drinking and made my way back home. They were still chatting in the group chat, but I didn’t pay much attention. All I cared about was getting home safely.
“You’re back?”
“Uh… What? Cha Jae-woo! Is that you?”
Suddenly, the blurry sight of the front door became irrelevant. It swung open, and there stood Cha Jae-woo.
He said he wouldn’t be coming home! Was this a hallucination? Or was I dreaming? All sorts of thoughts raced through my mind, but the strongest urge was to hug him tightly.
So, I wrapped my arms around his waist. It felt too real to be a hallucination or a dream, which made it even better. I looked up at him, grinning from ear to ear. Even though I was tipsy, his face was surprisingly clear.
“I missed you so much…!”
I couldn’t contain my excitement. I had missed him so much, even though it had only been a few hours. I must be crazy.
“But you said you wouldn’t be coming home tonight… Am I hallucinating? This feels so real.”
“…….”
“Well, I do have a great imagination. Wow, this feels so real and amazing.”
I wasn’t sure what I was saying anymore. The words just kept pouring out.
“Do I feel like a hallucination?”
But Cha Jae-woo—or rather, the hallucination of him—seemed a bit offended by being called a hallucination.
“Um, no! You’re Cha Jae-woo, not a hallucination!”
Even if it was a hallucination, I didn’t want to upset him. I shook my head vigorously and buried my face in his chest. The feel of his firm muscles against my cheek made me blush, but I didn’t pull away. I wanted to savor this moment.
“Isn’t it your birthday?”
But my silly thoughts vanished with a single word from Cha Jae-woo. I looked up at him, forgetting my desire to hold him tighter. Cha Jae-woo was looking at me with a slight frown.
“I’ll talk.”
His low voice flowed gently into my ears. Uh… Is this not a hallucination? Is this really Cha Jae-woo? He said he wouldn’t come, but he did?
“I wouldn’t have gone out if I had known.”
My eyes blinked stupidly. I heard what he said, but I didn’t know how to respond.
So, he meant that if he had known it was my birthday, he would have stayed home? Did that mean he was here now because he knew it was my birthday?
“So… did you come home because of that?”
My question to Cha Jae-woo was filled with expectation.
“Yes.”
And Cha Jae-woo did not disappoint.
“If I had told you it was my birthday, would you really not have gone out today?”
“Yeah.”
Maybe it was the alcohol, but Cha Jae-woo’s firm answer made my eyes sting.
I clenched my jaw and looked down. I had been quite drunk, but suddenly I felt sober. The frustration that had been building all day was melting away.
Cha Jae-woo pulled me close. As the gap between us closed and I buried my face in his chest, he gently stroked the back of my head. His touch almost brought me to tears.
I felt ridiculous. Crying while drunk is one of the most pathetic things, but I couldn’t control it.
“Thank you…”
“…….”
“Actually, I…”
My voice was already choked with tears. I spoke softly, trying to hide my face. I felt embarrassed by what I was saying, but I wanted to say it. I wanted Cha Jae-woo to listen.
“Every year, on my birthday, I always…”
“Yeah.”
“Felt lonely.”
Ever since my parents passed away, and I no longer had them to ask if I had fun, cook me a warm dinner, or thank me for being born before I went to sleep, I had felt that way.
Maybe it’s because of the happy memories. It was truly a lonely feeling. Actually, that’s why I wanted a little more. I didn’t just want to be congratulated; I wanted Cha Jae-woo to spend that time with me. I thought it would make me feel less lonely.
“So, having you here now, Cha Jae-woo, makes me so happy…”
But I was wrong.
Less lonely? That didn’t even compare to what I was feeling. The loneliness that had always followed me disappeared in an instant, and I was happy just knowing that Cha Jae-woo was here with me now.
Oh, but that’s not all. I had another completely wrong thought.
“I like you. I really, really like you…”
The idea that my feelings were just a side effect was all a misunderstanding. The thought that this could just be a side effect was completely wrong.
“I like you, Cha Jae-woo…”
How could I call this feeling just a side effect?
