Cha Jae-woo’s laughter is rare. Seeing him even slightly smile is almost unheard of. Yet, he burst into laughter—not briefly, but for a good five seconds or so. Quite a long time.
But I missed it. I couldn’t look up; I was too embarrassed to lift my head. At least my ears caught the sound. …Well, not that it mattered much in this situation.
“One day……. Ha.”
“That’s not what I meant to say…….”
He was really pushing it.
I felt like disappearing into a mouse hole, embarrassed by Cha Jae-woo’s amused tone. But since there was no mouse hole in this house, I had to say something, anything.
“So, I was trying to, um, define our relationship—yours and mine. I thought we needed to clarify things a bit…….”
The real problem was, if Cha Jae-woo already thought we were dating, when did he think we started? I had been wondering about that.
Not that it mattered! Or maybe it did, a little. I wanted to celebrate anniversaries like everyone else.
“How did you jump to concluding it’s been one day?”
But now wasn’t the time to bring that up. I was already embarrassed enough, and Cha Jae-woo, with his calm demeanor, was pushing me into a corner.
“I’m sorry…….”
My head hung low. Then, Cha Jae-woo’s large hand gently touched my hair, softly ruffling it. I couldn’t help but look up again.
“There’s nothing to be sorry about.”
True, but apologizing seemed easier than explaining everything. Better than admitting I’d been overthinking it…
“So, how do you want to define our relationship?”
At least Cha Jae-woo didn’t dwell on the awkward moment. His lingering smile was because of my nonsense, but I was glad he didn’t bring it up again.
I quickly responded, “Well, I… I can’t help but think, um, sorry if I’m wrong, but… it seems like you, um, like me…….”
If only I hadn’t talked nonsense, I could have asked with more confidence. But the situation made my voice falter.
What if I was wrong? I’d die of embarrassment. I’d be humiliated for assuming too much.
“…….”
My fingers tapped nervously. Cha Jae-woo didn’t respond.
…Really? Did I really misread the signs? Did Cha Jae-woo not like me after all? Then what was all that about? Why did he keep touching me and being nice?
I thought I’d be the only one embarrassed, but his silence made me feel wronged.
Why would he keep touching someone he didn’t like? We weren’t even in a guiding session! That’s just not right.
“……Is that not true? Really? Then why did you keep touching me? I thought you liked me!”
I went from slumping to sitting up straight, demanding an answer. I felt wronged, and it showed. Cha Jae-woo smiled at me.
“Because you kept giving me—”
“I like you.”
“—signals… What?”
“You’re right. I do like you.”
“……Wow.”
Any feelings of being wronged vanished instantly. I had hoped, but hearing Cha Jae-woo confess left me stunned.
My heart reacted first, pounding—no, racing—in my chest. I stepped back, only then realizing I had moved away from him.
“……This can’t be true.”
“Why do you suddenly say it can’t be true when you thought it was?”
“Huh? Oh, right. I thought so too… But it just doesn’t make sense.”
Cha Jae-woo didn’t respond, but his expression said it all. He looked at me like I was talking nonsense.
Even I thought it was a bit ridiculous… But really, doesn’t it seem unbelievable? Getting confirmation only made me more doubtful.
“Why would you like me?”
“Because you’re pretty?”
“That’s a lie—I mean, don’t lie to me!”
“But it’s true.”
It’s still suspicious. The reason is just too unbelievable! If he had said it was because I was good at guiding or because I was reliable, I might have understood!
“You don’t believe me?”
“No, I don’t.”
I answered Cha Jae-woo immediately. It was obvious.
“If I liked you, it would make more sense…”
“That’s not it. You’re experiencing side effects.”
I had no response to that. My feelings for him did stem from side effects. Although I now think it’s more than just that, it’s still strange to think he likes me because of it.
“But I still like you.”
I gulped nervously. I couldn’t understand his reason, but Cha Jae-woo seemed sincere. I wanted to believe him—.
“Ah…”
The distance I had tried to keep vanished instantly. Cha Jae-woo closed the gap between us and cupped my cheek with one hand. His hand was so large that it easily enveloped my face.
“Why don’t you believe me?” he asked, gently turning my face from side to side.
“Who said you’re not pretty?”
His question implied that no one could possibly think that. I was momentarily speechless. I stammered a delayed response.
“M-my friends all say…”
“Is that so?”
“Yes…”
“I don’t think so.”
I blinked, confused. Cha Jae-woo didn’t seem inclined to explain further.
“If you don’t believe me, then don’t.”
He said it firmly. Suddenly, I felt anxious. I had assumed our relationship would naturally progress.
The truth was, I loved being close to Cha Jae-woo. I wanted to keep this level of intimacy, but with a clear reason. And I wanted to be able to approach him freely too.
“I didn’t mean—”
“You don’t have to believe me right now.”
But Cha Jae-woo’s expression was indifferent, and I couldn’t find the words to continue.
Was it going to end like this? I didn’t want it to. I couldn’t think of what to say. Should I just say I believe him? Ask him to be in a relationship with me? Would he agree? A flurry of thoughts raced through my mind.
“Let’s do it.”
It was a brief moment. Cha Jae-woo spoke calmly.
“Let’s try dating.”
“……Um…….”
“You want to, don’t you?”
I wasn’t sure how we got to this point, but I heard what I wanted to hear. Still, I hesitated to nod.
Does Cha Jae-woo not want this? Then why did he do all this? Didn’t he think we were already dating? Questions swirled in my mind.
“What about you?”
Instead of asking all my questions, I asked just one.
Do you want this too? Am I the only one who wants to date? Even after hearing him say he liked me, I felt uncertain. Is this how all beginnings feel? Nothing seemed clear.
“Who knows.”
His answer was vague.
A pang of disappointment hit me. I had assumed he wanted this too. I even thought he already considered us a couple.
But he didn’t. I felt foolish, thinking I was the only one being silly. Cha Jae-woo could do this even without guiding—.
“Ouch!”
“Are you digging a hole?”
“Huh?”
“You’re overthinking.”
I found myself gaping, wanting to snap back. How could I not overthink? But I held back. After all, it wasn’t fair to get angry when he didn’t share my feelings. Even though Cha Jae-woo had led me on, I was the one who had fallen for it. I couldn’t blame him.
“No, it’s just… I thought you wanted this too. So, I thought you were doing all this even without the guiding… You don’t have to if you don’t want to.”
My voice betrayed my disappointment. There was nothing more to say. I bowed my head, ready to retreat to my room, thinking the conversation was over.
“I’m not done talking.”
But he stopped me. I nodded weakly, feeling a mix of disappointment and betrayal. I felt like I had been toyed with.
“Lim Haeyul.”
“Yes…”
“As I said earlier, your feelings are a side effect. But do you really think I want a relationship?”
His words caught me off guard. My feelings of disappointment vanished, replaced by a sudden clarity. His words hit me like a blow to the back of the head.
“I don’t want to get hurt either.”
“…Oh.”
His words stung more than I expected. I hadn’t explained that my feelings for him were more than just a side effect. I truly liked him, and even if it was a side effect, my feelings wouldn’t disappear because I intended to stay by his side.
I realized I had been hasty. I looked at Cha Jae-woo, his face calm but his eyes intense.
“…You can want it too.”
I spoke carefully, clenching and unclenching my fists. Cha Jae-woo just looked at me, his gaze unwavering.
“You won’t get hurt.”
I truly didn’t want to hurt him. I liked him, and I wanted to be closer to him. Nothing else mattered.
“Are you sure?” he asked.
I nodded immediately.
